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Single lady looking for more than sex
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are amazing and I’m sure you will find what you are looking for on here or elsewhere because you look and sound really nice so you are a big catch in my eyes xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just read your profile and it states clearly, what you are looking for. Having a friend with benefits, to enjoy meals out and sex has always worked best for me.
I have seen on other posts, people looking at finding a a deeper relationship with a fellow swinger. Maybe that would work for you. Good luck op |
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You are now looking for the holy grail. NSA can be found in abundance on here and in the scene. Finding more than that is hard work. Get ready for the influx of 'you are amazing' bullshit messages telling you what you want to hear. Whilst relationships can be found here, I doubt fab or the scene is the ideal place to look. Maybe try more traditional date sites? |
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play "
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
Actually the definition of swinging is having sex with numerous or multiple people. That's exactly what she's looking for, she just wants someone to share it with.
Also, where in the site rules does it say she can't look for something more meaningful? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel for you OP and tbh I often feel the same. Yes I’ve had great fun in the short time I’ve been here but “great fun” doesn’t cuddle you at night or ask how your day has been does it. |
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
To be fair it's more than just a swinging hook up site, it's a swinging lifestyle site. So there is no reason why us who are that way inclined shouldn't look from within the community for our matching perv. Many of us have (my self included) found our match on here or within the scene. Plus I see more and more profiles now that state they are happy with finding playmates but open to finding someone/thing more serious with the right person. To me it makes far more sense if you want to stay in the lifestyle to look within the scene for a partner, rather than chance someone you find in the vanilla world turns out to want the same as you. I say more power to people who look for something more on here. |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
|
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers "
Most seasoned swingers! You have no idea of how long I / we having been swinging for? We are seasoned swingers, we prefer sex with strangers that ARE compleate strangers. |
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
That's your interpretation and what works for you.
It's not everybody's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
MrD
First of all don't leave unless you really want to give it up because you will not be happy or fulfilled in life. If anything use your mail filters to temporarily block everyone from contacting you to give yourself some space to think + rather than being flooded with people contacting you just spend a little time browsing the site, searching out people's profiles, reading the forums etc without the constant messages before making the decision to leave.
.
Isn't what you are looking for more of a fuck buddy scenario where you would have a closer attachment to the person than a friend but not as far as a relationship? (like you say a relationship with multiple people)
... and aren't these the type of profiles on here where people list themselves as couples when they are both in separate relationships but play together (and with each other)?
.
If so the type of person to best help you would be these fuck buddy couples. If some comment on here great, if not you might want to try finding some of these profiles (there are many) + contacting them just to talk, not to try to meet up etc. It wouldn't matter how far away they were or if you are attracted to them if you are just looking to talk + be friends, increasing your chances of finding helpful people.
.
As for your profile, you clearly outline what you are looking for. However if you would like some constructive criticism, personally for me the feeling I get when I read your profile is that it is very clinical, which is fine for one offs with guys or meeting couples. However because of what you are seeking, that closer more emotionally intimate long-term connection, it might need to have more of a fun, friendly + approachable feel to it.
.
I hope what I am trying to say makes sense + it is only my personal opinion based on what I understand you are looking for. Both of which could be wrong, but I hope in some way may be helpful  |
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers
Most seasoned swingers! You have no idea of how long I / we having been swinging for? We are seasoned swingers, we prefer sex with strangers that ARE compleate strangers. "
I've been on and off the scene since before Fab was built and you don't speak for me either. Yours is just one way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
"
I guess I didn't get the point them  |
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers
Most seasoned swingers! You have no idea of how long I / we having been swinging for? We are seasoned swingers, we prefer sex with strangers that ARE compleate strangers.
I've been on and off the scene since before Fab was built and you don't speak for me either.
Yours is just one way. "
The irony of their comment is that they're also looking for single men and women, who by their own definition aren't singers.
