FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice for single guy, what am I doing wrong? :/
Advice for single guy, what am I doing wrong? :/
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?" join the masses of single men on here , there are lots of these threads started every day I'm sure you will get critiques if you ask for them | |||
| |||
 Patience of leopard is the key  | |||
| |||
"Just go to a few club events to build your confidence. Women on here tend to prefer men who aren't 'new'. Or that's how it seems to me anyway. " Yeah It's something I've been considering, I'll see if i can find something near me | |||
"That's fab life bud you can't make people meet you just because you want them to hah we all struggle at times Patience of leopard is the key "I know it's obviously a war against 1000 other people writing to girls and couples. It just gets tiring when your message gets read by multiple people who just leave it hanging there, it's just difficult to know what I could do better | |||
| |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal"  this | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this"Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet. | |||
| |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal" ignore that some like it some dont. better advice is, update your bloody profile, it's still saying you are 21!?! In the 3years at least that you have been on fab, have you not seen the myriad of clubs or socials events? My evaluation is:- you have been more interested in cybersex Too lazy to be proactive Say something daftin a mail that turns someone right off ya As far as I can see you have an ok profile,picwise. | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal ignore that some like it some dont. better advice is, update your bloody profile, it's still saying you are 21!?! In the 3years at least that you have been on fab, have you not seen the myriad of clubs or socials events? My evaluation is:- you have been more interested in cybersex Too lazy to be proactive Say something daftin a mail that turns someone right off ya As far as I can see you have an ok profile,picwise." Yeah that's why I was conflicted whether to keep them or take them off, I'm 23 btw. Thank you about the pics. In the mail usually I start off easy, I try to shortly present myself and I don't go too explicit straight away. I try to address what people tell in their profile/status and I always give the option of a social meet first. But yeah, maybe I could do more. | |||
| |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal ignore that some like it some dont. better advice is, update your bloody profile, it's still saying you are 21!?! In the 3years at least that you have been on fab, have you not seen the myriad of clubs or socials events? My evaluation is:- you have been more interested in cybersex Too lazy to be proactive Say something daftin a mail that turns someone right off ya As far as I can see you have an ok profile,picwise. Yeah that's why I was conflicted whether to keep them or take them off, I'm 23 btw. Thank you about the pics. In the mail usually I start off easy, I try to shortly present myself and I don't go too explicit straight away. I try to address what people tell in their profile/status and I always give the option of a social meet first. But yeah, maybe I could do more." well good luck, and if things arent working try a new approach, my advice is to never really get to that stage where you are writing a porn novel. look at the social events happening nearby in the future,it is a gateway at least(but dont just stand around gawking then claim you were ignored lol) | |||
| |||
 | |||
"OP, have you blocked any profiles yet? My advice; start blocking! Set your search parameters for the people you’re particularly interested in, then block every profile you don’t like the look or sound of, and every one you don’t sound like you fit their preferences. Doing this narrows your search field to those who are a genuine, potential match to. Then you can start messaging, and because you are sending out far fewer messages, you will put more effort in, and more likely to be successful with replies. Do what you like with your profile; it’s you showing who you are, but cut the wheat from the chaff; block. "nope..this sounds like shite. | |||
"Dad bod thread doing well...maybe eat a load of burgers and try that angle "Ahaha radical change of strategy | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this
Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet."Keep the dick pics.. a lot of girls like to perv too  | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this
Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet.
Keep the dick pics.. a lot of girls like to perv too "Fair enough, thank you | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this
Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet.
Keep the dick pics.. a lot of girls like to perv too
Fair enough, thank you "You’re very cute.. hope you start having a bit of luck.. persevere lol x | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this
Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet.
