FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Rejection

Rejection

By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’ve not been rejected. You’re just not what they’re looking for at this time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/19 19:46:23]

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By *irky_coupleCouple over a year ago

kirky

No such thing on here. Suck it up and move on is the only way.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"You’ve not been rejected. You’re just not what they’re looking for at this time. "

Thanks it's just tough to know what to do that's right.

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By *adeiteWoman over a year ago

Staffordshire

You've only been here 3 weeks. What exactly were your intentions when you joined the site. What did you think was going to happen? There's 100s of guys for every 1 woman on here. You just need to stand out from the crowd

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"You've only been here 3 weeks. What exactly were your intentions when you joined the site. What did you think was going to happen? There's 100s of guys for every 1 woman on here. You just need to stand out from the crowd

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *iscean MaleMan over a year ago

Darlaston

Send a message.. delete it from your sent items and expect nothing.

Good luck fella

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop sending messages. That way you don't get rejected.

It's worked for me

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?"

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Suck it up buttercup, and try and try again if that fails try again

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By *orbidden eastMan over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

That’s how it is for us guys on here bud. you just need to get on with it. It’s just the law of ratios on here

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Suck it up buttercup, and try and try again if that fails try again "

Haha nice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck it up buttercup, and try and try again if that fails try again "

It's like the Olympics on here

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Suck it up buttercup, and try and try again if that fails try again

It's like the Olympics on here

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

This is a Swingers site, not a dating app. There are better apps for quick meets. If you want to succeed, get to swingers clubs and events near you. Where people actually get to meet the person behind the profile.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

I get that but I'm not looking for quick one off meets it says that on my profile.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Your attitude is your problem.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck it up buttercup, and try and try again if that fails try again

It's like the Olympics on here

What do you mean?"

Not sure .. Just one of those moments, I thought and typed at the same time..

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Your attitude is your problem. "

I doubt it. Like i said I'm always polite in an intro but when nobody ever gets back to you how do you not develop an attitude?

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all. "

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Your attitude is your problem.

I doubt it. Like i said I'm always polite in an intro but when nobody ever gets back to you how do you not develop an attitude?"

It's been 3 weeks!

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Your attitude is your problem.

I doubt it. Like i said I'm always polite in an intro but when nobody ever gets back to you how do you not develop an attitude?

It's been 3 weeks!"

ok then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on"

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right."

Yeah whatever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Although it's sometimes difficult. Try not to take it personally. Clubs are always a good way to get out there and meet people.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Women do get turned down.

Has every woman you've messaged said no thanks? If they've simply not replied you haven't been rejected.

You've only been here three weeks, I suspect you'll need to reassess your expectations.

You've not asked for profile advice so we can't offer any.

Compare your profile and pictures to some of the guys who get a lot of meets. What's the difference?

I'd suggest you do a bit of homework and see how you can stand out among your competition.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever "

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Women do get turned down.

Has every woman you've messaged said no thanks? If they've simply not replied you haven't been rejected.

You've only been here three weeks, I suspect you'll need to reassess your expectations.

You've not asked for profile advice so we can't offer any.

Compare your profile and pictures to some of the guys who get a lot of meets. What's the difference?

I'd suggest you do a bit of homework and see how you can stand out among your competition.

I try I've had advice before and I make the appropriate changed but nothing changes what's the point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people. "

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?"

MTFU

Sorry had to be said

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?

MTFU

Sorry had to be said"

Ooo sorry hard man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?"

If you’re a decent human being who understands that women get a ton of messages on here, and it might take you a while to click with someone, you don’t develop an attitude.

You only develop an attitude if you’re throwing your toys out the pram, because the women you fancy, don’t fancy you.

There is no need to develop an attitude over not getting sex on a swingers site, there are plenty of other sites. An entitled attitude is never attractive.

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By *ydnNancyCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?

If you’re a decent human being who understands that women get a ton of messages on here, and it might take you a while to click with someone, you don’t develop an attitude.

You only develop an attitude if you’re throwing your toys out the pram, because the women you fancy, don’t fancy you.

There is no need to develop an attitude over not getting sex on a swingers site, there are plenty of other sites. An entitled attitude is never attractive. "

It's not being entitled but thank you

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy"

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Getting all defensive and beings smarmy isn't going to get you a meet at all especially if you want to use these forums as a tool, stop whinning wev only had 2 meets in 2 years and iv got a pretty wife. 3 weeks lol

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?"

It's been 3 weeks. You've developed a dreadful attitude towards the people youve asked for help.

If you're getting the same advice of everyone, perhaps they're not the ones out of step.

There's another thread running where someone else has asked a similar questions.

His responses to the advice he's received are markedly different to yours.

You seem to have a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

You'll sink without a trace unless you lose the attitude and entitlement.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the grand scheme of all things fab, 3 weeks is no time at all. Look at the profiles of guys who've been here years and have pads of success. Compare their profile with your own, why are they successful?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok OP. As many have said. 3 weeks is nothing on fab.

Your age also goes against you as alot look for older guys. Not everyone... But alot do and frankly the attitude that are giving with your replies to other people is why people go for older guys.. they tend to say thanks anyway and move on.

Also your replies on here other people will be looking at and they will probably give you a wide birth too.

I'm sorry to say but your a tiny fish in a massive pond..

And your not helping yourself by your answers.

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By *orningflagpoleMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Strap on a pair of big balls and move onto the next one. Fabs for single guys purely a numbers game.

