FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Some polite advice
Some polite advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some things may help pepole new to the scene.
Understanding what swinging is.
Swingers are here for their own benefit, to satisfy their own needs, wants, desires and fantasies. Girls are not here to make all your fantasies real if you meet some that's great, but no one is under any obligation to have sex with you at any time, just because we are swingers and go to clubs or are on this site does not mean we will have sex with anyone and if anything it's the exact opposite there has to be some form of attraction.
Honesty goes a long way
Don't exaggerate your looks, ability, age, or how your endowment be honest at end of the day you show up at a meet or club and have lied that's probably the end of that meet for you.
Mails
Make your mails concise, but not a one line "want to meet" Make sure that you fit what that person's looking for if stated in there profile, and reiterate the points where you fit the description.
Don't send a 2000 word essay telling us all about your fantasy and experiences. Just remember first impressions count, be polite, open.
Pictures
If you are sending a picture, unless requested, always send a face(if your OK to or send at a later date) & body shot, don't use dick pics and only use upto date pictures not ones from when you younger.
Have some grace
If you send a message and you get a turn down or no repl, don't then harass them. Be graceful and accept that you may not be there cup of tea. Sending a dozen messages asking for reasons or being abusive will not get you anywhere, and in many cases will mean that a warning goes around the community to avoid you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh please...
Been on the site 5 months  "
Actually been on site for 6 years started new profile when images where stolen by a single male used to, lure pepole out to mug. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not at all it's a reminder to all single guys and tinder guys that we not here to please there every whim, and actually respect pepole your contacting.
When we get messages like
"come fuck me know"
"suck my dick till I cum then leave"
"I'm going to eat your ass tie. You down and use you
"Humilate me and degrade me"
List goes on
But everyone has there diffrent fantasy, and what I'm meaning is pepole are here for there fantasys and kinks and will want to match it to pepole with similar kinks. Currently in our local scene its guys thinking we couple and females are there for. There pleasure only and can't be fussy (obviously not all guys but a good majority)
I could have mabey worded it better.
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"Oh please...
Been on the site 5 months
Actually been on site for 6 years started new profile when images where stolen by a single male used to, lure pepole out to mug. "
So you’ll know that only a minority of Fabbers read the forums, what you think only single men do, others do and that it will never change.
Have a moan, I do occasionally as it’s goid to let go of the frustrations but nothing will change here, the change starts out there by encouraging humans to respect humans. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, are you saying swingers are selfish and don't care about the needs of the people who join them?"
That’s how I read it, swinging to us has always been about everyone’s involvement, needs and desires, there are however many selfish people out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just got my popcorn and fizzy with a long straw and recliner. The sun is out and I hear murmuring in the distance.  "
 I am too but not fizzy I need something hard to smack my head too much murmuring can hear hear from miles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
...... Currently in our local scene its guys thinking we couple and females are there for. There pleasure only and can't be fussy (obviously not all guys but a good majority)
"
And this is why I won't meet couples or even a lady from a couple's profile.
Maybe you should condider changing your scene if that's the type of guys you're meeting.
I might add that you're only talking to a minority as 1% of fabbers use the forums, maybe another couple % read them, and most likely your message is aimed at the wrong audience.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sadly this is true probably won't be seen or read for who it's ment. As this more intended for new guys coming on thinking its just a free for all shag fest.
Thing is we don't wouldn't meet or play with these pepole but, we had experience of the exact same pepole showing up at clubs as groups trying to push women into private rooms like it's my go know, have had friends on scene pushed in door locked they had to scream to get guy to move let them out.
We have started traveling out of our area as found the scene in other area a lot better.
Mean it could be we came from the Glasgow scene after being on it for 4 years where it was completely diffrent to where we are know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not at all it's a reminder to all single guys and tinder guys that we not here to please there every whim, and actually respect pepole your contacting.
When we get messages like
"come fuck me know"
"suck my dick till I cum then leave"
"I'm going to eat your ass tie. You down and use you
"Humilate me and degrade me"
List goes on
But everyone has there diffrent fantasy, and what I'm meaning is pepole are here for there fantasys and kinks and will want to match it to pepole with similar kinks. Currently in our local scene its guys thinking we couple and females are there for. There pleasure only and can't be fussy (obviously not all guys but a good majority)
I could have mabey worded it better.
"
initially it sounded okay, then you had to point out this is a reminder to single guys.
