FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Feeling deflated
Feeling deflated
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me that experiences peaks and troughs on here? Sometimes this site gives me lots of confidence and I feel super sexy then other times I feel really unworthy, unattractive and just not feeling it at all. Seem to strike up lovely rapport with people then it goes quiet, which in turn makes me feel like shit. We are a couple on here but he tends to leave me to it on here and only logs on if we have arranged a meet so it's mainly myself (lucy) that uses the profile.
Any advice welcomed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's a mix of emotions on here. Mostly fun, chats to lots of nice, sexy people. Other times it feels like I'm swimming upstream, lots of unsolicited nasty messages x"
Couldn't agree more xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mojo.... let me this straight, youre confident enough to have a fab profile, confident enough to pose for pictures and explore your sex life together... do you know how many people would give a left leg for just 10 percent of your confidence? Id guess quite a few!...ok, a leg may be a little extreme but you get the idea.
You're fabulous lady and the only person who can get you down is... yourself! So give yourself a slap, tell yourself in the mirror you're amazing and to hell with anyone who thinks overwise...
Go lady! Do your thing
Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that experiences peaks and troughs on here? Sometimes this site gives me lots of confidence and I feel super sexy then other times I feel really unworthy, unattractive and just not feeling it at all. Seem to strike up lovely rapport with people then it goes quiet, which in turn makes me feel like shit. We are a couple on here but he tends to leave me to it on here and only logs on if we have arranged a meet so it's mainly myself (lucy) that uses the profile.
Any advice welcomed. "
I have times like that also.. sometimes ive deleted my profile thinking im best off away from it all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simple ... don't rely on here for your feeling/emotional fulfilment and it's cool! Sort those out in life and have this as an addition to a great life  "
So excellently eloquently put...to the OP, all I can add is that dont let others response or lack of affect you that way...just be your super sexy self xx |
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"Simple ... don't rely on here for your feeling/emotional fulfilment and it's cool! Sort those out in life and have this as an addition to a great life "
Spot on.
Relying on the weird and sometimes wonderful world of Fab for validation is probably not advisable.
It works best if you dont take anything on here too seriously. One day you can be flavour of the month, the next day you're as popular as Teresa May at a Labour party rally. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think it's only natural to have highs and lows on here - times where you have a meet lined up, or have found a conversation with someone has sparked, and then times when it feels like the whole of Fab is passing you by - the key is in realising that it's the nature of the site, which can be incredibly transient at times, and not taking it too seriously or to heart - if you feel it getting you down, take a step away for a while and focus on the other good things in your life until you are ready to step back aboard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're not alone. We absolutely have peaks and troughs on here and have learned to step back a bit when feeling down with it all.
We found that dealing with idiotic messages was a big factor in making us feel fed up with it all, we tightened up out filters - no newbies or unverified people etc and that helped somewhat. Also, learning to just delete and block the people who clearly don't read profiles before messaging, when our instinct is to call them out for being twats.
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By *corcherMan
over a year ago
Loughborough |
If you're feeling low, or having a crisis of self confidence, this is the worst place to be. Most of the time it feels like sitting in an empty room, waving at people as they pass by outside, not paying you any attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're feeling low, or having a crisis of self confidence, this is the worst place to be. Most of the time it feels like sitting in an empty room, waving at people as they pass by outside, not paying you any attention. "
Or if they do look at you look through you or turn their nose up at you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never thought of myself as attractive, but fab definitely makes me feel inadequate and really, really unattractive and repulsive at times. People will say " Well why don't you leave?" Msybe I should, but i did join for the right reasons, have forum friends I chat to sometimes, and I'm always hopeful I'll find the right people to meet.
Hot photos and verifications don't help. Nobody I've met in person has described me as stunning, amazing and beautiful bar a couple of people and neither are people I've played with.
You need an incredibly thick skin to survive In a place like this.
You're not alone in feeling unworthy, but you definitely are.x |
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"Simple ... don't rely on here for your feeling/emotional fulfilment and it's cool! Sort those out in life and have this as an addition to a great life "
Exactly this! Others should be an enhancement, not the be all. |
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"Is it just me that experiences peaks and troughs on here? Sometimes this site gives me lots of confidence and I feel super sexy then other times I feel really unworthy, unattractive and just not feeling it at all. Seem to strike up lovely rapport with people then it goes quiet, which in turn makes me feel like shit. We are a couple on here but he tends to leave me to it on here and only logs on if we have arranged a meet so it's mainly myself (lucy) that uses the profile.
