FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > An affair...
An affair...
Jump to: Newest in thread
Just whilst discussing meets and mrs. potential desire for a one on one again...
She mentioned that the thought of an affair or role play, as such, might be fun 
Not entirely sure hiwe that would work though, nor if I'm 100% happy with the idea and if I should be worried?
Personally, if she does meet one on one it's the opposite that I would like and regular updates, pictures etc.
We're still finding our feet in the lifestyle though and maybe this is just another dynamic? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It sounds like what she wants is beyond your boundaries, so tell her. If you are not comfortable with it, then don't agree to it. I'm sure she'll understand...
x N |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a similar situation with my partner. The way we resolved it was we met a nice guy together a few times and we build a friendship with him. Then I was happy for them to meet on their own as I new she was in good hands. I’m not saying that it would be right for you but just that it worked for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before?"
Yep, and something we'll stick to in always meeting them together first.
And yes she is  but after meeting as a couple, using kik to chat so we all can in a group etc. Conversation is always one sided (understandably) and generally speaking, my own comments ignored. The second meet, the chap just ignored completely and used text directly with B, we talked and I knew everything all the way through but...
Do wonder if this is how it is for couples, if we've been unlucky (not that B found it all bad  ) or if we're doing something wrong? And no we/I am not complaining...
As I said we're still finding our feet lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before?
Yep, and something we'll stick to in always meeting them together first.
And yes she is but after meeting as a couple, using kik to chat so we all can in a group etc. Conversation is always one sided (understandably) and generally speaking, my own comments ignored. The second meet, the chap just ignored completely and used text directly with B, we talked and I knew everything all the way through but...
Do wonder if this is how it is for couples, if we've been unlucky (not that B found it all bad ) or if we're doing something wrong? And no we/I am not complaining...
As I said we're still finding our feet lol "
That’s guys for you - many of them just wanna get laid and obviously your wife will attract lots of attention. To reduce the number of guys like this who we meet, we always have a phone call and you soon pick them out.
Does your wife want an actual affair or just solo sex? Maybe seeing the guys as fuck buddies would work better but that spends how you feel.
We are always kind of looking for fuck buddies to meet on our own but nothing has worked yet.
Good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before?
Yep, and something we'll stick to in always meeting them together first.
And yes she is but after meeting as a couple, using kik to chat so we all can in a group etc. Conversation is always one sided (understandably) and generally speaking, my own comments ignored. The second meet, the chap just ignored completely and used text directly with B, we talked and I knew everything all the way through but...
Do wonder if this is how it is for couples, if we've been unlucky (not that B found it all bad ) or if we're doing something wrong? And no we/I am not complaining...
As I said we're still finding our feet lol "
The videos/pics are essential to us and we make that clear from the very start. Mrs can meet as often as she likes (including little surprise meets I don’t know about) but a live vidcall with further vids and pics (sent from her phone) means I know she’s safe and having fun. It also means I feel part of the scene, even if I’m home alone (often the case with kids). If it’s important to you, you need to make that clear. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before?
Yep, and something we'll stick to in always meeting them together first.
And yes she is but after meeting as a couple, using kik to chat so we all can in a group etc. Conversation is always one sided (understandably) and generally speaking, my own comments ignored. The second meet, the chap just ignored completely and used text directly with B, we talked and I knew everything all the way through but...
Do wonder if this is how it is for couples, if we've been unlucky (not that B found it all bad ) or if we're doing something wrong? And no we/I am not complaining...
As I said we're still finding our feet lol "
Maybe you need to make it clear beforehand that all contact must be through kik or whatever. Then stick to your guns and stop the meeting if it's not adhered to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meeting 1 on 1 does not always mean an affair.
That's a word that shouldn't really be on a swinging site."
Affair and swinging definitely don't mix and are 2 very different things.
I guess they may ignore you as they are getting 1 on 1 meets with your wife so see your involvement as minimal?
Me and my wife only play together so when we have met a single male to play with (straight MFM play) I'd say in most cases they have chatted interacted with me more than my wife or at most it's been 50/50. Then again it's a totally different type of meet I guess.
Have you considered meeting some of the guys with your wife for MFM 3some fun?
KJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
An affair implies strong feelings to me. It isn't something I would be happy about.
If you can accept that your wife is setting up a relationship with another man and be happy about that even as role play it'll be fine though.
You ask if you should be worried? I would be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We've found that most single guys we've chatted to have presumed (wrongly) that we are in a cuck relationship. That's far from the reality! While for the first couple of years we did look to meet separately we found the constant imbalance of attention (99% to me!) caused negative feelings and jealousy to rear it's ugly head! So we took a step back and for now generally only look for couples. I still have a want to meet singly but our marriage and Fuzz's feelings come first, it's not a biggie really! We never say never though!
