FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Younger couples not playing
Younger couples not playing
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We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls."
I think it's an age where people are very self conscious. I've noticed a lot of young people get into the hot tub wearing underwear etc.
I think, and this is just a guess, that they feel like they stand out and that everyone is looking at them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some couples only go for the ambience, to play together in a liberated space, which is absolutely fine as we tend to do that as well, unless we have arranged a meet at a club. Male  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to attend a club and if I was to do it I wouldn't be interested in sex or play with other couples, it would purely be to watch and to be watched. I don't think there's many other places where you can do that and have that atmosphere.
Maybe it's not an age thing it's just a preference the young people you've come across have? I'm sure there are plenty young ones who are easy to talk to and would like to play |
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As people have said, I think it might be more personal preference rather than an age thing.
However it could also be that they are very new to it so unsure or how everything works/goes?
What are you classing as young also?
We are 28yo and looking at going to clubs. We have tried to get loads of reviews on them so we know what to expect rather than going in completely blind. Tbf I think it will be a little nerve racking after first but like to think we would fit in!
If you have any tips, pros or cons that would be great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don’t like couples under 35 in all reality. We find them quite selfish and very hard to talk to. There’s the odd couple of singles under that age that we like. But on the whole we find younger swingers just aren’t for us. Once couples hit 40 they are so much more fun to be around. The conversation flows and the fun is all the better for it once it comes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We attend for the atmosphere, there’s nowhere else quite like it. We get thrills from playing with each other and enjoying the voyeurism side of things. We tend to go with the flow, if there’s a hot single or a couple that really spark with us then we’re happy to have a play with them.
In terms of socialising we’re quite shy and being relatively new can be daunting. We’ve found that some clubs in our local area are really good to get everyone interacting and have brilliant hosts, however we’ve had a couple experiences of encountering cliques at others and it does make you feel a little isolated and kind of shunned.
Not to say they’re bad experiences like because we still enjoy our time regardless, even if it means just chatting to the staff before having a dip in the hot tub or heading to a play area  xx |
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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon tyne |
Maybe they're shy and just trying it out. Maybe there is no one there they want to play with. Maybe they just like to play together in a club. Maybe they are friends with benefits. Maybe they are meeting from fab at a club as neither can accommodate. There's lots of reasons really |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
You don't have to have sex with other people just because you're at a club.  I've met plenty of older people who just like to soak up the atmosphere.
Many younger swingers I know only want to play with younger people too. Which seems pretty reasonable. The lack of younger people might be why you rarely see them play. |
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By *andVCouple
over a year ago
Doncaster |
Tbf even though were not in our 20's now  , our first ever club visit was when we were both in our 20's, and we played with another couple who were older than us, and every other couple that were there were older than us, but it didn't make it awkward it was fun and we all had a laugh so I think it's a very generalizing opinion as it would very much differ depending on the couple and there reason for being there, not there age. |
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls."
Maybe there’s just no one in attendance they are interested in, especially if they are significantly younger than most of the crowd on that night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of the times we go without arranging a meet we usually don't play with others unless someone catches our eyes, we just enjoy the atmosphere, chat, have sex with each other, that sort of thing. |
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By *hedireCouple
over a year ago
wigan |
"
I think it's an age where people are very self conscious. I've noticed a lot of young people get into the hot tub wearing underwear etc.
I think, and this is just a guess, that they feel like they stand out and that everyone is looking at them."
Interesting. We were in partners about a month ago and also observed a significant number of the younger people, singles not just couples in beachwear.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was fetish wear but inhibitions need to be left outside. |
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We are youngish, (early 30s) and often look like this because we are wanting to play with other young couples and if we don't manage to find a couple we like we will stick to our self's.
Only the other night we were in the cinema playing on a 2 seater couch when an olde couple squeezed in to play with each other as well and the guy just kept staring at us and trying to make small talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they either dont have the confidence to ask / initiate play with others ( we have been in this situation ) or it could be that most are out of the age range they prefer with them being younger .
