FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Cheating

Cheating

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along?

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

How are you so sure it is him ? Does he have a face pic ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A full length picture including face for all to see so I know it is definitely him

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

Print it off and post it to her, she may not believe it but it might arouse her suspicion to his activities a little, if you openly tell her in my experience she may not thank you for it.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

Block and forget about it. There may be issues that you dont know about. She might be playing away too.

Dont get involved.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

whatever you do take a mine detector along! you are walking across a minefield! are you certain she doesnt know? do you actually know all about their relationship? Do you want to risk a friendship? She may not take kindly to you telling her! there are loads more questions to ask yourself, personally I would stay out of it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do the right thing and say nowt. You could get yourself into a whole world of hurt and may not come out smelling of roses I assure you.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Don't get involved, certainly don't send her his details anonymously

If you feel the need to do anything contact him and let him know.

How do you know he's cheating, how do you know someone hasn't stolen his pictures?

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? "

Its his business and his drama.

How do you know shes not aware?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need to do what feels right for you if you think you’ll feel guilty for not saying anything then you need to have that conversation with her, personally I’d not get involved

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Why do you have to tell her, why not him?

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

The messenger frequently cops it in these scenarios - a common end result is they stay together but neither will want anything to do with you again and your friendship will be over

If you go into the middle of this, and I can see from the friendship point of view why you’d want to, you need to do with eyes wide open and that it could blow up back on you and be accepting of that if it occurs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Friends are friends because you trust them with your secrets.

It's not your life so why do something that may harm the lives of others, and maybe even your friendship...

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By *lixir of lifeMan over a year ago

knob Creek

Keep your nose out !

I don’t condone cheating at all!!

It’s cowardly and self indulgent but I think you miss OP could come off worse if you open your mouth ..

The only thing you could do is message him on here stating you know his wife and see what he does x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *lex46TV/TS over a year ago

Near Wells

Stay away, block and forget.

When people know things others they can't unknow them if you see what I mean.

Try and carry on with your friendship.

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By *ert n BerylCouple over a year ago

middlesbrough

I would block him and forget about OP. Best not to get involved then you can’t get into any argument or anything.

Let him do his thing and you enjoy doing yours. Stay safe xx

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By *astyEricMan over a year ago

Hull

"Block and forget about it. There may be issues that you dont know about. She might be playing away too.

Dont get involved."

That

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By *BWarksCouple over a year ago

warwick

Don’t get involved, it’s not your business

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Respect their right to privacy as you would want people to respect yours.

We have come across profiles of people we know, had a quick nosey and then blocked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is tough call for the OP - but one full of issues;

We come on sites like these for one reason really - sex - and we'd be fools to deny that, and by the fact he has posted a full length picture, could mean he is a bit dim or most likely your friends might be on here together and she has a profile somewhere.

My Ex and I played for many years on here and elsewhere before we split up and bumped into near neighbours and social friends a few times at our arranged meetings, we tended to just say nothing and greet them like others we had invited, after all they are adults playing in an adult world.

There is one other point though, they might have other issues, which drive him to use the site

Maybe you just need to take a deep breath and either block his profile or if you are happy about your reasons for being here, then confront him

Either way, be careful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Strong morals in this thread - Not.

It’s your friend...not a random neighbour. Message him that you know he’s married/in a relationship. His reaction to this will let you know if his partner is aware.

If you were my friend and never told me, you’d be out the door as quick as my “partner”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would leave it we have been in this exact position just blocked them not worth the risk being exposed yourself he could do it out of anger when he finds out how she found out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out "

Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot.

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. "

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

Move along ... not your business

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. "
It's like somebody else said they could both be on here with separate profiles, people cheat it's a fact of life and many people here cheat it's their business not ours, if the Op tells her friend and the couple end up divorced that friend won't thank her for it, plus that friend will also know the Ops a swinger to not such a big deal to us but maybe for her

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. "

no one is condoning it! but also no one knows the whole story! not even the OP! how do we know its not "permitted?" or that the friend hasnt got a single profile too? all most are saying is the op likely to loose a friend, in 99% of cases the woman forgives the man and shuns the friend! its not black and white and there are 100 answers to the same problem they all could be the right one!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to.

ok.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. It's like somebody else said they could both be on here with separate profiles, people cheat it's a fact of life and many people here cheat it's their business not ours, if the Op tells her friend and the couple end up divorced that friend won't thank her for it, plus that friend will also know the Ops a swinger to not such a big deal to us but maybe for her "

If the op is single, she’s not a swinger. Being on here is no different to being on tinder for someone single.