It's going to be  day I feel.... |
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"Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
"
I’ve just read your profile this morning Izzy, and think it reads well, putting across the ‘dating’ aspect quite clearly 
I’m glad you’ve explained your preference on cock size, as simply stating “VWE/big cocks only” puts off many blokes (certainly me), as we feel like we’re being rated against a scoresheet
I think you’re more likely to find the person you’re looking for in Fab, than the club scene. My reasoning; reading verifications can give you an idea of what kind of person the profile relates to, and arranging social meets (pseudo-dating) without the expectations of sex, is also easier. Clubs, as you know, are about the here and now
All the best |
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"Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
I’ve just read your profile this morning Izzy, and think it reads well, putting across the ‘dating’ aspect quite clearly
I’m glad you’ve explained your preference on cock size, as simply stating “VWE/big cocks only” puts off many blokes (certainly me), as we feel like we’re being rated against a scoresheet
I think you’re more likely to find the person you’re looking for in Fab, than the club scene. My reasoning; reading verifications can give you an idea of what kind of person the profile relates to, and arranging social meets (pseudo-dating) without the expectations of sex, is also easier. Clubs, as you know, are about the here and now
All the best "
I thought the same to be honest.
I think it sets out what the OPs looking for quite clearly.
I also think what she's looking for isn't unrealistic or unlikely to be achieved on Fab.
Fab is inclusive. There's something here for everyone. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
I’ve just read your profile this morning Izzy, and think it reads well, putting across the ‘dating’ aspect quite clearly
I’m glad you’ve explained your preference on cock size, as simply stating “VWE/big cocks only” puts off many blokes (certainly me), as we feel like we’re being rated against a scoresheet
I think you’re more likely to find the person you’re looking for in Fab, than the club scene. My reasoning; reading verifications can give you an idea of what kind of person the profile relates to, and arranging social meets (pseudo-dating) without the expectations of sex, is also easier. Clubs, as you know, are about the here and now
All the best "
Agreed, I think it quite clearly states what she wants. |
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By *xelf787Man
over a year ago
Chorlton, Manchester |
Hi Izzy yes it is really nice having someone you can swing with, perhaps having separate fun and group fun with them and also being about to go to dinner with them and then have good quality intense 1 on 1 with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im looking for similar too but I’m finding both here and in vanilla life men are seeing or hearing what I’m looking for and then just lying about wanting the same to get sex. It’s bloody hard work .. I have now hidden all my pics and removed my profile tex because men were messaging basically re wording my profile as what they’re looking for and this place leaves me so jaded Iv been on and off for a couple of years .. bloody fab can’t live with it or without it . Good luck in your search I hope you find what you seek .. gives the rest of us who want more a little hope !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers
Most seasoned swingers! You have no idea of how long I / we having been swinging for? We are seasoned swingers, we prefer sex with strangers that ARE compleate strangers. "
We have been swinging for nearly 13 years and most people we meet don't want the same as you. As a lot of the comments disagreeing with your post shows |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
I think the couples responding that they like to just play not socialise are forgetting that I AM SINGLE
Swinging as a couple is a completely different thing as you already have what I am looking for!
Homer Simpson’s catch phrase comes to mind |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I think the couples responding that they like to just play not socialise are forgetting that I AM SINGLE
Swinging as a couple is a completely different thing as you already have what I am looking for!
Homer Simpson’s catch phrase comes to mind "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If everyone did and liked the same thing it would be a boring world, to me you take this site how you like, yes it’s a swinging site and swinging means fucking other people within the swinging lifestyle, but some maybe looking for more with one person and having them as a fuck buddie so they can enjoy the swinging lifestyle yet go for a drink and a meal together as friends and combine the two. It’s a free world and you can do what you like within reason |
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That's the beauty of the internet and sites like this - there's something for everyone! Your proposition Izzy sounds fantastic, lovely profile and pictures, only wish I was in a position to proceed!
Maybe take a break for a while, fresh eyes and all that - may just help! It's frustrating when you can't find what you're looking for, especially when you actually know what it is - at least you know and that does make it easier!!
Keep your 'recruitment line' open x x
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I can confirm that what you are after is possible, though not easy to find. I met my lover/ fuck buddy/ partner at a club earlier this year.
I wasn't looking for a long term partner, but we just get on great. But we still swing seperately, as well as together.
Regarding your profile. I would consider hiding some of your verifications. My initial thoughts were that you have lots of meets and it might put some guys off , if they want a long term swinging partner.
That's possibly an old fashioned view, but I think that would affect guys.
But your profile does state clearly what you are after.....But I am not convinced people actually read them a lot of the time.
All the best in your quest. X |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
Thanks guys
I have just taken out some parts of my profile text and will see how it goes.
As most single ladies will agree ticking “ looking for men “ is like asking for a job!!!
