FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > A natural ending...

A natural ending...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm the sort who completely understands this. Whilst trying to avoid getting the 'feels' once you have a regular friend, you develop an emotional connection, even though you aren't in a relationship.

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

I have several friends I have lost contact with, who I can't reconnect with due to change of circumstances (and geographical limitations). Without being in a full blown romance, we shared a connection.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm the sort who completely understands this. Whilst trying to avoid getting the 'feels' once you have a regular friend, you develop an emotional connection, even though you aren't in a relationship.

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x"

Thank you so, so much... yes mourning. See you worded it better lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x

Thank you so, so much... yes mourning. See you worded it better lol x "

I hope everything works out for you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can relate.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple over a year ago

Stockport

Always sad when this happens. Give yourself a break, but don’t do anything rash that you’ll regret. Remember you're in charge of you, so lots of positive thoughts and when you’re ready you’ll be just fine. Hugs and love from me

Mrs xxx

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By *ecks74Woman over a year ago

wrexham

Totally get this, I am going through the same at the moment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

"
yes for many it can't be helped feelings get involved you're up close and personal, you can't just remain chat buddies then ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally relate to this and it's really hard. We're not supposed to develop feelings but it's inevitable that we become close to someone we see and chat to on a regular basis.

I need to get things off my chest sometimes and I can't talk to my 'regular' friends about it. Thankfully I've got a really good swinging friend who I confide in. She puts things into perspective and really helps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Totally relate to this and it's really hard. We're not supposed to develop feelings but it's inevitable that we become close to someone we see and chat to on a regular basis.

X"
I'm great for that to tell me anything

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

If someone tells me they're stepping away from swinging (or from me) and won't be meeting anymore, I tend to wish them well and hope that they'll be happy, even though I will miss them. Being told gives a closure of sorts and allows you to smile, remember the good times, and move on. It's when someone just vanishes or ghosts me that I find hard... I wonder what I did or said wrong and that tends to put a pall over the good memories.

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By *rkeb3Man over a year ago

east Lancashire road

Thankfully i am like a robot

If some one said that to me I take them off my mind n delete the memory permanent in days if not hours move on with my life but I know every one is different lol

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By *ust chilled out meMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I have fab friends that I dont meet anymore but we still chat and would meet again just socially

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

We've had a strange one, we met a lovely lady,swoped numbers after, sent messages on here about meeting again, we went away on our jollies for a week came back and she'd gone but no unlos all messages had gone so would that mean we're blocked or simply she's left ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m not a robot and enjoy and really like the select few that I meet. For that reason I would describe myself as a lover that likes to share rather than a seasoned swinger. It’s what makes a few of us unique. Real emotions are your strength OP never feel weird about it x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look at it this way op you have been a stop on their journey but now they are back on the road all the better for knowing you and who knows maybe one day they'll want to stop by again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not a robot and enjoy and really like the select few that I meet. For that reason I would describe myself as a lover that likes to share rather than a seasoned swinger. It’s what makes a few of us unique. Real emotions are your strength OP never feel weird about it x"

There is nothing wrong with having real emotions and sharing them, unfortunately when it goes wrong it can hurt, but that is another emotion! Don't give up on them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x

Thank you so, so much... yes mourning. See you worded it better lol x

I hope everything works out for you x"

I was the one who said goodbye this morning... I had to for my own sanity x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can relate. "

Ouch x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Always sad when this happens. Give yourself a break, but don’t do anything rash that you’ll regret. Remember you're in charge of you, so lots of positive thoughts and when you’re ready you’ll be just fine. Hugs and love from me

Mrs xxx "

Thank you... yes we are our own counsel BUT I like closure so I like to give closure where I can.

I can’t just wait around for nothing while putting off someone that could be special enough to find that songs off the same swinging song sheet x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Totally get this, I am going through the same at the moment

If they ended it I’m so sorry

if you felt you had to, be proud of yourself for maintaining your self xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

yes for many it can't be helped feelings get involved you're up close and personal, you can't just remain chat buddies then ?"

I’ve remained chat buddies with people yes and it’s so cool because we were honest with our intentions from the beginning... I’m talking about the carrot danglers that keep me simmering on the back burner of the cooker of their lives lol...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Totally relate to this and it's really hard. We're not supposed to develop feelings but it's inevitable that we become close to someone we see and chat to on a regular basis.