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

I think you've just sealed your own fate on this site my lovely good luck to you but I see a very boring time ahead for you

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"I think you've just sealed your own fate on this site my lovely good luck to you but I see a very boring time ahead for you "

Hey it can't get any worse but thanks anyway everyone

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the

same crap off of everyone? "

That is the big question and the guys who find out the answer are the ones getting the meets, while the others get more and more bitter. The site owes no one anything. It doesn't guarantee meets and certainly not after just 3 weeks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx"

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work?

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By *ivinginthemomentWoman over a year ago

Attleborough

If it's any consolation, I don't think there is anything wrong you. Good luck

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "

She's a woman with 10000s of men after her that's why pal it's nothing personal

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"If it's any consolation, I don't think there is anything wrong you. Good luck"

It actually is thank you very much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Want to be successful?

Get some tits and put a frock on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rejection is (arguably) one of the worst human experiences imaginable.

The pain associated with it likely stems back to hunter-gather times. During these times, rejection literally equaled death.

If you study the brain, much of the same neural pathways activated during physical pain are activated after experiencing rejection.

With all that said...

It's something you have to truly accept.

Most people don't experience an overwhelming amount of rejection - either because they are a moderately attractive woman, or they don't put themselves out there.

You are a male, and you are putting yourself out there. You will therefore experience a lot of rejection. Understanding that this is reality will really help you.

I understand why you have an attitude. I've gone through periods of nihilism and anger due to social rejections - but I think with age and experience I've slowly gotten over it.

Guys that don't learn to deal with this find themselves falling deeper and deeper into a hole. This can lead to suicide, self-destructive behaviours, or mass shootings.

Take a break from this site. Get some Ice-cream. And once you're feeling better, come back with a new outlook. Don't have any expectations. Work on making your profile the best it can be. Send a few well thought out messages with a face pic. And try learn from any mistakes you make along the way.

And although this is a sex/swingers site - it doesn't really guarantee anything.

In reality, Tinder is your best bet for online dating (I'm only here because I'm horny all the time and find this place interesting).

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the

same crap off of everyone?

Absolutely.

Getting an attitude over sex isn’t the way to go about things.

Moving on and understanding that not everyone is going to want to meet you, is.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Rejection is (arguably) one of the worst human experiences imaginable.

The pain associated with it likely stems back to hunter-gather times. During these times, rejection literally equaled death.

If you study the brain, much of the same neural pathways activated during physical pain are activated after experiencing rejection.

With all that said...

It's something you have to truly accept.

Most people don't experience an overwhelming amount of rejection - either because they are a moderately attractive woman, or they don't put themselves out there.

You are a male, and you are putting yourself out there. You will therefore experience a lot of rejection. Understanding that this is reality will really help you.

I understand why you have an attitude. I've gone through periods of nihilism and anger due to social rejections - but I think with age and experience I've slowly gotten over it.

Guys that don't learn to deal with this find themselves falling deeper and deeper into a hole. This can lead to suicide, self-destructive behaviours, or mass shootings.

And although this is a sex/swingers site - it doesn't really guarantee anything.

In reality, Tinder is your best bet for online dating (I'm only here because I'm horny all the time and find this place interesting).

Good luck!

Cheers man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people. "

What a dreadful response you are giving this young man. Just back off if you've nothing decent to say!

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple over a year ago

South East Wales

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Of course women get turned down. I’ve been turned down (politely) at club nights before because they simply didn’t fancy me, which is totally fine, but if you think someone ignoring your message is soul destroying imagine being told no to your face

Maybe step away from your phone and go out and get to know people at some socials, there are specific ones for non verified people too.

Put yourself out there physically, you’re a cute, good looking guy, and you may be more successful.

Sassy

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Maybe step away from your phone and go out and get to know people at some socials, there are specific ones for non verified people too.

Put yourself out there physically, you’re a cute, good looking guy, and you may be more successful.

Sassy"

Hey thanks for that

regarding socials I've tried but there don't seem to be any that are fairly local aha.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

You do know that's rubbish right?! Not everyone you fancy is gonna fancy you back, regardless of whether you are male or female. Plus, there are alot of women on here that don't respond to mail and do their own searching. Not getting a reply could be for a multitude of reasons, other than, they just don't fancy you, ya know?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Expect to get nowhere. Send the odd message to someone you like and expect no reply. One day you'll be suprised, get a response and maybe get somewhere. But this site is not Tinder, and listen to the advice you are being given.

If you were in a room with 10 women who you didn't know , and 1000 other men who,in the main, are just trying to get in their pants, how many would you expect just to fuck you. Well, none. So don't expect anything different here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Actually women do get rejected

Also try social events and or clubs you might have more luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just suck it up princess. People are here to fulfil fantasies and want good sex. You don’t get good sex from youngsters or even a decent conversation. You are not owed sex. No one is owed sex. But you will get it if you are the best prospect, and sadly you aren’t.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just suck it up princess. People are here to fulfil fantasies and want good sex. You don’t get good sex from youngsters or even a decent conversation. You are not owed sex. No one is owed sex. But you will get it if you are the best prospect, and sadly you aren’t. "

What a shit response

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

Exactly the type of people to prove my point...do you know anything about me? my career? my lifestyle? and get you put me down for being young...decent people you are...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You don’t get good sex from youngsters or even a decent conversation."

Huge generalisation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Forget Fabs as a place to get meets as a single man. Get to clubs on a regular basis, get to know people in real life and use fab to keep in touch.

I think you’ve been given an unnecessarily rough ride and pack mentality is forming here. When you bite back, it’s you that’s got the attitude. That’s the Fab forum for you.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "

If you are going to disagree with everything people say, do not post at all.

