FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Swinging and feelings
Swinging and feelings
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me that views swinging as really enjoyable, pleasurable but meaningless sex?
Theres no real feelings involved if you're swinging as a single, I understand its different if you're a couple because afterwards you have that amazing bond to go back to where its home just as a single guy it's just meaningless albeit very enjoyable sex. Am I wrong to feel that way? |
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I take the attitude of, I'm having a pleasurable social time with people I enjoy spending time with. I like it when meets turn into friendships and repeat meets, but realise it doesn't always happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As long as no one gets hurt then I don't think there's a wrong way to feel."
No one getting hurt is the big one obviously but I was just curious as to how single people feel when they swing and if they viewed swinging the same as me or it has a deeper meaning to it for them |
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"As long as no one gets hurt then I don't think there's a wrong way to feel.
No one getting hurt is the big one obviously but I was just curious as to how single people feel when they swing and if they viewed swinging the same as me or it has a deeper meaning to it for them"
Oh no, I didn't mean in your case. There are people who play head games. Apart from that, I think there's no right or wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I take the attitude of, I'm having a pleasurable social time with people I enjoy spending time with. I like it when meets turn into friendships and repeat meets, but realise it doesn't always happen. "
I've really enjoyed the social side of it all, possibly more than the actual sex part as of yet. I've met some nice people who I see socially regularly in a swingers club |
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I think it depends what you mean by "feelings". When you have a friend with benefits then there's some connection there. For a woman sex with a guy with absolutely no intention of fucking her again because he wants to be selfish and get off usually means they are shit in bed. Sorry to say it. You might have a good time but there's more chance than not the woman faked it.
I don't think sex means anything at all. It's just a primal urge. As a single female I enjoy the time I spend with people and I've been seeing people ranging from a year to 9 years and have absolutely no feelings other than they're a friend I have sex with and have enjoyable time with. The act of sex is meaningless but not to everyone. Depends on your personality. One of my closest friends falls in love after fucking a guy once so she looks for relationships. I don't think there's a place for jealousy in swinging and if that's how people feel.. Imo they shouldn't do it. |
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I have a good friend here, I don't think I have "feelings" as such, but I'm incredibly fond of him and would be pretty upset if I couldn't see him again. But that's built up over more than a year, and we are pretty clearly friends. It'd be the friendship breakup I'd really mourn. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it depends what you mean by "feelings". When you have a friend with benefits then there's some connection there. For a woman sex with a guy with absolutely no intention of fucking her again because he wants to be selfish and get off usually means they are shit in bed. Sorry to say it. You might have a good time but there's more chance than not the woman faked it.
I don't think sex means anything at all. It's just a primal urge. As a single female I enjoy the time I spend with people and I've been seeing people ranging from a year to 9 years and have absolutely no feelings other than they're a friend I have sex with and have enjoyable time with. The act of sex is meaningless but not to everyone. Depends on your personality. One of my closest friends falls in love after fucking a guy once so she looks for relationships. I don't think there's a place for jealousy in swinging and if that's how people feel.. Imo they shouldn't do it. "
I think sex with someone you love can feel very different to someone you dont, it can be just as enjoyable but then there's a deeper connection with someone you may be in love with that goes a bit deeper than just the physical part of sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that views swinging as really enjoyable, pleasurable but meaningless sex?
Theres no real feelings involved if you're swinging as a single, I understand its different if you're a couple because afterwards you have that amazing bond to go back to where its home just as a single guy it's just meaningless albeit very enjoyable sex. Am I wrong to feel that way?"
No, not wrong. It depends on you as a person and what you want to give. Me personally, at the beginning I was very much the same. 18 months later I really enjoy repeat meets, it gets better every time. The meets where I sense it's more meaningless for them I likely won't meet again. I like intimate but rough fucking sesh, only someone who gets to know you well can give you the experience you desire and vice versa. I have found this more fulfilling. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that views swinging as really enjoyable, pleasurable but meaningless sex?
Theres no real feelings involved if you're swinging as a single, I understand its different if you're a couple because afterwards you have that amazing bond to go back to where its home just as a single guy it's just meaningless albeit very enjoyable sex. Am I wrong to feel that way?