I have a couple of those which does help having chatted through forums and seeing that they are sound, lovely girls x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If someone tells me they're stepping away from swinging (or from me) and won't be meeting anymore, I tend to wish them well and hope that they'll be happy, even though I will miss them. Being told gives a closure of sorts and allows you to smile, remember the good times, and move on. It's when someone just vanishes or ghosts me that I find hard... I wonder what I did or said wrong and that tends to put a pall over the good memories. "

Oh yes! Exactly this!

I have no respect for ghosters especially the ones who come back after months with the “I’ve been busy” or “my head went” excuses...

A simple “Taking a break look after yourself, girl” would be much better especially if they want a way back in down the line x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thankfully i am like a robot

If some one said that to me I take them off my mind n delete the memory permanent in days if not hours move on with my life but I know every one is different lol"

We all have our own defence mechanisms nothing wrong with that at all x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have fab friends that I dont meet anymore but we still chat and would meet again just socially "

Love this! It’s the right grown-up attitude to swinging x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've had a strange one, we met a lovely lady,swoped numbers after, sent messages on here about meeting again, we went away on our jollies for a week came back and she'd gone but no unlos all messages had gone so would that mean we're blocked or simply she's left ??

Left the site or was removed xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think that’s my problem... I can’t fuck for the sake of it... so naturally with a rapport comes a sort of “affection” I guess? Maybe even an infatuation if “he” is that interesting to me... x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Look at it this way op you have been a stop on their journey but now they are back on the road all the better for knowing you and who knows maybe one day they'll want to stop by again"

I look at Fab as everyone I’ve met in person socially was either a blessing or a lesson. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find if someone has moved on from u it's best to let them be the ones to re- initiate contact no need for you to come across as needy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There is nothing wrong with having real emotions and sharing them, unfortunately when it goes wrong it can hurt, but that is another emotion! Don't give up on them.

I am who I am... if they want me to change into someone I’m not then they obviously didn’t want the real version of me anyway... therefore I won’t give up on myself x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look at it this way op you have been a stop on their journey but now they are back on the road all the better for knowing you and who knows maybe one day they'll want to stop by again

I look at Fab as everyone I’ve met in person socially was either a blessing or a lesson. X "
this I agree with there are certain people I'm glad I have met and some I've met I wish I'd listened to my gut and I've learnt that first instincts are usually right

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find if someone has moved on from u it's best to let them be the ones to re- initiate contact no need for you to come across as needy "

Agreed but I’m the one whose said bye in this instance lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Look at it this way op you have been a stop on their journey but now they are back on the road all the better for knowing you and who knows maybe one day they'll want to stop by again

I look at Fab as everyone I’ve met in person socially was either a blessing or a lesson. X this I agree with there are certain people I'm glad I have met and some I've met I wish I'd listened to my gut and I've learnt that first instincts are usually right"

Hindsight is a beautiful thing and hope your cold gets better soon x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find if someone has moved on from u it's best to let them be the ones to re- initiate contact no need for you to come across as needy

Agreed but I’m the one whose said bye in this instance lol x"
well chances are at some stage u will say hello again in the future if only to see how they are doing x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you all so much for all your inputs xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find if someone has moved on from u it's best to let them be the ones to re- initiate contact no need for you to come across as needy

Agreed but I’m the one whose said bye in this instance lol xwell chances are at some stage u will say hello again in the future if only to see how they are doing x"

No lovely, I’m quite resolute. After months of patience with people I get to the “when it’s over, it’s over” stage. Hence the wishing them well and keeping their memory tucked away fondly x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look at it this way op you have been a stop on their journey but now they are back on the road all the better for knowing you and who knows maybe one day they'll want to stop by again

Hindsight is a beautiful thing and hope your cold gets better soon x "
it's getting better thanks just need to sort throat out in hindsight I'd have worn a scarf lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I can relate to that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes I can relate to that. "

Hope all the answers and replies bring you the comfort that they’ve brought me x

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By *.gerri.xTV/TS over a year ago

North west

Its crazy how quickly some of these frien dships can build into what feels like something meaningful and you feel a sense of permanance to the relationship ....few months later you can chat in the same chat room an nothing but a faded sense of aomething an it's not an old ambi pur plug in

But more narcissistically

Sorry i meant more importanly

I read your profile OP , I felt we bonded so fast, lived lives together

, laughed , secret giggled @ some of those guys and whispered about them lot over der.

I even quickly played through some fantasy live OS distro sort of scenes sliding my key smoothly into your port even though its Hard ware would it get me though .

Seriously I was attached emotionally , mentally * looks between legs* and to be fair semi physically.