Not really used the meet me option before so trying that out
Oh and yes I have tried “ conventional sites “ - not actually paid for any but when I tested out those that do charge to message I didn’t get any matches less than 90 minutes drive away so didn’t seem worth pursuing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just do what you want. A lot of long term couples have met on here and if it suits you just carry on! Personally I've always gone for an ongoing swinging relationship from here as it suits the things I like best to build a level of trust. I've been extremely lucky in the past with this sort of thing but am very patient I actually chatted to a girl here for a year before meeting! But this lead to a deep and meaningful relationship which went on for a long time. Only interrupted by an onset of an illness. The moral being. Hang on in and make selected meets with those looking for the same? Swinging partnership?
Best of luck! |
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A single lady, on a swingers site, looking for something more meaningful.
A relationship, partner to swing with?
Along comes a couple and poohpahs her idea.
This (in their opinion) is a place to meet people, complete strangers for sex only not a 'dating site'
Oh the irony!
Where exactly, do they suggest that if us singles would like to find a partner to swing with as a couple look then?
Not sure there's an option for that on Match dot com
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play "
If you allow me to stay in your pretty lake house, then I’m down for it all
I can also do your cucumber trick with my boy pussy. There’s no need for the condom if you shave the skin off it self lubricates haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Actually most seasoned swingers prefer friends first and prefer sex with people that aren't complete strangers
Most seasoned swingers! You have no idea of how long I / we having been swinging for? We are seasoned swingers, we prefer sex with strangers that ARE compleate strangers. "
I agree with you. The majority are using this website like plenty of fish. It’s filled with the emotional needy and lonely. It’s unfortunate, I just want a gang bang, a couple of Oedipus type harems and water sport parties. Everyone else is looking for love |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
"A single lady, on a swingers site, looking for something more meaningful.
A relationship, partner to swing with?
Along comes a couple and poohpahs her idea.
This (in their opinion) is a place to meet people, complete strangers for sex only not a 'dating site'
Oh the irony!
Where exactly, do they suggest that if us singles would like to find a partner to swing with as a couple look then?
Not sure there's an option for that on Match dot com
Exactly xxx
"
|
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"A single lady, on a swingers site, looking for something more meaningful.
A relationship, partner to swing with?
Along comes a couple and poohpahs her idea.
This (in their opinion) is a place to meet people, complete strangers for sex only not a 'dating site'
Oh the irony!
Where exactly, do they suggest that if us singles would like to find a partner to swing with as a couple look then?
Not sure there's an option for that on Match dot com
"
A while back I questioned a couple with exactly the same pious attitude.
Turns out they met on Fab when they both had singles profiles.
That was a "you couldn't make this shit up" day. |
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By *iss-louWoman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Thanks to all the people who get my point- I am choosing to ignore those who don’t.
Interesting that I sparked a debate about what this site is about when what I asked for was help with a profile re write.
"
Ive just rewritten mine if you want a look? I want similar |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
No, thats a hook up. Swinging is about the social side of things too, dating sites have turned into hook up sites, not worth bothering with. NSA , completely different from swinging.Many have met and formed relationships on here, some even married too. People are allowed to run their profiles how they see fit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
No, thats a hook up. Swinging is about the social side of things too, dating sites have turned into hook up sites, not worth bothering with. NSA , completely different from swinging.Many have met and formed relationships on here, some even married too. People are allowed to run their profiles how they see fit."
No one is denying the social side of swinging nor hooking up. Though, looking for an emotional connection on a site that's dedicated to promiscuous activities is counter productive.
If you desire a partner to be promiscuous with, the only way that you shall ever find it: is by meeting people. By allowing everyone in on what you want, means that they'll try and live up to it, just to get the goods. You can't rush nor expect "emotional attachments", it's something that grows.
Though, there are plenty that shall take you up on your offer, not many men would turn down sex and a nice lake side home to play in. I certainly wouldn't. If you were to take care of me and fit my bills, I'm yours
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More power to you for saying what you want, how you use this site is up to you, as long as you make it clear.
As for hiding verifications as some have advised, really! Shouldn’t you be avoiding the judgemental who are maybe put off by loads of veris? Are these people you would avoid anyway? |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
I think the comment implying men will do and say what ever it takes to get into a woman’s knickers is spot on. It certainly fits with my experience of Fab and life in general.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the couples responding that they like to just play not socialise are forgetting that I AM SINGLE
Swinging as a couple is a completely different thing as you already have what I am looking for!
