FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why so many double standards
Why so many double standards
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always assumed women loved bi guys.....seen a lot on here say its their ultimate threesome etc."
There are.
Unfortunately though, some of the ones who don’t can be quite nasty about it and very defensive.
Best to just move on and block so you don’t bother them again. If they get nasty, report them for that as there’s no need for that.
Personally I’ve always loved bi guys. |
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
Don’t take it to heart! Block them and report if they are abusive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah...just block the haters and move on. They aren’t worth it.
Some miserable sods on here, but we find it’s still worth the slog when we find those people we genuinely connect with. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
How are they attacking you?
Are you sure they arent just saying " no thanks, youre not for me?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
Attack? In what way? That’s unacceptable.
Say no thankyou I don’t meet bi guys. That’s acceptable. |
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people??
Attack? In what way? That’s unacceptable.
Say no thankyou I don’t meet bi guys. That’s acceptable. "
exactly this!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attacked? Never been attacked for my sexuality, verbally, in text or physically.
One woman took it upon her arrogant self to insult me and suggest I was a wrong 'un. She soon shut the fuck up after a taste of Cixi venom.
If anything, I'd say being bisexual has made me more approachable, especially to bisexual women. After all, who else can understand their sexuality better than a fellow bisexual.
If anyone is attacking you, I suggest you block and report. Or do what Cixi and Ghengis do. Give it back twice as bad. They are a couple of cunts though, don't advise you copy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
no issue meeting bi, tvs here at all. if ilike someone so be it |
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Bi. , Straight Gay multifunctional Tv or TS. Lesbian or Fab Straight. Who gives a fuck. If you click and it’s your things fine if it’s not. There are still another 28763 people to message. It’s Fab. Let’s all just get along and agree to disagree.
Ps. I’m Bi if you are  |
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
Yeah you've just spoken to the wrong people. My group Fb has been looking for a bi guy for ages as part of a couple and he's got some nasty replies. Also I think it's funny how when you are bi people just assume you're gojng to try fuck them LOL. we've had loads of guys say in the group events but I'm not bi so make sure he doesn't touch me.. And it's like get over yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well in fairness if we are going to talk about double standards on here we should probably get a gigantic scroll in order to write down the list.
Sadly this site is what happens when there is a mismatch of supply and demand. Those in a position to supply can quadruple their expectations.
And of course this becomes a self fulfilling phenomenon, the more they raise expectations the thirstier men get. The thirstier men get the easier it is for them to raise their expectations further and for others to see this expectation and raise theirs.
It's effectively the OPEC of sex this site |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people?? "
Probably just jealous because you're fucking all the straight men.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ehy do so many women on here who are openly bi on there profile attack me an openly bi guy for being guy do alot of guys get this or am I one of the un lucky ones who have just spoken to the wrong people??
Probably just jealous because you're fucking all the straight men. "
That’s a good point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are generally judgemental about lots of things for lots of reasons, I think it's quite normal to be but I happily just stick to those that are looking for similar to me and don't worry about what others think about anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well in fairness if we are going to talk about double standards on here we should probably get a gigantic scroll in order to write down the list.
Sadly this site is what happens when there is a mismatch of supply and demand. Those in a position to supply can quadruple their expectations.
And of course this becomes a self fulfilling phenomenon, the more they raise expectations the thirstier men get. The thirstier men get the easier it is for them to raise their expectations further and for others to see this expectation and raise theirs.
It's effectively the OPEC of sex this site"
JR Ewing would love it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would imagine it's because the amount of bi women on here to bi men is like the gender ratio reversed; apparently about 90% of women in couples are bi, but only 10% of men are? 
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Attack. In what way? That’s unacceptable.
Say no thankyou I don’t meet bi guys. That’s acceptable.
Shame OP not replied to explain what is meant by attacks."
I’d have thought that pretty obvious. He is unlikely to describe simply seeing no ‘bi guys’ on a profile as an attack, particularly as he says he’s spoken to them.
I would assume he means he messaged and they responded in a nasty and unnecessary way. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Honestly OP I'd try not to sweat it.
First of all, well done you for being open and honest about who you are, it takes a huge amount of guts and there is still too much of a stigma around being bi for my liking.
As for people's attitudes. Meh people can suck, and not in the fun way. But what I can tell you is that if you take swinging out of the equation, people are just as intolerant and crappy on the gay scene, not sure what else to say other than people are weird. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry should have explained yesterday. Any profile that says no single men and those that explain no bi men I never message as respect what peoplensaybas is there right.
I am on about women or couples who i message get one or two nice replies then theubsaybkisy ready your profile your fucking sick and disgusting and someone wouldn't want near me and when I ask why they explain real men domt like men and women or other stupid yet horrible messages I do block but my list is larger than my hotlist at this point |
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"Sorry should have explained yesterday. Any profile that says no single men and those that explain no bi men I never message as respect what peoplensaybas is there right.
I am on about women or couples who i message get one or two nice replies then theubsaybkisy ready your profile your fucking sick and disgusting and someone wouldn't want near me and when I ask why they explain real men domt like men and women or other stupid yet horrible messages I do block but my list is larger than my hotlist at this point "
Surely they would have seen that on your profile before the first message went back. Can’t say I’ve ever had anyone say nasty things like that to me. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"(snip)your fucking sick and disgusting and someone wouldn't want near me and when I ask why they explain real men domt like men and women or other stupid yet horrible messages"
That I don't understand, well other than the woman being "bi" for their partner rather than actually being bisexual. (Or has slowly had their sexuality opened up over time through places like fab).