We sometimes go to clubs without arranging meets and if there's no one there we would like to approach to play , we play ourselves so we may look the same but we just enjoy the atmosphere and social side and chatting to people and make the most of the night whilst were there . Xx
Mrs xx |
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To be fair the majority of couples I and my partner have seen in clubs keeping them self to them self and just playing just together have been young attractive couples. But not exclusively young couples mind. Maybe be a lack of confidence. After all as you get older and more experienced you start to give less fucks and become more free. But then it takes some balls to come to a club in the first place. But I've always assumed it's more to do with lack of attraction to the others in the Club and/or lack of connection. After all I think there is a bigger generation gap between say 20 year old and a 40 year old than there is 40 year old and a 60 year old. So I've sometimes thought maybe they a disappointed as they thought the Club would be full of other sexy young people or like a killing kittens party.
So yes I've made the same anecdotal observations on the club scene as OP, but as many have pointed out despite our speculation there may be numerous reasons. |
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When we are in a club, obviously we will happily chat and make small talk with anyone but I don’t really see the point in actively pursuing conversations unless you are interested in playing with someone as surely you are in a sense “leading them on” as they could be pursuing other conversations that might lead them somewhere.
We get eye fucked a lot in the clubs we’ve been to. The last one even saw an lady from an older couple giving a blow job to a bottle while maintaining eye contact the whole time ha!
However if we don’t think there’s anyone for us on that night and just play with each other, I didn’t realise that would be an issue?!
Part of the fun for me is the liberated feeling of dressing in a way I wouldn’t normally in public. A sexy night out! If we find people to play with it’s an added bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only been to a club once, I went with no intentions of playing whilst there. I did however make an effort to chat to people who made conversation with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't necessarily think you can judge a couple by age. I'm in my twenties (just) and Mr in his 30's. We haven't been to a club night where we haven't spent the evening chatting and getting to know people. We're a very sociable couple and love to meet new people. I do feel like I'm probably quite mature for my age, and have a fair bit of club experience for my age, which is probably a big contributing factor to how at ease I am in that environment! |
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I’ve been twice to clubs. Once with a male partner, once with another single girl.
On both visits I was in my early 30’s.
Everyone else there (with the exception of a few single guys) was over 55.
I’d have loved to mingle with some younger people but they just weren’t there. |
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"We don’t like couples under 35 in all reality. We find them quite selfish and very hard to talk to. There’s the odd couple of singles under that age that we like. But on the whole we find younger swingers just aren’t for us. Once couples hit 40 they are so much more fun to be around. The conversation flows and the fun is all the better for it once it comes. "
I find older couples more narrow minded. Just thought I'd join in with generalising. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"
We get eye fucked a lot in the clubs we’ve been to. The last one even saw an lady from an older couple giving a blow job to a bottle while maintaining eye contact the whole time "
LMAO that's classic! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's"
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"
I think it's an age where people are very self conscious. I've noticed a lot of young people get into the hot tub wearing underwear etc.
I think, and this is just a guess, that they feel like they stand out and that everyone is looking at them.
Interesting. We were in partners about a month ago and also observed a significant number of the younger people, singles not just couples in beachwear.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was fetish wear but inhibitions need to be left outside."
Is it a club rule that people have to be naked or in fetish wear at this club? Or an unwritten one? I thought clubs would allow you to make a choice. |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited. "
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded "
We was doing it as an under 40 because we have been told by a lot of people under 40 that they don’t feel comfortable going to socials because they are generally filled with over 40’s. |
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Bearing in mind that I haven't been to a club (yet! It's on the list!)
I think there's something to be said for a generational gap, if I'm going to a club at 25 years old, I won't be looking to play with anyone in their 50s, no disrespect meant of course.
It just doesn't feel enjoyable to me that I'd be in there and surrounded by people who I most likely have very little in common with.
I would definitely stick to myself or look around for people closer to my own age. It's very much a comfortability thing
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The trouble is now a days the young text on there phones and don’t know how to communicate with others, but yes I see that in clubs they like to watch others then some afterward go in a private room and play by themselves which is totally up to them but I have seen the odd young couples okaying on the open beds, but when I stated swinging I thought it would be couples in there there 40s and 50s but was very surprised to see couple in there 20s but I think with the internet they see porn on there and want to see what’s it’s all about, but I think with the young couples her girl is shy exposing her body where the guy cannot wait to get his cock out |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited. "
The kink scene has always been very similar. There are lots of under 35's events in the kink scene, and you'd be amazed at the ways older people (mostly men) try and justify that they should be invited.