If she ends up divorced through the information given then that’s her decision. I’m sure that she’ll have more trust and respect in her friend for telling her than not though.

Also, how can you sit back knowing your friends partner is cheating on them without their knowledge? That’s not friendship, it makes you the same villain as the one committing the act.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to.

Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/06/19 13:04:27]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

If the op is single, she’s not a swinger. Being on here is no different to being on tinder for someone single.

If she ends up divorced through the information given then that’s her decision. I’m sure that she’ll have more trust and respect in her friend for telling her than not though.

Also, how can you sit back knowing your friends partner is cheating on them without their knowledge? That’s not friendship, it makes you the same villain as the one committing the act. "
but and this is the thing ' she doesn't know he's cheating ' it's assumption at the moment

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other."

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to.

Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude. "

How is it rude? You’re rude simply for calling me rude without a reasoning for me being rude.

When someone gives a question to a question, that is called arguing. It’s a common tactic among politicians. This is why nothing runs well in society anymore, we question questions instead of giving answers.

I think that we can deduce from the fact that, there’s nothing in the bio of the man about being part of a couple that he’s here to cheat. The op asked for advice, she never asked “what ifs”.

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By *ortland51Man over a year ago

Glasgow

Full face picture for someone on here would suggest to me he is either here with permission, or is just too stupid to think he will get caught.

Many married people cheating on here will have completely anonymous profiles with misleading information to try and reduce the chances of getting caught. They almost always do in the end though.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

I see that you never read my post then....typical. I said in my previous message what you’d do, and you did not disappoint.

Just to clarify: I said that she should mention to him on here first. Going from there, she can better gauge if he’s here with permission or not....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like most fab single men, he's not likely to get a meet and probably just here for a wank over our photos (feel free to wank over mine)

He will probably be unlos in a week.

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By *ortland51Man over a year ago

Glasgow

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

That's a good point, and with social media these days, you can pretty much find out who anyone is very easily and take whatever photos you want from it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One question to ask.

Do you know he is doing it behind her back.

A full face pic is normally a sign it’s ok. ( or he is stupid )

Himself was reported to me as being on here on his personal profile. And I knew. I encouraged it. I picked the pictures as well.

You may risk your friendship for nothing

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

exactly right surely if she wants to confront someone confront the male!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One question to ask.

Do you know he is doing it behind her back.

A full face pic is normally a sign it’s ok. ( or he is stupid )

Himself was reported to me as being on here on his personal profile. And I knew. I encouraged it. I picked the pictures as well.

You may risk your friendship for nothing"

If his partner knows, there is zero risk. It would solidify her trust more in her friend. Whereas, if he does have permission and, the guy recognises the op and tells his partner. She’d know that her friend isn’t one to trust.

Jesus, Socrates and Plato would fall upon their own swords in this day and age. Absolutely no backbone or respect for anyone.

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By *udistnorthantsMan over a year ago

Desborough

Block and ignore. It's none of your business to get involved in OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One question to ask.

Do you know he is doing it behind her back.

A full face pic is normally a sign it’s ok. ( or he is stupid )

Himself was reported to me as being on here on his personal profile. And I knew. I encouraged it. I picked the pictures as well.

It’s also about if you are happy sharing that guy are in this lifestyle.

You may risk your friendship for nothing

Jesus, Socrates and Plato would fall upon their own swords in this day and age. Absolutely no backbone or respect for anyone. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do nothing, it's not your business.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So a little bit more information since I put this up. His profile doesn't not mention a partner or playing with permission and he has since changed his pics to friends only so I can only assume he was dumb to begin with. I am certain it is his and his photos have not been stolen as he is showing up in my local updates which would fit where they live. Having known this girl a long time and previously had her living with me I don't believe she would have given permission to this. However, now the pics are private I have no proof. I am doing nothing wrong in being on here as I am single, however this person knows my family etc and if things turned bitter I wouldn't want them to be hurt by this. I think I'm just gonna stay out of it but when I see her next just causally drop the swingers topic and see her reaction. I don't want to see her hurt and she has 2 kids so I don't want to possibly break up a happy home but I also don't want to be considered as condoning his behaviour.

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By *ock-a-doodledooMan over a year ago

Grimsby ish

If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my opinion stay away, block and move on.. it's none of your concern and you dont even know their circumstances or arrangements at all..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block him.