Then I looked to reach out and you'd gone ,taken away by choices you made . This Ellie OS has no binary wtfuckarie search paramater

So wanted to h4x0r in with an old fashioned M.E.A.T injection but probably best keeeping it 1337

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By *.gerri.xTV/TS over a year ago

North west

shit

i mean

nice profile OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its crazy how quickly some of these frien dships can build into what feels like something meaningful and you feel a sense of permanance to the relationship ....few months later you can chat in the same chat room an nothing but a faded sense of aomething an it's not an old ambi pur plug in

But more narcissistically

Sorry i meant more importanly

I read your profile OP , I felt we bonded so fast, lived lives together

, laughed , secret giggled @ some of those guys and whispered about them lot over der.

I even quickly played through some fantasy live OS distro sort of scenes sliding my key smoothly into your port even though its Hard ware would it get me though .

Seriously I was attached emotionally , mentally * looks between legs* and to be fair semi physically.

Then I looked to reach out and you'd gone ,taken away by choices you made . This Ellie OS has no binary wtfuckarie search paramater

So wanted to h4x0r in with an old fashioned M.E.A.T injection but probably best keeeping it 1337

"
wtf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh for God's sake.....

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By *.gerri.xTV/TS over a year ago

North west

But more narcissistically

Sorry i meant more importanly

I read your profile OP , I felt we bonded so fast, lived lives together

, laughed , secret giggled @ some of those guys and whispered about them lot over der.

I even quickly played through some fantasy live OS distro sort of scenes sliding my key smoothly into your port even though its Hard ware would it get me though .

Seriously I was attached emotionally , mentally * looks between legs* and to be fair semi physically.

Then I looked to reach out and you'd gone ,taken away by choices you made . This Ellie OS has no binary wtfuckarie search paramater

So wanted to h4x0r in with an old fashioned M.E.A.T injection but probably best keeeping it 1337

wtf "

I know eh

i'm thinking bi polar ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

I have made some very good friends, 3 I would say I have an emotional connection with. There has been times when we haven't been as close and we have felt sad about it and we do miss eachother. But you know what, people like that don't come a long very often and they are the ones who will come back. So be melancholy, and enjoy it, it means something mattered to you, you had something special... that's lucky.

Every sad song that comes on or break up song or even happy song reminds me of this one particular person and I did have strong feelings for him last year. We didn't break up but it did feel like it, We have both moved on but I got a message from him this morning saying he missed me and I miss him to truly.

Friends come and go, but true friends leave footprints in your heart.

Fab is not just for fucking it's where connections are made. I am glad I came xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But more narcissistically

Sorry i meant more importanly

I read your profile OP , I felt we bonded so fast, lived lives together

, laughed , secret giggled @ some of those guys and whispered about them lot over der.

I even quickly played through some fantasy live OS distro sort of scenes sliding my key smoothly into your port even though its Hard ware would it get me though .

Seriously I was attached emotionally , mentally * looks between legs* and to be fair semi physically.

Then I looked to reach out and you'd gone ,taken away by choices you made . This Ellie OS has no binary wtfuckarie search paramater

So wanted to h4x0r in with an old fashioned M.E.A.T injection but probably best keeeping it 1337

Why though..? Just why?

There’s no fanny pics for a start...

And search parameters are there for a reason called preference.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"shit

i mean

nice profile OP "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh for God's sake.....

What now???

You can just scroll past if you don’t like something you know...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x"

None of those where I’m coming from... dunno about anyone else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x

None of those where I’m coming from... dunno about anyone else

"
that wasn't aimed at u list I'm trying to figure out matey but don't think I'm the guy to do that lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

Friends come and go, but true friends leave footprints in your heart.

Fab is not just for fucking it's where connections are made. I am glad I came xxx"

Exactly this... thank you. The common denominator is sex BUT is it really so bad to not have the personality of a lobotomised amoeba?

I love the friends I’ve made on here to bits and they know that. If they choose to discard it or leave me in the position where I need to discard them then they were never really friends x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x

None of those where I’m coming from... dunno about anyone else

that wasn't aimed at u list I'm trying to figure out matey but don't think I'm the guy to do that lol"

Well this thread has took the very twist I asked it not to take

Dearie-me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x

None of those where I’m coming from... dunno about anyone else

that wasn't aimed at u list I'm trying to figure out matey but don't think I'm the guy to do that lol

Well this thread has took the very twist I asked it not to take

Dearie-me

"
always happy to chat out if forum with anyone ,but you can't always control these threads lust they take on a life of their own

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sure what to think lol ,fantasist,mental,or just misunderstood or on a higher plain x

None of those where I’m coming from... dunno about anyone else

that wasn't aimed at u list I'm trying to figure out matey but don't think I'm the guy to do that lol

Well this thread has took the very twist I asked it not to take

Dearie-me

always happy to chat out if forum with anyone ,but you can't always control these threads lust they take on a life of their own"

Hmm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have maybe 4or 5 friends in my list I actually talk to regular 3 I have played with the others met socially other friends have left fab but I have remained in phone contact with I regard myself as lucky to know these people but in reality if they never spoke to me again I would be upset but in time I'd make new friends it's just like leaving school u lose touch and make new friends

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to hear this. It's hard indeed when it happens for both involved.