What you inevitably end up with is a policy that as long as on of the partner is under 35 then their partner can come... so you find lots of older men who have bagged younger women turning up. And the younger women, half the time, don't really seem to know what they've been signed up for. |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"The trouble is now a days the young text on there phones and don’t know how to communicate with others, but yes I see that in clubs they like to watch others then some afterward go in a private room and play by themselves which is totally up to them but I have seen the odd young couples okaying on the open beds, but when I stated swinging I thought it would be couples in there there 40s and 50s but was very surprised to see couple in there 20s but I think with the internet they see porn on there and want to see what’s it’s all about, but I think with the young couples her girl is shy exposing her body where the guy cannot wait to get his cock out "
I mean, honestly, I'm telling you as someone who is 34 years old and has been swinging since they were 20. Most of the young people I've met, socialised with, and played with, only want to play with other young people.
It's not that they can't communicate with others. In fact at work I manage young people from the ages of about 16-24 and they communicate extremely well both off and online (I myself have three degrees focussing on written and oral work, so I know what communication is).
I think honestly, as someone in the middle of the age group, I'd rather socialise with other young people at swing clubs rather than people older than me. Mostly because I fear I'll get with some nob who thinks that young people think life is all about phones and porn. |
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I don't think it's an age thing. Many couples will sit and just engage with each other regardless of age.
This is fine as it will be down to a mixture of things. Our point would be if you wait to be approached don't complain if you don't get a meet that night.
We have learnt that rejection is part of the process. So we just go and talk to whomever we like.
They may like us, they may find us repulsive, but most people can hold a conversation for more than 3 minutes even if we are not for them.
We've met with younger and older couples and guys this way. Some whom may not have spoken to anyone else all night.
Our only advice would be if you like someone don't assume you know what their response will be. Just go and talk and see if you can hit it off. |
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I'm 25 and we go to clubs pretty often.
We like clubs because we like the social side, we like to watch and we like to be watched.
Were happy to play if we find someone we like but if not there's nothing wrong with just enjoying feeling free to be sexual.
That being said we often feel like we're being fed to the hounds as soon as we walk into a club, especially if it's full of older men. That's off putting.
Theres also times when I feel more comfortable with people approaching us so we'll often sit in a corner so that we can speak to people but not be bombarded or have people sneak up. |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded "
Then whats the point? |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point? "
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don’t like couples under 35 in all reality. We find them quite selfish and very hard to talk to. There’s the odd couple of singles under that age that we like. But on the whole we find younger swingers just aren’t for us. Once couples hit 40 they are so much more fun to be around. The conversation flows and the fun is all the better for it once it comes.
I find older couples more narrow minded. Just thought I'd join in with generalising. "
 I agree |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works "
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
"
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s |
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"We don’t like couples under 35 in all reality. We find them quite selfish and very hard to talk to. There’s the odd couple of singles under that age that we like. But on the whole we find younger swingers just aren’t for us. Once couples hit 40 they are so much more fun to be around. The conversation flows and the fun is all the better for it once it comes.
I find older couples more narrow minded. Just thought I'd join in with generalising. I agree "
Thats a shame since you messaged us and we're both under 35 
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s"
Townhouse does an under 40’s night that is really under 40’s only. Well I think they market it as 39 and unders! |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s"
Not at all, gives younger chance to social, arrange meets etc and stay with their age category. It was mostly under 40, no one paraded at all  . We've a mix of friends of various ages, age doesn't define personality or attraction to us. But we're all different needs |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s
Not at all, gives younger chance to social, arrange meets etc and stay with their age category. It was mostly under 40, no one paraded at all . We've a mix of friends of various ages, age doesn't define personality or attraction to us. But we're all different needs "
I think what Brat and the Beast is saying is that most club nights are mixed age groups when anyone can attend which is awesome!
It just seems a bit counter intuitive to have an under 40’s night that any age can attend? Obviously if it works for the club then great, but I can very much see it from both sides |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s
Not at all, gives younger chance to social, arrange meets etc and stay with their age category. It was mostly under 40, no one paraded at all . We've a mix of friends of various ages, age doesn't define personality or attraction to us. But we're all different needs
I think what Brat and the Beast is saying is that most club nights are mixed age groups when anyone can attend which is awesome!