Any advice welcomed. "
I dont let it bother me i don't need anyone to boost my confidence if they dont like me though I move on lol I'm very happy with myself xx you should be too |
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"I've never thought of myself as attractive, but fab definitely makes me feel inadequate and really, really unattractive and repulsive at times. People will say " Well why don't you leave?" Msybe I should, but i did join for the right reasons, have forum friends I chat to sometimes, and I'm always hopeful I'll find the right people to meet.
Hot photos and verifications don't help. Nobody I've met in person has described me as stunning, amazing and beautiful bar a couple of people and neither are people I've played with.
You need an incredibly thick skin to survive In a place like this.
You're not alone in feeling unworthy, but you definitely are.x"
You are beautiful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah most of the time, its very hard work on here trying to strike up a decent conversation or getting a meet. Sometimes we get a message and reply straight back and they have gone off line. What was the point ? Sometimes we cant even find a single bloke. Too many time wasters and fake profiles spoiling it for the genuine ones. Its worth the hard work when you do find that quality meet tho. |
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I go through periods of enjoyable engagement and fallow times too. I'm of an age (and - to be honest - appearance) where not everyone with whom I have a rapport would actually want to meet me. It's an odd site, with very mixed intentions, hopes and expectations, and also a very varied clientele. Best not to invest too much in the site in general, but of course often worth investing in individuals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel that way most of the time. Been a while since a meet and it's starting to bug me a bit. But it always happens, have spells where it goes really when and then... Dry!
If any female fancies a natter, I'm lonely in a hotel working aha. Kik me? Message me your kik and ill send you a message.
Hope everyone gets to a peak again soon. I'm sure we all will lol x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry you are feeling like this, it goes in waves I find.
Although it isn't a nice place to be at the moment, becoming paranoid.
A guy I rejected keeps creating and deleting profiles, last night a new account appeared, and he is putting stuff in a status about me, but then I find out today that he is messaging local guys, saying to keep away from me because I'm a nutjob lol.
Why do they do it. Thinking of deleting my profile but really don't want to lose my veris. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to know a lot of people are in the same boat 
Relationships, sex and socialising can generate some of the best feelings imaginable - but with them can also come some of the worst feelings imaginable.
It's important to take breaks from sites like this when you're feeling overwhelmed
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"Sorry you are feeling like this, it goes in waves I find.
Although it isn't a nice place to be at the moment, becoming paranoid.
A guy I rejected keeps creating and deleting profiles, last night a new account appeared, and he is putting stuff in a status about me, but then I find out today that he is messaging local guys, saying to keep away from me because I'm a nutjob lol.
Why do they do it. Thinking of deleting my profile but really don't want to lose my veris."
Wot an idiot some ppl don't take it we'll do they |
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"Sorry you are feeling like this, it goes in waves I find.
Although it isn't a nice place to be at the moment, becoming paranoid.
A guy I rejected keeps creating and deleting profiles, last night a new account appeared, and he is putting stuff in a status about me, but then I find out today that he is messaging local guys, saying to keep away from me because I'm a nutjob lol.
Why do they do it. Thinking of deleting my profile but really don't want to lose my veris."
I wish I were closer and younger then; I like nut jobs; much better than boring jobs ! |
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By *corcherMan
over a year ago
Loughborough |
Don't get me wrong, I don't care what people thing of me here. I don't come here for validation. I have friends for that.
But some times when people aren't replying & no-ones interested in you can you leave you thinking what's wrong with me. |
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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago
Bridgwater, Somerset |
"Is it just me that experiences peaks and troughs on here? Sometimes this site gives me lots of confidence and I feel super sexy then other times I feel really unworthy, unattractive and just not feeling it at all. Seem to strike up lovely rapport with people then it goes quiet, which in turn makes me feel like shit. We are a couple on here but he tends to leave me to it on here and only logs on if we have arranged a meet so it's mainly myself (lucy) that uses the profile.
Any advice welcomed. "
Completely get this. Happens all the time, feel like I put everyone off 
Lexi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that experiences peaks and troughs on here? Sometimes this site gives me lots of confidence and I feel super sexy then other times I feel really unworthy, unattractive and just not feeling it at all. Seem to strike up lovely rapport with people then it goes quiet, which in turn makes me feel like shit. We are a couple on here but he tends to leave me to it on here and only logs on if we have arranged a meet so it's mainly myself (lucy) that uses the profile.
Any advice welcomed.
Completely get this. Happens all the time, feel like I put everyone off
Lexi "
So do I recently! |
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