It's none of your business.

As you say, she's not aware you're on here so how do you know she's not aware of his profile and ok with it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In my opinion stay away, block and move on.. it's none of your concern and you dont even know their circumstances or arrangements at all.."

Totally agree with this

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By *ab femWoman over a year ago

Ayrshire

If she was a really good friend I would message him making it clear I know who he is and that he's married and hope it scares him off cheating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

What proof does she have that he's cheating?

You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to.

Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude. "

Hes not being rude you plonker.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How close are you with the friend? If it was a friend I really cared about then I couldn't stand by and keep something from her that she might not know about that could really hurt her.

If it's just a friend you're not close with then I'd keep my mouth

shut and block him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's easy for people to say to stay out of it, but for me it Would depend on my friendship with that person. If they were a close and trusted friend, I couldn't not say something. Friends are supposed to look out for each other. I wouldn't go to her first though, as i would not know the whole story. She may know, especially as he has a full face pic up. Or he may just be chatting, with no intention of meeting (I know a few who have no interest in meeting on here), given he's not verified. I'd approach him first.

Holly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Discretion is paramount on this site. It might be your friend, partner, spouse, mother, boss, great aunt but whoever it is we all have a valid reason for not telling that person about our fab activities. My advice is to to say nothing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You walk into a pub. Your friend's partner is in there with another woman. What do you do?

Just because it is on fab doesn't make different rules apply.

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

As if hes going to tell the truth ?

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home."

Love how ppl come up with the problem at home shit like it's her making him cheat really boils my water x

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"Block him.

It's none of your business.

As you say, she's not aware you're on here so how do you know she's not aware of his profile and ok with it? "
if shes aware then there is no harm done is there ? But do agree I would speak to him first ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All depends on what you believe to be best, what you would want if the situation was reversed and how good your relationship is with her!

Personally I wouldn't forgive anyone that didn't tell me because we wouldn't be friends in the first place! But no-one wants to know what I told my bestie ... because if what I thought became fact I would never have been able to live with myself!

It's your conscience you have to live with ... no-one on here's

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All depends on what you believe to be best, what you would want if the situation was reversed and how good your relationship is with her!

It's your conscience you have to live with ... no-one on here's

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"You walk into a pub. Your friend's partner is in there with another woman. What do you do?

Just because it is on fab doesn't make different rules apply. "

Exactly this. I’d never forgive my “friends” if they knew my partner was cheating on me and they didn’t say anything. They wouldn’t be my friends for very much longer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tbh there is a high possibility he has seen this thread and recognised you

We've all seen these types of situations within forums

Never ends well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tbh there is a high possibility he has seen this thread and recognised you

We've all seen these types of situations within forums

Never ends well

I’m guessing that he has as - he’s made his images private.

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By *hunderstruckMan over a year ago

Northampton

If she’s that good a friend wouldn’t you confide in her about your lifestyle choice ( being on here yourself ) she wouldn’t judge you !

How deep is your friendship ?

Or Is she just a work colleague /friend ?

They would all add to the outcome of whether you interfere or leave alone !

Has he noticed you on here too ?

Has he been in touch ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tbh there is a high possibility he has seen this thread and recognised you

We've all seen these types of situations within forums

Never ends well

I’m guessing that he has as - he’s made his images private. "

Well.. it will play out one way or another

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By *urveykittyWoman over a year ago

west sussex area

I'd say it depends on the friendship and the individual situation. Maybe have a coffee and mention that situation but say it involves a friend and see how she reacts to the do I tell her or not question. If she says butt out, stay quiet. If she says she'd want to know then break it to them. Unless you already know if they'd want to know or not that is. Personally, I'd prefer to be told

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By *elrose57Couple over a year ago

reading

don't get involved it will come back to hit you, after all how many messengers have been shot, its up to them, and there is a chance she will find out about your life style on here and let others know, let sleeping dogs lye

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It has absolutely nothing to do with you O.P. Whether you know him, her or both..... non of us are here to be judged. You’re making a whole lot of assumptions based on nothing....... walk on by and control your own life not someone else’s.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

Contact him without revealing who you are, and see where it goes.

If he still says he's a single guy up for a meet, then you will have all the questions answered...after that, it's down to your conscience.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

There could also be a number of reasons for hom to be on here.

Maybe she's off sex and suggested he finds it elsewhere.

Maybe it's her fantasy.