It just seems a bit counter intuitive to have an under 40’s night that any age can attend? Obviously if it works for the club then great, but I can very much see it from both sides"
Exactly! I wouldn't even attend a curvy girl night because I'm stick thin. I'm not what they're after and that's fine. Wouldn't attend an over 40s for the same reason. |
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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago
Bristol Area |
There are definitely a couple of clubs where I would say there was a high level of “Tourism”. Young people going as a tick-box exercise to say they had been to a swingers club/sex party. One night we went to a certain club and more than half of the couples we spoke to were “just here with each other/our friends”, or even “oh we met last week at [fet event] and decided to come to this together”.
I know everyone has to start somewhere, but that night I felt like the real (again, not trying to diss newbies) swingers were the entertainment for the younger people in search of a good story for their social group.
Apparently it’s more of modern phenomenon that young people do things for the experience/photo/story (see: explosion of experience-type bars like ball-pools, rooftops, secret cinema etc etc.) |
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
Sounds like any other night in a club apart from this sounds like the the under 40’s are being paraded for the over 40’s
Not at all, gives younger chance to social, arrange meets etc and stay with their age category. It was mostly under 40, no one paraded at all . We've a mix of friends of various ages, age doesn't define personality or attraction to us. But we're all different needs
I think what Brat and the Beast is saying is that most club nights are mixed age groups when anyone can attend which is awesome!
It just seems a bit counter intuitive to have an under 40’s night that any age can attend? Obviously if it works for the club then great, but I can very much see it from both sides
Exactly! I wouldn't even attend a curvy girl night because I'm stick thin. I'm not what they're after and that's fine. Wouldn't attend an over 40s for the same reason. "
Agree exactly that's why it's good to have options. We prefer a couples night so focus mainly on them. As clubs are catering for all, trying different themes is great so can pick accordingly. Age category is bit more difficult, I'm only aware of Townhouse which is strict, look at their events. Xtasia is more a preference as mentioned (no single men) but hosts are 30 hence the focus and draw to it. We go to Chams and have noticed younger couples attending so things are changing in the scene. As to initial question regarding playing/watching I think this is all people especially when new x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Xtasia are doing a Youthful Exhuberance Event next Saturday, guest list and info in forum, aimed at under 40's
We tried organising an under 40’s social a few weeks ago. We got nothing but grief from people over 40 because we wouldn’t invite them. Private mail just moaning constantly on the forum.
We gave up up on the idea in the end because the elder crowd was getting seemed very self entitled and angry that they wasn’t invited.
Its under 40s preference not compulsory, no one is excluded
Then whats the point?
To draw in a bigger crowd of younger couples, it works
If it's under 40s I'd love it. People within my age range, more chances of finding someone I like.
Under 40s but any age goes just seems like it's going to be young people looking for young people but arriving and finding older people looking for young people.
Theres probably a better way to word it but hopefully that makes sense.
"
seeing as you blocked me, go back and read I was agreeing g with the part that said older people are narrow minded not the other part! So get a grip |
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So for me personally I am 32 and have been travelling clubs for 3 years now. I would definitely say its a confidence thing.
A lot of the time me and neil my partner say hello to these couples and if nothing else answer a hell of a lot of questions and queries they have.
I know of a lot of couple who love voyeurism and exhibitionism. It sometimes is the first stage. |
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Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older. |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older."
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like! |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
Depends, do you remember a time when students tried to get their own forum on here.
It depends what you clasify as young, their previous experience vicarious or other, personal taist, personality. I have personally got on and get on well with people older than me in the swinging scene.
But for some it can be daughting i know someone who joined the scene when she was 17 and was instantly put off by clubs. From my own experience i was put off seeing people just pour out the woodwork to watch, however i do enjoy clubs. |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!"
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant! |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls."
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
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I started swinging with an ex when I was about 20,and we'd would get comments how they would buy sweets for us to play as we were practically children. Comnments like that can knock confidence, think people don't take the younger generation seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I started swinging with an ex when I was about 20,and we'd would get comments how they would buy sweets for us to play as we were practically children. Comnments like that can knock confidence, think people don't take the younger generation seriously. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older."