Ive had it happen in different ways, one just walked away after 9 months as a FB with whom we shared deep hard personal experiences with, with just a simple text, never to answer another message. I've also got friends whom circumstances changed but we still chat regularly and even meet socially for catching up.

I'm a Sapiosexual and so don't do sex without mental and and some emotional involvement. One reason I won't do one offs and only look for those who will meet relatedly. It hurts when it happens, and one can feel the pain that the other can or may go through too.

Today is All I have and so today I live, I love, I laugh, I cry, I hurt. Tomorrow is a new day but I'll have many of the same feelings, some good some not so good. It's friends that help in the good and the bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh for God's sake....

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By *ficouldMan over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the friends was put in our life for a short while wasnt for us forever x

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By *il73Woman over a year ago

Hyde

It is tough if you have to say 'goodbye' , often you cant discuss openly with 'regular'friends about what has happened, and also someone can disappear and you have no way of knowing what has happened as they wont think to, or be able to, contact you.

Such is the fluid nature of fwb/Fab I guess, one of the downsides for sure for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have maybe 4or 5 friends in my list I actually talk to regular 3 I have played with the others met socially other friends have left fab but I have remained in phone contact with I regard myself as lucky to know these people but in reality if they never spoke to me again I would be upset but in time I'd make new friends it's just like leaving school u lose touch and make new friends "

Agreed x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry to hear this. It's hard indeed when it happens for both involved.

Lucky to have you as my friend then x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh for God's sake...."

Yeah you keep saying that

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sometimes the friends was put in our life for a short while wasnt for us forever x"

Yes I do believe in this x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It is tough if you have to say 'goodbye' , often you cant discuss openly with 'regular'friends about what has happened, and also someone can disappear and you have no way of knowing what has happened as they wont think to, or be able to, contact you.

Such is the fluid nature of fwb/Fab I guess, one of the downsides for sure for me"

I guess that’s what happens now in the digital age... we love things yet use people x

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Left the site or was removed xx "

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Left the site or was removed xx

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx"

It's an unfortunate update that fab implemented, that messages of someone who deletes are automatically removed. I think there should have been some consideration to the victims of abusive messages in these circumstances and a 48 hr or 72 he delay put in. Currently unless you're quick to screenshot them you have no evidence and they just return again with a new profile to repeat their childish games.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh, how this thread has struck a note with me!

I lost my swinging partner from here a while back. We played together for about 18 months and had been chatting for some time before that. Now although we played with other males,females and couples during our time together there was always a certain affection and intensity between us.. We would spend non swinging time together and always enjoyed each others company out of bed as well as in it. She was very special and I miss her a lot!

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Left the site or was removed xx

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx

Lol we are just happy we wasn't blocked I have faith shell be back in that case lol happy now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Left the site or was removed xx

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx

Lol we are just happy we wasn't blocked I have faith shell be back in that case lol happy now

"
Pepe have a tendancy to reappear and get in touch ,she probably disappeared because she couldn't handle all the abuse or message overload she was getting or maybe she had a stalker ,see it quite alot people come and go and come back again like yo-yos some do it as a way of getting their veris down as well or simply they forget their log in details

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh, how this thread has struck a note with me!

That’s a long time! No wonder you feel that sense of loss way more.

But it shows you’re human and that’s a lovely trait on here xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Left the site or was removed xx

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx

Totally agree on this... and it’s not about the last word, it’s about protecting others however if they dismiss it then why care? It’s their funeral x

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

Oh yes! Exactly this!

I have no respect for ghosters especially the ones who come back after months with the “I’ve been busy” or “my head went” excuses...

A simple “Taking a break look after yourself, girl” would be much better especially if they want a way back in down the line x "

Absolutely... Takes only a few seconds to do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh yes! Exactly this!

I have no respect for ghosters especially the ones who come back after months with the “I’ve been busy” or “my head went” excuses...