I have been rejected by 17 men over 6 years. Yes, I know, I am ugly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work?

If you are going to disagree with everything people say, do not post at all.

I have been rejected by 17 men over 6 years. Yes, I know, I am ugly.

I was rejected on here because I’m 25, the guy was 22 years older than me and had a daughter older than me, so didn’t want to meet anyone younger.

Fair enough!

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly the type of people to prove my point...do you know anything about me? my career? my lifestyle? and get you put me down for being young...decent people you are..."

Mate there are some huge egos, arrogance and delusions of grandeur on this site and it is mainly from people you would never look twice at in the street. Let it go over your head and do not base your confidence on this site, it is not real life.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

Exactly the type of people to prove my point...do you know anything about me? my career? my lifestyle? and get you put me down for being young...decent people you are...

Cheers man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave."

Your age will be an issue for many older women firstly.

Your pictures don’t show much to be honest, although they aren’t the worst.

Your “about me” isn’t bad, however you haven’t mentioned what you like sexually for example, for me personally I like to read that on someone’s profile. Others don’t.

Other than that, be patient, give it time.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave.

Your age will be an issue for many older women firstly.

Your pictures don’t show much to be honest, although they aren’t the worst.

Your “about me” isn’t bad, however you haven’t mentioned what you like sexually for example, for me personally I like to read that on someone’s profile. Others don’t.

Other than that, be patient, give it time. "

Genuinely that helps I'll make some changes thank you

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By *undude2015Man over a year ago

Southampton

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

Tell me about it mate, it is completely soul destroying.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere"

Whatever effort you've put in, you've now ruined it by your attitude towards people on this thread. Put your toys back in your pram and lose the entitled attitude. Not doing yourself any favours here. Get yourself off to a club or socials like someone suggested earlier. Start networking. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave.

Your age will be an issue for many older women firstly.

Your pictures don’t show much to be honest, although they aren’t the worst.

Your “about me” isn’t bad, however you haven’t mentioned what you like sexually for example, for me personally I like to read that on someone’s profile. Others don’t.

Other than that, be patient, give it time.

Genuinely that helps I'll make some changes thank you

No problem.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Maybe step away from your phone and go out and get to know people at some socials, there are specific ones for non verified people too.

Put yourself out there physically, you’re a cute, good looking guy, and you may be more successful.

Sassy

Hey thanks for that

regarding socials I've tried but there don't seem to be any that are fairly local aha."

You want everything on your doorstep and handed to you on a plate.

As many have said, effort and hard work.

I go to socials in London, Brighton, Bristol, Leicester and Manchester.

Nothing but nothing is going to come to you.

You have to put the hard hours in.

Sending some messages and three weeks is not enough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a bit or perspective here we have been on fab for 3 years. We have had 4 meets in that time. We send messages to people that get ignored, we get messages from people that are not for us. If some1 has clearly taken the time to read out profile but is not for us then i will reply to say that they arent what we are.looking for. If they havent bothered to read it i ignore them.

As a single male you will have a much tougher time then couples and and an even tougher time then single ladies.

If you are determined that you want to be a swinger go to socials or to clubs and meet people. If not try pof or tinder

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon "

Maybe start your own group socials then. There's Liberations in Portsmouth, don't know how close that is to Alton? Or London clubs if closer. Effort in means rewards out.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon

Maybe start your own group socials then. There's Liberations in Portsmouth, don't know how close that is to Alton? Or London clubs if closer. Effort in means rewards out. "

Portsmouth would work

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon

Maybe start your own group socials then. There's Liberations in Portsmouth, don't know how close that is to Alton? Or London clubs if closer. Effort in means rewards out. "

Portsmouth is about 25 minutes drive from the OPS home.

London is 40 minutes on the train.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dont take it to heart its meant to be fun more chance winning the lottery than having a meet if your a single guy on here.I have been on before and meet some nice people but if its getting you down or upset might not be the place for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You definitely wont be getting a meet from any women who see this thread. Think you need to go do some growing up and come back when you realise women are not on here to throw themselves at you after 3 weeks. Male half of us was on here as a single in the past and was near 6 months and 4 social meets before he had a meet where some play invlolved.

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By *eddy and legsCouple over a year ago

the wetlands

Get a girlfriend

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Get a girlfriend"

He's got one apparently.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave."

Smile!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Get a girlfriend

He's got one apparently. "

Pah and hes still not happy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had alot of bloody great sex and conversation with many young guys. I find them a much better prospect for me! Your opinion is yours... Doesn't make it true for all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The lucky Buggers

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Get a girlfriend

He's got one apparently.

Pah and hes still not happy "

Aren't you funny hahaha we're both on here it's not one sided...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my admittedly limited experience of Fab I try to treat it as if I was in the supermarket, which sounds a dreadful analogy but bear with me...

If Tesco is full of attractive people, I would not expect everyone to fancy me or in fact even want to talk to me!

Neither would I walk up to someone as say “fancy a fuck I’ll meet u now”. Doesn’t work IRL, and of course the internet IS real life! Real people with emotions and their own minds to make up based on how I talk to them!

Yes, we may all be here because of a shared interest but being friendly and interested in people and hopefully interesting seems to be the way to go!

And I send plenty of messages which don’t get read or replied to OP! Don’t let it stress you out! It’s not personal, how can it be, they don’t know you! Good luck.

