FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Screening - Potential meets
Screening - Potential meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a couple we had decided that I (Mrs) does all the screening of couples since its totally up to the lady what goes on. On a few occasions that Mr comes online to have a look and gets chatting to people they always ask are you both there and he will honestly say Mrs is out. Yes I do go out to my twice a week boxing lesson, yes I do work evenings due to the industry I'm in and yes I do like spending time with my cronies. The people he has encountered had told him we don't believe you are a single man pretending to be a couple. I understand there is some kind of illness with single men who pretend to be couples or single ladies. So my dear husband gets the brunt of it when searching when I'm not home. Also when I do log onto any site with a cam option I do turn on the cam to verify that there is a real wife in the mix. The doubters who only days ago doubted my husbands honesty see me on cam have a bit of a second thought that they had doubted us. Our doubters will want to talk to us and make some kind of contact when they truly realise that there is a real wife on the scene.
To prevent this happening I'm the one who screens the couples or singles... So who in your household screens potential meets? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"my wife, but we decide together on meets etc"
That's how we work it too, we are attracted to the same kinds of women so he is happy and trusts my decisions on who we meet  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead"
That is a fair answer also but what if one of you is out and the other is in and wants to just have a look? |
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I have no one to help me, I do my own.
On a serious note I do meet couples and have always insisted that they are both happy with me and my presence.
I am not at all bi, so she has to be happy that I can provide what she wants, and he has to be happy with me doing it.
As for the Original Posters fella being suspected of being a single guy I am afraid its an occupation hazard of Fab as you say there are guys that pretend. (and ruin it for the rest of us).
Who is to say what is right and what is wrong in screening of meets and potential meets.
Do what works for you and if people dont like it, they can look elsewhere.
I am more than happy to chat to both parties in any couple from my point of view I need to be happy with both before anything happens.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have no one to help me, I do my own.
On a serious note I do meet couples and have always insisted that they are both happy with me and my presence.
I am not at all bi, so she has to be happy that I can provide what she wants, and he has to be happy with me doing it.
As for the Original Posters fella being suspected of being a single guy I am afraid its an occupation hazard of Fab as you say there are guys that pretend. (and ruin it for the rest of us).
Who is to say what is right and what is wrong in screening of meets and potential meets.
Do what works for you and if people dont like it, they can look elsewhere.
I am more than happy to chat to both parties in any couple from my point of view I need to be happy with both before anything happens.
"
Yes we are aware of the pathological lying of some men on sites which is silly because they will be found out one way or another. So why try to hoodwink people into thinking your a couple or a single lady. It's good that you are lucky enough to chat to all parties and they are happy with your company |
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do all the net stuff, not cos of screening but cos i like chat and the forums. We have friends where men are online more, others where the female is.
i dont think it matters, people who are willing to meet spot fakes, those who shout and make a fuss about a couple being fake because the man is online are not the sort we would want to meet, and in my experience are far more likely to not show up anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" do all the net stuff, not cos of screening but cos i like chat and the forums. We have friends where men are online more, others where the female is.
i dont think it matters, people who are willing to meet spot fakes, those who shout and make a fuss about a couple being fake because the man is online are not the sort we would want to meet, and in my experience are far more likely to not show up anyway."
Once they have an issue with my husband then we just ignore them but when they see it's a woman on the end of the cam after accusing him of being fake then they will want to have a chat. By then we already know their game and we tell them straight out why be rude the other day you didn't need to go that far.
As for using forums we try to include ourselves in it because we want to make new friends but it upto people if they want to befriend us |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"its mostly m online with us, and ive had a few not believe, but an early phone call with f sorts that out "
That always works a treat when a call sorts things out but when they don't even give him a chance then it's no possible |
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We know what you mean but wouldnt worry too much. puddleducks correct there are those who mainly use the forums and chatrooms part of the site for msn type friendship and banter a sort of adult twitter really. Then theres those that mainly stick to the business end the profiles and meet pages to arrange meeting , parties and club get togethers etc thats where you need to "screen" or "verify" take the forums for what they are light hearted , harmless fun you prob wont need to screen on there anyway as its just chatter  |
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" do all the net stuff, not cos of screening but cos i like chat and the forums. We have friends where men are online more, others where the female is.
i dont think it matters, people who are willing to meet spot fakes, those who shout and make a fuss about a couple being fake because the man is online are not the sort we would want to meet, and in my experience are far more likely to not show up anyway.
Once they have an issue with my husband then we just ignore them but when they see it's a woman on the end of the cam after accusing him of being fake then they will want to have a chat. By then we already know their game and we tell them straight out why be rude the other day you didn't need to go that far.