No, not wrong. It depends on you as a person and what you want to give. Me personally, at the beginning I was very much the same. 18 months later I really enjoy repeat meets, it gets better every time. The meets where I sense it's more meaningless for them I likely won't meet again. I like intimate but rough fucking sesh, only someone who gets to know you well can give you the experience you desire and vice versa. I have found this more fulfilling. "
I think that myself, the more regular the meets the more you get to know what each other really likes and the better it seems to get.
Do you have many regular meets on here if you don't mind me asking? |
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By *uxomBloomsWoman
over a year ago
Near Tunbridge Wells |
It really depends on the situation for me. If I'm playing with a group of men at a spar/club it's pretty meaningless (although I have to have made a social connection with at least one of them).
But there are men that I communicate with on here or text, men I've really built up a connection with and the sex with them can touch not just my body but my mind and soul. (Sorry for sounding like such a hippy!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it just me that views swinging as really enjoyable, pleasurable but meaningless sex?
Theres no real feelings involved if you're swinging as a single, I understand its different if you're a couple because afterwards you have that amazing bond to go back to where its home just as a single guy it's just meaningless albeit very enjoyable sex. Am I wrong to feel that way?
No, not wrong. It depends on you as a person and what you want to give. Me personally, at the beginning I was very much the same. 18 months later I really enjoy repeat meets, it gets better every time. The meets where I sense it's more meaningless for them I likely won't meet again. I like intimate but rough fucking sesh, only someone who gets to know you well can give you the experience you desire and vice versa. I have found this more fulfilling.
I think that myself, the more regular the meets the more you get to know what each other really likes and the better it seems to get.
Do you have many regular meets on here if you don't mind me asking? "
The same people you mean I take it? I have met 2 guys on here I meet regularly and they are both a special part of my life, we value eachother. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex? |
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As long as there's friendliness I don't think other feelings need to be involved but then I'm part of a couple.
I do think that investing too much emotion in swinging partners leaves you vulnerable. |
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"I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex?"
Does it mean absolutely nothing to you or just no deeper emotions? Do you feel pleasure, joy, happiness during and after a swinging encounter? I think people confuse meaningless sex with them being meaningless to you and hopefully that isn't the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex?
Does it mean absolutely nothing to you or just no deeper emotions? Do you feel pleasure, joy, happiness during and after a swinging encounter? I think people confuse meaningless sex with them being meaningless to you and hopefully that isn't the case. "
Yeah I really enjoy the experience and I feel good afterwards but it is just that to me, just a really good, enjoyable experience but theres no deeper feeling to it other than that. It is just sex to me |
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"I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex?
Does it mean absolutely nothing to you or just no deeper emotions? Do you feel pleasure, joy, happiness during and after a swinging encounter? I think people confuse meaningless sex with them being meaningless to you and hopefully that isn't the case.
Yeah I really enjoy the experience and I feel good afterwards but it is just that to me, just a really good, enjoyable experience but theres no deeper feeling to it other than that. It is just sex to me"
Yes, us too. We have the utmost respect for our casual sex partners but ascribe no deeper meaning to our encounters. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As long as there's friendliness I don't think other feelings need to be involved but then I'm part of a couple.
I do think that investing too much emotion in swinging partners leaves you vulnerable. "
I agree 100% with this!!! It takes both parties to be completely honest and open about it all from the start otherwise it will come back and cause issues |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex?
Does it mean absolutely nothing to you or just no deeper emotions? Do you feel pleasure, joy, happiness during and after a swinging encounter? I think people confuse meaningless sex with them being meaningless to you and hopefully that isn't the case.
Yeah I really enjoy the experience and I feel good afterwards but it is just that to me, just a really good, enjoyable experience but theres no deeper feeling to it other than that. It is just sex to me
Yes, us too. We have the utmost respect for our casual sex partners but ascribe no deeper meaning to our encounters. "
I really like the idea of being in a swinging relationship and love the idea of all the fun you can have together but then coming home to/with each other and having that extra bond together |
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"I guess I joined fab to partake in the stuff that I couldn't do on one to one meets.
Mainly group stuff or things that may be a bit too kinky for some people away from a swinging site.
I've met woman before away from fab, in relationships, nights out or through other dating sites so Wasn't really interested in doing one to one meets again. Maybe that's why I view it the way I do as just meaningless sex?
