FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Manners
Manners
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "Do you think it's good manners to abuse, insult, harass and generally disrespect women? Because that happens daily on here, nobody owes you a reply. | |||
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If she is not a site supporter she'll soon run out of messages saying no thanks. That's a pointless waste of time and messages. | |||
"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers." I have no idea who's going to turn nasty, and I'm not prepared to find out. Some of the abuse I've received here has been sickening and chilling. I have a life. This is a hobby. I'm a customer here, too. I had no idea that anyone would be interested in me when I signed up, let alone the scale of the onslaught. It was an onslaught. The result of forcing people to reply would be that women would leave. Do you really want that? | |||
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"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers." So... you are saying that all users should have to reply to every message that they get? I would suggest that you maybe need to reevaluate your expectations, and think what you can do to stand out in a positive way, that encourages women to respond to your carefully crafted messages. Negativity is not going to improve your chances. Nita | |||
"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers." Sorry you feel that way. I get hundreds of messages in an average week. Some people get thousands. I don't have the time or the inclination to reply to them all. If they've put a bit of effort in I'll try to reply but no way have I got time to answer every random, particularly the ones who've obviously not read my profile. No reply= not interested. That's the way it works. | |||
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"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " Honestly if you are sending 70 messages a day I'm not surprised you don't get a reply. | |||
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"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " Must be nice not to receive messages that make you vomit. Must be nice not to get threats when you don't immediately agree to fuck someone you don't want to. I've had periods where I've felt ignored in my whole life, not just on an optional website. Yes, depressing. Did I think I was entitled to anyone's time, attention, or body? Of course not. I worked on myself. | |||
"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers." 1.You may not agree with it, everyone has their own way of managing their profile. 2. Manners can cost us a lot of time and frequently end up with why not or abuse. 3. Please spend a couple of days replying to ever single piece of junk mail through your door or in you email inbox, then you will understand how it is. 4. People do give a damn with others they are interested in meeting. 5. The owners state in the faq section that no reply is no interest, its not considered rude. 6. You still haven't replied to every poster on your thread. Enough said. People can run their profiles how it works for them and not be dictated to by other people who feel they are entitled to a response or meet. | |||
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "PSA: You are not entitled to a response. Nobody owes you anything. If 100 people walk up to you in the street over the course of a day, is it rude to ignore them and keep walking? No, of course not. Welcome to fab, suck it up buttercup | |||
"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " It’s an argument you cannot win. All of us are part of this site and we all (to a greater or lesser extent) abide by the rules of the site. They clearly say no reply is a polite no thank you. Now my inbox doesn’t get inundated because my filters work for me but even so I simply choose to not reply if I don’t sense Id want to take it further or if my profile text was ignored. At the moment my text clearly says I’m not looking to meet new guys. I have 17 ignored messages asking if I want to meet even though the answer is clearly there in my text. Should I be forced to reply? Honestly makes no difference to me if those men find me rude for not replying. V x | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." Because you sent a picture and they didn’t fancy you. It’s really quite simple and it happens to all of us. V x | |||
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"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers. I have no idea who's going to turn nasty, and I'm not prepared to find out. Some of the abuse I've received here has been sickening and chilling. I have a life. This is a hobby. I'm a customer here, too. I had no idea that anyone would be interested in me when I signed up, let alone the scale of the onslaught. It was an onslaught. The result of forcing people to reply would be that women would leave. Do you really want that? " I've actually had female friends that have signed up and left within a couple of days as they've been pestered off the site by entitled men and couples before they've even had a chance to sort their profiles and set filters. Onslaught is exactly the right word. I used to reply to every message, I no longer do this as it took too much time that I could have spent with actually meeting people. I will only reply to people I'm interested in meeting now. | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." Instead of whinging and moaning, why not try to improve your chances of success and reduce the frustrations. Fab is what it is and many men have great success. What can you do better and as another poster said, delete sent messages. Nita | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." You take this shite too seriously me thinks. It's supposed to be fun. People can do what the hell they like as long as it's within the site rules. Don't like it then maybe it's not for you. Chill, it's just a bit of fun. | |||