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By *irky_coupleCouple over a year ago

kirky

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "
if you've got a partner that's on here then why do you want a singles profile? Just have a couples profile and everybody wins. Tbh is sounds like you believe that because she is successful then you should be too. As the man in our relationship, I'd never come on here with expectations of anything happening after 3 weeks. Think you need to re-assess what you want from here. Is it jealousy of your partner or do you actually want to have solo meets? Lots say it and I detest the saying intensely but this place isn't "instashag".

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Get a girlfriend

He's got one apparently.

Pah and hes still not happy

Aren't you funny hahaha we're both on here it's not one sided..."

If you have a gf lack of sex isn't the issue.

Just go with the flow, work on your profile, pics, update your status regularly so you appear on local updates. Get her to veri you perhaps, then at least people will know you're real.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’ve not been rejected. You’re just not what they’re looking for at this time. "

This

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By *umKinkwithUsCouple over a year ago

Camberley

[Removed by poster at 28/04/19 21:44:20]

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By *umKinkwithUsCouple over a year ago

Camberley

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "

Firstly I would get your partner to write you a verification.

Secondly provide a link to your profile from you and partners joint profile (if you have one) and one on yours to the joint one.

Thirdly attend a few clubs and ask people you get one with for a verification even if you just socialise with them.

You also might have more luck if you open up to meeting couples as well as single females.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try and get yourself to a club or social event local to you. Or perhaps try the chat room on here to get yourself verified via cam. Ladies on here do often get bombarded with mail so try not to take rejection or no replies to heart. Polite, respectful and friendly guys do tend to do well on here. It can take time though x

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."
. I have been on the site almost 2 years and I have also messaged ladies and couples without much success.The last 18 months I have attended socials and been fortunate enough to have my application to be a member of a club accepted so the only thing I can advised is what others have already said which is clubs and social get some verification showing what a good guy you are then perhaps things will improve for you.3 weeks is none thing on Fabs it takes time.

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work?

Firstly I would get your partner to write you a verification.

Secondly provide a link to your profile from you and partners joint profile (if you have one) and one on yours to the joint one.

Thirdly attend a few clubs and ask people you get one with for a verification even if you just socialise with them.

You also might have more luck if you open up to meeting couples as well as single females."

Thank you for the help it's much appreciated.

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By * New YorkieMan over a year ago

Leeds

I posted this on a post that was similar so I copy and pasted it over here.. I was trying to help the poor guy out with this suggestion.

Catch their eye somehow, with something funny or read profiles and find a connection. That has worked wonders for me. All you need is a foot in that door and off you go. Keep positive.

You just have to keep trying is all...

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By *uliaChrisCouple over a year ago

westerham

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? if you've got a partner that's on here then why do you want a singles profile? Just have a couples profile and everybody wins. Tbh is sounds like you believe that because she is successful then you should be too. As the man in our relationship, I'd never come on here with expectations of anything happening after 3 weeks. Think you need to re-assess what you want from here. Is it jealousy of your partner or do you actually want to have solo meets? Lots say it and I detest the saying intensely but this place isn't "instashag". "

Yeah I’m a bit confused on this point as well... if it’s a different room swap scenario you are looking for then maybe try a couples profile saying that?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

"Get a girlfriend

He's got one apparently.

Pah and hes still not happy

Aren't you funny hahaha we're both on here it's not one sided..."

Hi OP

Have you thought about having a couple profile and meeting together ?

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

^exactly this! Perfect answer

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "

Your partner??? Not one mention you had a gf and your age could be a massive factor!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The lucky Buggers

"
there 1 out of 300 men are lucky buggers in my book loll

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know what you mean lol

Doesn't matter how polite I am I don’t send cock pics etc etc just get blocked with no explanation or not my type,you start thinking what type ami I lol I’m not liked by blonde or brunette, younger or older . Bbw or skinny

You need a thick skin or you start getting a complex

Seems the face just isn’t liked

It’s such a shame that people judge a book by its cover rather than find out what’s between the pages can be fantastic

Ladies moan about rude men on here it seems to work both ways to me

But hey that life

Happy fabbing everyone

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman over a year ago

Pontefract

"I know what you mean lol

You need a thick skin or you start getting a complex

Seems the face just isn’t liked

It’s such a shame that people judge a book by its cover rather than find out what’s between the pages can be fantastic

Ladies moan about rude men on here it seems to work both ways to me

But hey that life

Happy fabbing everyone

Read between the pages .... if there is no spark or attraction you are not going to get anyone wanting to read between the pages and if ppl really wanted that they would make an effort and join social events and chat to swingers only way to get read between the pages here x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My advice would be to take it with grace and try your best not to let it get you down.

You'd be a bit of a twat if you thought you were so irresistible that nobody will reject you. Everyone gets rejected.

You don't need to know and have no right to know why, but if someone is kind enough to explain, then you owe it to them to take it gracefully.

It's best not to dwell on it too much, if you are, it helps to take breaks, or put your emotional Shield Wall back up. Collect your thoughts for a bit.

Fab is a very Hard-core kind of place for that kind of thing. It's often done mercilessly, prematurely and what sometimes feels like unfairly. People will judge you for all sorts of things and hold you to super high standards. If you're delicate, sensitive or struggling in any way. Fab sometimes isn't the best place to be.

Firing back in anger, or pain won't make you feel any better. By not blowing up the bridge you allow for the faintest chance someone may decide to cross back over one day.

Times and people change and Fab isn't Reality.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

Its only fab, don't take it so seriously. Just have a laugh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My advice would be to take it with grace and try your best not to let it get you down.

You'd be a bit of a twat if you thought you were so irresistible that nobody will reject you. Everyone gets rejected.

You don't need to know and have no right to know why, but if someone is kind enough to explain, then you owe it to them to take it gracefully.