We have exactly the same experiences. Although I'm only 29, the Mr is 39 and I seem to get on better with couples who are at least in their 30's as we have much more im common. I also haven't yet met a young couple who seem to be able to Deal with the emotions (jealousy etc) that can Appear when swinging or visiting a club, but that could just be my own personal experience |
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
"
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I started swinging with an ex when I was about 20,and we'd would get comments how they would buy sweets for us to play as we were practically children. Comnments like that can knock confidence, think people don't take the younger generation seriously. "
I am sorry to hear that. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish. "
Who is Billy Eyelash? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish.
Who is Billy Eyelash?"
I had no idea who she was until around a week ago either Haha |
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish. "
You see... maybe that’s the issue
“Hide your contempt for youngsters music”
Why treat it with contempt? Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s rubbish? |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!"
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old."
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity "
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days."
Still disagree some younger people have far more life experiences than older people. People should have equal opportunity on here regardless of their age. I've met some older people in my lifetime with the emotional maturity of a 2 year old. |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days.
Still disagree some younger people have far more life experiences than older people. People should have equal opportunity on here regardless of their age. I've met some older people in my lifetime with the emotional maturity of a 2 year old. "
Well we may have to agree to disagree in general. There's always going be example like you've stated. I think I am one of those examples. In my experience on the whole the maturity gap closes with age. I think people do have equal oppertunity. But at the end of the day people connect with who they connect with. This is something that can't be forced or made to fit quotas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days.
Still disagree some younger people have far more life experiences than older people. People should have equal opportunity on here regardless of their age. I've met some older people in my lifetime with the emotional maturity of a 2 year old.
Well we may have to agree to disagree in general. There's always going be example like you've stated. I think I am one of those examples. In my experience on the whole the maturity gap closes with age. I think people do have equal oppertunity. But at the end of the day people connect with who they connect with. This is something that can't be forced or made to fit quotas."
100% agree you click with who you click with, I personally don't go for the younger ones myself. However I've spoken to a few who are very mature and just as serious about this site as the older ones. I just dont think they should be written off so easily. |
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days.
Still disagree some younger people have far more life experiences than older people. People should have equal opportunity on here regardless of their age. I've met some older people in my lifetime with the emotional maturity of a 2 year old.
Well we may have to agree to disagree in general. There's always going be example like you've stated. I think I am one of those examples. In my experience on the whole the maturity gap closes with age. I think people do have equal oppertunity. But at the end of the day people connect with who they connect with. This is something that can't be forced or made to fit quotas.
100% agree you click with who you click with, I personally don't go for the younger ones myself. However I've spoken to a few who are very mature and just as serious about this site as the older ones. I just dont think they should be written off so easily. "
I agree with you on that, no one should be written off. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. And on the scene I have been surprised at some of the amazing people I/we have connected with that at face value probably wouldn't of thought we would. But going on experiance in general (and not get in terms of swinging) the maturity gap closes with age. However I suppose the problem with generalisations even if quantativily accurate l we risk stigmatising certain groups on a case by case basis. Which in turn doesn't nessersarly help the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my partner are both under 40 but genrally we seem to have far more in common with couples in are 35+. Genrally we don't seem to have as much in common with people in their 20s. So I imagine the same is likewise the other way. The only trouble for people in there 20s is that they tend to be a small group. There seems multiple reasons but I think a lot of it is to do with not enough younger couples. We very rarely see couples who are both in their 20s. We often see couples where the women in their 20s but they are often with a man who is much older.
As a hugely wide generalisation I think it’s definitely true.
We are both in our mid 30’s... I find I’m mostly attracted to and most compatible with others in their 30’s ish. Once you get to early 30’s and late 40’s onwards, broadly speaking, I find that the attraction is much less likely.
Like often attracts like!
I also can’t type... early 20’s and late 40’s that should obviously say. But you knew what I meant!
I also think as you get older the generation gap gets smaller. Broadly speaking I think often a 40 year old may have more in common with a 60 year old than they do a 20 year old.
I have to disagree it all comes down to emotional maturity
Yes but I think genrally speaking emotional maturity comes with age and life experiance. Hence why I think the maturity gap tends to be disproportionate to the gap in years and closes as we get older. Many people by 40 have faced the same challenges and share the same life experiences as someone who is 60. Many 20 year olds are pretty much newbies in terms of adulthood and yet to share many of these experiences. Especially in modern times. Of course on a case by case basis you'll find people who do not fit this model. From example from my late teens I've tended to date women a fair few years older than me. And I had seen, done and faced many things at 20 that many dont till there 30s these days.