As for using forums we try to include ourselves in it because we want to make new friends but it upto people if they want to befriend us "
Its so funny when ppl go all nice once they meet u, i dont dress up to cam, and in my opinion am not very photogenic,its so funny when we meet couples who say "not for us"in here then follow me around with their tongues hanging out when they meet me in the flesh |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead
That is a fair answer also but what if one of you is out and the other is in and wants to just have a look? "
We wait until both of us are in to show faces on cam.
To the answer of who screens, I do the typing but the OH is sat next to me on his PC so can see whats being said, and then it becomes a joint decision as to wether we like the person or not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We know what you mean but wouldnt worry too much. puddleducks correct there are those who mainly use the forums and chatrooms part of the site for msn type friendship and banter a sort of adult twitter really. Then theres those that mainly stick to the business end the profiles and meet pages to arrange meeting , parties and club get togethers etc thats where you need to "screen" or "verify" take the forums for what they are light hearted , harmless fun you prob wont need to screen on there anyway as its just chatter "
I know forums are a lighthearted place, it's a meeting of minds and a place to voice concerns, share a joke or just randomly chat about stuff. That's the beauty of forums!
As for the screening thing this stuff happens to us every now and then... Out if curiosity I just wanted to see how others work it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmmmm funny isnt it how the fems get believed if they say other half is out etc but the guys dont.You dont need to prove yourself to any doubters hun and for the peeps who are rude to you then tell them to fook off.Sorry but it pee's me off when the genuine people on here get slated like yourseves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" do all the net stuff, not cos of screening but cos i like chat and the forums. We have friends where men are online more, others where the female is.
i dont think it matters, people who are willing to meet spot fakes, those who shout and make a fuss about a couple being fake because the man is online are not the sort we would want to meet, and in my experience are far more likely to not show up anyway.
Once they have an issue with my husband then we just ignore them but when they see it's a woman on the end of the cam after accusing him of being fake then they will want to have a chat. By then we already know their game and we tell them straight out why be rude the other day you didn't need to go that far.
As for using forums we try to include ourselves in it because we want to make new friends but it upto people if they want to befriend us
Its so funny when ppl go all nice once they meet u, i dont dress up to cam, and in my opinion am not very photogenic,its so funny when we meet couples who say "not for us"in here then follow me around with their tongues hanging out when they meet me in the flesh "
Lol that happens to us often... Especially with the exotic seekers they see that I'm something a bit strange or different and they know I exist then they go on some kind of blitzkrieg to try to get to know us by then we aren't interested. Its funny to us |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmmmmmm funny isnt it how the fems get believed if they say other half is out etc but the guys dont.You dont need to prove yourself to any doubters hun and for the peeps who are rude to you then tell them to fook off.Sorry but it pee's me off when the genuine people on here get slated like yourseves. "
That's why when Im home the cam goes on and they see what they have just dismissed wether they think I'm pretty or not is subject to the viewers opinions and taste... I do have a laugh when I tell them to jog on after seeing the truth x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good for you and yeah you are pretty.  "
Why thank you my lovely, and btw you are as your name sake describes. assertiveness is needed on these kinds of situations x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who is online to be fair.. But my Master will sometimes pick who and delete all evidence and I jsut get told to be ready
Kinda exciting but scary too..
I mostly do the screening and if I like them I then ask my Masters permission.. As Master then checks to see if I have missed anything..
Cali |
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Its me (Martin) that is on here the most, so I peruse profiles and sift the messages.
Jayne definately gets the final say on anyone I flag up that might be fun, but seeing as we tend to meet most of the people we play with at socials, its a joint decision.
In clubs and parties, where its more likely we bump into people we havent met at socials or seen online before, again its usually a joint thing, although if its a single male, obviously Jayne gets more of a say than I do, after all, she's going to be the one more heavily involved with him than I am lol!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead
That is a fair answer also but what if one of you is out and the other is in and wants to just have a look? "
Then we discuss it when we are both at home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Missed a bit off lol!