It's best not to dwell on it too much, if you are, it helps to take breaks, or put your emotional Shield Wall back up. Collect your thoughts for a bit.

Firing back in anger, or pain won't make you feel any better. By not blowing up the bridge you allow for the faintest chance someone may decide to cross back over one day.

Times and people change and Fab isn't Reality."
i do not believe that the only ones who get rejected are those who are not prefect meaning got the looks or appealing..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My advice would be to take it with grace and try your best not to let it get you down.

You'd be a bit of a twat if you thought you were so irresistible that nobody will reject you. Everyone gets rejected.

You don't need to know and have no right to know why, but if someone is kind enough to explain, then you owe it to them to take it gracefully.

It's best not to dwell on it too much, if you are, it helps to take breaks, or put your emotional Shield Wall back up. Collect your thoughts for a bit.

Firing back in anger, or pain won't make you feel any better. By not blowing up the bridge you allow for the faintest chance someone may decide to cross back over one day.

Times and people change and Fab isn't Reality. i do not believe that the only ones who get rejected are those who are not prefect meaning got the looks or appealing..

I've no idea

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By *inchyorksMan over a year ago

huddersfield

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

If three weeks worth of rejection is affecting you leave now before you’ve had three months of it!!

Thick skin is needed!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I think it's really important for single guys to assume that it will be very hard to meet people here and that they'll often not be able to second guess how well they'll meet others tastes here. This will be coupled with the fact that you may only be part of what people want - they may like couples, women, trans etc and will have thousands to choose from. From there it probably means less disappointment, when most contact results in no meet.

The concept of you being able to condense the delights of meeting in person, where you have eye contact, smiles, flirting and 3 dimensional chemistry, instead via a message and a profile, is never going to compete. You just have to optimize things in your favour.

My advice op is to depersonalise things, so that you only view a dead end as reflecting on the others and not you. And not to use fab when your esteem is low - conversely, do whatever you can to increase your self-esteem and confidence and definitely with people who you are attracted to.

Find friends here who are good for you - people who will be there for you and believe in you, so that you have good positive connections to fab, to balance any negative ones. You'd perhaps message or phone someone like me, get stuff off your chest, have a laugh, possibly a drink somewhere - all to make fab an experience that's bigger than you just getting knocked back. Obviously the forum is somewhere for inanity, chatting about whatever etc, so is a good place to hangout.

Ensure that fab is used to supplement your life, without too great a reliance on it. Experiment, trying new things and approaches, improving upon what works better than other ways.

If it's too much, take a break at any point. Good luck!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Honest advice OP? Which is the advice I'd give to anyone who says they're having a negative experience of the site - there are several things that are key, none of them will guarantee a thing in terms of meets, but it will improve your experience of the site, and may help you understand it better:

Attitude - you need to get this right, be positive, accept that you're but one of many fish all chasing the same thing, and that most of the time you will get rejected. Taking a negative attitude, as you have done at times on this thread, will just breed negativity and see you getting rejected.

Approach - again need to get it right, work out what works best for you - if blindly "cold messaging" people isn't working, consider clubs or socials, or getting more involved in the forums, all of which are a good way to get yourself known and to get to know other people. Or take a look at the messages you send and ask yourself honestly if you'd reply to them, or even show them to your girlfriend and ask her honest opinion.

Expectations - set them to the lowest possible setting, and then turn them down a notch further - contrary to the belief of some, the streets of Fab are not paved with sex, it takes time and effort to find people you're matched with and that may want to meet you - most people, especially men, don't sign up and get meets straight away, it takes time to firstly understand the site and how it works, and then to establish yourself.

Profile - make it the best it can possibly be to stand out from the crowd, inject some personality into it and make it clear what you are looking for and more importantly what you think you can offer a prospective meet. Your profile is your shop window - ask yourself would you shop at your shop or pass it by? Having looked at yours, I've seen worse, but it's fairly generic and reads more like a dating ad than anything.

Pictures - get yourself a decent set of pics that show off your body, learn to use the timer function on your phone and the editing software that comes with it, and get creative. If you're stuck for ideas, don't be scared of looking at other well verified guys pics for inspiration.

I'll be honest and say your age *will* go against you with a lot of people, but that shouldn't be seem to get you down, there *are* people that look for guys your age, you just need to look a little harder to find them.

It is tough to take rejection, particularly if you see it as rejection, rather than you're not meeting someone's criteria, which is often all it comes down to but if you start to look at things positively, they seem more positive.

A lot of people lose sight of all the normal rules of engagement about meeting people on here - when really it is no different from every day life, some people you get on with but wouldn't want to have sex with, some people you don't get on with at all, and then there is that minority of people that you actually fancy and would want to take things beyond just "getting on with them" and it's no different here, only a small minority will interest you, and the same goes for them being interested in you.

I'd also ask if your girlfriend has actually had meets from the site, as that is bound to affect you if she is, and you're not, even though it *is* the way Fab may appear to work, and there really shouldn't be any comparisons between her level of interest and yours - if she is and *that* is what is really getting you down, maybe you and her need to have a discussion about whether this is the best place for you and your relationship, or whether you should consider quitting the single profiles and just having a couple's profile from which you meet together as a couple.

Read and digest all of that, and like I said it won't guarantee a thing, but it will make your experience of the site so much better.

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By *lan157Man over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

OP you might never get a reply to any message you send. I mix with a couple of swinger groups which include single guys and they say the same thing about messages but they are sucessful in the group and at clubs. Truth is that sending messages is not an efficient use of your time but meeting people at socials is even if you have to travel 50 miles to go to one.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

There is so much communication problems by messaging, go meet to meet.

