 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm generally fine meeting one-to-one. Fab encounters have helped a lot with this!
However with 2 or more people my social anxiety still shoots up to the point where it's barely worth meeting. The feeling of inadequacy following these encounters impacts negatively on my mental well-being
Can anyone relate? I'm more just venting here, but also welcome any advice
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm surprised as in your profile you state that you're looking for couples and you like to take the lead. That comes across as being quite confident to anyone reading that bit.
Has this anxiety been an issue for quite some time or just recently ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm surprised as in your profile you state that you're looking for couples and you like to take the lead. That comes across as being quite confident to anyone reading that bit.
Has this anxiety been an issue for quite some time or just recently ?
"
I am looking for couples (even though I find it difficult) and I'm confident enough in the bedroom.
I just struggle to follow conversations when in group settings.
I've always had anxiety, although it tends to come in cycles. It's a lot better now than it used to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can relate. Tbh it's one of those things with no simple fix, working on your psychological issues sort of thing. I don't say this unkindly. I've been there myself. "
Thanks. Yeah I definitely have some work to do! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Suffer from the same although oddly have found that in clubs it has been easier to chat to people  "
I've considered clubs - but unfortunately none in my area |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago
North West |
I have social anxiety. I’d find meeting a couple of people easier than a club. For me as I have ptsd it’s the lots of conversations going on. My hearing is very sensitive so tend to pick everything up. It just batters my head when there’s too much going on.
Just take baby steps. Do what’s right for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have social anxiety. I’d find meeting a couple of people easier than a club. For me as I have ptsd it’s the lots of conversations going on. My hearing is very sensitive so tend to pick everything up. It just batters my head when there’s too much going on.
Just take baby steps. Do what’s right for you. "
This is exactly how I feel. Too much conversation going on around me feels overwhelming at times! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I have the same problem - I have a lot trouble picking out one conversation in a noisy environment. That's why I'm in the club hot tub so often. It's a chance to rest the listening parts of my brain.
Social anxiety is a problem too. For me, the club has helped a lot. It's a regular opportunity to practice being with people, with the accompanying reassurance that nothing bad happens.
Mine seems to have originated in feeling of not belonging, that everyone else did belong, and being unable to mentally rehearse unfamiliar social situations. The reality is that many people are in the same situation, and nothing bad will happen if you just do it. Everyone's winging it to some extent.
Repeated reminders of this, plus forcing myself into social events, has helped a lot. I still get terrible anxiety, and it sometimes pushes me into a 'safe' corner. But I am getting better. With enough work it is possible to overcome.
It does help that I have a long (professional) relationship with a good psychologist. If it's negatively affecting your life, don't be scared of asking for help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have the same problem - I have a lot trouble picking out one conversation in a noisy environment. That's why I'm in the club hot tub so often. It's a chance to rest the listening parts of my brain.
Social anxiety is a problem too. For me, the club has helped a lot. It's a regular opportunity to practice being with people, with the accompanying reassurance that nothing bad happens.
Mine seems to have originated in feeling of not belonging, that everyone else did belong, and being unable to mentally rehearse unfamiliar social situations. The reality is that many people are in the same situation, and nothing bad will happen if you just do it. Everyone's winging it to some extent.
Repeated reminders of this, plus forcing myself into social events, has helped a lot. I still get terrible anxiety, and it sometimes pushes me into a 'safe' corner. But I am getting better. With enough work it is possible to overcome.
It does help that I have a long (professional) relationship with a good psychologist. If it's negatively affecting your life, don't be scared of asking for help."
Thanks for sharing this 
My plan is to join a few social groups - which will hopefully help me out when speaking in groups.
As far as a psychologist goes, I may look into this if things don't improve over the next 6-momths or so
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