While it often goes 'unreported' plenty of couples/fems/tv's/ts's/bi's can do the same behaviours.
You really have to think about the relative numbers to understand where a majority of bad apples will come from, but you cannot exclude the other bad apples from other groups. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not at all it's a reminder to all single guys and tinder guys that we not here to please there every whim, and actually respect pepole your contacting.
When we get messages like
"come fuck me know"
"suck my dick till I cum then leave"
"I'm going to eat your ass tie. You down and use you
"Humilate me and degrade me"
List goes on
But everyone has there diffrent fantasy, and what I'm meaning is pepole are here for there fantasys and kinks and will want to match it to pepole with similar kinks. Currently in our local scene its guys thinking we couple and females are there for. There pleasure only and can't be fussy (obviously not all guys but a good majority)
I could have mabey worded it better.
initially it sounded okay, then you had to point out this is a reminder to single guys.
While it often goes 'unreported' plenty of couples/fems/tv's/ts's/bi's can do the same behaviours.
You really have to think about the relative numbers to understand where a majority of bad apples will come from, but you cannot exclude the other bad apples from other groups."
TV/ts I can not comment on as we never really had any bother from them, as for couples I must say we been lucky enough never to have any bad experience, so this just from my experience. But yes I can imagine there are couples, single fems and tv/ts that are just the same but our experience has been with guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*just a side note, I find fabs FAQ/Guides/rules to be enough in most instances."
Yea but how many pepole follow it  , like it says if they don't message back or delete its probably a no or not inntrested, yet many pepole get repeat messages or abuse sadly I know its a small number doing this but still not plesent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*just a side note, I find fabs FAQ/Guides/rules to be enough in most instances.
Yea but how many pepole follow it , like it says if they don't message back or delete its probably a no or not inntrested, yet many pepole get repeat messages or abuse sadly I know its a small number doing this but still not plesent. "
ohh you nearly said pee-hole  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"*just a side note, I find fabs FAQ/Guides/rules to be enough in most instances.
Yea but how many pepole follow it , like it says if they don't message back or delete its probably a no or not inntrested, yet many pepole get repeat messages or abuse sadly I know its a small number doing this but still not plesent.
ohh you nearly said pee-hole "
ROFL |
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"Not at all it's a reminder to all single guys and tinder guys that we not here to please there every whim, and actually respect pepole your contacting.
When we get messages like
"come fuck me know"
"suck my dick till I cum then leave"
"I'm going to eat your ass tie. You down and use you
"Humilate me and degrade me"
List goes on
But everyone has there diffrent fantasy, and what I'm meaning is pepole are here for there fantasys and kinks and will want to match it to pepole with similar kinks. Currently in our local scene its guys thinking we couple and females are there for. There pleasure only and can't be fussy (obviously not all guys but a good majority)
I could have mabey worded it better.
initially it sounded okay, then you had to point out this is a reminder to single guys.
While it often goes 'unreported' plenty of couples/fems/tv's/ts's/bi's can do the same behaviours.
You really have to think about the relative numbers to understand where a majority of bad apples will come from, but you cannot exclude the other bad apples from other groups."
Absolutely agree. I get equally bad messages from single women and couples, there's just less of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea why said could done with double checking how it read and worded it better sadly can't just edit a post have to delete and repost
G"
You've explained. 
I do agree, respect is everything.
I disagree about training the bad people how to behave. I want them to continue behaving badly so I can avoid them. I don't want to teach the bad disrespectful people how to behave as I might end up meeting them by accident. Hope that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea why said could done with double checking how it read and worded it better sadly can't just edit a post have to delete and repost
G
You've explained.
I do agree, respect is everything.
I disagree about training the bad people how to behave. I want them to continue behaving badly so I can avoid them. I don't want to teach the bad disrespectful people how to behave as I might end up meeting them by accident. Hope that makes sense. "
Completely. It's a good natural filter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yea why said could done with double checking how it read and worded it better sadly can't just edit a post have to delete and repost
G
You've explained.
I do agree, respect is everything.
I disagree about training the bad people how to behave. I want them to continue behaving badly so I can avoid them. I don't want to teach the bad disrespectful people how to behave as I might end up meeting them by accident. Hope that makes sense. "
I was more meaning just new guys to the scene that might be a little lost, but yea I didn't think of the long term bad guys  . |
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