FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What do people look for in first message?
What do people look for in first message?
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The majority would want you to have read their profile and be what they're looking for. A bit of humour and intelligence is always nice to read but a genuine well thought out message stands a good chance of getting a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally if there isn't one on profile a face pic. As harsh as it may sound it's a make it or break it and saves time and effort for both parties.
Other than that I wouldn't expect more than a hi or hello considering my profile |
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"The majority would want you to have read their profile and be what they're looking for. A bit of humour and intelligence is always nice to read but a genuine well thought out message stands a good chance of getting a reply."
Would be good if more people had a profile then! The number of profiles with just a stock silhouette Avi and a description that says "looking for fun" is unreal |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Magherafelt |
I usually want a face pic and a body pic, if it's not on their profile already.
A sentence or two on where they want me to take them on a social helps. A bot about themselves and what they enjoy etc...
Seriously though, the amount of women that put no effort whatsoever... Just one lines like:
"hey wanna ride me xoxo"
"been dying for some oriental cock hun"
"gimme yer porksword sweetiepie"
Unbelievable hard to get a decent meet here. The women need to cop on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as it’s cohesive and articulate we don’t care, a short hello is fine
Let’s face it if some hotties that fit our criteria message us we don’t care what it says as long as it’s in English, polite and makes sense! Not much to ask for but you’d be surprised xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A good first message should demonstrate some personality and originality, make it clear that they've read our profile and show that they are genuinely looking for the same things as us!
There's nothing worse than someone telling you what they think you want to hear in order to try and get a meet because you can see right through it after a glance at their profile and a couple of messages. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Theres no magic formula..
Its not gender specific the inability to read a profile or send a message of more than 'hi'
My other observation
I doubt any words you'd type would change a persons mind if they didn't find you attractive.
 |
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" relate to something they have written in their profile and something about yourself...more than just a few words, a couple of sentences "
Seen a few profiles which say 'fill in later' & one which just had ......
Do I need to learn Morse Code to answer?
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Hi
Any tips would be grateful.
Thanks"
There no magic enchantment, you just have to sound as normal down to earth and genuine as you can and try and be loud then all the rest and try and drown out all the losers and desperate men that think cock pics and fancy a fuck messages are all you need to slip a women panties off.
addendum: Some women may like cock pics some do not |
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A face pic is needed for me. Without one I just delete without reply. Anyone with a meet now/wanna fuck type message gets blocked.
If there is a face pic a simple "would you like to talk" message is fine. Then it's a simple yes I would or a sorry not for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A good first message should demonstrate some personality and originality, make it clear that they've read our profile and show that they are genuinely looking for the same things as us!
There's nothing worse than someone telling you what they think you want to hear in order to try and get a meet because you can see right through it after a glance at their profile and a couple of messages."
This ^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, anything.
I think understandably women and cpls here are flooded with uninspiring single Ms & dumb chat but it takes two to tango and people will miss out if they don't attempt to strike up an honest conversation. It's easy enough to block & ignore those who won't make the effort but I truly appreciate anyone who took the time to click the message button  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm slightly different in as much as I reply to most of my messages and respect the fact that not everyone is good at the written word, though if you want a reply without the word sorry in then some semblance of personality and originality is best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm slightly different in as much as I reply to most of my messages and respect the fact that not everyone is good at the written word, though if you want a reply without the word sorry in then some semblance of personality and originality is best "
I'm absolutely crap at the written word, I'm nervous, uninspiring, devoid of human emotions, I evoke scepticism and I'm very tanned, I'm not worthy of a reply don't do it you know you'll regret it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
Any tips would be grateful.
Thanks"
Most people look at your profile before opening your email. If your profile doesn't grab them your email gets deleted or left unopened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
Any tips would be grateful.
Thanks
Most people look at your profile before opening your email. If your profile doesn't grab them your email gets deleted or left unopened. "
Agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
Any tips would be grateful.
Thanks
Most people look at your profile before opening your email. If your profile doesn't grab them your email gets deleted or left unopened. "
Agree this ^^ |
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... and if you are sending a face pic... Please smile. The number of pics we receive where the sender either looks like a mass murderer or heard the worst news of his life before photographing himself.
Lighten up people. A smile makes everyone seem more approachable.
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Something that is genuine and that is not a two word conversation. So many people instigate but then send one or two words messages. I like a good flowing genuine conversation.
That just might be me tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone prepared to post an example first message? "
Small introduction, in message show you have read their profile and match with their interest and draft message such a way so they will have some smile or laugh. |
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"Anyone prepared to post an example first message? "
If you were messaging me you could say something like " Hello. I see from reading your verifications you have been to both Quest and Pandoras. Which do you prefer ?" |
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Wife chooses all meets. If you have a sense of humor and make a effort with your message you will stand out from the croud. Funny is more effective than dirty. And she does not even look at the cock pics until she is arranges a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there's too much pressure to write the 'perfect' first message. If you're messaging someone you like the look of but they don't have much written in their profile it can be hard to know what to put - this is why I tend to message people who have written something in their profiles that I can respond to. But if someone sends me a message that's nice, suggests they've looked at my profile and gives me something to respond to then that's a decent start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A face pic ..... def a face pic  Do you also like observations on your decor at home? 
That ones lost on me I’m afraid lol ? ? Not sure what you mean ? "
background of pics also selling home thread |
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"A face pic ..... def a face pic Do you also like observations on your decor at home?
That ones lost on me I’m afraid lol ? ? Not sure what you mean ? background of pics also selling home thread "
Aha yes I get ya |
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my advice would be this.
Keep it fairly short, don't over do it. Ask questions in relation to their/her/his profile.
Introduce yourself without copying your words in own profile.
Also include a face pic. Always include a face pic *golden rule*
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"I just put... Wanna fuck in next hour or so??... Either works or it doesn't... But genrally does
Couldn't think or a more off putting message to receive"
that's your choice.. Some don't look into it to much.. and just wanna fuck and is just usually being at the right place at right time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something that shows they have bothered to read our profile.
This. If you can do this you're better off than 80-90%."
I don’t like this comment. I read all before I message. If it full of negatives I don’t bother. If there are no public photos I don’t bother, if it list the details of say a famous actor I don’t bother.then if I find one I like I write a pointed message based on the profile only to see it deleted unread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus Christ it’s easy. Don’t be creepy, don’t be sleazy. Talk to them as a person and not a commodity. Engage them in a conversation that’s not about sex to start with. If they are interested the conversation will move on. The lads that do well on here also do well in the real world. If that’s not you, you will not fair any better here. |
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I tell you what is an instant turn off for me in a first message
One of those HUGE copy and paste things about what they are going to do to me
Normally start with ‘ Hey Scarlett , how would you like this scenario ?’
A simple ‘hey , if you like me let’s message’ with a couple pics including a face one is perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell you what is an instant turn off for me in a first message
One of those HUGE copy and paste things about what they are going to do to me
Normally start with ‘ Hey Scarlett , how would you like this scenario ?’
A simple ‘hey , if you like me let’s message’ with a couple pics including a face one is perfect "
Hey _carlettx you look gorgeous let's go to aldis for coffee I've got my rocks on profile......... That sort of thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Demonstrate that you've read the profile of the person you're messaging.
Ive lost count of the times guys have sent messages and clearly not fitting what I look for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Demonstrate that you've read the profile of the person you're messaging.
Ive lost count of the times guys have sent messages and clearly not fitting what I look for."
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