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By *jtravellerWoman over a year ago

surrey

There’s nothing wrong with your profile that I can see. You’re a very young looking 24 though, and that will be a problem for some. Get your girlfriend to take a pic of you smiling and having fun , also get her to verify you. Mention the relationship in the profile and maybe even link to her . As others have said, go to socials , with the intent of making friends. Try taking part in the forums and chat perhaps.

Not saying you’re doing it , but guy friends who complain about no success, are usually batting out of their league.

Good luck ps Women absolutely get turned down.

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By *oupleforfun31Couple over a year ago

Bradford

Joining the site and expecting to immediately find someone to sleep with is like joining Facebook to make new friends.

Get out there to the clubs and just use the site to keep in touch with people you meet.

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By *uckslut and MCouple over a year ago

Poole

We're a couple and get turned lots too. It's not just you / single blokes. Being an adult you have to learn rejection is part of life. I just see it as there loss, block them and move on.

We find a lot of single fems want a realtionship. Not all but lots. So won't meet unless you tick all the 'relationship" boxes. Strange as this is a swinging site. Just keep chipping away, your get there.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Honest advice OP? Which is the advice I'd give to anyone who says they're having a negative experience of the site - there are several things that are key, none of them will guarantee a thing in terms of meets, but it will improve your experience of the site, and may help you understand it better:

Read and digest all of that, and like I said it won't guarantee a thing, but it will make your experience of the site so much better."

Wise words.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon

Maybe start your own group socials then. There's Liberations in Portsmouth, don't know how close that is to Alton? Or London clubs if closer. Effort in means rewards out.

Portsmouth is about 25 minutes drive from the OPS home.

London is 40 minutes on the train."

Problem solved then.

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

You will get rejection in all walks of life, just don't take it personally and turn it into a learning experience for next time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There aren't hundreds - the ratio is approx 9 to 1. I've been here for two months and through perseverance and a thick skin have met two lovely couples and have been to a nice party. I've made love with three nice women and will probably make love with another nice woman this week. And I'm 57 ! Just do what the chap above said - delete your messages and expect nothing. You'll get there. If you're a nice person.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

Surely a way of cutting down on rejection is by reading profiles and only messaging people that you fit what they are looking for. If people read and took note of profiles, ladies would get quarter of the mail they do at the moment, so maybe would be more inclined to answer them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don’t you attend a social event near you, loads in forum nowadays. Great way to meet fellow swingers there. Put yourself out there and sure your luck will change. Like what’s been said already read women’s profiles if your not there type don’t message them. Most of all don’t get annoyed with rejection not everyone is attracted to everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn't this the second whinging thread you have done in two days? You're on the wrong site, plain and simple, you have people here being nice and giving advice and you're still sulking about it. You honestly shouldnt be on this if your skin is that thin. Also, what were you expecting? Don't know if have answered that yet, go on tinder and start swiping, or if you're gonna stay here best make a new profile because this shite has done you no favours whatsoever

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"There is no magic pill, effort in and you’ll eventually get results.

It’s incredibly off putting when guys moan about not getting meets especially when people attempt to give advice and you basically say you don’t see the point.

Go on tinder dude because this obviously isn’t for you. This is a swinging site not an all you can eat restaurant.

Nancy

I've been putting the effort but it gets you nowhere

And as I also stated earlier there are like literally none in Hampshire so that's not really possible any time soon

Maybe start your own group socials then. There's Liberations in Portsmouth, don't know how close that is to Alton? Or London clubs if closer. Effort in means rewards out.

Portsmouth is about 25 minutes drive from the OPS home.

London is 40 minutes on the train.

Problem solved then.

Simple eh?

Great club an hour up the road too.

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By *ornysxguyMan over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

OP of your both on here as you say, have you not considered playing as a couple? Or what are your individual reasons for singles profiles over having a couple profile. You both seem to be ok with each other sleeping with other people?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Miss Marple!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol "

I would disagree.

But you wouldn’t be the first to go back in time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

Take a break/improve your profile or you could just give up if its getting to you. People have a choice who they interact with if its a problem then maybe here is not for you.

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By *ania2000Couple over a year ago

liverpool

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?"
...this is exactly the reason why i dont play with "youth"...attitude..cant deal with rejection....imature ...expect us to serve ourselves up on a silver platter...turn offensive...and to be honest..you cant beat experienced, respectful mature (over 30) guys....mmm.. maybe try POF...or maybe you already have and had no luck on there either ..wonder why??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

How are you not meant to develop an attitude when you get the same crap off of everyone?...this is exactly the reason why i dont play with "youth"...attitude..cant deal with rejection....imature ...expect us to serve ourselves up on a silver platter...turn offensive...and to be honest..you cant beat experienced, respectful mature (over 30) guys....mmm.. maybe try POF...or maybe you already have and had no luck on there either ..wonder why??"

I don’t think you can generalise all under 30s based on a few.

Many of us are respectful & mature, just as there are many over 30s who aren’t respectful and are immature, I’ve come across lots!

It all depends on the individual.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

" And I'm 57 ! Just do what the chap above said - delete your messages and expect nothing. You'll get there. If you're a nice person.

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol "

*sound of foot being shot by user*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keep hanging in there. Have a look at the bottom of my bio

There's a copy and paste to some great advice for single guys on fab .. Don't get down about it.. It will happen one day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" And I'm 57 ! Just do what the chap above said - delete your messages and expect nothing. You'll get there. If you're a nice person.

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Mmmmm I won't compare myself to you but.......