Keep the dick pics.. a lot of girls like to perv too
Fair enough, thank you
You’re very cute.. hope you start having a bit of luck.. persevere lol x"Thank you ahah I was starting to second guess that  | |||
| |||
"You profile is slightly above average for a man on fab. But you will not get anywhere without putting in the work. Networking is key. Local events clubs or socials. Get your face known. Build the network. Build the connections.. Then your meets will progress. " | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?" You can be the most decent nice guy on here it won't entitle you to a women attention. My advice is go to clubs, yes they may be a little expensive and sometimes a little clickey but at least you will meet people face to face. | |||
"I’d remove the duck pics and put them in a friends only gallery for starters, the amount of women and couples that complain about seeing them and how it isn’t a turn on is unreal this
Yeah I can imagine, I'll try that and maybe leave/take better body pics. I still want to keep it relatively discreet.
Keep the dick pics.. a lot of girls like to perv too
Fair enough, thank you "So within the next month can you please address these issues and come back to us? | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve? You can be the most decent nice guy on here it won't entitle you to a women attention. My advice is go to clubs, yes they may be a little expensive and sometimes a little clickey but at least you will meet people face to face." er..you wont be entitled anywhere lol, and socials are free in most cases..no expense needed. | |||
| |||
"Yes. It's an uphill struggle to be sure, but it's plain rude to just ignore messages." No it not, it women prerogative, so suck it up. | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?" . I would adjust the age range you are looking for unless you are looking to meet a 99 year old.I see you are in London where there are two members only clubs one in Central London the other North London are you prepared to travel if so apply for membership Organised social are also a good way to meet people check the London forums there are regular socials in Croydon , St Paul’s and Heathrow.Speaking of Heathrow again If you can travel then Kestrels daytime spa and Ab Fabs in the evening are good places to go.A place with mixed reviews is Rios in Kentish Town. | |||
"Yes. It's an uphill struggle to be sure, but it's plain rude to just ignore messages." I wouldn’t say it’s rude. Impossible maybe.. could you get through 100+ messages a day? | |||
"Yes. It's an uphill struggle to be sure, but it's plain rude to just ignore messages." Our profile includes a little note, stating that if no reply from us, take it as a polite “No thanks”. As stated earlier, single ladies, and couples, get loads of messages each day. | |||
 | |||
| |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?" Maybe actually BEING a decent person instead of “putting in effort to appear like one” might help ?? Keep the cock pic..... You have a decent one ???? | |||
"Yes. It's an uphill struggle to be sure, but it's plain rude to just ignore messages. Our profile includes a little note, stating that if no reply from us, take it as a polite “No thanks”. As stated earlier, single ladies, and couples, get loads of messages each day." We don't get many messages. Then again we scare the shit out of most!!!! | |||
| |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" Wow, that looks comprehensive ahah thank you,I'll try a bit of all of the above. | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?. I would adjust the age range you are looking for unless you are looking to meet a 99 year old.I see you are in London where there are two members only clubs one in Central London the other North London are you prepared to travel if so apply for membership Organised social are also a good way to meet people check the London forums there are regular socials in Croydon , St Paul’s and Heathrow.Speaking of Heathrow again If you can travel then Kestrels daytime spa and Ab Fabs in the evening are good places to go.A place with mixed reviews is Rios in Kentish Town." I'll look into that, if you don't mind me asking , doyou know the names of those events in Central London you were saying, that would help my research :P | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?. I would adjust the age range you are looking for unless you are looking to meet a 99 year old.I see you are in London where there are two members only clubs one in Central London the other North London are you prepared to travel if so apply for membership Organised social are also a good way to meet people check the London forums there are regular socials in Croydon , St Paul’s and Heathrow.Speaking of Heathrow again If you can travel then Kestrels daytime spa and Ab Fabs in the evening are good places to go.A place with mixed reviews is Rios in Kentish Town. I'll look into that, if you don't mind me asking , doyou know the names of those events in Central London you were saying, that would help my research :P" . The club in Central London is Le Boudior nearest underground Liverpool Street or Aldgate go to the club reviews on Fabs you will find it under Greater London along with other clubs in different parts of London.The social is in the St Paul’s area go to the London forums and state you are interested it is possible full for single guys but it may be worth expressing a interest as there maybe a reserve list if single guys drop out.Best of luck with everything. