FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Outside of clubs
Outside of clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think |
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Just as hard in clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love a club vibe, the relaxed liberated atmoshphere makes it easier to read people.
I have a very special friend I met through the club, I would not of ever met him otherwise. |
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"Ahh I find it a lot easier. Don't get me wrong I have been to some nights where it's 50 guys to every girl but that's still better odds than on here"
I guess the odds are better for all but it's not a guarantee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Don't think for one minute it is easier in a club.
If people say no on here, it is the same there in the main, especially if you think a bit of charm will help.
Behaving naturally is always best every time. You might get lucky you might not.
Make sure you go without any expectations at all.
Again, many single guys think their expensive admission fee guarantees them sex. It doesn't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I agree. And also you know when there's chemistry. I find it so hard to gauge whether I will actually be attracted to a woman on here. Camera angles, keyboard warriors and veris can be deceiving.
No hiding when you're face to face |
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Not at all, I find Fab is far easier to meet ladies and couples, than ‘pulling on my big boy pants’ and visiting clubs in person.
To be fair, what I’ve noticed is; if you live within easy reach of a club (say 30 mins drive), then people are more likely to use a club regularly, and put less effort in to using Fab 
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"Yeah bet me being in a city and you being in the lakes gives us two completely different experiences of the same thing"
Exactly mate! It’s easy for me to feel like an outsider and a club feeling ‘cliquey’ because I’m not a local and usually one of many single guys mulling around.
Just bear in mind, before messaging someone through Fab, to check their veris first. If the bulk of their veris are “Met in a club.....” then trying to arrange a private meet is likely to fall on deaf ears 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
where does the mind come into clubs it's a visual theme unless you go every week for a period and same people are there  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Come to my birthday party at Chams |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Come to my birthday party at Chams "
do I have to buy a present? Oh and can you get me in free? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's really hard work on here - so much easier to go to a club as a single woman. I've got to say I probably use here to keep in touch with people I've met in a club. |
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I have found that so many people on here are flirting when they're horny and then when it comes to meeting, they are washing their hair. Also, SO many pics are filtered, flattering angles or 10 years old and when you meet face to face, you're looking at a stranger!
I'd rather meet at parties or clubs. At least, what you see is what you get and you can tell straight away if there's an attraction.
If it wasn't for the club, I wouldn't use online swinger sites at all
Vic x |
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"I have found that so many people on here are flirting when they're horny and then when it comes to meeting, they are washing their hair. Also, SO many pics are filtered, flattering angles or 10 years old and when you meet face to face, you're looking at a stranger!
I'd rather meet at parties or clubs. At least, what you see is what you get and you can tell straight away if there's an attraction.
If it wasn't for the club, I wouldn't use online swinger sites at all
Vic x"
Well said. We saw a Lady off here in a club and she looked very different (very filtered pics) and actually unhappy. A club is a good night out anyway even if you don’t play |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
When going to a club I tend to go to have a good time and anything else is a bonus.I do find it easier in a club as by just saying hello , how are you you are likely to get a conversation started which can lead onto other things or other club members can see you have social skills.Where as on Fabs I can send messages with little response. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"It's really hard work on here - so much easier to go to a club as a single woman. I've got to say I probably use here to keep in touch with people I've met in a club."
The vast majority of the people I know on here I first met in a club. Although I have to make a conscious effort to put aside natural shyness with strangers, I do generally find it easier in a club. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"I have found that so many people on here are flirting when they're horny and then when it comes to meeting, they are washing their hair. Also, SO many pics are filtered, flattering angles or 10 years old and when you meet face to face, you're looking at a stranger!
I'd rather meet at parties or clubs. At least, what you see is what you get and you can tell straight away if there's an attraction.
If it wasn't for the club, I wouldn't use online swinger sites at all
Vic x"
Yes, couldn't have said that any better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I feel the same. Even met people that deleted my message on here but then when I met them in person at a club were a lot friendlier "
Lol
One of my best friends on here I messaged nearly 7 years ago on here and she deleted my message without responding. Then met me in a club and since then we have had awesome fun both in and out of the bedroom.
The only guy I met from here is also one of my closest friends. That was again 7 years ago.
The majority of people who I am friends with on here was due to the club's and then moving it to socials followed by BBQ's golfing or just hanging out.