I would say that it may not be the best thing to say something at this point. Maybe chat with your friend and check that everything is ok with her life & relationship?

Cal

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Move along, it's none of your business.

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By *attooedBBWWoman over a year ago

Basingstoke

Firstly, people often use other people’s pictures as their own so I would probably step with caution.

Although I’m a HUGE advocate for honesty and think that cheating as a form of deceit is disgusting, it’s also a very dangerous place to put yourself in outing him.

I’d approach him first and see what he says then decide next steps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Keep your nose out !

I don’t condone cheating at all!!

It’s cowardly and self indulgent but I think you miss OP could come off worse if you open your mouth ..

The only thing you could do is message him on here stating you know his wife and see what he does x"

I agree let him know you know as you maybe the one that gets disliked for just trying to be there for a friend. If someone has to cheat there is something broken.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"Move along, it's none of your business. "

Whilst move along is a valid option, I disagree it's none of her business.

Its her business as she is a friend.

If a friend was being conned financially or subject to slanderous comments by others would everyone here still suggest that the best action is to not make their friend aware?

What if he catches an std eg hiv and passes that on to his partner, how shit would that friend feel for not intervening.

Like I said at the start doing nothing is an option, but it is still a choice with consequences attached.

Once you have information there is always a judgement and a decision to make about what you do with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couple of options, block and ignore or tell the other half!

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"You walk into a pub. Your friend's partner is in there with another woman. What do you do?

Just because it is on fab doesn't make different rules apply.

Exactly this. I’d never forgive my “friends” if they knew my partner was cheating on me and they didn’t say anything. They wouldn’t be my friends for very much longer."

And that’s a perfectly reasoned position

Unfortunately it’s also common in these settings that the friend bears the brunt and it’s ostracised by both parties for getting involved

You can’t go into these settings assuming they’re going to be grateful as you would be, there needs to be an assumption it could gone either way and be prepared for that when a decision to intervene is taken

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By *entleman JackMan over a year ago

Loughborough

Not your circus............

Not your monkeys!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Keep your nose out !

I don’t condone cheating at all!!

It’s cowardly and self indulgent but I think you miss OP could come off worse if you open your mouth ..

The only thing you could do is message him on here stating you know his wife and see what he does x

I agree let him know you know as you maybe the one that gets disliked for just trying to be there for a friend. If someone has to cheat there is something broken. "

Yes, it’s broken because one of the party is cheating, and the other likely unaware of anything being wrong. That’s why she should be told, and do with the information as she wishes.

People cheat due to them being opportunistic and deceitful. If they weren’t they’d talk as adults do and resolve it. They may even get permission, or end up on here together. Instead: most lie and cheat, leading to broken relationships and families.

You’d think that people would have learnt how things work in 2019....

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By *aisyDDWoman over a year ago

North West

I’m old school with my sense of loyalty. I’d rather tell my mate that I enjoy a little adult fun and that I’m on here and tell her. I’d rather lose a friend for a bit but know I’d not kept it from her.

My other option would be to arrange to meet him. He’ll learn his lesson quick enough

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By *appytochatMan over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Dont you just love it when the right song comes on the radio at the appropriate time

Sat reading the thread and Shaggy "it wasnt me" comes on

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By *appytochatMan over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Sorry a bit off topic. But made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally if it was me I'd talk to my friend even if it exposes my lifestyle. If hes on here with permission or they both swing she'll appreciate your honesty, if its without permission then she deserves the truth.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Sorry a bit off topic. But made me chuckle

It made me laugh too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Since he made his pictures hidden what did you decide to do in the end OP?

J K x

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"Contact him without revealing who you are, and see where it goes.

If he still says he's a single guy up for a meet, then you will have all the questions answered...after that, it's down to your conscience."

And...if you do decide to tell her, make sure you have the evidence to back it up, screenshot everything, and you could also do it anonymously.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it.

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By *orny andy yorkMan over a year ago

york

Just block him and forget about it . At the the end of the day hits not your buisness

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By *orny andy yorkMan over a year ago

york

[Removed by poster at 25/06/19 15:44:54]

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By *orny andy yorkMan over a year ago

york

All the people saying tell his wife why what good can that do no one knows what’s made him come on here just mind your own buisness

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. "

Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There could also be a number of reasons for hom to be on here.

Maybe she's off sex and suggested he finds it elsewhere.

Maybe it's her fantasy.

I would say that it may not be the best thing to say something at this point. Maybe chat with your friend and check that everything is ok with her life & relationship?