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?join the masses of single men on here , there are lots of these threads started every day I'm sure you will get critiques if you ask for them " your right but in the end it feels like it 1000 men to 1 females and couples so only the best of the best win here | |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" Great post | |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538 Great post "Nailed it | |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?. I would adjust the age range you are looking for unless you are looking to meet a 99 year old.I see you are in London where there are two members only clubs one in Central London the other North London are you prepared to travel if so apply for membership Organised social are also a good way to meet people check the London forums there are regular socials in Croydon , St Paul’s and Heathrow.Speaking of Heathrow again If you can travel then Kestrels daytime spa and Ab Fabs in the evening are good places to go.A place with mixed reviews is Rios in Kentish Town. I'll look into that, if you don't mind me asking , doyou know the names of those events in Central London you were saying, that would help my research :P" Have a look at the Meets and Events page and the London forum. | |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" This is amazing advice but also consider listening to a few podcasts like “front porch swingers”, “the keys and anklets podcast” and “the stag’s stable”. These three podcasts look at the Life Style from the cuckolding/hotwife/single male perspective and I think give useful tips on standing out and raising your game. Good luck. | |||
| |||
"A thing I really struggle with is to balance a message. I mean there's rarely a way to get what people want to hear. How do i know when something is over the line of sounding pushy? after all there's people who plainly write they want to be "fucked hard and made squirt everywhere", what should I do? offer roses?" generally i write something along this line: Hey xxx, lovely profile, I love your pictures! I'm Marco, I'm an easy going guy, here to meet new people. I love to find complicity in sex and see the contrasts between soft and hard lovemaking, it's one of the things that turns me on the most! I would really like to know you better. Obviously we can meet socially first if you prefer, I'm very discreet, clean and don't wanna look like a creep ahah I live in xxxx and I could either host or travel. I hope to hear back from you, otherwise I hope you can find what you look for! | |||
| |||
"Hey guys, I've been here for a while now and regardless of the effort that I'm putting into appearing like a decent person when approaching couples or single girls, I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Would anyone be so kind to give me a feedback or any tip on how to improve?. I would adjust the age range you are looking for unless you are looking to meet a 99 year old.I see you are in London where there are two members only clubs one in Central London the other North London are you prepared to travel if so apply for membership Organised social are also a good way to meet people check the London forums there are regular socials in Croydon , St Paul’s and Heathrow.Speaking of Heathrow again If you can travel then Kestrels daytime spa and Ab Fabs in the evening are good places to go.A place with mixed reviews is Rios in Kentish Town. I'll look into that, if you don't mind me asking , doyou know the names of those events in Central London you were saying, that would help my research :P" . Go on the forums. Plenty on wherever is local to you to show when socials are, how to sign up and also connect with others locally | |||
| |||
"Been here for awhile too, send several messages, nothing, got told will only meet with verify but if cannot meet anyone how can I be proven to be real" Have you tried a cam veri even ? | |||
"Been here for awhile too, send several messages, nothing, got told will only meet with verify but if cannot meet anyone how can I be proven to be real" Attend social/clubs for veris, check numbers how many message sent by you, and how many responded (positive/negative) and do the probabilities for example out of 10 sent messages 3 will reply, 2 will say no thanks, 1 might be, these numbers varies for each individual. Now you have send 10+ messages for meet. I wouldn't do, I would go to club | |||
| |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" This is possibly, the best feedback I've seen with regards to profiles. If you follow this to 50% you'll surely get results! Good luck! x Niki | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I have to be honest with you, but DO NOT PUT DICK PICTURES ON YOUR PROFILE!!! It honestly will repel women galore." why drag this thread up after a year ? Isn't there enough threads of this ilk already and a lot more recent ? | |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" Perfect | |||
"Hiya. I’ll paste my general advice below but, before I do, I think you look lovely but saying you’re “rough in bed” is a red flag because it could mean anything from pre-agreed consensual fun to something really scary. Almost every woman I know on Fab has had something scary happen to them. You need to introduce the concept of rough sex in a way that suggests you’re fully aware of safety. Here’s my general advice: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind - see erect-Jim or Adam1971 or walkingtaff for examples). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538 Perfect "This | |||
| |||