That would be the only reason I can think of why someone would say such hurtful things. If they are actually bi I would have thought they (unless they are much younger than myself) would have gone through some of the same identity issues that I have and have the same appreciation as I do for those who have the strength to be open about who they are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well ultimately its a personal preference. I don't think it's bigoted at all. Many people feel that a man who sucks cock and takes it up the bum isn't as masculine, or the idea of two men puts them off. Some have also expressed concern with STIs in bi men (much higher rates in MSM than in straight men, including HIV). That's something people might consider, like how people are put off when they hear a person barebacks. The idea of two women personally does nothing for me. Am I a bigot?
I'm trans but I don't expect every guy to be into me and don't think they are bigoted if they aren't. Thinking that it's ridiculous. Everyone has their preferences.
This whole "if you don't fuck me you are a bigot" thing is just annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll give you another double standard on Fab. A woman says she’s been attacked through messages and she gets all the sympathy.
When a man says it, disbelief is expressed. Amazing. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Well ultimately its a personal preference. I don't think it's bigoted at all. Many people feel that a man who sucks cock and takes it up the bum isn't as masculine, or the idea of two men puts them off. Some have also expressed concern with STIs in bi men (much higher rates in MSM than in straight men, including HIV). That's something people might consider, like how people are put off when they hear a person barebacks. The idea of two women personally does nothing for me. Am I a bigot?
I'm trans but I don't expect every guy to be into me and don't think they are bigoted if they aren't. Thinking that it's ridiculous. Everyone has their preferences.
This whole "if you don't fuck me you are a bigot" thing is just annoying. "
Noone said that, nowhere has anyone called anyone else a bigot. You might not like the idea of two women together but would you actually say to a bi woman that you wouldn't meet because she is bi?
I wholly get the risk factor involved. One of my partners is bi, another curious, I know and have heard stories of the lack of regard for safer sex in the male bi scene, especially from those with long term female partners, that is a risk you have to factor in, but that isn't what the OP was talking about.
The OP has mentioned that he was told that bi men aren't "real men" and that men having sex with men is disgusting by bi-sexual women.
I get where he is coming from. If you've had to wrestle with your sexuality (and I've yet to meet anyone gay or bi that hasn't had to) then I'd like to think that you don't push social gender constraints onto sexuality and that you appreciate that you're attracted to and love who you love and that doesn't make you less of a man or woman for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because people dont judge others by their standards, just by whatever prejudice/preferences that pop into their head!
Judgemental as site users are, I'm sure there's someone to please you/for you to please OP.
Focus on those profiles xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll give you another double standard on Fab. A woman says she’s been attacked through messages and she gets all the sympathy.
When a man says it, disbelief is expressed. Amazing. "
Not so much disbelief, but usually asked what he did to WARRANT the attack...
Not as much of a problem though, blokes have a thicker skin so more can bounce off them than women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well ultimately its a personal preference. I don't think it's bigoted at all. Many people feel that a man who sucks cock and takes it up the bum isn't as masculine, or the idea of two men puts them off. Some have also expressed concern with STIs in bi men (much higher rates in MSM than in straight men, including HIV). That's something people might consider, like how people are put off when they hear a person barebacks. The idea of two women personally does nothing for me. Am I a bigot?
I'm trans but I don't expect every guy to be into me and don't think they are bigoted if they aren't. Thinking that it's ridiculous. Everyone has their preferences.
This whole "if you don't fuck me you are a bigot" thing is just annoying. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll give you another double standard on Fab. A woman says she’s been attacked through messages and she gets all the sympathy.
When a man says it, disbelief is expressed. Amazing.
Not so much disbelief, but usually asked what he did to WARRANT the attack...
Not as much of a problem though, blokes have a thicker skin so more can bounce off them than women."
I have skin like a rhino, but I wouldn't expect to be called a liar if I said I was attacked for my sexuality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The answer to this, as with most double standards really is for the group granting the beneficial side of the double standard to cease granting it, and treat the other group as it is treated.
The problem is that can't happen with our current in-built sexual drives. Men as a whole cannot unionise and control the market the way women can.
I would love to see run an experiment on a controlled population to see the effect of introducing a sex drive neutralising agent into the local water supply. My hypothesis is that society would change unrecognisably within 10 years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This whole "if you don't fuck me you are a bigot" thing is just annoying. "
This
I have noticed it gradually getting worse, soon it will be politically incorrect to have any preferences. You will be hounded and persecuted if you state any preference at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This whole "if you don't fuck me you are a bigot" thing is just annoying.
This
I have noticed it gradually getting worse, soon it will be politically incorrect to have any preferences. You will be hounded and persecuted if you state any preference at all.
"
I think it's already like that. |
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No double standards here. I'm a bisexual woman and I've had relationships and played with bisexual men. I often find they have less sexual hang ups than a lot of straight men and men who have received anal sex are often much better at giving it! 
Some on here need to learn the difference between having preferences and abusing, shaming and insulting people who don't fit theirs. |
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