FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Depression and changing your life around
Depression and changing your life around
Jump to: Newest in thread
A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well said, my friend. Hope it works out for you. As in all walks of life, look for the things that matter and you are truly passionate about, and real people to share it with.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can relate to everything you have said, I've also struggled with depression. Most people on sites like this, and dating sites in general, are on them because they feel something is missing in their life. Some are lucky enough to find it online, but most are disappointed, left with lower self esteem. Sometimes you just need to step back, get back to reality and reassess your life. I agree with what you have said, if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I can relate to everything you have said, I've also struggled with depression. Most people on sites like this, and dating sites in general, are on them because they feel something is missing in their life. Some are lucky enough to find it online, but most are disappointed, left with lower self esteem. Sometimes you just need to step back, get back to reality and reassess your life. I agree with what you have said, if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be."
Exactly this 
It's hard sometimes so just have patience with yourself OP,
Av xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I use to get a bit down. In real life I wasnt use to rejection so when I first used this site it came as a shock. A few years on and now I do not really care. Its only sex. I'm at the age now when I have realised that enjoying life and being myself is more important than chasing a quick bonk. This site is fun and has lots of friendly, sexy and beautiful ladies but I do not take it to serious. Fab is Fab in small doses. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have no ties here and no real reason to hang around... I know full well I thrive in socialable places and situations but can't find alot going on where I am..
I don't take fab seriously either but thought I'd share this on here as I can imagine there are some that do and feel pretty down.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Good luck to you fella . You’ve answered most of your own problems in the post .
We are social animals , that thrive and are happiest in the company of others . You are so right to fill your life with all the real things . This means nothing nor does the rejection from people who also mean nothing . Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
"
Good for you - all the best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
"
I know exactly what you are saying, having suffered for many years.
I'm of an age where, something had to change, or I wouldnt be here.
I loaded up my car with everything I own, got on a ferry and away.
I wish you all the luck in the world op.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am surprised men let this site get to them so much, allowing it to destroy their confidence or turning to men in wigs on here in order to get sex or a verification. If it is not working get on in the real world to meet women, I am sure many of you will do better. Or just listen carefully to the advice women give about profiles.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I totally get what you have been through OP and it will resonate with many people including myself.it takes courage to break out and get back in charge of your life and you are finding it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"I am surprised men let this site get to them so much, allowing it to destroy their confidence or turning to men in wigs on here in order to get sex or a verification. If it is not working get on in the real world to meet women, I am sure many of you will do better. Or just listen carefully to the advice women give about profiles...."
Really supportive of you lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use to get a bit down. In real life I wasnt use to rejection so when I first used this site it came as a shock. A few years on and now I do not really care. Its only sex. I'm at the age now when I have realised that enjoying life and being myself is more important than chasing a quick bonk. This site is fun and has lots of friendly, sexy and beautiful ladies but I do not take it to serious. Fab is Fab in small doses."
Fully agree |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You are right in all you say,and a lot of my friends are feeling the same with middle age but the way you explained it is spot on.I try to please myself but kids are my tru love.Dont know if ivr known any other.Good luck an go fot it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Mate I know exactly what you mean, I was in A very similar situation a year or so ago. I was in a very very dark place and really in a bad way, I felt very alone and isolated. I even stooped low enough to attempt to take my own life, it was at that point that after being in hospital for a few days my oldest and closest friends (who had no idea how I felt) rallied round me and gave me so much help. I went off and worked away from home for 6 months, it gave me time to reflect on how I coped with life emotionally within my own head. I have to say taking some time away from the ‘norm’ was one of the best things I ever did. It certainly made a big difference to me and helped me get back on track and feel a lot, lot better.
I wish you all the luck in the world mate, I hope the break away will do you as much good as it did me. Please keep us informed as to how you’re doing & if you’d like to message me directly I’ll gladly help you along your journey if I can. Take care buddy!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can relate to some of the things here but to be really honest if your feeling so low fab is not the place for you ... its NSA sex hence uncomplicated sex I have also made some great friends here but fab is not the place to try boost confidence x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Almost universally sensible posts from the off: if only all of Fab could be so measured and thoughtful! Best of luck OP and follow your star: no shame in travelling without a map in your circumstances. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Good luck. Always a good idea to try something different. Yoi shouldn't worry about this website. There are a lot of damaged people around on it. Indeed, we've met more than our fair share! Have a good time.
Best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
"
You should not let this place get to you... I think it’s more hurtful when you are on dating site and they match you and end up costing you than on here when you really don’t know if other person finds you attractive and if you are saying the right thing
I was in very similar situation like you. I was very social and outgoing but last few years depression and anxiety have taken over and so many people have hurt me that I try to stay away and be very careful what people I’m letting close. I guess that’s why I enjoy swingers club experience so much So many nice, chatty and like minded people in one place
I have learned to truly enjoy my own company, travel on my own but there is times when I’m very sad that I can’t share intimacy and feelings with someone or times when you are unwell you are only one who can do shopping for yourself and bring that glass of water to your own sick bed I have dated some lovely guys but always failed as I have had really bad examples of how real relationships or family looks like.