A simple “Taking a break look after yourself, girl” would be much better especially if they want a way back in down the line x

Absolutely... Takes only a few seconds to do. "

Agree, unless like me you get 378 messages on week days and that can double on weekends when all the ladies are d*unk sending inappropriate messages to help them out. Then it takes a bit more time.

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By *hewifeandiCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Left the site or was removed xx

That is a relief as we couldn't think why she'd block us and she was really nice aswell

Thanksx

Lol we are just happy we wasn't blocked I have faith shell be back in that case lol happy now

Pepe have a tendancy to reappear and get in touch ,she probably disappeared because she couldn't handle all the abuse or message overload she was getting or maybe she had a stalker ,see it quite alot people come and go and come back again like yo-yos some do it as a way of getting their veris down as well or simply they forget their log in details"

Thanks ,she did say she'd be leaving for awhile but didn't think it would be so quick,however we are pretty sure she'll be back and she has the wife's number so I'm sure we will be seeing her again in the future

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By *ambsLad2Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Thank you - you've just nailed a problem I've had for the past 9 months since an affair ended right on the head. We're still in touch but I've realised I must be mourning.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thank you - you've just nailed a problem I've had for the past 9 months since an affair ended right on the head. We're still in touch but I've realised I must be mourning."

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Huggles OP, it can be very hard.

People say don't get invested, but it's not that easy when you are a caring person x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Huggles OP, it can be very hard.

People say don't get invested, but it's not that easy when you are a caring person x"

Indeed and major huggle back x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trouble is with swinging everyone says NSA fun but at the end of the day if you meet 2,3or 4 times or more emotions will creep in somewhere along the line

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Trouble is with swinging everyone says NSA fun but at the end of the day if you meet 2,3or 4 times or more emotions will creep in somewhere along the line "

I’m the other way on that... if you talk to me all day every day and I see you’re switched on and articulate that’s when I think hell yes

It’s more the intellect that wins me over x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Trouble is with swinging everyone says NSA fun but at the end of the day if you meet 2,3or 4 times or more emotions will creep in somewhere along the line "
totally agree. I met my fb in November 2017. Last September we decided we'd only meet people together. We are now best friends aswell as lovers. Regardless of where and how you meet someone. If you spend alot of time and intimacy with someone feelings are going to develop. So it was on swingers site. I didnt join fab to meet someone but I did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Trouble is with swinging everyone says NSA fun but at the end of the day if you meet 2,3or 4 times or more emotions will creep in somewhere along the line totally agree. I met my fb in November 2017. Last September we decided we'd only meet people together. We are now best friends aswell as lovers. Regardless of where and how you meet someone. If you spend alot of time and intimacy with someone feelings are going to develop. So it was on swingers site. I didnt join fab to meet someone but I did. "

Said this before and I stand by it 1000%

I don’t care if it’s Tinder or Tesco you meet on! Being a Fabber doesn’t devalue anyone’s worth if I’m intrigued enough to socialise and attracted enough to have sex with them

I set out on this journey at the end of summer because I didn’t want a heavy relationship and had fantasies I wanted to explore...

That hasn’t changed at all BUT I have stumbled upon souls that have really captivated me...

The ones that I’ve captivated by return, are still here in my life...

But I cannot be chasing comets and risk losing stars x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves.

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By *urse234Woman over a year ago

somewhere in Essex

Literally going through this right now. After speak to someone for 3 years + with multiple visits, i was shocked to see them off my hotlist and later finding out theyve blocked me.

Felt quite numb to start with.

I know its a swingers site for NSA but after that long you do feel Like you 'know' them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves."

Dammit lovely, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying...

I knew a guy that justified his every move with “its a swinging site” yet if I had a coffee with someone, I’d get told off!

Level the field and treat people how you wish to be treated...

And it’s ok to be you know, human?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Literally going through this right now. After speak to someone for 3 years + with multiple visits, i was shocked to see them off my hotlist and later finding out theyve blocked me.

Felt quite numb to start with.

I know its a swingers site for NSA but after that long you do feel Like you 'know' them.

To be ghosted like that is a reflection of them not you... a cowardly move by someone not worth a hosepipe of piss should they be burning to death!

I fucking abhor people that cannot say “I won’t be able to meet again but do take care”

Simple, polite, no drama...

But to just vanish like Harry fucking Houdini just makes you a prick, not the “magic” that the ego believes they are.

Epitome of rude, insecure, little people that need taking down a peg or 5

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By *urse234Woman over a year ago

somewhere in Essex

"Literally going through this right now. After speak to someone for 3 years + with multiple visits, i was shocked to see them off my hotlist and later finding out theyve blocked me.

