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Me, my wife and her boyfriend
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"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " Wow this is a tricky one? I would probably feel the same as you OP, it's a different kettle of fish in my eyes. That being said, if your relationship is solid and open and remains that way... and she respects you if you say you've had enough... then it may be a good thing x I wish you good fortune sir. | |||
"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " Wow this is a tricky one? I would probably feel the same as you OP, it's a different kettle of fish in my eyes. That being said, if your relationship is solid and open and remains that way... and she respects you if you say you've had enough... then it may be a good thing x I wish you good fortune sir. | |||
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I agree, the ‘ex’ element isn’t of great relevance to me, our relationship is far too strong to break... but it is interesting that I can enjoy and feel odd all at the same time about it! Mind blowing at times! | |||
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 Trust me to be complicated! | |||
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"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " Hi, have you talked with eachother about how you feel? Communicating both your thoughts and feelings in an honest and open way would be my advice. | |||
"My husband loves the idea of cuckolding too, it turns him on so much. However, exes are strictly off limits, they are not flames we want to rekindle, too much possibility of the old chemistry rearing its head up. If I were you I would be pretty wary, this thing your wife has with her ex has the potential to develop into something more than casual shagging. It sounds like she's already on her way to at least an emotional affair even if she doesn't realise it yet." This makes a lot of sense. Me and my wife are more stag and vixen we have 3 way threesomes with other males but we see them more as an extra toy it's purely physical nothing more they are there to augment our pleasure (and they enjoy themselves aswell I'm sure). If a chance came up for us to have a threesome with one of her ex's there's no way in hell I'd want me and her to do it. I also think if one of my ex's asked us both for a threesome then my wife would definitely be against it as would I. You just don't know what spark could be rekindled, powerful old feelings of love resurfing etc Good luck with it all. J K x | |||
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"Interesting observation... I think you’re right, there must be hundreds of different dynamics... For her, she always explained that she needed someone who she could relate to and not solely have a physical relationship. This Ex is from when they were 18, some 15/16 years ago... They are able to bond because they have a common ground I think... I’m not sure there’s much to rekindle... - I’d hate to be proved wrong on that though! Haha I enjoy her being happy, soppy but true. Should it truly matter how she is happy? So long as she is? The philosophical concept is good but the emotional complexity is, well, complex! "I think your a braver man than me! You meet her emotional needs in terms of that part of the relationship is that not enough or is an emotional relationship with her bull / lover a must? Has she described what thier teenage relationship was like? Was it wild, intensive, casual, first love etc I would want those things answered personally so you can weight up the flight risk. It's the constant texting part that sounds like a lot of investment early on and before the fucking has even started. J K x | |||
"My husband loves the idea of cuckolding too, it turns him on so much. However, exes are strictly off limits, they are not flames we want to rekindle, too much possibility of the old chemistry rearing its head up. If I were you I would be pretty wary, this thing your wife has with her ex has the potential to develop into something more than casual shagging. It sounds like she's already on her way to at least an emotional affair even if she doesn't realise it yet." ^^^ this for me too ... too many ties & emotions | |||
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"If this is developing into more than physical into a relationship I think you would be best getting advice from polyamorous groups. There are a few good ones on FB. UK Polyamory is the main one for advice." Thank you for that suggestion | |||
"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " If you have even one bit of doubt..stop. An ex is different to a single guy on here. There is history. You don't like the idea then you tell her. X | |||
 She’s met up with him twice, with my knowledge and permission. He lives far enough away that he’s no threat to us and he’s an ex for a reason and that reason is never going to change.
One weird part of this is that it usually brings you closer together, providing you can cope with the mixed feelings you have.
I wish both of you luck if you decide to keep going.
Mr.S | |||
"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " Just a bit of advice, this situation is NOT cuckolding. The emotional aspect is dangerous territory. | |||
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"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " I give you 2 six months.. | |||
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Not sure I could handle an ex...anything else no problem but not sure my head would allow it? | |||
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"My husband loves the idea of cuckolding too, it turns him on so much. However, exes are strictly off limits, they are not flames we want to rekindle, too much possibility of the old chemistry rearing its head up.well said If I were you I would be pretty wary, this thing your wife has with her ex has the potential to develop into something more than casual shagging. It sounds like she's already on her way to at least an emotional affair even if she doesn't realise it yet." well said | |||
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"Hello lovely people! I’m looking for a bit of emotional advice/support really... For a long while I have been mentioning to my everso slightly vanilla wife that the cuckold thing was a turn on for me. Which it absolutely is. After a decent amount of time, not pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to, she has found that actually, having the freedom to act in that way is quite liberating and she is now very much enjoying the introduction to the lifestyle. It has been my ethos from the start that I reject the notion of placing a limit on my wife, I do not want to stop her from expressing herself nor limiting her experiences. This has been at the very epicentre of my logic in introducing her to this. She has been on one date, for dinner, a hotel but held short on the physical stuff on this occasion as was very new to the idea. Recently however, she has been in contact with an ex who has by sheer coincidence, popped up at the right time... She is very excited by him, their texts are constant, speaking on the phone and laughing etc... a real bond is forming and with an interest in physical contact very much on the cards... This has excited me HUGELY whilst also giving me odd jealousy, anxiety etc... I seem very happy with the physical elements being discussed but hearing her laughing or saying that she ‘misses his voice’ sends me down a strange avenue of emotion. My wife has been completely open, I’m allowed to read everything, I have control to stop it at any moment, she has thanked me for allowing her to explore etc. I love her dearly and feel great that I’ve given her this freedom but it’s odd having these slightly adverse feelings... Is it normal? Healthy? Will it go? " It’s completely natural dude. You’re battling with huge emotions about her past and what it might mean to your relationship with her now he’s back on the scene. Tell your wife how you feel, including the anxiety that you’re feeling about it. Being given the power to stop it is one thing, but it doesn’t sound like you want to, but you should talk to her. Cuckolding is a very intense dynamic, you haven’t said how far into that lifestyle you’ve become, but there is still a duty of care to both people. If certain feelings she’s showing towards him are on your mind, how you feel should also be on hers, in my opinion. Cuckolding is an ultimate freedom, but it shouldn’t be abused. You’re showing her the utmost respect in letting her do the things she wants, and with that brings a risk to your emotions, and she should be aware of that too as her duty of care towards you in this scenario. It’s a complete head trip, with and endless mine field to navigate. I wish you all the best, but what you’re feeling is completely normal bro. | |||