Still disagree some younger people have far more life experiences than older people. People should have equal opportunity on here regardless of their age. I've met some older people in my lifetime with the emotional maturity of a 2 year old.
Well we may have to agree to disagree in general. There's always going be example like you've stated. I think I am one of those examples. In my experience on the whole the maturity gap closes with age. I think people do have equal oppertunity. But at the end of the day people connect with who they connect with. This is something that can't be forced or made to fit quotas.
100% agree you click with who you click with, I personally don't go for the younger ones myself. However I've spoken to a few who are very mature and just as serious about this site as the older ones. I just dont think they should be written off so easily.
I agree with you on that, no one should be written off. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. And on the scene I have been surprised at some of the amazing people I/we have connected with that at face value probably wouldn't of thought we would. But going on experiance in general (and not get in terms of swinging) the maturity gap closes with age. However I suppose the problem with generalisations even if quantativily accurate l we risk stigmatising certain groups on a case by case basis. Which in turn doesn't nessersarly help the situation."
Cant really debate that, see emotional maturity lol |
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I wouldn't have been able to cope with swinging with a partner up to 30 yo, because i'd have been seeking a long term relationship with a view to kids etc.
It took to my 40s to not have the body confidence to swing, though I wouldn't say I swing properly.
I don't blame them, all mouth about exploits, yet when it comes down to it, older couples have less inhibitions |
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"A hot 40 something with the maturity of a 30 year old would be lovely. But people tend to become self righteous assholes after 45."
I'm 35, but I'm right on track. Maybe I'll hit self righteous arsehole by 40 on my current trajectory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A hot 40 something with the maturity of a 30 year old would be lovely. But people tend to become self righteous assholes after 45.
I'm 35, but I'm right on track. Maybe I'll hit self righteous arsehole by 40 on my current trajectory."
Boss username mate! Love the Avalanches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls."
Perhaps young couples don’t like being made to feel like ‘kids’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Perhaps young couples don’t like being made to feel like ‘kids’. "
this |
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Interesting thread. We’re self proclaimed “rubbish swingers” because we go to our local club with no intention of playing while there. Our intention when at a club is to meet friendly, like minded people who we can socialise with and perhaps arrange future meetings.
We tried playing in a club once (private room), and the “zombies” at the door completely put us off; since then we don’t even bother going to the play areas but just stick to the bar area and chat.
As for the comment about leading people on, we are very careful not to do that. When we get chatting to people we make it clear that we don’t play in the club, so if they’re purely looking to play then they should perhaps chat to someone else.
We like to get to know people and will socialise with anybody. We won’t have sex with just “anybody”. We respect the preferences of others, and would be grateful if people could afford us the same..
An under 40s social would be something we would attend (though we attend lots of socials!) |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish.
Who is Billy Eyelash?
I had no idea who she was until around a week ago either Haha "
As a young person i had to YouTube her to find out who she was the video where she turns into paint is artful (you can probably tell i don't pay attention to the charts). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
Does it really matter what they are doing? Unless you follow them all night you won't know that they aren't playing with other people.
OP here - no it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and no we don’t follow anyone around a club, although as we prefer the more open area clubs like VA it’s normally fairly obvious who is doing what to whom.
Lots of excellent points made ITT, and of course generalisations are always tricky.
But I think empathy is normal, and if we see a much younger couple, particularly if they’ve been looking at us, then we will have a bash at chatting to them. And we’ve occasionally found it an awkward encounter where it never seems to be a problem chatting within our age group or older.
It maybe as simple that I (Mr) don’t do a very good job trying to hide my contempt for youngsters music like Bastille and Billy Eilish.
Who is Billy Eyelash?
I had no idea who she was until around a week ago either Haha
As a young person i had to YouTube her to find out who she was the video where she turns into paint is artful (you can probably tell i don't pay attention to the charts). "
I haven't listened to her music seen interviews though, such a sweet lass |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"I wouldn't have been able to cope with swinging with a partner up to 30 yo, because i'd have been seeking a long term relationship with a view to kids etc.
It took to my 40s to not have the body confidence to swing, though I wouldn't say I swing properly.