Felt quite numb to start with.

I know its a swingers site for NSA but after that long you do feel Like you 'know' them.

To be ghosted like that is a reflection of them not you... a cowardly move by someone not worth a hosepipe of piss should they be burning to death!

I fucking abhor people that cannot say “I won’t be able to meet again but do take care”

Simple, polite, no drama...

But to just vanish like Harry fucking Houdini just makes you a prick, not the “magic” that the ego believes they are.

Epitome of rude, insecure, little people that need taking down a peg or 5

Just felt numb. Its like doubting yourself.

A simple message would have saved so much time! And politeness doesnt cost anything x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves.

Dammit lovely, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying...

I knew a guy that justified his every move with “its a swinging site” yet if I had a coffee with someone, I’d get told off!

Level the field and treat people how you wish to be treated...

And it’s ok to be you know, human?

X "

I kind of hope it's ok to be human. Even for a cave man

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Literally going through this right now. After speak to someone for 3 years + with multiple visits, i was shocked to see them off my hotlist and later finding out theyve blocked me.

Felt quite numb to start with.

I know its a swingers site for NSA but after that long you do feel Like you 'know' them.

To be ghosted like that is a reflection of them not you... a cowardly move by someone not worth a hosepipe of piss should they be burning to death!

I fucking abhor people that cannot say “I won’t be able to meet again but do take care”

Simple, polite, no drama...

But to just vanish like Harry fucking Houdini just makes you a prick, not the “magic” that the ego believes they are.

Epitome of rude, insecure, little people that need taking down a peg or 5

Just felt numb. Its like doubting yourself.

A simple message would have saved so much time! And politeness doesnt cost anything x"

Been there myself and you drive yourself crazy thinking what did I do wrong but know you haven’t done anything and still doubt yourself...

Sorry you went through this... but if someone can be such a little wimp and not have the balls to at the least send a message after 3 damn years then ask yourself:

Is this what you want in your bed?

Massive hug x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Said this before and I stand by it 1000%

I don’t care if it’s Tinder or Tesco you meet on! Being a Fabber doesn’t devalue anyone’s worth if I’m intrigued enough to socialise and attracted enough to have sex with them

I set out on this journey at the end of summer because I didn’t want a heavy relationship and had fantasies I wanted to explore...

That hasn’t changed at all BUT I have stumbled upon souls that have really captivated me...

The ones that I’ve captivated by return, are still here in my life...

But I cannot be chasing comets and risk losing stars x "
together we have explored many of our fantasies. Clubs, parties etc. But also enjoyed days out. We went to london together the other week. Its a difficult one. But we are open and honest with each other now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves.

Dammit lovely, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying...

I knew a guy that justified his every move with “its a swinging site” yet if I had a coffee with someone, I’d get told off!

Level the field and treat people how you wish to be treated...

And it’s ok to be you know, human?

I kind of hope it's ok to be human. Even for a cave man

You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the honour of chatting to on here... I will come and meet you one day and we can club antelope to death, wearing loincloths.

One of the most human, is you. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Said this before and I stand by it 1000%

I don’t care if it’s Tinder or Tesco you meet on! Being a Fabber doesn’t devalue anyone’s worth if I’m intrigued enough to socialise and attracted enough to have sex with them

I set out on this journey at the end of summer because I didn’t want a heavy relationship and had fantasies I wanted to explore...

That hasn’t changed at all BUT I have stumbled upon souls that have really captivated me...

The ones that I’ve captivated by return, are still here in my life...

But I cannot be chasing comets and risk losing stars x together we have explored many of our fantasies. Clubs, parties etc. But also enjoyed days out. We went to london together the other week. Its a difficult one. But we are open and honest with each other now. "

And THAT ladies and gents, is what swinging is... x

Much love x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves.

Dammit lovely, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying...

I knew a guy that justified his every move with “its a swinging site” yet if I had a coffee with someone, I’d get told off!

Level the field and treat people how you wish to be treated...

And it’s ok to be you know, human?

I kind of hope it's ok to be human. Even for a cave man

You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the honour of chatting to on here... I will come and meet you one day and we can club antelope to death, wearing loincloths.

One of the most human, is you. Xx "

You have just made a cave man

Loincloths sounds like an interesting fashion choice. But dont tell anyone, I could never club a poor defenceless animal...

You know where to find me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find it more surprising when people say they dont develop feelings or connect with emotions their own and/or another's.