Peach x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not all us guys think Cockolding, I have meet one couple for many years it started as a social with all of us there then me and the lady started playing alone once all are comfortable. Its about respect on all sides. I would love to devolpe another relationship like this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just whilst discussing meets and mrs. potential desire for a one on one again...
She mentioned that the thought of an affair or role play, as such, might be fun
Not entirely sure hiwe that would work though, nor if I'm 100% happy with the idea and if I should be worried?
Personally, if she does meet one on one it's the opposite that I would like and regular updates, pictures etc.
We're still finding our feet in the lifestyle though and maybe this is just another dynamic?"
she's testing your allegiance  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Just whilst discussing meets and mrs. potential desire for a one on one again...
She mentioned that the thought of an affair or role play, as such, might be fun
Not entirely sure hiwe that would work though, nor if I'm 100% happy with the idea and if I should be worried?
Personally, if she does meet one on one it's the opposite that I would like and regular updates, pictures etc.
We're still finding our feet in the lifestyle though and maybe this is just another dynamic?"
The fact that your lovely lady has mentioned it means you have strong bond, we all only want mysterious fun and then come home to our love one, who we can't replace |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkyNinjaWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere over the rainbow... |
"You say on the solo meets that she has been on the guys seemed to ignore the fact that you were a couple OP but is that really surprising? They were on a one on one meet with a hot woman. Had you met them before?
Yep, and something we'll stick to in always meeting them together first.
And yes she is but after meeting as a couple, using kik to chat so we all can in a group etc. Conversation is always one sided (understandably) and generally speaking, my own comments ignored. The second meet, the chap just ignored completely and used text directly with B, we talked and I knew everything all the way through but...
Do wonder if this is how it is for couples, if we've been unlucky (not that B found it all bad ) or if we're doing something wrong? And no we/I am not complaining...
As I said we're still finding our feet lol "
I will only ever chat to both people. If just the man or just the woman wants to talk to me then I’m not interested.
Whilst we may play separately further down the line, we still keep the group chat going so everybody knows what is going on and is comfortable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just whilst discussing meets and mrs. potential desire for a one on one again...
She mentioned that the thought of an affair or role play, as such, might be fun
Not entirely sure hiwe that would work though, nor if I'm 100% happy with the idea and if I should be worried?
Personally, if she does meet one on one it's the opposite that I would like and regular updates, pictures etc.
We're still finding our feet in the lifestyle though and maybe this is just another dynamic?"
It sounds like she wants to try meeting someone without your participation or knowledge.
This is a kink that some cucks would love, their wife taking full control of her own desires. It may only be role-playing for her as she would have every intention of confessing all after the event.
However, if this is not something that even interests you in the slightest then it stops being role-playing and would be reality. Sometimes we can't try all our fantasies as our partner would be turned off, repulsed or hurt by the scenario. Its fine to share these ideas but not all fantasies can become reality.
In our case we would love to have a bareback group session. But it will not happen ever as neither of us actually want to take that risk. So we just fantasise about it together.
Some fantasies remain just that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I let my wife Tej meet one to one several times but at our home only and only the ONCE. That was about 23/25 years ago when hardly any internet/mobiles so little chance of them carrying on. IMO she is looking for a new man. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Agree with what everyone has said about talking and not doing anything you are uncomfortable with. Since you don't enjoy cuck fantasies you might try framing it as a Hotwife scenario? That is where the man is proud of how sexy his partner is and turned on by the fact she likes to dress hot and flirt with other men. The Hotwife in turn gets pleasure from arousing her man, and part of that is making sure he is aware of what is going, inckuding sharing pics/videos to arouse him. Such a scenario seems to address both of your needs. I love being a Hotwife and my hubby is very encouraging....he knows I wouldn't do anything behind his back and I can get up to all sorts of kinky fun which satisfies our respective fantasies. Good luck, and remember, you both have to be in agreement otherwise it will never work in the long run. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We very occasionally will meet single guys but due to most of the things you mentioned it's rare!! They all just address me but I won't under ant circumstances play separately with single men!!
I appreciate how tough it is because I get a lot more attention than C does. We've been here a few months now and things are only just starting to pick up a bit! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
An affair involves lying and cheating to the person you supposedly love. Is it possible that this is a "lost in translation" suggestion by her? Have you discussed polyamory? Sounds like she is interested in emotionally engaging with someone else - that can happen organically in the swingscene, but not sure it is someone one would normally seek out unless needs (emotional) weren't being met at home.... Sounds like you need to have a really open conversation. Soon. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me I really enjoy my wife going with another guy without me, the excitement of wondering what they are doing until her return. Thats when I get to finally hear her recall the nights events while I have my fun, I find my wife is far more adventurous than when with me.
At first she found it strange and it took some time for her to relax with the situation, but it works for us both and that's what you have to sort out, good luck and enjoy the journey. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
and she wouldn't unless we both agreed, so not really an issue... as much trying to get my head round the dynamics of such a scenario. And if I can I like to make her happy 