Does it mean absolutely nothing to you or just no deeper emotions? Do you feel pleasure, joy, happiness during and after a swinging encounter? I think people confuse meaningless sex with them being meaningless to you and hopefully that isn't the case.
Yeah I really enjoy the experience and I feel good afterwards but it is just that to me, just a really good, enjoyable experience but theres no deeper feeling to it other than that. It is just sex to me
Yes, us too. We have the utmost respect for our casual sex partners but ascribe no deeper meaning to our encounters.
I really like the idea of being in a swinging relationship and love the idea of all the fun you can have together but then coming home to/with each other and having that extra bond together "
We share a lot of experiences together, sex with other people is just one. I have to say that looking at your partner and smiling while you're enjoying being with another person is a thrill. |
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I think if all parties involved are in agreement then I wouldn't worry, women like to have sex just as much as men with no feelings involved...
IMO I don't think feelings as such should be involved, I'm part of a couple so to me it's just sex with someone else no feelings what so ever.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think if all parties involved are in agreement then I wouldn't worry, women like to have sex just as much as men with no feelings involved...
IMO I don't think feelings as such should be involved, I'm part of a couple so to me it's just sex with someone else no feelings what so ever.
"
Would you ever leave that couple to just carry on swinging? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think if all parties involved are in agreement then I wouldn't worry, women like to have sex just as much as men with no feelings involved...
IMO I don't think feelings as such should be involved, I'm part of a couple so to me it's just sex with someone else no feelings what so ever.
"
But I do completely agree with you that swinging is just sex with someone 3lse with no feelings at all |
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"Here's a question...
Would you sacrifice having something that deep and meaningful away from swinging to swing?
"
I would stop meeting someone if I thought I was getting feelings. Not quite the same thing but I'm not monogamous so I wouldn't give up group fun for 1 person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly everyone is different, swinging opinion and choice is personal!!
For me, to arrange a meet I need a connection not necessarily feelings in order to enjoy and relax with someone. Chance meeting i.e. couples room is different as there’s no anticipation or foreplay as such.
I would indeed end a relationship if it meant I had to change myself in order to keep. Always be yourself and do what suits you best.
Swinging is about your pleasure in all its glorious forms, be it in a couple or as a single
HAPPY SWINGING
 |
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"I think if all parties involved are in agreement then I wouldn't worry, women like to have sex just as much as men with no feelings involved...
IMO I don't think feelings as such should be involved, I'm part of a couple so to me it's just sex with someone else no feelings what so ever.
Would you ever leave that couple to just carry on swinging?"
Ey its (P) I'm part of a couple as you know. Me n my boyfriend was together b4 we started swinging together. We have regular meets which are fun/naughty and I would NEVER sleep with some1 if there was no connection,
Sex is fun/ making love is different. And if 1 of us wasn't happy in the swinging world which we joined together. We would both agree to stop. Hope that helps |
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An unavoidable part of the game sometimes. Maybe more so for FAB singles. Plus I think there are more grades/shades of love than we really recognise in our society. So it inevitable that sometimes miss matched levels of feeling may develop between people leading to disappointment/hurt to some extent. But rather than trying to pretend it's not there or avoid it happening in the first place we have to learn how to accept it, own it and manage it. And of course sometimes the feelings are not miss matched and actually turn out to be perfectly matched as turned out for me and my girl. Imagine if we had put barriers up to avoid the risk of hurt? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take the attitude of, I'm having a pleasurable social time with people I enjoy spending time with. I like it when meets turn into friendships and repeat meets, but realise it doesn't always happen. "
Same for me, friendship and building chemistry with regular meets is great, but the feelings are never stronger than that and I don't need them to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An unavoidable part of the game sometimes. Maybe more so for FAB singles. Plus I think there are more grades/shades of love than we really recognise in our society. So it inevitable that sometimes miss matched levels of feeling may develop between people leading to disappointment/hurt to some extent. But rather than trying to pretend it's not there or avoid it happening in the first place we have to learn how to accept it, own it and manage it. And of course sometimes the feelings are not miss matched and actually turn out to be perfectly matched as turned out for me and my girl. Imagine if we had put barriers up to avoid the risk of hurt?"
Exactly bud, just embrace being human, no pre defined way to do it but you cant just throw it away because it's not what you originally went for! |
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hahaha!!