I don't blame them, all mouth about exploits, yet when it comes down to it, older couples have less inhibitions"
I don’t think that’s true at all. I’ve been with plenty of people the same age as myself with body confidence and few inhibitions about sex.
Just because you didn’t figure out your body confidence and inhibitions until later in life doesn’t mean everyone is the same. Thankfully. Otherwise I’d only be shagging older people and that would be crap. |
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Noticed it at Kestrels, I really think it is easier and in London a lot cheaper than paying out for an hotel room which you may only use for a couple of hours. They certainly didn't socialise a great deal. |
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"We’ve noticed a bit of a trend at the clubs where there’s been some younger (twenties and possibly even younger) couples who just play with each other and don’t seem to Swing.
Which is absolutely fine, although having a conversation with them often seems awkward as well (not just for us, we’ve seen others struggle lol). I do think if you’re in a club (not in a room obviously) then a little bit of socialising is normal.
Whereas we pretty much always get a conversation going with couples our age or older.
Is it just that young couples go to clubs as they don’t have a place of their own? Or are we just lumping all kids into the same boat?
After a year of fairly intensive clubbing it does seem that the awkward moments were always with the younger guys and girls.
I think it's an age where people are very self conscious. I've noticed a lot of young people get into the hot tub wearing underwear etc.
I think, and this is just a guess, that they feel like they stand out and that everyone is looking at them."
Very strange but think it is a younger generation thing. Having used the gym regularly and played football against younger teams it always baffles me why young men jump in the communal showers in their boxer shorts. Very strange indeed. |
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"Young people are constantly being battered with images of perfect bodies via the media overload of today. Is it any wonder they don’t want to strip off in front of others? I know I wouldn’t."
You look absolutely fabulous. X |
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"Young people are constantly being battered with images of perfect bodies via the media overload of today. Is it any wonder they don’t want to strip off in front of others? I know I wouldn’t.
You look absolutely fabulous. X"
Thankyou
I try to keep in shape but I’m not at a place where I could wear anything less then a bikini or underwear in public. I think that’s true of lots of people these days. Airbrushing and cosmetic surgery is more accessible now than ever and it’s lots of ways, it doesn’t help with people’s confidence. |
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"Young people are constantly being battered with images of perfect bodies via the media overload of today. Is it any wonder they don’t want to strip off in front of others? I know I wouldn’t."
It's a fair argument in general. And to be fair I can't say anything because it's only in resent years I've started totally not to give a dam and love and accept the body I have to the stage where I am comfortable being naked in front of strangers and completely happy and uninhibited. I think that is often a gift of life experiance and age. Works for me because im not a huge fan of clothes anyway. Bear in mind when I was a teen we didn't really have social media (My Space was pointless as it took ages to upload the photos), camera phones that could airbrush and filter compounding the ever present social pressure.
I wonder if not only many young people in clubs are very self conscious in clubs but also maybe many of the people on show do not meet the expectations they where expecting? |
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"Young people are constantly being battered with images of perfect bodies via the media overload of today. Is it any wonder they don’t want to strip off in front of others? I know I wouldn’t.
It's a fair argument in general. And to be fair I can't say anything because it's only in resent years I've started totally not to give a dam and love and accept the body I have to the stage where I am comfortable being naked in front of strangers and completely happy and uninhibited. I think that is often a gift of life experiance and age. Works for me because im not a huge fan of clothes anyway. Bear in mind when I was a teen we didn't really have social media (My Space was pointless as it took ages to upload the photos), camera phones that could airbrush and filter compounding the ever present social pressure.
I wonder if not only many young people in clubs are very self conscious in clubs but also maybe many of the people on show do not meet the expectations they where expecting? "
I think that’s also true. It definitely was when I went (although that was 9 years ago now!).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s absolutely an age thing, the move into mainstream club nights has meant an influx of younger people attending who in the main, like the ambience but are not swinging but peacocking, easy to avoid these nights if you want to actually play with other people, avoid nights with a named DJ, or club nights that claim to attract the beautiful young people, you know the ones |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
"It’s absolutely an age thing, the move into mainstream club nights has meant an influx of younger people attending who in the main, like the ambience but are not swinging but peacocking, easy to avoid these nights if you want to actually play with other people, avoid nights with a named DJ, or club nights that claim to attract the beautiful young people, you know the ones "
That's funny, I've had loads of sex with other young people at nights like that.  |
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