As for the "you is a fake" accusations because I am on here by myself, well, I just point them at our verifs.... 'nuff said really! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its good to see couples work together when choosing potentials to meet. Hubby has delegated the job to me since there less risks of people making assumptions. A phone call is always a good thing and I will turn on the cam when in the chat room so people can see the authenticity. Since finding fab the system here is a lot nicer people are much more real which is excellent! The last site we were on it was a nightmare even trying to get to speaking to people x |
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"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead
That is a fair answer also but what if one of you is out and the other is in and wants to just have a look? "
Then have a look? I'm not sure why you feel you have to answer to anyone else about who screens? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The reason why I answer everyone who posts is because it's actually nice to chat to like minded people hubby and I don't know many people on here so its nice to interact with people. Also we don't want to look like we have left it alone and all opinions no matter how bad or good is welcomed with an open mind. So if wrong or right for trying to be social well that's your feelings which is cool because that's how you feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its good to see couples work together when choosing potentials to meet. Hubby has delegated the job to me since there less risks of people making assumptions. A phone call is always a good thing and I will turn on the cam when in the chat room so people can see the authenticity. Since finding fab the system here is a lot nicer people are much more real which is excellent! The last site we were on it was a nightmare even trying to get to speaking to people x"
phone me anytime, i'm a verified heavy breather |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its good to see couples work together when choosing potentials to meet. Hubby has delegated the job to me since there less risks of people making assumptions. A phone call is always a good thing and I will turn on the cam when in the chat room so people can see the authenticity. Since finding fab the system here is a lot nicer people are much more real which is excellent! The last site we were on it was a nightmare even trying to get to speaking to people x
phone me anytime, i'm a verified heavy breather"
That is a "For the win" comment that's quality x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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On the other hand phones can be a bit shady at times I was reminded by hubby this couple we spoke too a few months back nice enough but weird to end with  |
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"The reason why I answer everyone who posts is because it's actually nice to chat to like minded people hubby and I don't know many people on here so its nice to interact with people. Also we don't want to look like we have left it alone and all opinions no matter how bad or good is welcomed with an open mind. So if wrong or right for trying to be social well that's your feelings which is cool because that's how you feel "
If i start a thread i try to answer every post, its good internet, and outside world manners,dont let ppl put you off posting, its been a really fab thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" do all the net stuff, not cos of screening but cos i like chat and the forums. We have friends where men are online more, others where the female is.
i dont think it matters, people who are willing to meet spot fakes, those who shout and make a fuss about a couple being fake because the man is online are not the sort we would want to meet, and in my experience are far more likely to not show up anyway."
i think this is true also those that go in with a negative attitude r likely to not end up turning up xx
but as a lady that goes on cam i sometimes wonder about guy parts of the couple who ask me to pm them about meeting especial as i only play with the female half and i know for some of u that makes me not a swinger but oh well my preference xxxx i normal just say inbox me as i am going to want to talk to wife partner as its her i will be playing with xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead
+1
"
Same here although I (Ms) do a bit more screening by talking to the other lady early and I've done a few more social meets. I'm more fickle than Mr so think he leaves me to it sometimes! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The reason why I answer everyone who posts is because it's actually nice to chat to like minded people hubby and I don't know many people on here so its nice to interact with people. Also we don't want to look like we have left it alone and all opinions no matter how bad or good is welcomed with an open mind. So if wrong or right for trying to be social well that's your feelings which is cool because that's how you feel "
the social side is nice and if u like the social side and good idea is to go to clubs on social nights as u can chat with no worry aboyt anything else unless the urge takes u x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't play with my OH, but I have had 3somes with my male fb.
I tend to let him decide for 2 reasons :
firstly, my sexual tastes are far wider than his
secondly, i have found if I choose or remark on someones good looks he will contradict and say not interested
so the trick has become, to leave enough pointers for him to choose the 'right' people lol
btw - we do not seek people from this site, but do have a joint profile elsewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes we are aware of the pathological lying of some men on sites which is silly because they will be found out one way or another. So why try to hoodwink people into thinking your a couple or a single lady. It's good that you are lucky enough to chat to all parties and they are happy with your company "
the reason they do it is to either collect pictures or because they know you wont talk to them if they were just on a single account. so they try to hook you in hoping something will still happen once you know your about to get let down and might just accept, i'd never see it working but must once or twice i guess lol
this problem your hubby has he should just say to them, look i know thats sometimes the case but its only because we havent been verified yet that you think that, and just get him to say that you will speak to their mrs on the phone once your back if everyone is interested to proove your genuine
after all thats hard to argue with, and speaking female to female is always going to give you a good idea how up for it she is and also proove themselves to be genuine also. if they wont do it then odds on somethings wrong or they wernt going to turn up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you go on cam, ask a few people to verify you as a couple seen on cam too, that will help you.
when i was on here as a couple we put a few shows on the cam and soon got verified, and when i was doing all the contacting i never really had the problem of people assuming i was a bloke on the profile alone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The reason why I answer everyone who posts is because it's actually nice to chat to like minded people hubby and I don't know many people on here so its nice to interact with people. Also we don't want to look like we have left it alone and all opinions no matter how bad or good is welcomed with an open mind. So if wrong or right for trying to be social well that's your feelings which is cool because that's how you feel
the social side is nice and if u like the social side and good idea is to go to clubs on social nights as u can chat with no worry aboyt anything else unless the urge takes u x
"
We are intending to go to clubs and actually meet people, my husband is a bit new to the scene so in breaking him in gently lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (Mercedes) usually screen meets but Benz is always kept in loop and I tell him all and we always discuss everything. We always meet for drinks only for first meet and that allows Benz and playmate to get to know each other better.
