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Meeting or not

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By *ownhamguy OP Man over a year ago

Battle

Hi. After a bit of advice

I've met a couple of girls off here but finding it very difficult

I appreciate that there are far more guys so you have a lot of choice

I consider myself an ok guy. It's very hard to stand out as a lot of messages get deleted straight away

I used to be on sexintheuk when it was good. Most adult sites are a rip off. This is not and I think most girls on here are pretty genuine. I've been to Eurekas once with a girl. Are clubs and socials the way forward? I'm planning to go to the next Hastings social

I hope I don't cum across as desperate. Just find it a bit frustrating

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find the title of your post confusing after reading your post. As I thought you were going to be asking whether or not you should be meeting.

Anyway, answering your question: it all depends what you are after. Networking, socialising with like-minded people- yes, socials and clubs are the way forward, as they allow your personality to shine.

If you want loads of sex with random people- no. As yes, in a club you might get lucky but it's not a given. Socials are normally just that, socials. A chance to meet people who are in this lifestyle as well, put faces to usernames. And to mingle.

If your expectations when you joined this site were to be having plenty of meets, I'd adjust them if I were you. This is not a quick hook up site, and people use it the way they want. Some are only here for chat on forums, some to just perv the pics, some for chat rooms, some for dating people of similar outlook to sex as them, some for longer term FB/Fwb, and then some for one-off hook ups. This website caters for all.

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By *ownhamguy OP Man over a year ago

Battle

Thank you

I appreciate that

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple over a year ago

London

"It's very hard to stand out"

This I do not agree with. If it is hard to stand out in a sea of mediocrity then one will struggle

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By *ownhamguy OP Man over a year ago

Battle

I don't agree with that

To stand out in a first message is hard

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple over a year ago

London

"I don't agree with that

To stand out in a first message is hard

I'm a woman and I'm telling you that it is really easy for a decent message to stand out from all the crap ones.

Do a forum search for Profile Advice and you'll find that the message is only a small part of what makes a guy seem worth replying to.

Complaining in the forums is quite the turn off too

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By *ownhamguy OP Man over a year ago

Battle

Not complaining but just saying how hard it is. But thanks for the advice

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's as hard or easy as you want to make it OP - and essentially comes down to three things Attitude, Approach and Expectations - get any of those wrong and you'll find it difficult, get them right, or find the right ones for you, and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your experience and view of the site.

To expand on each of those a little:

Attitude - adopt a negative attitude and see things negatively, and your experience will be largely negative - be positive however, and show a positive, respectful and considerate attitude towards others, including those you'd like to meet, and things will be more positive.

Approach - firstly one of the first things anyone will look at, before even reading a message, will be your profile and pics - so make sure they're the best shop window for you that they can possibly be, make it so people are enticed into your shop, not scurrying past to get to the brightly lit one down the road with the better window display. Next up, make sure any messages you send are polite and respectful, and tailored to the recipient and entice them to want to find out more about you. Finally if you find the "cold messaging" approach doesn't work for you, look at other ways you can approach things - that might be via clubs and group socials, or getting more involved in the forums or chat rooms, all of which are great ways to get to know people, and them you.

Expectations - set them correctly - if you think just having a profile is an instant pass to unlimited sex, you have them set wrong, you need to lower them to the lowest possible setting, and then lower them another notch.

As a single guy on here you're part of a huge group that outnumber all the others by a fair number (about 10:1) but for those guys that truly "get" the site, that imbalance pretty much disappears - and whether you are in that group or not is entirely within your hands by making changes to the way you approach the site - as I said there are no guarantees, but you will find your experience is loads better

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By *JohnMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I'm a woman and I'm telling you that it is really easy for a decent message to stand out from all the crap ones."

I'm not a woman, but I've spent a bit of time with a few, and have seen some of what gets sent to them. The bar is surprisingly low.

If you can write in readable English and don't open with your most extreme twisted fantasy, you're ahead of 95% of the competition.

I once got a meet (another site, many years ago) because I could use punctuation properly. (OK, there was a lot more to it than that, but that's what she told me, and that's the story I'm sticking with. She liked my semicolon)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agree with op, it can be hard to write and tailor a message, when often a females profile is space.

I try and use humour, put something catchy in the title of the message and don't mention anything sexual. Bgs spa in Brighton can be good fun. Good luck op

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am actually starting to think clubs are the way forward for most single guys. Certainly I think the difficulty level is lower, but it requires more testicular fortitude.

We've never been very good at approaching in clubs, which is to say we have always bottled out and have literally never done it. But actually we got a nice surprise on Friday when we actually got talking to a single female by chance, without intending to approach, and our casual offer was positively received. Didn't end up playing because we had left it too late in the evening but it was a huge confidence boost. Made us think that perhaps that's the way forward, we can be almost certain that if we had approached online we'd have been dismissed.

This was then reinforced when a meet that had been arranged for weeks with a verified user was ghosted on the next day. She still hasn't given any response to our question as to what happened, just decided to ghost and decided as single females on here usually do that manners were beneath her.

Honestly mate I think you might find club approaches are your best bet. Fab at this point is for the forums and for chatting with anyone you happen to meet first at a club. As a way of actually meeting anyone it's pretty much dead unless you're Channing Tatum rocking a third leg.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're looking to meet girls in your profile. Aged 18-55. Not sure every woman would like to be referred to as a girl.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

I think clubs and socials are a good call. In my experience on the scene people don't come across the same on FAB as they do when you meet them in the flesh. Face to face is always the best in my experience. Plus in a club they may be more open to playing in the spur of the moment once meeting you for real than arranging something premeditated.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I think clubs and socials are a good call. In my experience on the scene people don't come across the same on FAB as they do when you meet them in the flesh. Face to face is always the best in my experience. Plus in a club they may be more open to playing in the spur of the moment once meeting you for real than arranging something premeditated."

I don't actually think there is a single "one size fits all" approach - it's what works best for the individual as I suggested above.

Yes, for some clubs and/or group socials may well be the answer, but they can be pretty daunting too, particularly if you're not an outgoing, self-confident person who will talk to anyone.

Some will equally find they find what they want by sending messages "cold" to people they like the look of, others will find using the chat rooms or forums works for them - for others a combination of all those will work.

The key is, as an individual, finding the approach that works for you

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By *ostenosMan over a year ago

Sowerby Bridge

"I don't agree with that

To stand out in a first message is hard

I'm a woman and I'm telling you that it is really easy for a decent message to stand out from all the crap ones.

Do a forum search for Profile Advice and you'll find that the message is only a small part of what makes a guy seem worth replying to.

Complaining in the forums is quite the turn off too

I follow all the forum advice and listen to all the complaints women post daily about men and what they'd actually want yet I still get ignored 99.9% of the time. There's literally nothing one can do to win.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Socials and clubs are both good for networking.

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By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

"I'm a woman and I'm telling you that it is really easy for a decent message to stand out from all the crap ones.

I'm not a woman, but I've spent a bit of time with a few, and have seen some of what gets sent to them. The bar is surprisingly low.

If you can write in readable English and don't open with your most extreme twisted fantasy, you're ahead of 95% of the competition.

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