Cal"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s none of your business, you don’t know the dynamics of their relationship. If you do need to do something then approach him via a message on here saying you know who him and his partner and see what he says. ( be specific as some weirdos message they know when they actually don’t! )

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it.

Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her."

exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

good point, the messenger is always shot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the people saying tell his wife why what good can that do no one knows what’s made him come on here just mind your own buisness"

What good can telling her do? Maybe stop her from being made a mug of is a good place to start with reasons to tell her.

And who is to say he is even cheating on her anyway! She could know what he's up to and be absolutely fine with it. But if it's a close friend I care about then I owe her loyalty and I'd rather not see her be betrayed each day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No say nothing! Only 2 people know what their relationship is like,and thats them. There could be a number of reasons why he is on here. Its not good to judge others.

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By *orkshire.ladMan over a year ago

Yorkshire

If he isn’t verified I wouldn’t bother. Could be anyone using his photos and it could be any number of situations if it is actually him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if a good friend of yours suspected your partner was cheating would you not want them to say something to you? How would you feel when it came out two years later and your mate said "yes I knew about it all along."?

It comes down to how well you know this person and how close you are too them. I find the messenger rarely gets shot when it is between close friends. A casual aquaintance is different and would rightly tell you to mind your own business.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"No say nothing! Only 2 people know what their relationship is like,and thats them. There could be a number of reasons why he is on here. Its not good to judge others. "

Whose judging?

She is simply supplying information.

That can be done in a none judgemental manner.

Hey saw your fella on fabswingers the other day.

Simple to the point no judgement.

Clearly if she does not want to declare she is on fabswingers then that is what makes it difficult.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No say nothing! Only 2 people know what their relationship is like,and thats them. There could be a number of reasons why he is on here. Its not good to judge others.

Whose judging?

She is simply supplying information.

That can be done in a none judgemental manner.

Hey saw your fella on fabswingers the other day.

Simple to the point no judgement.

Clearly if she does not want to declare she is on fabswingers then that is what makes it difficult. "

I actually agree with this ^^^

If no-one who is saying say nothing has never been through or witnessed the horror of someone finding out their partner is cheating on them then I'm pleased because the world is a better place to be in than I thought. And yes I'm 51 but never cheated or been cheated on so am exceedingly blessed but I have witnessed the consquences many times. And met many a single, bitter person with the biggest chip ever who thinks the opposite sex are devil's spawn and unfortunately I have witnessed far to many people who so called adults have ruined their lives because they couldn't do without "their right to sex". So yes, tell ... don't tell, do whatever you think is right for your conscience but never ever take a fab forum thread seriously because WE are all coloured by our lives, circumstances and consciences not your own!

Good luck ... and be happy in your future

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?"

Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Arrange a meet with him, arrange a meet with said friend at same place and don't turn up.

How cool would that be lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block and forget about it. There may be issues that you dont know about. She might be playing away too.

Dont get involved."

This, precisely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would just mention to him, maybe he’s a bit dim and doesn’t realise all and sundry can see his face pic?

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

I'm just wondering were the difference between being a stranger and a friend is.

I recognise that we all have different relationships styles but to me part of being someones friend is to help them in ways I would not help a stranger.

Giving a friend information that you have seen their partner seems to be just the standard thing to have a conversation about.

"hey saw your other half at the park yesterday"

Saw your partner on TV the other day.

Was at the same burlesque show as your partner the other day.

Met your partner at the casino last night.

Saw them at the bar last night.

Why is it "saw them on fab" is the exception to the friendship rule?

Clearly if you want to not admit to going to a casino, burlesque show, pub, park or fab then this is a perfectly decent reason to not out yourself for doing any or all of these activities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship.

I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know.

If there was any hope for the relationship, they would have discussed it openly. To blatantly make a profile on a swingers website, (which includes face pictures) is blatant disrespect and, the relationship has no roots.

Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck.

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

This is the nature of FAbswingers OP best mind your own. Things always come to light in the end. I had the same situation a while back. She finally worked it out herself and kicked his cheating scum bag ass to the curb. Now she’s happier than she’s ever been and he’s a down and out living on the streets hahaha karma

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship.

I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know.

Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck."

You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me......

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"I would just mention to him, maybe he’s a bit dim and doesn’t realise all and sundry can see his face pic? "

So you'd help him cheat more effectively?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship.

I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know.

Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck.

You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me......