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol

*sound of foot being shot by user*

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

" And I'm 57 ! Just do what the chap above said - delete your messages and expect nothing. You'll get there. If you're a nice person.

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol

*sound of foot being shot by user*

Mmmmm I won't compare myself to you but.......

No comparison necessary at all - lets just leave it that at least I'm honest

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

wow thanks for that and as stated before when you message 30 or more people and nobody will let you get past the intro how else would you react? like I said women don't get rejected because they're the ones who sit back and let the men pick them so to be honest you have no idea what it's like so you don't understand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s how it is for us guys on here bud. you just need to get on with it. It’s just the law of ratios on here

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

As several ladies and couples have already told you, they do get turned down.

Not getting a reply isn't the same as being rejected.

You're looking outwardly and apportioning responsibility for your lack of success on others.

Maybe try looking inwardly?

Your responses show a lack of maturity.

You've asked for advice and like many others completely ignore it and attack it.

If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Contrast your responses to the the guy in the "what am I doing wrong thread".

Polite, courteous, respectful and appreciative of the advice he's received.

Chalk and cheese.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And as explained by others we do get rejected. Not quite sure where you are getting your info from that we sit back and let the men come to us.. because I assure you that's not true.

Yes we get men running to us that want to empty their balls and dont care who or what into.. but to find a decent guy that is after the same as the Individual lady it's us that has to do the hard work.

You say women don't understand what it's like for a guy that gets rejected/blanked etc..... well You don't understand what it's like for a woman being bombarded by messages and most of them are not very pleasant at all.

The best thing you can do is take the advice that's been given to you and stop biting back at people that are actually trying to help.

The only thing your doing at the moment is telling people how Wrong they are.. when actually alot of then are right.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Simply move on.

You’ve only been here 3 weeks. Many guys have been here months before they get their first meet.

Women not wanting to meet you on here is not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't mind if every now and then someone was interested but absolutely nobody I mean come on

Try elsewhere then?

What do you want these women to do? Give you a pity fuck?

They’re not interested that’s their right.

Yeah whatever

This is the attitude I mean, you asked for help then just have smarmy replies for people.

And then he wonders why, he isn’t having the same success as others.

Can I respectfully suggest that if you've messaged "30 or more people" in your three weeks here that you're providing an indication that you're not particularly fussy and are just blanket bombing any one within a certain radius in the hope of getting a response, and I suspect that the messages you send may be the problem?

I'll also politely refer you to my post further up which provided some guidance as to how to improve your experience here - go read it, digest it and act on it

As others have said rather than displaying an argumentative "I know better" attitude, you might find you have a better experience of the site if you took on board some of the very good advice given and adopted a more positive outlook.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" And I'm 57 ! Just do what the chap above said - delete your messages and expect nothing. You'll get there. If you're a nice person.

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol

*sound of foot being shot by user*

Mmmmm I won't compare myself to you but.......

No comparison necessary at all - lets just leave it that at least I'm honest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To reiterate, 3 weeks is no time at all, although it my seem that it's an age for you

You say you've looked into socials within the 3 weeks you've been here... some socials only happen once/twice yearly. This is what people mean by you need to have patience and time or YOU are the one setting yourself up for a ballache and creating stress for yourself that needn't be there.

I'll be honest, the attitude you're displaying is snappy and defeatest. You say you have a girlfriend, was she the first girl you passed in the street in your life, or even the 30th? I highly doubt it, yet you seem to think the 30 women you've messaged who've not replied owe you something, yet I'm sure you've walked past people in the street before now, even some who've spoken to you, and you've put your head down and carried on walking. The AA salesman perhaps? You don't mean to be rude, but you're busy/running late/simply cant be arsed or just maybe you feel a little uncomfortable looking him in the eye and telling him no, coz you know yourself these salesman can be quite pushy.

For you to say you KNOW women don't get rejected.... well that just shows that you know fuck all. That may sound harsh but you seem blinkered and convinced you're right and everyone else is wrong.

I suggest you rethink what you're looking for, and whether you're prepared to make changes in reference to your outlook and expectations, if not I fear this place may turn you into a spiteful, resentful man.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Ooohhh I like the AA salesman analogy - I'm soooo stealing that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ooohhh I like the AA salesman analogy - I'm soooo stealing that

I impressed myself with that one I must be honest

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

[Removed by poster at 29/04/19 12:57:03]

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Forget about meeting anyone on here, go to clubs you're not garrenteed success but you're chances are far better.

Also, change your way of thinking, not getting a meet in fab isn't rejection, it's just them wanting to meet for a some reason. I know that this is just semantics but the use of negative language has a negative impact on you psychologically.

Just chill on here, be in no hurry and the meets will come to you - they will be few and far between but they will be great!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I noticed earlier on another thread that you said you've been chatting to women, then at the point you ask when they want to meet they don't get back to you. So I'm gonna take a stab in the dark that it's something to do with your approach.

Yet you say you've messaged 30 women and none of them have responded, so something somewhere isn't adding up.

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

Just got to be patient and remember that there's a lot more guys than women here.

I'm sure someone will click with you at some point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol "

Lol that ain't poetic licence, that,s a bit of good old fashioned fiction

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was here weeks and weeks before I even got a thanks but no thanks, if you get no reply treat it as a no thanks.

Also saw someone else recommended you delete your messages as soon as you send them, then your not constantly reminding yourself you’ve had no reply.

