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Read, not deleted...
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Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
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I got attacked by one in Finsbury Park once. It was like the 'Rats of NIMH' but with nicer tails. But not that much nicer as grimy London squirrels tend to have really manky, greasy tails. And they're all on crack, apparently. |
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
What could be happening to make a squirrel cum? |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
What could be happening to make a squirrel cum? "
It means it’s nuts are being pinched |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple sometimes we are not on at the sametime, so one of us will read a message and wait for the other to take a look, however sapphire can be brutal and just go straight for the block button  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
If I'm interested I reply. Any other response means I'm not interested.
If interested they will get back to you, save your time and delete all your sent messages, it might lessen the stress and overthinking things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
If I read but don't delete it means I'm going to go back to it |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
It could mean a number of things for us. We are waiting for the other to see, we aren't interested, I read the message whilst hiding on my phone in the loo at work with no time to reply then o forgot!! You'll never know! |
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I might not have time got reply right then, or the phone rang or something came up and then I forgot, got distracted. And fab only stores so many messages, about a day or twos worth, so if I don’t have time to reply to messages before they disappear then it’s too late! |
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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
I’m not understanding this monitoring of sent messages. I send a message and if I get a response, fine if not then I move on.
Seeing a deleted message as a signal is fine if the receiver follows the same system if not you’ve complicated the matter. I regularly bulk delete my inbox as I’m a bit OCD but don’t think people that chat to me see it as the brush off if the convo is going well, it’s just a little housekeeping. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
There is no point whatsoever in checking your sent messages. There is no particular way that people behave once they've read a message all you are going to do is overthink things.
Once the message has gone, let it go. |
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We've had that a few times,we have forgotten about a message and had a reply nearly 3 weeks later lol
There are no rules to it ppl do as they please,our advice move forget about it and you never know lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often squirrels for me, or I just can’t think of a response to move the conversation on, but it’s not quite dire enough to say ‘Look you’re not for me’. I’m open to gentle prodding..  |
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"I’m not understanding this monitoring of sent messages. I send a message and if I get a response, fine if not then I move on.
Seeing a deleted message as a signal is fine if the receiver follows the same system if not you’ve complicated the matter. I regularly bulk delete my inbox as I’m a bit OCD but don’t think people that chat to me see it as the brush off if the convo is going well, it’s just a little housekeeping. "
It's an issue of not wanting to inadvertently harass someone or generally outstay your welcome in someone's inbox. Many women specifically state on profiles that 'deleted message means no thanks', so you check to see if your message has been retained or immediately binned. It's the way this site appears to work. It's not really something I do on other sites - seems to be a peculiarity of the fab milleu. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
if I've read and not deleted I've simply forgotten to reply being sidetracked by something or lost your message |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"I tend to read, block, delete once a week
A place in heaven awaits...
I recall messaging you on another site - I thought you looked lovely and friendly - you were very frosty though "
Ladies, form an orderly queue.. |
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
My mrs never deletes anything, and usually resets to appear unread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
It means exactly what it is,read and not deleted
Untill someone actually messages you back there is no definitive way of knowing what it means.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you'd been chatting a while and they don't reply it could be that they didn't know what to say to your last message. Send another and see if the conversation starts again. |
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By *zzy69Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
I don’t delete as if someone messages me again the previous messages show ( thank heavens for the new style mailbox the old one was impossible)
If I am really not interested I will block- harsh but saves both parties wasting time.
As others have said- did you say anything interesting? Maybe you didn’t send a picture? Maybe you aren’t showing any verifications .
I would give it a day or two at least rather than pester - assuming you have a particular interest in the person- some men just send random messages to any female who happens to be online and then get arsey when they don’t reply!!!! |
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"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'
But what about read, not deleted?
I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?
What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?
"
Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested..... |
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Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested....."
Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!