I am? I've had the back of my head split open with a brick. I've been stabbed and jumped by a group of 20. I think that I'm capable of making a judgement.

Are you, is the question?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always your business.

Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information.

Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?

I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship.

I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know.

Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck.

You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me......

I am? I've had the back of my head split open with a brick. I've been stabbed and jumped by a group of 20. I think that I'm capable of making a judgement.

Are you, is the question?

Explain what do you mean by that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone is different in how they would feel, you haven’t said how long they have been together, if they have children together etc very little to go on, I caught y cousins man out when she was on holiday in town with another woman, I dismissed it as something innocent but didn’t forget it, when she and he fell out over some woman and I quizzed her on it the description was the same woman, she said when didn’t know if there was anything in it was it all innocent etc and I admitted I had seen them out and felt slightly uncomfortable but had brushed it aside because I was d*unk and didn’t want to create drama where there might be none, she confronted him and he admitted they had been put together that night and he guessed it was me who said about it, guess who’s getting married and guess who never gets invited out at weekends anymore

Me personally I’d want to know, I’d rather be with someone I can trust and vice versa, but some folk are scared of being on their own or are quite happy to let little things slip, it’s never an easy choice but unfortunately I can’t hold my water and I usuallyalways end up being the bad one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can safely say and mean safely that I have not been a cheater or even thought or wanted to do such a thing to anyone. I have also not had friends that have cheated on each other as loyalty and respect was my era and my upbringing.

If I knew someone was cheating on a friend of mine I would have to tell them no matter what the consequences were I owe it to them as a friend to be honest and loyal if you cannot be that with a friend then you are no friend in my eyes. Sometimes though we can over think things but still it is important that we are honest with each other surely

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By *xplorer13Man over a year ago

glenrothes

Verify him ????

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By *xplorer13Man over a year ago

glenrothes

Verify him ????

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"Verify him ????"

Surely once is enough to know for sure.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. "

I am with you here on your answer.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

I am with you here on your answer. "

I don't condone cheating and I'm one of the people who said don't tell her. That's because I don't condone telling someone something you assume rather than know in the name of friendship. I also don't condone interfering in someone else's relationship unless they're in danger.

As I said before if in this situation someone feels they need to do something why not speak to the person with the profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block and forget.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out

Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs.

I am with you here on your answer.

As I said before if in this situation someone feels they need to do something why not speak to the person with the profile? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd say it depends on the friendship and the individual situation. Maybe have a coffee and mention that situation but say it involves a friend and see how she reacts to the do I tell her or not question. If she says butt out, stay quiet. If she says she'd want to know then break it to them. Unless you already know if they'd want to know or not that is. Personally, I'd prefer to be told"

I think this is a good way of going about it if you feel that you want to tell her. It all depends on your relationship with her, good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was cheated on

my first concern was .... what STI could I have

he could be putting her health at risk

does that change anyone's view on not telling her?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was cheated on

my first concern was .... what STI could I have

he could be putting her health at risk

does that change anyone's view on not telling her?"

That's a bit of a leap from a to z

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My cousins husband messaged me on here.. I didn't have any identifiable photos and I don't think he knew it was me.. I toyed with printing profile and posting to her etc etc.. in the end I blocked... she may know and turn a blind eye?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was cheated on

my first concern was .... what STI could I have

he could be putting her health at risk

does that change anyone's view on not telling her?"

Another “what if?” scenario.

What if he doesn’t have sex with partner.

What if he always uses protection and gets tested regularly.

What if he doesn’t have sex until he knows his clear.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I was cheated on

my first concern was .... what STI could I have

he could be putting her health at risk

does that change anyone's view on not telling her?"

No, I still say if you need to tell anyone, tell him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Strong morals in this thread - Not.

It’s your friend...not a random neighbour. Message him that you know he’s married/in a relationship. His reaction to this will let you know if his partner is aware.

If you were my friend and never told me, you’d be out the door as quick as my “partner”. "

This.

And if they are both on it then you'll also know by the reaction, and no harm will have been done.

Unfortunately too many condone the behaviour surrounding cheating. There are many couples profiles on here of cheats one or both. There are many singles who are cheating or have FB on here that are cheating. Too many are complisiant to this sort of this and think it's best just to ignore and turn a blind eye.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is determined as being in danger? Is it only physical or does emotional danger not that serious? What about her health from possible sexual disease or do most here only think about their own and not concerned about others.

There's various types of danger here in my opinion.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Block the profile.