Good luck to you to find right balance and right place and person for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
You should not let this place get to you... I think it’s more hurtful when you are on dating site and they match you and end up costing you than on here when you really don’t know if other person finds you attractive and if you are saying the right thing
I was in very similar situation like you. I was very social and outgoing but last few years depression and anxiety have taken over and so many people have hurt me that I try to stay away and be very careful what people I’m letting close. I guess that’s why I enjoy swingers club experience so much So many nice, chatty and like minded people in one place
I have learned to truly enjoy my own company, travel on my own but there is times when I’m very sad that I can’t share intimacy and feelings with someone or times when you are unwell you are only one who can do shopping for yourself and bring that glass of water to your own sick bed I have dated some lovely guys but always failed as I have had really bad examples of how real relationships or family looks like.
Good luck to you to find right balance and right place and person for you "
*ghosting not costing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I suffer with Anxiety etc you've just got to not let a site get to you. Not everyone will like you it's life! No one is everyone's cup of tea. But everyone has value! Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Again, some great messages, helpful advice and support...
None of this is to do with my experience on fab as this is a very small part of my life.
Hopefully it highlights the difference between the real world and the online..
I'm not old and can remember a time when Internet and smart phones didn't exist, let alone turn us into self obsessed zombies.
Pubs and meeting places are so quiet nowadays because people don't go out, sitting at home watching endless Netflix/ porn, having no money because of the unnecessary cost of living and not being able or having the confidence to go out... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well done OP on your new adventure hope it all works out for you. I've always felt worthless low self esteem and suffered with depression Always kept myself to myself.
We joined fab back in January and since joining it's given me a boost that there are people out there who do think I'm attractive. Still don't believe it, but I Am starting to change the way I think and look about myself.
(Mrs) Good luck xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One of the most important posts I’ve read on here. I’ve been suffering depression for over 4 years. Fab and sites like it are a double edged sword. The amount of messages ignored, the time wasters, the idiots can just make things worse, so next time you just delete a message, THINK please |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
"
Good luck mate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A message, like from most single men on here to be unread, ignored and deleted... However perhaps it may help
I, after several years of coasting am selling what I have and am going exploring and working in France and Spain to live the life I want. sun, sea and the naturist way of life...
Depression, loneliness and isolation have crept up on me and the optomist in me has brushed it aside thinking things will get better.
Tinder, Pof and fab ect can make you doubt your worth with people brushing you aside for something 'better'.
I know full well in a regular social situation, when relaxed on holiday or a at a swinging party I get on famously with many people...on here I couldn't feel any less wanted.. But this is not real life
My age means all of my friends are settled and are happy just being conventional.
If you are not happy, you project it to other people whether you know it or not and if you are in a situation where you are not tied or have anyone or anything then there is no reason to not go and do exactly what you want...
When you are happy people will notice and you won't come across as needy / horny / desperate, you will also realise that you don't need apps and fab to meet some really cool people... Anyway rant over.. Please if you are not happy with your life, be the person you want to be
You should not let this place get to you... I think it’s more hurtful when you are on dating site and they match you and end up costing you than on here when you really don’t know if other person finds you attractive and if you are saying the right thing
I was in very similar situation like you. I was very social and outgoing but last few years depression and anxiety have taken over and so many people have hurt me that I try to stay away and be very careful what people I’m letting close. I guess that’s why I enjoy swingers club experience so much So many nice, chatty and like minded people in one place
I have learned to truly enjoy my own company, travel on my own but there is times when I’m very sad that I can’t share intimacy and feelings with someone or times when you are unwell you are only one who can do shopping for yourself and bring that glass of water to your own sick bed I have dated some lovely guys but always failed as I have had really bad examples of how real relationships or family looks like.
Good luck to you to find right balance and right place and person for you "
This is a fantastic reply
I will add it might not be good to look for someone when you are in the middle of a depression period.
If you are looking to just chat try the chat rooms some really friendly people
Try support groups, friendship apps, walking groups all those will help getting you out and about |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... I’ve been suffering depression for over 4 years. Fab and sites like it are a double edged sword. The amount of messages ignored, the time wasters, the idiots can just make things worse, so next time you just delete a message, THINK please "
Whilst I really see the point, many people get so many emails that it's reasonable for them to delete them and people aren't going to change their behaviour. The real issue is that some people lookfor replies to validate them and make them feel better - which means they essentially hand over some control over feelings of self worth and happiness to strangers who they have never met. That's not a good idea.
I agree with the poster above that you might have a more interesting chat on the forum. To be honest though you would be far better off joining a non sex related forum (think hobbies) or a club and meeting a bunch of real people in the flesh. Bring around happy people is a good tonic for depression. Hunched over a computer screen on some sex site, isn't.
A decade ago, I lost my wife, my child, my house, my job and both my parents within 18 months. I know what it's like to feel depressed. However, there's no substitute for taking up a new hobby, getting out there in the real world and meeting real people.
The Internet is not the best place for it and this site is not the best place on the Internet.
Best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