Homer Simpson’s catch phrase comes to mind "
MrD
Actually as a couple + going by what other couples we have spoken to say, our "experience" has been opposite.
Most single people are the ones who want nsa sex with strangers + it is the couples, like us, who are interested in the social aspect of swinging, making friends, etc.
That doesn't apply to all, especially the singles we have picked (for that reason).
To us, swinging can mean one off, clubs, or people you become regular swinging friends with. These can become real friendships that you spend time, talk + socialise with (such as going out drinking, to the cinema, girlie shopping etc) outside of the bedroom.
However, one very big difference between couples + singles in this regard is that a couple are already in a relationship + you need to be careful about the "closeness" because you don't want to develop emotional feelings + it come between you + your partner. It takes much more trust + openness.
This is one reason why some swingers would prefer one offs with strangers to avoid this scenario, along with other reasons like preference for one off's or simply not wanting friends in that way keeping their friendships outside the swinging scene.
All of which though are still equally valid forms or swinging, the same as trying to argue a couple who only swings together are not swingers if they dont swing solo etc.
The same goes for singles. Single men/women can definitely be swingers. It is more a mentality + lifestyle than anything else, whatever form that takes (although I personally argue there are a lot of singles on here that aren't really swingers - hence the mentality thing).
So for you personally I would say you could be having trouble finding what you are looking for because there are swingers who keep their distance emotionally as I previously mentioned. It may be because they split from a swinging couple, they are used to swinging with couples who keep distant, that they personally like to keep that distance as a swinger, or numerous other reasons.
However that doesn't mean you won't find what you are looking for, just that it is harder to do so because there are many different ways people like to treat swinging + you need to find people who best match what you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, you certainly have raised a debate!!
More chance of Brexit being sorted before your slight dilema lol.
Seriously though, your needs are clear on your profile but, your preference not to hear from single males may well harden your achievements.
Your requests of food party foreplay fun and future meets is of a massive appeal.
Problem on this site is most want to play the field and are not really interested in revisiting old ground, if you excuse my bluntness!!
Personally your needs are ideal, however everyone will have their own opinion good and bad hence the forum debate.
As they say you have to kiss the frogs before the Prince appears xx
Good luck in your quest. In the meantime use me lol xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the couples responding that they like to just play not socialise are forgetting that I AM SINGLE
Swinging as a couple is a completely different thing as you already have what I am looking for!
Homer Simpson’s catch phrase comes to mind
MrD
Actually as a couple + going by what other couples we have spoken to say, our "experience" has been opposite.
Most single people are the ones who want nsa sex with strangers + it is the couples, like us, who are interested in the social aspect of swinging, making friends, etc.
That doesn't apply to all, especially the singles we have picked (for that reason).
To us, swinging can mean one off, clubs, or people you become regular swinging friends with. These can become real friendships that you spend time, talk + socialise with (such as going out drinking, to the cinema, girlie shopping etc) outside of the bedroom.
However, one very big difference between couples + singles in this regard is that a couple are already in a relationship + you need to be careful about the "closeness" because you don't want to develop emotional feelings + it come between you + your partner. It takes much more trust + openness.
This is one reason why some swingers would prefer one offs with strangers to avoid this scenario, along with other reasons like preference for one off's or simply not wanting friends in that way keeping their friendships outside the swinging scene.
All of which though are still equally valid forms or swinging, the same as trying to argue a couple who only swings together are not swingers if they dont swing solo etc.
The same goes for singles. Single men/women can definitely be swingers. It is more a mentality + lifestyle than anything else, whatever form that takes (although I personally argue there are a lot of singles on here that aren't really swingers - hence the mentality thing).
So for you personally I would say you could be having trouble finding what you are looking for because there are swingers who keep their distance emotionally as I previously mentioned. It may be because they split from a swinging couple, they are used to swinging with couples who keep distant, that they personally like to keep that distance as a swinger, or numerous other reasons.
However that doesn't mean you won't find what you are looking for, just that it is harder to do so because there are many different ways people like to treat swinging + you need to find people who best match what you want"
I think that you hit the nail on the head in regards to emotions. I'd be worried of both myself or another falling into such a trap. It can happen easily, no matter how unlikely you imagine it to happen. |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
Thanks all
After all the feedback I am putting swinging on the back burner for a while - regarding it as an occasional activity rather than an on going lifestyle.