Where as in the vanilla world I find you loose touch with friends as their lives evolve I find I make new friends on the scene as we are all on a similar wavelength. |
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Yep that’s what we do now. Given up on meeting people on Fab now. No one seems interested |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Come to my birthday party at Chams do I have to buy a present? Oh and can you get me in free? "
If I don't even get in free I'm not going to try and get you in for free!  |
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"NO clubs local but living in extreme beauty or clubs and have the industrial wasteland to look at.... Tough choice"
Thank you my friend!  And we’re nicely back to Square 1; no clubs locally, and people put more effort in to using Fab to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Yep that’s what we do now. Given up on meeting people on Fab now. No one seems interested "
We find the same. If you have any sort of preferences and are a bit older then Fab is useless. Haven’t been to a club as we wouldn’t attend one in our home town but we intend to travel to a club in the autumn. We really really hope they’re better than Fab. |
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Yep that’s what we do now. Given up on meeting people on Fab now. No one seems interested
We find the same. If you have any sort of preferences and are a bit older then Fab is useless. Haven’t been to a club as we wouldn’t attend one in our home town but we intend to travel to a club in the autumn. We really really hope they’re better than Fab. "
Read the reviews and check their websites out. There’s some great ones about (but also some not so great ones!) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Yep that’s what we do now. Given up on meeting people on Fab now. No one seems interested
We find the same. If you have any sort of preferences and are a bit older then Fab is useless. Haven’t been to a club as we wouldn’t attend one in our home town but we intend to travel to a club in the autumn. We really really hope they’re better than Fab.
Read the reviews and check their websites out. There’s some great ones about (but also some not so great ones!) x"
Yes we think first experience of a club is very important. If you go to the wrong club it could put you of the experience for life. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
See we find it hard both in clubs and on here. We went to xtasia and only about 6 people spoke and no one was playing. We don't find it so bad at our local party but the other club we visited barely anyone spoke.
Also just as bad on here people either chat and vanish or look and don't wink/message or reply to winks/messages. Maybe it's just us. Maybe we need a profile revamp or something |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Clubs and party’s are a lot easier for us as we are out of some people’s age range and we tend to be attracted to people a little younger than ourselves, in a club they don’t even ask our age but we do only tend to go on party nights when we know it will be busy |
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"See we find it hard both in clubs and on here. We went to xtasia and only about 6 people spoke and no one was playing. We don't find it so bad at our local party but the other club we visited barely anyone spoke.
Also just as bad on here people either chat and vanish or look and don't wink/message or reply to winks/messages. Maybe it's just us. Maybe we need a profile revamp or something "
this happens to us all the time ppl just stop talking.wev had some very nice women say they're up for meeting but when we are free none of them seem to be same sort of thing happened when we went to xtasia lol and decs.but we carry on in hope lol |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"See we find it hard both in clubs and on here. We went to xtasia and only about 6 people spoke and no one was playing. We don't find it so bad at our local party but the other club we visited barely anyone spoke.
Also just as bad on here people either chat and vanish or look and don't wink/message or reply to winks/messages. Maybe it's just us. Maybe we need a profile revamp or something
this happens to us all the time ppl just stop talking.wev had some very nice women say they're up for meeting but when we are free none of them seem to be same sort of thing happened when we went to xtasia lol and decs.but we carry on in hope lol "
It just gets frustrating sometimes haha. Especially as we have to plan free time in advance because of childcare, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have met most of our play friends initially via this site, clubs are very hit and miss and we tend to like the variety of different clubs, so have never become part of a club clique |
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"See we find it hard both in clubs and on here. We went to xtasia and only about 6 people spoke and no one was playing. We don't find it so bad at our local party but the other club we visited barely anyone spoke.
Also just as bad on here people either chat and vanish or look and don't wink/message or reply to winks/messages. Maybe it's just us. Maybe we need a profile revamp or something
this happens to us all the time ppl just stop talking.wev had some very nice women say they're up for meeting but when we are free none of them seem to be same sort of thing happened when we went to xtasia lol and decs.but we carry on in hope lol
It just gets frustrating sometimes haha. Especially as we have to plan free time in advance because of childcare, etc. "
Same here it's hard enough trying to get time to ourselves and had our time wasted on lots of occasions. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"We have met most of our play friends initially via this site, clubs are very hit and miss and we tend to like the variety of different clubs, so have never become part of a club clique"
To get to any clubs we've gotta travel and stay over night. So bit of a pain if no one speaks or we feel like we shouldn't be there. |
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think
Yep that’s what we do now. Given up on meeting people on Fab now. No one seems interested
We find the same. If you have any sort of preferences and are a bit older then Fab is useless. Haven’t been to a club as we wouldn’t attend one in our home town but we intend to travel to a club in the autumn. We really really hope they’re better than Fab.
Read the reviews and check their websites out. There’s some great ones about (but also some not so great ones!) x
Yes we think first experience of a club is very important. If you go to the wrong club it could put you of the experience for life. "
There’s no such thing as ‘the wrong club’, a great experience is down to who is there at the same time as you. I’ve visited several clubs (as a single guy so admittedly always on the ‘back foot’), on busy party nights, and quiet non-event nights. I’ve been ignored, avoided, blanked, rebuffed and barked at. But I’ve had a couple of great nights too Yes, it’s a lot of effort for me to get to a club, and yes, it’s hugely disappointing to come away thinking “Well I could’ve walked to the village pub and had a better time”, but a club night is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get........ And the village pub will still be there tomorrow...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To get to any clubs we've gotta travel and stay over night. So bit of a pain if no one speaks or we feel like we shouldn't be there. "
Hope you never feel like that! Just looked at your profile and I’d say you’d fit right in! Certainly you’d have a warm welcome at either of the clubs I’ve been too... admittedly they are a bit too northerly for you...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here 90% are just living in fantasy land where at a club it’s not dream world so the chances in engaging in some fun are much higher. "
This!!