I have on a few occassions had a fe single guys question and doubt us but most catch on quickly that we are genuine.
If for any reason Benz or I didn't feel comfortable we would not meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The reason why I answer everyone who posts is because it's actually nice to chat to like minded people hubby and I don't know many people on here so its nice to interact with people. Also we don't want to look like we have left it alone and all opinions no matter how bad or good is welcomed with an open mind. So if wrong or right for trying to be social well that's your feelings which is cool because that's how you feel
If i start a thread i try to answer every post, its good internet, and outside world manners,dont let ppl put you off posting, its been a really fab thread "
So right on! Why bothering posting and not responding. Its always good manners to acknowledge people because you never know they may have a solution to what ever issue is posted. Also if someone said anything I didn't agree with I wouldn't take the stand point of banning them since everyone is entitled to an opinion on an open forum x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I seem to get on well with the guys but the missus takes one look at its a no haha
I am pretty good at sniffing out the fake 'wife is asleep' guys by getting them to give me shout when she is awake so we can chat. message gets deleted pretty quick and you never hear anything again - you cant go wrong with gut instinct (and I have a big gut).
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I seem to get on well with the guys but the missus takes one look at its a no haha
I am pretty good at sniffing out the fake 'wife is asleep' guys by getting them to give me shout when she is awake so we can chat. message gets deleted pretty quick and you never hear anything again - you cant go wrong with gut instinct (and I have a big gut).
"
Lol I love that wife is in bed asleep answer we seem to get that alot... I just say ok thanks bye. Always instinct comes into it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, I would be a doubter too until I knew for sure otherwise, but I would give people more than one opportunity to show they are a real couple.
Don't knock them just for being diligent! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do all the messaging (molly), he'll get involved if there's someone I like and we'll always discuss any potential meets. He still always reads any messages sent, and will point out anyone he likes if I've been in an extra picky mood and past them over. He's really not that fussy at all, so it just makes sense that way... or we'd end up in bed round the clock with a whole host of undesirables hehe x |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead"
Ditto
"Both of us - It's a 50/50 split and if either one of us has any doubts, nothing goes ahead"
Ditto
Disagree with OP. The lady does not totally say what goes on.
Generally I - Male respond to winks or messages. She always keeps abreast or responds herself. After initial contact and having seen,exchanged mugshots all have chat and go from there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi all
We have read this with interest as we are new to all this and thought we would put our view point.
This is what we have worked out in the short time we have been on here. Feel free to comment on it and give us any more tips.
We are a couple and we are here together, no secrets between us whatsoever.
We both have access to the site,both of us reply to messages etc.
We never delete messages (sent or received), unless we do it together.
Jane has the final say on who becomes friends and sees our pics this is because of a bad incident with a male posing as a couple and a picture collector.. 
We never send pics by email except to people we have met in person for the same reason.
We like to have phone contact early, where the ladies can chat, not a voice in the background, Too many excuses on that and we run a mile, again we were caught out but you learn quickly to spot them.
I (Pete) tend to be the one in the chat rooms and will say if Jane is there or not, I never lie about it, what is the point ? It will be found out at some time. Jane hates the chat rooms except if she knows people and then its usually by msn.
We both appear on cam on request, usually Jane is in the background anyway., though we are not into playing. (our choice)
We both decide if we will meet with people for a first social meet and base our joint decision to go further on that meet as people are different in person.
Like a lot of ladies, Jane is choosy and has the ultimate yay or nay say, god help anyone who tries to push her.
So far we have found it works but we learn something new everyday.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The male half of this couple does all the vetting. If he thinks someone is suitable he shows the profile and letters to the female half and if she likes the look and sound of them he gives them a number and then he speaks to them on the 'phone and reports back to her his impression of them. If she doesn't like the look and sound of them their 'application' goes no further.
He does sometimes wonder whether he should be paid for effectively being her P.A though..... |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"With us it is a 50/50 decision.
If in doubt, leave it out, that's our motto.
"
Agrees!
I spend more time online than Mr B but when it comes down to choosing who we meet, it's a joint decision.
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