Say nothing.

Don't make their business your business.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What is determined as being in danger? Is it only physical or does emotional danger not that serious? What about her health from possible sexual disease or do most here only think about their own and not concerned about others.

There's various types of danger here in my opinion."

Meddling is often quite dangerous too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don’t know their marriage. Close the door quietly on the drama and tiptoe away.

He’s not going to get magically infested by STIs, just like the rest of us aren’t.

Support her in real life. If she wants to confide then you can advise her with a slightly more informed view.

The messenger generally gets shot in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would be honest and tell her.

If you cannot do that -

I would create a new free email address and send her a link to the profile. I would say in the email is this your boyfriend?

As her friend you have to let her know. How would you feel if it was your boyfriend and your friend didn't let you know?

If she already knows about all well and good.

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home."

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?"

I'd say most would say yes, by default of saying, "they have needs and you're not walking in their shoes". It's the way most view it. They won't meet them if they knew however.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Firstly, people often use other people’s pictures as their own so I would probably step with caution.

Although I’m a HUGE advocate for honesty and think that cheating as a form of deceit is disgusting, it’s also a very dangerous place to put yourself in outing him.

I’d approach him first and see what he says then decide next steps"

If she confronts him he will delete his profile and deny everything.

If I was you OP I would keep screen shot his profile and pictures and save them.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?"

No I don't think so.

The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry. "

‘The perfect relationship’? You just don’t know what their deal is. Someone told me that she wished her marriage was like mine, the week after I finished our long, dead increasingly acrimonious relationship. Listen to her, but don’t think you know what’s going on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Print it off and post it to her, she may not believe it but it might arouse her suspicion to his activities a little, if you openly tell her in my experience she may not thank you for it."
thats such a nasty thing to do!!

No OP stay out of it it's not your concern.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it.

Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her.

exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x "

I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd either tell him you know his partner. Or say nothing. Up to how you see their relationship

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it.

Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her.

exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x

I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife."

Sounds like a threat though. I’d just tell my friend. I’m not into threatening cheats and allowing them to disappear to a different site before she’s caught him and kicked him out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As someone who has been cheated on several times, the best thing that happened was for someone to tell me. They did it annomysly but I had all the information and I chose to separate.

We were married and he was my absolute world, it hurt like hell however if he is cheating then tell her. You may find she already has her suspicions anyway as gut instinct. You don't have to tell her personally, make up a fake fb profile or something, if she knows he is on here already she will laugh about it, if she doesn't you may have saved her potentially years of her life dedicated to a cheat.

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By *eerobCouple over a year ago

solihull

Let her know somehow. If she is aware then no harm done, except she knows you are looking out for her. If she doesn't and he is openly doing this he deserves everything he gets as a result.

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other.

i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me

If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry.

She obviously thinks it is or she wouldn't be with him. X

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

[Removed by poster at 26/06/19 07:55:41]

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend"

I don’t think choosing not to tell makes anyone less of a friend, it’s based on our own experiences / preferences and knowing one’s friendship circle.

A friend of mine has made it crystal clear that she wouldn’t want to know if her other half was cheating as long as he kept it from their door & it didn’t interfere with their home life, which is the same as my view.

Maybe it’s all about having those type of conversations with mates to establish that instead of the “she’d wanna know because I would” assumption.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fa e it, he's a bloke on here, therefore isn't actually going to get anywhere.

Simples.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Relationships these days only really have a 10 year max shelf life if you're doing better than that you're doing really well , cheating is becoming almost the norm I wonder why this is, is it because the internet and sites say for example like this facilitate it? Either way it depends on the person that's being cheated on really as to how they would react on being told by said friend, you hear about women who rather than blame the husband blame the woman they are cheating with and how's that a reasonable reaction if the woman doesn't know he's married, suppose really their is no right or wrong way to deal with it, at some point it will all turn into the usual mess that relations coming to their end do. Do people men or women cheat just for sex I don't think so I think a lot of it is about affection and the closeness of another person being made to feel you're attractive and sexy and appeal to another person, this being the reason why relationships break down, communication has gone, affection has gone, you're parents rather than lovers, either way I personally wouldn’t get involved because that person may blame you for breaking up their marriage even though you're just the messenger.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/19 09:11:30]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is better to leave it as there is always two sides to a story, there could be a reason why he does it.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend"

The simple truth is that she saw a profile with his picture on it on fab. He is the one to be given this information. As I've said friendship to me anyway doesn't mean telling my friends what I assume their husbands are doing. If friendship genuinely mean that I've been doing it wrong my whole life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend

Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them.