I think that a man actually admitted what I had been feeling again and again when meeting men both here and on more conventional websites- ie men will do what it takes to get laid was the turning point. !
I have for a while only shown verifications from people I am still happy to meet and play with so I am not sure what you mean about revisiting old ground.
Clearly it would not be appropriate to discuss these relationships further!!!
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"
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers. "
Patronising much?!
It’s not JUST about NSA sex with strangers. I never play with someone I’ve not met before, I like to know there is a connection, some banter, the ability to hold a conversation & have a laugh. I find that it leads to much better sex.
I can walk into any bar & find a stranger to fuck. That’s not swinging, that’s a Saturday night out for a massive number of teens & 20’s and older!!
Swinging is a lifestyle, it’s different experiences, it’s an attitude to sex & sexuality. It’s fetishes, kinks, exploring different dynamics. It’s a lot of things (including just fucking strangers if that’s your bag)
There is nothing wrong with a FWB or fuck buddy to enjoy it with! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the people on here want fast easy sex, they are not here for relationships (most already have one!). I’m not sure it’s the best place to look for a meaningful relationship but anything is possible I guess. It’ll probably take a long time but good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wish you luck. if you're looking for more meaningful friendships, maybe cut the number of verifications
I can’t message you. Can you message me please. "
Maybe their filters stop you from messaging, which automatically means they aren’t interested?
You’re not supposed to use the forum to contact people who have blocked you, in this case, blocked people your age. |
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"
Thats becuse this is a swinging site NOT a dating site. Lots of horny fun = swinging. Frustrated meaningless "inserts sex here". Thats cos its a swinging site. Not a dating site! Swinging is NSA sex with strangers.
Patronising much?!
It’s not JUST about NSA sex with strangers. I never play with someone I’ve not met before, I like to know there is a connection, some banter, the ability to hold a conversation & have a laugh. I find that it leads to much better sex.
I can walk into any bar & find a stranger to fuck. That’s not swinging, that’s a Saturday night out for a massive number of teens & 20’s and older!!
Swinging is a lifestyle, it’s different experiences, it’s an attitude to sex & sexuality. It’s fetishes, kinks, exploring different dynamics. It’s a lot of things (including just fucking strangers if that’s your bag)
There is nothing wrong with a FWB or fuck buddy to enjoy it with!"
Agree with all you write. One question - why am I always in the wrong bar? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you’ll do just fine on here & will find what you’re looking for.
Many on here are looking for NSA with as many people as possible, as quickly as possible. But no doubt there are many looking for something a little more meaningful!
I’m not a fan of mechanical “fuck & go” sex myself and prefer to stimulate the mind & vice versa first. I find sex is much more enjoyable with someone you’ve got to know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im looking for similar too but I’m finding both here and in vanilla life men are seeing or hearing what I’m looking for and then just lying about wanting the same to get sex. It’s bloody hard work .. I have now hidden all my pics and removed my profile tex because men were messaging basically re wording my profile as what they’re looking for and this place leaves me so jaded Iv been on and off for a couple of years .. bloody fab can’t live with it or without it . Good luck in your search I hope you find what you seek .. gives the rest of us who want more a little hope ! "
I find this too and then later on the guys start feeling Iran not for them and think they can come crawling back and then I have the upper hand and the pleasure of rejecting them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first line in your profile is saying you lied about your age to get round filters. Doesn't make you sound trustworthy. "
Eek. Didn’t read the profile.
I agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im looking for similar too but I’m finding both here and in vanilla life men are seeing or hearing what I’m looking for and then just lying about wanting the same to get sex. It’s bloody hard work .. I have now hidden all my pics and removed my profile tex because men were messaging basically re wording my profile as what they’re looking for and this place leaves me so jaded Iv been on and off for a couple of years .. bloody fab can’t live with it or without it . Good luck in your search I hope you find what you seek .. gives the rest of us who want more a little hope !
I find this too and then later on the guys start feeling Iran not for them and think they can come crawling back and then I have the upper hand and the pleasure of rejecting them "
T’is a little known psychological tactic referred to as mirroring
This is why it’s best to not divulge too deeply into what you’re looking for. Allow it to organically come out, this way there’s no way for neither party to manipulate the other.