"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " Actually its not great getting that many messages a day. Most of them dont read my profile and just send me cock pics so why should I reply if they haven't made an effort. How do know people don't reply to my messages? The last bit of your message is uncalled for. Think you need to get over yourself honestly. | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." The block button is often used as another filter, it means you won't show up in their searches or newsfeed, also the other way round. | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." They didn't like your picture. Or your message. Or your profile. They did mean it. The way it works is this. People reply if a) you get them at the right time, b) your message, profile, and pictures suit them, c) they might find you attractive, and d) unknown unknowns. You can't control it. It's just the way it is. When Fab can afford staff to pay for women to respond to hundreds or thousands of messages, one, the site supporter pass won't be so cheap, and two, bulk deletes will become less of an issue. Until then, get used to it. | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one? | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it. What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one?" How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply! | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it. What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one? How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply! " A little bit of maths. 70 messages sent. 70 no thank you replies received. Good manners as defined by self-entitled men mean replying to each and every message. 70 messages sent to thank for the no thank you messages plus 70 messages to new people. Total 140 messages. Need I continue? Before you get personal, I have minimised the number of messages I get by sounding horrible in my profile. However, I do reply to those I receive. Most of their authors get blocked immediately thereupon. Would you prefer this? | |||
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"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it. What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one? How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply! A little bit of maths. 70 messages sent. 70 no thank you replies received. Good manners as defined by self-entitled men mean replying to each and every message. 70 messages sent to thank for the no thank you messages plus 70 messages to new people. Total 140 messages. Need I continue? Before you get personal, I have minimised the number of messages I get by sounding horrible in my profile. However, I do reply to those I receive. Most of their authors get blocked immediately thereupon. Would you prefer this?" I wouldn't mind a "no thanks+block" option. But I suspect most guys would prefer me to leave it open to them to try again. | |||
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"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read. "I block guys when they get too much. But I say things I'm not after, and it's the majority of what I get. Sigh. | |||
"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read. "Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles  | |||
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"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.
Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles"Because I have some single men friends. | |||
"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.
Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles
Because I have some single men friends. "If you've already messaged each other or are friends on Fab, the filter doesn't apply. | |||
"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.
Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles
Because I have some single men friends. "They'll still be able to message if you're friends, the filter won't apply. | |||
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "thats how this site works lately no one has manners that why i've stopped send out mail to new people who i maybe interested in but life is too short so live it to the full i say what i never had i never miss that how i look at it now days | |||
"I dont get 100s of messages, let alone 1000s, because i usw my filters to full effect and I dont understand women not using the filters if it pisses them off so much. Those women who are in that catagory...are you applying any at all, do you put a lot of pics up wanting them fabbing? Im genuinely curious?" I use filters to the extent that works for me. I put pictures up, without comment, because I work on my profile. I've never asked for Fabs. I rarely get hundreds of messages anymore, but I do get more than I can do justice to, and the vast majority haven't read my profile and aren't for me. When I was new to Fab I landed in hospital. I tried replying to everyone but got an amazing amount of abuse and threats. I still get abuse and threats. I protect myself and make no apology for it. | |||
"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " Do you really want 70 rejection messages in your inbox a day? | |||
"I dont get 100s of messages, let alone 1000s, because i usw my filters to full effect and I dont understand women not using the filters if it pisses them off so much. Those women who are in that catagory...are you applying any at all, do you put a lot of pics up wanting them fabbing? Im genuinely curious?" | |||
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "May I ask if you reply to all your junk mail and spam on your e-mail? It's very similar to this . I was with a lady at club SX Blackpool this weekend and when we woke up in the hotel on Sunday morning she showed me that she had 1500 messages on fab.. How could she possibly respond to all of those messages? So please don't think they are been rude by not responding to your message. Take it on the chin OP and please don't take it personal | |||
"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps. And you send pictures and they never reply. So why say it if you dont mean it. And plus this block deleting i hate it. You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted. Sure makes you feel good don't it." They do mean it...your picture let's them decide that you're not for them... nobody is here to make you feel good, sorry that's harsh but it's the truth. equally, nobody is here to make us feel good either so we don't invest much of ourselves in the process, it works for us | |||