It's a normal consequence of all human interaction, and not just restricted to NSA sex.

But then we do live in a throw away society, and it seems all to easy for some to treat others like commodities, for reasons best known to themselves.

Dammit lovely, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying...

I knew a guy that justified his every move with “its a swinging site” yet if I had a coffee with someone, I’d get told off!

Level the field and treat people how you wish to be treated...

And it’s ok to be you know, human?

I kind of hope it's ok to be human. Even for a cave man

You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the honour of chatting to on here... I will come and meet you one day and we can club antelope to death, wearing loincloths.

One of the most human, is you. Xx

You have just made a cave man

Loincloths sounds like an interesting fashion choice. But dont tell anyone, I could never club a poor defenceless animal...

You know where to find me

Third rock from the sun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PS : OP you are gorgeous x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"PS : OP you are gorgeous x"

I’m really shit at taking compliments but erm thank you although everyone is gorgeous with filters lol...

Really that’s sweet x

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By *lwayshorny79Woman over a year ago

Leicester

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x"

I can relate to this, however I was just blocked and feel I need an explanation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x

I can relate to this, however I was just blocked and feel I need an explanation."

I love closure and struggle without it BUT in Fab world I learnt quickly you have to find your own closure.

Much love x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"PS : OP you are gorgeous x

I’m really shit at taking compliments but erm thank you although everyone is gorgeous with filters lol...

Who's bad at taking compliments

Really that’s sweet x

Than you btw.

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By *lwayshorny79Woman over a year ago

Leicester

Letting go of that person, particularly if there is a reason can be difficult.

You are mourning that loss. A perfectly normal human reaction x

I can relate to this, however I was just blocked and feel I need an explanation.

I love closure and struggle without it BUT in Fab world I learnt quickly you have to find your own closure.

Much love x "

Thanks. This is new to me still.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"PS : OP you are gorgeous x

I’m really shit at taking compliments but erm thank you although everyone is gorgeous with filters lol...

Who's bad at taking compliments

Really that’s sweet x

Than you btw."

Thank me? What for?

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

There are guys I met when I was meeting as an unattached single girl (I am now in a hotwife relationship) that I had really firm friendship/fuck buddy type relationships with

When I became attached that type of friendship with them just didn’t feel right at all on my part and even the friendship side of things - chatting daily fizzled out. Still class them as friends, not sure I would ever want to play again solo or in a threesome as might feel too weird

Myself with meets now it’s all just sex , nothing more.

It is a funny feeling tho having that type of relationship on fab, moving on but still seeing them on here all the time haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

yes for many it can't be helped feelings get involved you're up close and personal, you can't just remain chat buddies then ?

Maybe try to learn from this experience and don't let people treat you like that in future. Walk away as soon as you see the familiar signs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread is lovely. Full of emotion and connections that have been made and lost. Brings back to Fab a less hard edge of scrutiny and mistrust in seeking out kindred souls for all of our desires. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Mwah to you all. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

yes for many it can't be helped feelings get involved you're up close and personal, you can't just remain chat buddies then ?

Maybe try to learn from this experience and don't let people treat you like that in future. Walk away as soon as you see the familiar signs"

Million per cent, now yes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This thread is lovely. Full of emotion and connections that have been made and lost. Brings back to Fab a less hard edge of scrutiny and mistrust in seeking out kindred souls for all of our desires. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Mwah to you all. X"

I did start it a little while ago just to sort of make sense of it all while hopefully helping others that may be going through or been through similar x

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

OP, I've gone through a similar thing. So big hugs to you.

We are human, and it's ok.

I took away some amazing memories, but it was the right time.

I've recently been blessed with meeting an amazing man, who has already become very special to me.

So mourn, sigh, and when you are ready, put your big girl pants on, and face the world again xxxx

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

It kind of is a break up. There are many levels of relationship and types of love. In reality there isn't just the limited boxes we try and fit life into in this society such as platonic friends, serious monogomus relationships and no strings causal sex. It's a spectrum with many shades in between in my opinion. I have had some close female freinds where there is a sexual element and love. I do love my freinds but it's a different kind of love and totally different to that I have for My Girl. Often for me sex is itself an extention of friendship, a bond or love I have for a freind. After all its a very intimate thing to share. I don't see why as a society we are so scared of the various types of freindship/Love especially when sex is an aspect of it?