Op, you shouldn’t lie about your age either, I have the hots for women in their 50’s more so than those in their 40’s
I wish you luck in your quest. Don’t give up, always be pursuing your dream! |
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"I think you’ll do just fine on here & will find what you’re looking for.
Many on here are looking for NSA with as many people as possible, as quickly as possible. But no doubt there are many looking for something a little more meaningful!
I’m not a fan of mechanical “fuck & go” sex myself and prefer to stimulate the mind & vice versa first. I find sex is much more enjoyable with someone you’ve got to know! "
I agree completely, and so would my fwb’s (yes, plural )  |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Hi OP , your post resonated with me as I have just changed my profile after an apparent fallout with a FWB I had who was quite happy with “NSA”
but then wasn’t as happy when he saw that I was seeing other people... 
Feel free to take a look at my profile. I am interested in sex and more- effectively a boyfriend would be my ultimate goal. I’ll have fun along the way finding him though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are now looking for the holy grail. NSA can be found in abundance on here and in the scene. Finding more than that is hard work. Get ready for the influx of 'you are amazing' bullshit messages telling you what you want to hear. Whilst relationships can be found here, I doubt fab or the scene is the ideal place to look. Maybe try more traditional date sites?"
This exactly! Too much of a " next" mentality and happily say whatever gets them what they want then ignore/ dissapear.
Men on Fab want sex the easiest way they can get it.
Rarely will a man want the friendship/ social times etc as ongoing/relationship first and for most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single lady, on a swingers site, looking for something more meaningful.
A relationship, partner to swing with?
Along comes a couple and poohpahs her idea.
This (in their opinion) is a place to meet people, complete strangers for sex only not a 'dating site'
Oh the irony!
Where exactly, do they suggest that if us singles would like to find a partner to swing with as a couple look then?
Not sure there's an option for that on Match dot com
"
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
Yes I have had the- I want NSA sex but oh no I don’t like the idea that you might see other people- several times- vanilla sites and Fab !
Men !!!!
And they wonder why men outnumber women on Fab and just about every dating site!!! |
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By *ustKatyWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I think the couples responding that they like to just play not socialise are forgetting that I AM SINGLE
Swinging as a couple is a completely different thing as you already have what I am looking for!
Homer Simpson’s catch phrase comes to mind "
Brilliant Izzy!! (Just catching up..) 100% agree. There’s a definite divide over what’s ‘right’ n ‘wrong’ in a Swinging Lifestyle but I’d say the only right answer is what’s right for you! I totally get what you want because I’m exactly the same and you won’t find it on a dating site!!
Keep doing what you’re doing, spell it out and enjoy xx |
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By *ustKatyWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"A single lady, on a swingers site, looking for something more meaningful.
A relationship, partner to swing with?
Along comes a couple and poohpahs her idea.
This (in their opinion) is a place to meet people, complete strangers for sex only not a 'dating site'
Oh the irony!
Where exactly, do they suggest that if us singles would like to find a partner to swing with as a couple look then?
Not sure there's an option for that on Match dot com
"
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Maybe there should be an option like on dating sites:
Looking for one off hook ups
Looking for a swinging relationship
Don’t know
I have definitely found the relationship side a couple of times from Fab, so live in hope of finding it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I have had the- I want NSA sex but oh no I don’t like the idea that you might see other people- several times- vanilla sites and Fab !
Men !!!!
And they wonder why men outnumber women on Fab and just about every dating site!!! "
I've no problem with my swinging partner playing with other guys. The only proviso I have is I have some say in who, and I get to go along too! It's just a control thing for me... |
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"I saw a movie once where the characters used a site that had a list of what you were looking for - one of the choices was DTF "
I think POF used to have a 'casual' setting but now it's 'friend' to 'marriage'
Tinder used to be purely for DTF, but seems to be a popularity contest now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I have had the- I want NSA sex but oh no I don’t like the idea that you might see other people- several times- vanilla sites and Fab !
Men !!!!
And they wonder why men outnumber women on Fab and just about every dating site!!! "
Those guys are often married too. They want you available in their scant free time, but are not happy sharing, even though you would be.
Not just my observations btw. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are now looking for the holy grail. NSA can be found in abundance on here and in the scene. Finding more than that is hard work. Get ready for the influx of 'you are amazing' bullshit messages telling you what you want to hear. Whilst relationships can be found here, I doubt fab or the scene is the ideal place to look. Maybe try more traditional date sites?