"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "You do get manners. Is anyone telling you to fuck off or calling you names? Unlikely. They just aren't acknowledging your presence. Sorry if that is seen as rude but you know what? This environment is pretty wierd coz you get all kinds of guys shoving their dick everywhere it's unwelcome, and like the dragonfly, we tend to play dead to avoid the hassle of rejecting those penises. We're not all here for the same reason at all either. I'm definitely not here to whinge about messages being ignored for a start. | |||
"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. Do you really want 70 rejection messages in your inbox a day?" it would not bother me any rejection since I've been rejection all my life since moving back but to be honest i though this was funny | |||
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"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " Nothing sexier than a whiner....not.. | |||
"Lack of manners is a major bug bear of mine. The old saying manners cost nothing. If you have nothing nice to say stay quiet. " Hence the no reply, no interest rule. Well put. X | |||
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"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day. Instead of sending 70 messages a day out. How would you feel doing it the other way around. Thats right you don't have time you said. " If you’re sending that many every day, then they’re copy & paste messages. C&P is easy to spot, has no reference to anything personal on your profile or is complete incorrect. These will just be deleted, because it’s lazy. Any messages containing dick pics get deleted Any messages with a blank avatar get deleted Any messages with a dick pic avatar get deleted Any messages that aren’t interesting get deleted (hey babe you’re fit etc) If you make it past that, I’d read your profile. If that’s poor, the message will get deleted If you’re not getting replies, ask yourself how you can improve what you’re doing. The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions but expecting a different result  | |||
"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "You’re in the wrong place | |||
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "OP I think you might be a bit jaded about this site no one and I mean no one is entitled to respond to you it’s their choice. With people blocking and not responding it’s them thinking ok I’m not interested but I don’t want him to keep spamming me and yeah it sucks but rub some dirt on it and stop complaining if they don’t respond it means they are not interested in you whatsoever and they don’t want to waste your time and receive abuse for it. | |||
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"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. " I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys. | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys. "Always fancied a trip to Cornwal  | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys. "And you'll have hundreds to choose from, hence the chances of any one of them getting a reply is very small. | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. " Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required. I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring. | |||
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"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers." It’s actually very bad manners not to abide by the rules of a web site you joined. The rules state No reply equals a ‘no thanks.’ If not happy either A leave this site B start your own with compulsory reply rule C actually learn and understand what SwingI get is about. | |||
"Sorry but i really don't agree with that. Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you. Manners don't cost nothing not a penny. You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply. This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop. I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers. It’s actually very bad manners not to abide by the rules of a web site you joined. The rules state No reply equals a ‘no thanks.’ If not happy either A leave this site B start your own with compulsory reply rule C actually learn and understand what SwingI get is about. " Yeah. House rules are clear here. | |||
"It isn't rude not to reply, it simply means that they aren't interested. Men outnumber women and can get flooded with messages. You might want to read the FAQs or more information and search the forum for other advice and suggestions. Nita " This. I do try to reply to as many polite messages as I can but I will delete unread a large majority of guys who clearly haven’t even bothered to read my profile | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required. I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring. " Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point.. In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy | |||
"It isn't rude not to reply, it simply means that they aren't interested. Men outnumber women and can get flooded with messages. You might want to read the FAQs or more information and search the forum for other advice and suggestions. Nita " it is rude but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it | |||
" Nita it is rude {OH NO IT ISN'T!} but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it {AND WHINE} "Fixed it for ya.  | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required. I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring. Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point.. In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy "I think they mean not nuts and not in a highly sought after category. And/or not kinky, which they often see as nuts (quite why they're messaging me then...) I also see a lot of "I know what soap is." Err, that's necessary but not sufficient. | |||
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" Nita it is rude {OH NO IT ISN'T!} but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it {AND WHINE}
Fixed it for ya. "transfixed | |||
"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies. I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain. Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required. I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring. Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point.. In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy
I think they mean not nuts and not in a highly sought after category. And/or not kinky, which they often see as nuts (quite why they're messaging me then...)