So don't down play or undermerit what you've had, it's valid, it's sounds like flavours of relationships. So with that comes sadness when it ends. Just because it's not been a traditional girlfreind/boyfriend type of relationship with the goal of being anything like that doesn't mean it didn't exist as a type of freindship/love/relationship. So as with all breakups/ending it's hard. Be good to your self and take things easy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP, I've gone through a similar thing. So big hugs to you.

We are human, and it's ok.

I took away some amazing memories, but it was the right time.

I've recently been blessed with meeting an amazing man, who has already become very special to me.

So mourn, sigh, and when you are ready, put your big girl pants on, and face the world again xxxx"

That’s so lovely... personally, I am fine. Promise, just needed make sense of some things. I’m hidden as I’m on half term with nipper and my site supporter ran out but there’s nothing sinister going on with me x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It kind of is a break up. There are many levels of relationship and types of love. In reality there isn't just the limited boxes we try and fit life into in this society such as platonic friends, serious monogomus relationships and no strings causal sex. It's a spectrum with many shades in between in my opinion. I have had some close female freinds where there is a sexual element and love. I do love my freinds but it's a different kind of love and totally different to that I have for My Girl. Often for me sex is itself an extention of friendship, a bond or love I have for a freind. After all its a very intimate thing to share. I don't see why as a society we are so scared of the various types of freindship/Love especially when sex is an aspect of it?

Exactly this... brilliant answer. I have said time and time again although casual sex is relatively easy it doesn’t make it any less intimate x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I think the first thing to do is to respect your own decision, or the external reasons for things not continuing, so that you know you have a complete ending to your interaction. When you have that 100% conclusion, it's easier to start to move on.

We may grieve for something that we're not going to have in our life anymore - a person, where the relationship has changed, or they're no longer there, or we may grieve the experience. This isn't the easy bit, as it's painful, so it's better for us to manage it in the way that works for us. It may be bit, by bit, facing the emotions in manageable elements, when/how the time may be right for us. We have a tendency to push things away from us, leaving unfinished 'business' and handling things bit by bit, can work with this.

Finding something new, that's compensatory, is an approach that may work for some. It can be overloading, if we're not ready. I don't look for like for like replacement but something different that's also fulfilling.

Whatever you do, go easy on yourself. We're vulnerable in such situations, so take regular stock of where you're at and how you're filling your time. Take rest.

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

"OP, I've gone through a similar thing. So big hugs to you.

We are human, and it's ok.

I took away some amazing memories, but it was the right time.

I've recently been blessed with meeting an amazing man, who has already become very special to me.

So mourn, sigh, and when you are ready, put your big girl pants on, and face the world again xxxx

You're welcome xx

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By *ndrew CareyMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

We always feel it when a friend or acquaintance moves on. When I left my former job, I had to put a brave face on when everyone said goodbye. It actually hurt.

I can appreciate that especially if you've built good rapport but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Put a brave face on and soldier on

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By *he witch returnsWoman over a year ago

somewhere over the rainbow in SW Devon

I have had a relationship with my fb for 3yrs. Unfortunately he got transferred work wise and was 3hrs away. Met up once a month. Took it's toll on us. We decided to split. It still hurts everyday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think the first thing to do is to respect your own decision, or the external reasons for things not continuing, so that you know you have a complete ending to your interaction. When you have that 100% conclusion, it's easier to start to move on.

Whatever you do, go easy on yourself. We're vulnerable in such situations, so take regular stock of where you're at and how you're filling your time. Take rest."

Brilliant advice x much love x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi fellow forumites and swingingfolk,

This may be an odd question however please don’t attack me and throw the “dating site” alternative as that isn’t conducive to answering what I asking...

You know when you have people as friends on here after months of talking and building up a “friendship” even though you had sex with them?

Where sometimes things happen and you know even though it’s unsaid “it’s over” even though it wasn’t a thing to begin with but I don’t know how else to word it...

How do YOU deal with it because it’s not a break-up but it still can feel quite sad to have to say goodbye?

I personally wish them well and keep the fond memory safe but there’s still that touch of sadness at letting go or giving back something that was never mine to begin with.

Please be gentle with me lol x

We always feel it when a friend or acquaintance moves on. When I left my former job, I had to put a brave face on when everyone said goodbye. It actually hurt.

I can appreciate that especially if you've built good rapport but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Put a brave face on and soldier on"

Always x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have had a relationship with my fb for 3yrs. Unfortunately he got transferred work wise and was 3hrs away. Met up once a month. Took it's toll on us. We decided to split. It still hurts everyday."

They reckon it takes 2 years to fully get over someone you’ve had a relationship with... I hope the hurt soon stops for you and you can find a happy place again xx

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