This!!
The time wasters, fakers, last minute bottlers are automatically ed out just by going to club.
At least you know the people in the club are serious about winging, meeting and ultimately playing with others. This makes a huge difference.
As a couple it's much easier to meet people for play in a club than on fab in our experience anyways xx
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Yes the club is a total different ball game. Meeting people in the flesh is so different. At the club I find you meet people that you get on with and like, who from their profile of FAB you'd totally not be intrested in. And of course vice versa (to my disappointment). People's projection on FAB often seems different to how the are in real life. There's just no substitute for meeting people in real life if you want to get the measure for them. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Difficult to be a fake in a club though, so the spider senses you have to have here do not apply. All you need is a chat & a look to see if there is anything there to interest you.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The complete opposite for us
If we chat to a couple, arrange a private meet fairly quickly we all know what’s going to happen and how we all play
In a club you have to negotiate the socialites, non kissers, soft swap, girl on girl only, voyeurs, non mutual play, weird rule people before you can find nice players.
The numerous times were people have said on
here we are looking for:- watching only, no kissing, girl on girl only, FFM with other guy no interaction blah blah blah and guess what! People invariably say “go to a club” |
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"The complete opposite for us
If we chat to a couple, arrange a private meet fairly quickly we all know what’s going to happen and how we all play
In a club you have to negotiate the socialites, non kissers, soft swap, girl on girl only, voyeurs, non mutual play, weird rule people before you can find nice players.
The numerous times were people have said on
here we are looking for:- watching only, no kissing, girl on girl only, FFM with other guy no interaction blah blah blah and guess what! People invariably say “go to a club”"
You may need to choose an event that will suit you. If you want instant play, go to a play heavy event, if you want a gangbang, go to a gangbang event. No one is under any obligation to play in a club, and not everyone will want to play with you, so you will need to put some effort in to hooking up - same as you do on here in messaging people, except for this is fave to face conversation.
The point is, you’re in a club full of swingers. You don’t hook up in the bar? Go & play together. You could very well find people asking if they can join you. Go & watch. You may be invited to join in. You could even ask someone can you join them. The options are there!
I’ve been in an open play area several times when two or three couples have merged into a group.
The point is, you have options in a club that you do t in a meet. You know if the chemistry is there or not, you have other people there if your ‘meet’ is a no show or a let down, worst case scenario you have a good night out!
That’s not to say private meets don’t work - just that the effort is made before hand in a meet & on the nights at a club!  |
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To be fair, what I’ve noticed is; if you live within easy reach of a club (say 30 mins drive), then people are more likely to use a club regularly, and put less effort in to using Fab
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This is the problem I'm finding is that there's really only one club near me that has an OK rep and welcomes single men. And the nearest *good* one is 100 miles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty much exclusivley swing in clubs these days as I know I will have a great time both socially and sexually. As a result I have become somewhat cynical on here as there is a lot of wannabes and fantasists that just don't exist in clubland. Yes there are some decent people here too but it is a lot of effort to sort the wheat from the chaff. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Think you're pretty much on the money here. Both are effort but when at clubs I am doing something that I've done on a regular basis since I first started going out so feel more comfortable.
Find on here with the list of demands people have on their profile and the standard of what is expected of your profile, kinda puts me off. Then again, it would put me off in a club if I had to abide by a set of rules. I like to go with the flow and am pretty open minded so having rules takes the chemistry and spontaneity out of it for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else notice how much easier it is to meet similar minded people at clubs than on here? Not knocking fb but it seems like a look game one here… Messaging the right person at the right time. Where as in a club you can flex a bit of charm and not rely on how good you are at naked selfies.
Need to start going clubbing again I think"
Agree |
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"Think you're pretty much on the money here. Both are effort but when at clubs I am doing something that I've done on a regular basis since I first started going out so feel more comfortable.
Find on here with the list of demands people have on their profile and the standard of what is expected of your profile, kinda puts me off. Then again, it would put me off in a club if I had to abide by a set of rules. I like to go with the flow and am pretty open minded so having rules takes the chemistry and spontaneity out of it for me. "
Meeting like minded people for friendly fun, either in here, or in clubs, does indeed involve a bit of effort. But, being a single guy, you are limited to when you can visit a club. Then, when you are there, unless you have prearranged to meet someone inside, you are limited to who you can firstly chat with, and then potentially match with. In Fab, you can search dozens of profiles, at any time of day or night, filter out potentials to your hotlist, block all those you don’t match with, and message those who do float your boat.
There’s also the difference of cost; you can use Fab completely for free.
As you say you are an experienced club goer, you should be very well aware of the rules in clubs for single guys, for which the term ‘strict’ was never more applicable
A mixture of clubs and Fab is the way forward, it’s blinkered to put all your eggs in one basket |
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