I also see a lot of "I know what soap is." Err, that's necessary but not sufficient. "It's a bit like having "discreet" as a selling point. "meet me because I won't tell all your family you're on a swingers site"... | |||
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"Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate. " yes but don't forget the other men the ones that write well constructed polite messages with a hint of personality don't know what's gone before or after ,its a problem for many guys hence the reason this thread comes up everyday | |||
"Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate. yes but don't forget the other men the ones that write well constructed polite messages with a hint of personality don't know what's gone before or after ,its a problem for many guys hence the reason this thread comes up everyday " Sure. But the problems for women are no less the case. | |||
"Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate. yes but don't forget the other men the ones that write well constructed polite messages with a hint of personality don't know what's gone before or after ,its a problem for many guys hence the reason this thread comes up everyday Sure. But the problems for women are no less the case. " I agree but we aren't in your message box and im always polite | |||
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"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want. If real life were like my inbox I'd have men yelling that they want to fuck me all day, some of it violent and obscene. Some of it not, but getting obscenities shouted at me all day, and obscenity in response to my polite deflection, I'd be within my rights to get the heck away from them and not reply to every cat call. (I do actually get men coming up to me in the street and complimenting me on a striking physical feature I have. It's bloody weird and I do what I can to escape) While it might be polite in the real world to gently turn down a man who's come on to you, those rules go out the window if it's a scattergun approach to every woman within range. At 70 messages a day, you're doing the equivalent of "you OK darlin'?... Bitch.... You OK darlin'?" " I think a lot of the talk about "manners" is borne of the frustration from these "average" blokes who thought they were coming on a site full of women gagging for it and from whom they would get loads of fucks for minimum effort. Essentially men should be realistic. | |||
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"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want. If real life were like my inbox I'd have men yelling that they want to fuck me all day, some of it violent and obscene. Some of it not, but getting obscenities shouted at me all day, and obscenity in response to my polite deflection, I'd be within my rights to get the heck away from them and not reply to every cat call. (I do actually get men coming up to me in the street and complimenting me on a striking physical feature I have. It's bloody weird and I do what I can to escape) While it might be polite in the real world to gently turn down a man who's come on to you, those rules go out the window if it's a scattergun approach to every woman within range. At 70 messages a day, you're doing the equivalent of "you OK darlin'?... Bitch.... You OK darlin'?" I think a lot of the talk about "manners" is borne of the frustration from these "average" blokes who thought they were coming on a site full of women gagging for it and from whom they would get loads of fucks for minimum effort. Essentially men should be realistic. " Oh, I agree. But if they're going to talk about manners, they have to consider the impact of these manners and if it's actually reasonable to expect them to apply in these circumstances. And clearly not. On really bad days here, imagining it's the real world, I'd want a body guard and possibly to talk to the police about threats. I just delete and block here. | |||
"Manners to reply to every message do cost something they cost you your time I currently have 508 messages that have accumlated over the weekend (that’s with some filters set) because it’s been my birthday weekend and I’ve been busy haveing a life away from fab Now if it took say a minute to send a nice reply to each I’d be sat saying no thanks for about 8 hours! now (when I’m not on sick leave) I have a job that’s has me out of the home for 12 hours a day, I then come home to kids, homework, chores etc so anywhere between 2-4 hours of work in the home a day. Which is already 16hours of a 24 hour day gone which does leave me the 8 hours it would take to reply to all those messages if I’m not a fan of getting any sleep or don’t ever want to meet any of the guys I’m actually interested in! There’s also a message cap of only being able to send 100 messages per day so I’m screwed before I’ve even started really Do you perhaps see where the problem with being “polite” could lie? " But but manners | |||
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"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want. If real life were like my inbox I'd have men yelling that they want to fuck me all day, some of it violent and obscene. Some of it not, but getting obscenities shouted at me all day, and obscenity in response to my polite deflection, I'd be within my rights to get the heck away from them and not reply to every cat call. (I do actually get men coming up to me in the street and complimenting me on a striking physical feature I have. It's bloody weird and I do what I can to escape) While it might be polite in the real world to gently turn down a man who's come on to you, those rules go out the window if it's a scattergun approach to every woman within range. At 70 messages a day, you're doing the equivalent of "you OK darlin'?... Bitch.... You OK darlin'?" I think a lot of the talk about "manners" is borne of the frustration from these "average" blokes who thought they were coming on a site full of women gagging for it and from whom they would get loads of fucks for minimum effort. Essentially men should be realistic. Oh, I agree. But if they're going to talk about manners, they have to consider the impact of these manners and if it's actually reasonable to expect them to apply in these circumstances. And clearly not. On really bad days here, imagining it's the real world, I'd want a body guard and possibly to talk to the police about threats. I just delete and block here. " Indeed. I also don't see why blokes want tons of messages explicitly saying "I don't find you attractive". | |||