This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 26/06/19 10:16:47]

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend

Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them.

This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE. "

Good morning, you are wise to trust no one, I trust very few people.

We will have to agree to disagree on where my responsibilities lie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge.

Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years.

Just a single guy here saying it as I see it.

Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her.

exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x

I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife.

Sounds like a threat though. I’d just tell my friend. I’m not into threatening cheats and allowing them to disappear to a different site before she’s caught him and kicked him out."

Another good point.. I hope I'm never in the position to choose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

totally agree with this poster. Trust is a very big issue for many of us. I trust my pets more than I do a human being because they lie and cheat, some do not though we are not all liars nor a cheater. I was bought up to tell no lies I have though been through a tough life and come out strong and I have a select few friends who I do not trust only person I trust is me. Plenty in my life who have betrayed my trust. Trust no one but yourself but for some people they cannot like I said it is a big issue and no not the magazine!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home.

If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?

No I don't think so.

She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth.

She saw his profile on fab.

It is for the friend to use that information.

What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime).

I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them.

Surely that just makes them aquaintences.

I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend

Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them.

This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE. "

agree with this poster

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

I would just say to him if any of them. Otherwise, stay well alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do you have to tell her, why not him?"

Exactly this! Interesting to see that much of the advice given from women, is to tell her, and from men and couples, is pretty much keep your beak out! We say the same, it’s none of your business, especially if she’s not the sort of friend that you’re prepared to open up to about your own exploits on here.

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Why do you have to tell her, why not him?

Why would you tell him? I don't understand that logic.

If he's the kind of guy who cheats, he's probably the kind of guy who would manipulate his partner into having nothing more to do with you.

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves:

How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business."

You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship.

The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough.

She now has depression, because she always wanted a family.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves:

How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business."

You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship.

The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough.

She now has depression, because she always wanted a family.

"
supposition though, some people view life as what if and some what's next

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves:

How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business."

You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship.

The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough.

She now has depression, because she always wanted a family.

OP says nothing about it being her best friend, but does mention she’s uncomfortable telling this friend (not her best one) that she’s on this site. Not worth the potential fall out in our opinion. Not condoning cheating at all, but your remarks about a man who cheats, also being a manipulator, skilled enough to convince said woman that it’s all bollocks, says a lot about the assumptions you make about men and her friend, which we presume you don’t actually know? She might be a lot stronger than you give her credit for. Also think that if he’s a cheater, then he’s just as much chance of giving her an sti from anyone else he may be cheating with, regardless of whether or not he’s cheating with someone on a swinging site.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves:

How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business."

You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship.

The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough.

She now has depression, because she always wanted a family.

Ok let me counter this with another situation inferred from one profile with one picture on fab.

What if she tells her friend her husband is cheating and the profile has been created by his colleagues as 'hilarious' prank or by some random who lifted his picture straight from Facebook. He has no way to prove it's not him and because her and her mate are besties and she trusts her more than him they divorce. Their many children are left without a father most of the week and he's devastated and deeply depressed.

All because someone thought they knew what was happening in someone else's marriage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Say nowt. Discretion is the name of the game, no matter how uncomfortable. Realistically, he’s a single Male so won’t be getting any anyway!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t say anything, don’t do anything other than carry on regardless. They could have an arrangement and she could be really embarrassed if you brought it up and loose your friend.

He may well be cheating but if that’s the case then so be it, it’s not for you to interfere, she may already be aware and it’ll come out anyway.

Never ever ever be the messenger in situations like this you will not be thanked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves:

How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business."

You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship.

The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough.

She now has depression, because she always wanted a family.

Ok let me counter this with another situation inferred from one profile with one picture on fab.

All because someone thought they knew what was happening in someone else's marriage"

No mention of cheating required. "I was suprised to see a profile on fabswingers with a picture of your partner". Statement of fact, no judgement.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It does depend on how good friends you are though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don’t say anything, don’t do anything other than carry on regardless. They could have an arrangement and she could be really embarrassed if you brought it up and loose your friend.

He may well be cheating but if that’s the case then so be it, it’s not for you to interfere, she may already be aware and it’ll come out anyway.

Never ever ever be the messenger in situations like this you will not be thanked. "

Easy to spot those indulging in adultery on threads such as these.

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