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By *ndyandMandyCouple over a year ago

swansea

Find a darkened room and take two aspirin

You’ll get over it

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

Women just can’t be arsed with just another bloke, you need to learn have a great endearing profile and skills that put Casanova to shame to really tempt the ladies

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol

Lol that ain't poetic licence, that,s a bit of good old fashioned fiction

I’m actually in my 90s just trying to lure the younguns

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get loads of messages every day op and 99.9% just ain't for us for various reasons, not because we think we think we are too good for them but just not our cup of tea.

We also message single men but we are not what they are looking for but we understand that.

Keep on plugging away and you will get lucky but as has been said 3 weeks is not long on here

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By *eorge JetsonMan over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Believe it or not OP, even single females and couples get rejected. It's part of life, not just Fab. One has to develop broad shoulders and move on to the next message.

Have you tried going on Cam to get verified, that might help your predicament xx

My partner hasn't been rejected by 1 person on this site since she joined at the same time as me it doesn't happen to women it's a fact of life.

How does that work? "

Hang on a minute, been following this since you put your thread up and now suddenly you have a partner who joined at the same time and is getting response after every message??

Did it not occur to you to join as a couple instead of 2 singles??

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman over a year ago

all loved up

3 weeks is as long time when you get absolutely nothing from people on here it's not like there's a few here and there in between it's been everyone. How can you stand out

What exactly were your expectations?

Well I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't expect literally every woman I've messaged to turn me down either. It's fine for women they never get rejected because they don't have to chase anyone so they don't understand."
I get rejected.. and yes we have to chase. Okay it is easier to get someone... but only if your not picky. If you are then it is still hard

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By *robinson OP Man over a year ago

Alton

"Find a darkened room and take two aspirin

You’ll get over it"

Funny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any tips on how to deal with being rejected by literally every single woman I've messaged? Disclaimer: this is not a rant but a genuine question it gets a bit soul destroying is all."

I think it’s all to do with how you frame the situation. Don’t thing of things as “rejection”. It’s just that things aren’t meant to be.

Relax a little. You’re an attractive guy. There will be loads of women out there for you. Just focus on pushing forward and don’t worry about those that aren’t right for you.

I probably get rejected more often than I realise - but because I never really focus or dwell on negative interactions, I don’t notice it.

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By *revaunanceCouple over a year ago

Exeter

"Well I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't expect literally every woman I've messaged to turn me down either. It's fine for women they never get rejected because they don't have to chase anyone so they don't understand."

Now your starting to sound bitter.

When you say rejected, have they actually all said no. Or have they not replied. That is two totally different things. The first is rejection and if they all are writing back and saying no thanks then I'd be very surprised. You might be surprised to know that couples and women get rejected too, plus they get messed around by people that don't turn up, who are usually hiding behind a single male profile.

The second possible meaning of your turn rejected is completely normal for FAB. You see what happens is you send a polite reply back and then get told 'I wouldn't have fucked you because your ugly anyway', plus that person then has carte blanche to mail you whenever they like regardless of what filters you apply to your mail settings.

Fab works on the principal that you should accept no reply as no thanks. So if it's the second form of rejection, then you need to sell yourself better, approach people that whose profiles you meet, and probably improve your opening approach.

Good luck.

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By *revaunanceCouple over a year ago

Exeter

"I'll change this then to what's up on my profile that massively turns people away seeing as people will read my intro then go to my account and then just leave."

You did get some good advice last week:

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/876122

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Find a darkened room and take two aspirin

You’ll get over it

Funny"

You really are not helping yourself, you've asked for advice and yes, you've had some silly comments but you've also had some good advice but all you do is make excuses and blame everyone else. The only common denominator here is you, so maybe you need to take a long hard look at how you're conducting yourself.

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By *loralDanceWoman over a year ago

Ashton-under-Lyne

Believe me, women get rejected as well, or struggle to make it in clubs. I'm 57, new to the scene, and often find that women on here who interest me have their age limit set to 45 or 50, thus excluding me, which is frustrating as I am told that I look a lot younger. Then on Saturday night at Cupid's everyone seemed to know everyone else, it was too noisy to hear yourself think, the single guys were nowt to look at, and I just ended up playing with my partner. I could have stayed at home and done that! We can all have our failures.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

57 with a profile age of 50?

Was that a typo? Or...?

Well at my age I'm allowed a little poetic license lol "

My age filters disagree with you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Forget about meeting anyone on here, go to clubs you're not garrenteed success but you're chances are far better.

Just chill on here, be in no hurry and the meets will come to you - they will be few and far between but they will be great!"

top advice.

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Just worked it out OP, you've been only been a fan member 0.24% of your life, not long at all; give it time.

As an aside, I've been a fab member for over 4.6% of my like... eeeek!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Forget Fabs as a place to get meets as a single man. Get to clubs on a regular basis, get to know people in real life and use fab to keep in touch.

I think you’ve been given an unnecessarily rough ride and pack mentality is forming here. When you bite back, it’s you that’s got the attitude. That’s the Fab forum for you. "

I understand how crap it feels to get no replies OP. Trying a social is a good idea but there's a risk you might get blanked there too. Some people are nice though, maybe it depends on the area.

I think 3 weeks is plenty of time to find out how it's likely to be. I would have given up by now, so you're doing better than me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just worked it out OP, you've been only been a fan member 0.24% of your life, not long at all; give it time.

As an aside, I've been a fab member for over 4.6% of my like... eeeek!"

Three weeks is absolutely no time at all.

I think some people join this site and expect to be balls deep the same day they join, no doubt it happens for some. But for many it takes a while.

A bit of patient & going with the flow will change a lot of people’s experiences on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We talk to single guys at socials. We would never play with them. But we still chat.

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