FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Turning people down
Turning people down
Jump to: Newest in thread
Sadly i think you're damned whatever approach you take, i certainly prefer a polite "not my type" but i think given how awful so many guys seem to be you may be best taking the easy option of delete and block, it pains me to say that but totally get why most choose that option.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"
Yep this is what we usually say too. Most just reply saying thank you for the message. Some just block you straight away. Very rare genuine couples ask for reasons. When people ask for reasons that’s when I use the block button! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me
If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me
If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us"
Our profile does have a specific which some people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me
If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us
Our profile does have a specific which some people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do... "
If they ignore it ignore their message, you owe them nothing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x
Yep this is what we usually say too. Most just reply saying thank you for the message. Some just block you straight away. Very rare genuine couples ask for reasons. When people ask for reasons that’s when I use the block button! "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that 
Whinge over  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me
If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us
Our profile does have a specific which some
people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do... "
I have just told someone they haven’t read my profile. I just delete |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair I ignore, no answer is an answer. It seems brutal but I have found from past experiences some people get snarky no matter how polite and gentle you are. I have no problem being ignored, others should not either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."
I think we should do this, had 2 occasions now where we were very polite about saying no only to get abuse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that
Whinge over "
That's not on, especially sending a friend request. Talk about mixed messages  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"
This is the best way as you don't get mixed signals .. I then put a note on their account that I'm not what they're looking for.. saves me messaging again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."
I've learnt over the years, you can't win either way....
I've replied politely and got abuse back.. Some guys prefer no reply, rather than a "sorry your not my type".
We are not attracted to everyone that crosses are path, it works both ways... But some folk really struggle with that.
So just reply with what works best for you.
Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that
Whinge over "
I fabbed a few recent uploaded pics and received a message saying thanks yours are nice. I replied with cheers and said yours are slightly better or something.
Despite blocking me... I was told not to contact again as my ego was too big - theirs were better pics.
I am still working it out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Treat everyone with as much respect as you offer...
I recieve quite a lot of messages and try to get back to as many as possible. Sometimes no upsets them but largely they are a good bunch and blocking is a rarity.
Sx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We try to politely reply to every message but some guys make this really difficult.
They say something stupid, crass and crude, one word, or start sweatily telling us about their fantasy to fuck her, ignoring it’s a couple’s account. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We try to politely reply to every message but some guys make this really difficult.
They say something stupid, crass and crude, one word, or start sweatily telling us about their fantasy to fuck her, ignoring it’s a couple’s account."
That’s why we do not reply any more. We state that openly on profile, no response means no thanks. We state we accept the same, too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x
This is the best way as you don't get mixed signals .. I then put a note on their account that I'm not what they're looking for.. saves me messaging again "
I do this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that
Whinge over
That's not on, especially sending a friend request. Talk about mixed messages "
They only want me for my body, it’s the face that must put em off
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s hard to know what to do for the best when you first join but there’s some great advice on this thread.
One important thing to remember, you’re on here to have fun so do what’s best for you as a couple and don’t let others spoil that. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Genrally a policy of polite, honest but clear no thanks. Dont need to go into the ins and outs of why not. I think most people are perfectly ok about that and just glad you messaged them back and thus avoiding any wasted energies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"
This is what we do. Ninety nine percent of people respect that; the 1% who don't and are either rude or start pleading (yes really) get blocked. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that
Whinge over "
The person obv changed their mind which is fine! No one owes anyone anything, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arksxMan
over a year ago
Leicester / London |
However you choose...whether its polite message, block or delete
Communicate it clearly
You cant blame anyone for not understanding your thoughts if you don't communicate them.
As for... "in the past people where rude when they where rejected, so now I'm rude now to everyone in the future"... wow! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
Just be honest and explain that there is no attraction based on any message and photos supplied so far.
We do use Block quite ruthlessly now, but really as a means to hide profiles that have no appeal to us. It's enough to just try and keep up with responding, without having to explain explicitly, or receive messages frommprofiles that have looked at you but you know dont interest you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just a polite " I'm currently meeting with someone else" is an easy way out.
x"
If you've put a meet up, you can still get more messages from the same person. I often use I have friends around, family coming but still get 'when are they leaving etc..' whereupon I'm often waiting for the right person to contact or a reply from a message I've sent.
Generally these days I'll delete their message or ignore it, can't be bothered to get in some sort of dialogue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I normally start by thanking them for their message and compliments and then explain they are not what I am looking for.
It costs nothing to be nice and curtious x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."
Be polite, honest and wish them happy swinging. If they are polite as well, they will accept it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *p230Man
over a year ago
Warwickshire |
"Just a polite " I'm currently meeting with someone else" is an easy way out.
x
If you've put a meet up, you can still get more messages from the same person. I often use I have friends around, family coming but still get 'when are they leaving etc..' whereupon I'm often waiting for the right person to contact or a reply from a message I've sent.
Generally these days I'll delete their message or ignore it, can't be bothered to get in some sort of dialogue."
Unfortunately some peoe are extremely thick skinned & can't take a hint, that's when you have to use the block option. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."
We usually just say "thanks for the interest but you're not what we're looking for" and with them all the best. Nobody yet has ever responded with a rude comment.
A few people have asked why, and we will generally explain nicely.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Us chaps on here need to understand that we outnumber the women by 100's to 1.
Rejection is very common and needs to be respected. Politeness and good conduct will get you a lot further. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We tend to just not reply. Since blocking single men we haven't really had many issues with this!! We've had loads of couples wink us first or reply to a wink but when we message they delete!! Not sure what that's all about??
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