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" I would give it a day or two at least rather than pester - assuming you have a particular interest in the person- some men just send random messages to any female who happens to be online and then get arsey when they don’t reply!!!!""
The absolute last thing I am is a pesterer, if anything I am erring too far on the side of caution; it occurred to me that I may have inadvertently let some genuine connections drop purely because the recipient did actually intend to continue the dialogue but got sidetracked or distracted then forgot, and out of respect I just left it and didn't attempt to pick up the conversation... |
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Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested.....
Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!
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I understand that but maybe it’s best to assume if you do not get a reply even if your message has been read that the recipient is not interested. If they were interested then surely they would have responded...... |
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Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested.....
Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!
I understand that but maybe it’s best to assume if you do not get a reply even if your message has been read that the recipient is not interested. If they were interested then surely they would have responded......"
... And maybe it's not? For example, you messaged me once about something fairly random, my username iirc. I took that to mean you were interested in if not a full on chat then at least being friendly. I then replied with maybe not the most interesting reply ever but I asked you about yours, and you never replied. So what am I supposed to take away from that exchange? I went from interesting to boring in the space of one phrase? And if that's really the case then maybe I need to fix up and stop being a boring cunt lol |
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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..
That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works... |
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By *zzy69Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..
That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works... "
Absolutely could not agree more
I would add possibly less wanking ? |
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"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..
That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works... "
I have to disagree with you about the clubs; I've had far more success meeting people through messaging via Fab, than I did in the 10 times I visited a club as a single guy. What I would say though is; take note of a profile's verifications, because if they have mostly veris from clubs and organised socials, you're probably wasting your time messaging through Fab  |
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"If I'm interested I reply. Any other response means I'm not interested.
If interested they will get back to you, save your time and delete all your sent messages, it might lessen the stress and overthinking things"
This is the best advice OP |
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My issue with clubs is that in my immediate area they're couples only. The ones that look decent are a couple of hundred miles round trip and 30 quid or so on the door, as a single guy you usually have to book a day or two in advance... It starts to turn into a big event that needs planning and so on and considering there's no guarantee that it will be busy or I'll meet anyone cool. So my aim with Fab is as much about sorting things so I know that if I go to a club on a given occasion there will at least be a friendly face or two, than it is purely about arranging meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One reason why I don't always delete is because it gets rid of the message history. I like to keep it so I can remind myself who they are if they message me again. |
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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..
That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works...
I have to disagree with you about the clubs; I've had far more success meeting people through messaging via Fab, than I did in the 10 times I visited a club as a single guy. What I would say though is; take note of a profile's verifications, because if they have mostly veris from clubs and organised socials, you're probably wasting your time messaging through Fab "
Horses for courses.. What works for one might not work for another. The OP has to find what works for him.. You said that you went to a club 10 times and nothing happend.. Who is to say on the 11th time something may of happend.. Also you have to remember the social aspect. Did you get to know people.. Did they want to know you.. Did you stand out from the crowd.. Did you ask or did you just stand around and watch.. Did you plant any seeds and then helped them grow... Some times its about being pacent.. |
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Once a message has been sent, it's really better to just get on and go about your life, including fab life, without any further thought. If and when you may get a response, you can then re-engage with the person, if you'd both like to. Ignore what you've sent, just focus on the inbox - wasting energy on what read/not deleted etc may mean is just that, wasting energy imo. |
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"Why does read and deleted mean no interest?We delete all messages."
Some people don't delete messages, unless they're offensive etc. So someone may have received one, checked the profile and then not deleted, for any number of reasons, including just waiting the it to drop out of their visible mail area, whilst newer ones replace it. They may or may not ever get around to revisiting older messages that were read and left hanging - but my opinion is that it's better to assume that there's no interest. There are reasons, such as being interrupted at home, already having a meet planned that may become a regular fb that someone would like and they'll focus on that, meaning the read/not deleted ones might get a re-read and then a reply - but many people here don't delete messages. |
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