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Depression and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are peoples views on this?
A friend of mine was suffering with depression, stopped taking the tablets after a short while for a few months and then ended up a recluse etc again.
Managed to get him to see Dr's again and he's back on anti depressants.
Just before starting the antidepressants for the second time he was having sexual fun with a colleague(no longer work together) which has now turned into a relationship with her and being introduced and spending time with her four kids often.
They've made a swingers account and want to meet other couples for full swap fun
Surely fab isn't the best place for someone who is already depressed and seeing his gf fuck another man even whilst he's fucking the fem half could mess with his mental state even more and cause problems?
She says she loves him lots and lots and says he's her Peter pan but surely if that's the case then you would make sure he got better first before adding more potential problems, especially with kids involved also?
He will also sit in the same room as guys ring her sex line and wank to her talking dirty and pretending she's a chick with a dick.
Any advice welcome... Just no people saying I'm jealous as I'm one of a number of friends he just isn't listening to atm. |
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"What are peoples views on this?
A friend of mine was suffering with depression, stopped taking the tablets after a short while for a few months and then ended up a recluse etc again.
Managed to get him to see Dr's again and he's back on anti depressants.
Just before starting the antidepressants for the second time he was having sexual fun with a colleague(no longer work together) which has now turned into a relationship with her and being introduced and spending time with her four kids often.
They've made a swingers account and want to meet other couples for full swap fun
Surely fab isn't the best place for someone who is already depressed and seeing his gf fuck another man even whilst he's fucking the fem half could mess with his mental state even more and cause problems?
She says she loves him lots and lots and says he's her Peter pan but surely if that's the case then you would make sure he got better first before adding more potential problems, especially with kids involved also?
He will also sit in the same room as guys ring her sex line and wank to her talking dirty and pretending she's a chick with a dick.
Any advice welcome... Just no people saying I'm jealous as I'm one of a number of friends he just isn't listening to atm. "
Forget the sex and think of the kids, there safety is paramount |
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By *pmsldCouple
over a year ago
kettering |
I dont think anyone is going to be able to give you the answers here. Best advice is really to let him find his own way and just be there to support him either way. You dont know what is hidden in his mind, it could hurt him more or it could help him beat it, only he would be able to tell you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are peoples views on this?
A friend of mine was suffering with depression, stopped taking the tablets after a short while for a few months and then ended up a recluse etc again.
Managed to get him to see Dr's again and he's back on anti depressants.
Just before starting the antidepressants for the second time he was having sexual fun with a colleague(no longer work together) which has now turned into a relationship with her and being introduced and spending time with her four kids often.
They've made a swingers account and want to meet other couples for full swap fun
Surely fab isn't the best place for someone who is already depressed and seeing his gf fuck another man even whilst he's fucking the fem half could mess with his mental state even more and cause problems?
She says she loves him lots and lots and says he's her Peter pan but surely if that's the case then you would make sure he got better first before adding more potential problems, especially with kids involved also?
He will also sit in the same room as guys ring her sex line and wank to her talking dirty and pretending she's a chick with a dick.
Any advice welcome... Just no people saying I'm jealous as I'm one of a number of friends he just isn't listening to atm. "
You'd be surprised how many in the swinging lifestyle are suffering with mental health problems. You've tried speaking with him, as have others. He's a grown man and this is his decision to make. You've done what you can for now. It is his life and how he chooses to live it, is his business. You can only be there to support if it does go a bit pear shaped.
Holly |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Depression is quite common, and poorly understood by people who don't suffer it. The OP, I'm afraid, is an example.
I suffer depression, and I have to say that swinging has been good for it. It gets me out of the house and meeting new people. It's got me a social life and new friends. I'm feeling better now than I have in the last 30+ years. My psychologist approves.
It sounds like he's getting the help he needs from professionals. Let him and them worry about what's best treatment-wise. Be happy that your friend has found something good. Don't try to take it away from him. |
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"
You'd be surprised how many in the swinging lifestyle are suffering with mental health problems. You've tried speaking with him, as have others. He's a grown man and this is his decision to make. You've done what you can for now. It is his life and how he chooses to live it, is his business. You can only be there to support if it does go a bit pear shaped.
Holly"
This |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks all, always hard either way I know.
Its like is it what he really wants or is it just him trying to find a way out.. Only time will tell. She's been a full on swinger before with her husband yet he's only dabbled in it.
Yea of course we will still be there for him if it goes pear shaped with her.
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depression is quite common, and poorly understood by people who don't suffer it. The OP, I'm afraid, is an example.
I suffer depression, and I have to say that swinging has been good for it. It gets me out of the house and meeting new people. It's got me a social life and new friends. I'm feeling better now than I have in the last 30+ years. My psychologist approves.
It sounds like he's getting the help he needs from professionals. Let him and them worry about what's best treatment-wise. Be happy that your friend has found something good. Don't try to take it away from him."
We are happy, just trying to look at it from all points of view. |
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There is often a temptation for other people to blame partners for some of the depressed person's mental state. That isn't true in many cases, quite often the partner is in as much need of support as the depressed person. They see the person at their worst, often endure days, weeks or months of moodiness, short temper and sometimes unkind comments. I know this from watching my parents deal with my mother's bouts of this horrible illness.
Supporting the pair of them, accepting her and trusting that she has his best interests at heart is the best way forward in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression is quite common, and poorly understood by people who don't suffer it. The OP, I'm afraid, is an example.
I suffer depression, and I have to say that swinging has been good for it. It gets me out of the house and meeting new people. It's got me a social life and new friends. I'm feeling better now than I have in the last 30+ years. My psychologist approves.
It sounds like he's getting the help he needs from professionals. Let him and them worry about what's best treatment-wise. Be happy that your friend has found something good. Don't try to take it away from him."
Totally agree,I suffer with it myself and swinging is great for me. Like you said, gets you outside the house in a relaxed environment, meeting new people, having a laugh, lots of sex. Keeps me happy.
This lad might really enjoy watching his partner with other people, and hearing that too. If he's actually happy being with her I say just be happy for him and support him if he needs that from you in the future  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know a few people on the scene that have depression .I think it's good for them to get some attention and if it makes them feel good then why not . It's the brain releasing endorphins and serotonin that helps them and gives them that feel good factor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have depression and, whilst not a hardened swinger, Fab and exploring my sexuality has been amazing for my mental health. Actually it has helped me understand me and why I've struggled to fit into 'vanilla' relationships. The hedonist in me has been validated by the open minded people I have met through here.
Yes sometimes things can not go the way I wanted but that is the same with every aspect of life.
As with anything, just be there for him in case it goes wrong or he needs support. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have depression and, whilst not a hardened swinger, Fab and exploring my sexuality has been amazing for my mental health. Actually it has helped me understand me and why I've struggled to fit into 'vanilla' relationships. The hedonist in me has been validated by the open minded people I have met through here.
Yes sometimes things can not go the way I wanted but that is the same with every aspect of life.
As with anything, just be there for him in case it goes wrong or he needs support. "
Exactly that |
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