This exactly! Too much of a " next" mentality and happily say whatever gets them what they want then ignore/ dissapear.
Men on Fab want sex the easiest way they can get it.
Rarely will a man want the friendship/ social times etc as ongoing/relationship first and for most. "
There are men out there that want this, but not many and they know how scarce they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel the same.. plenty of NSA on offer but when you'd rather be engaged in more something more meaningful with someone open to the scene it seems impossible to find"
totally agree.
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"I saw a movie once where the characters used a site that had a list of what you were looking for - one of the choices was DTF
I think POF used to have a 'casual' setting but now it's 'friend' to 'marriage'
Tinder used to be purely for DTF, but seems to be a popularity contest now."
Hello. What’s a DTF? Thank you. |
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"I saw a movie once where the characters used a site that had a list of what you were looking for - one of the choices was DTF
I think POF used to have a 'casual' setting but now it's 'friend' to 'marriage'
Tinder used to be purely for DTF, but seems to be a popularity contest now.
Hello. What’s a DTF? Thank you. "
Thanks for asking cos I had no clue either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is what I am looking for.
Bit hard to find when most men are looking for a quick fck or bj whilst on fab looking for next victim lol sorry my mistake, next woman . They are not looking for regular more nsa . Next ......
I sympathise with you op . Wish there were more men looking for this . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is what I am looking for.
Bit hard to find when most men are looking for a quick fck or bj whilst on fab looking for next victim lol sorry my mistake, next woman . They are not looking for regular more nsa . Next ......
I sympathise with you op . Wish there were more men looking for this ."
By the way I'm not looking to date a man . I dont want to be exclusive to a man and I don't want a man telling me what I should be doing in my life . Just need someone to be honest if they have sex with another person .
And we can continue the good times together . |
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"This is what I am looking for.
Bit hard to find when most men are looking for a quick fck or bj whilst on fab looking for next victim lol sorry my mistake, next woman . They are not looking for regular more nsa . Next ......
I sympathise with you op . Wish there were more men looking for this .
By the way I'm not looking to date a man . I dont want to be exclusive to a man and I don't want a man telling me what I should be doing in my life . Just need someone to be honest if they have sex with another person .
And we can continue the good times together . "
This. |
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By *zzy69 OP Woman
over a year ago
The Lake District |
After being told I had too many verifications when I was only showing a selected 15-20 I decided to show them all and start a new thread.
Have cut out the text I had built up to put off idiots and have just put the filters on for nearly everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to find this, a good relationship but with the fun of swinging as part of it, in whatever form or shape that would be.
I did think I had found it a year or so ago but alas now looking again.
Would love to chat and explore more with anyone that wishes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After being told I had too many verifications when I was only showing a selected 15-20 I decided to show them all and start a new thread.
Have cut out the text I had built up to put off idiots and have just put the filters on for nearly everyone"
Watching the forum with interest, read the profile, and it is clear. As a guy it sounds like a relationship with out living together. Good luck op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After being told I had too many verifications when I was only showing a selected 15-20 I decided to show them all and start a new thread.
Have cut out the text I had built up to put off idiots and have just put the filters on for nearly everyone"
Has it made a difference? |
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I love that this thread exists.. because the truth is if you are a men individual with a soul after you have tried everything like I did… it boils down to the quality of the people that you want to meet going forward and the depth on the connection you are able to establish.. I’m not taking about family and children I’m merely talking about connecting at a deeper level and better sex is only a consequence… anyone else shares my point of view.. |
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By *host63Man 41 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"I am about to rewrite my profile yet again but thought I would get some advice first.
I won’t repeat what is on there now but essentially I like vanilla but with all the extras of swinging too - for example meet up for dinner then onto a party or club- happy to spend this part of the evening as a couple or play separately then back to a decent hotel for a bit of 1:1 time or a hedonistic afternoon at my house ( 4 bed detached in the Lakes) maybe with some friends then dinner and a little more play before falling asleep together .
Ok I have a preference for big cocks -I work most weekends and won’t tolerate dick heads but surely....
Anyway at the moment I am finding I have lots of horny play but it’s not working for me . Considering leaving the scene altogether rather than feel frustrated by meaningless play "
I would love this too but it's a needle in a haystack |
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