"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it" I'm a guy. I've never had abuse from a woman. | |||
"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it" I'm not all women, I'm myself. I respond to abuse I receive. You should do likewise. | |||
"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it" This was your idea of proving only women moan about abuse then
The ability to be abusive or a moaning buggar isn’t gender specific most logical people know that | |||
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"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it This was your idea of proving only women moan about abuse then
The ability to be abusive or a moaning buggar isn’t gender specific most logical people know that "If you (anyone) get abuse, report, block, delete. If you see a pattern, act on the pattern. I do so. It works for me. It works for the people I meet. It's well within Fab rules. If it doesn't work for you... tough, really. | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back" To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. " Very achievable with the right approach | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. " Most men in swinging clubs have more finesse, though, where it's much more likely that we are. Those who do try that sort of thing on generally don't have a good time and get very little sympathy. | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. " So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly? | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. " Surely unless they have a meet advertised then for the most part they aren’t on here that just an assumption based on the nature of the sites name | |||
"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it" Why should I HAVE to reply? Why should I be dictated to by men? My choice to reply and if I don't fancy 69 people out of 70 who message me I should take 2 hours to reply. Thats 70 messages out of my allowance when I could be speaking to someone I want to meet! Just a point he posted in a open forum and people have answered but he hasn't replied to each of us soooo pot kettle black really? | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?" No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub. Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. | |||
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"This isn’t a moan, before you jump on moi, but I do find it highly amusing when people say they have no time to sift through messages. So let’s say you have a box full of messages. Sifting through isn’t an all night job, some will instantly stand out for reasons to instantly delete. Such as distance, age, preferences (yes some preference white or black over the other or vice versa) from most profile photos you’ll know if it interests you. Poor photos? Deleted. See it advertised a lot on here. Dick picks=deleted. So again, if the profile pic is of a dick then isn’t that an instant delete? Scanning profiles: we all know, as many people bring it up in here, that a guys profile is usually pretty scarce for content,if any at all. So a click on profile, scan, either a yes or no would come to mind. Having introduced a female friend to Fabs some months ago, I’ve had the joys of seeing how a female receives attention. Starts with a lot of messages, usually due then being a new user. After a while, even being active on and off here, interest dwindles as new woman join the site. After several months I’m told that her daily incoming messages is around 10-15, which she’ll easily scan through and delete what doesn’t interest her in under an hour. So working on that basis I doubt these profiles that state they’re getting hundreds of messages a day actually are. And if they are, then good luck to them, an perhaps look at their filter settings before trying to brag over their popularity. I can see what the OP is saying. It is frustrating to send out a lot of messages. Think last month I send around 20 odd. 2 read, 1 deleted, and 17 still sitting in inboxes despite users being on here numerous times throughout the day. OP you need to just laugh it off, an put it down to FAB life, it won’t change, honestly. Get out to clubs, and meet people. Statistically I’d say men have more chance in a club than on here. Unless you stand out, and are in a minority, there’s little chance of actual meets. " He’s wanting women to reply every message though not just sift through and take her pick on what to reply to which is what the majority do and why the site says a no reply is a no thanks Also take into account that your friends experience won’t be that of every lady on this site | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly? No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub. Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. " Success rate of here is ten to one, messages wrote with one hand on a keyboard other on there cock , stuck in there darkest fantasy. Simple doesn’t work nothing respectable comes from the approach. | |||
"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "Why not ask the mrs her opinion on this! | |||
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"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly? No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub. Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. " True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply. | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly? No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub. Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply." I know but my point about the pub analogy is that behaviour that would be completely out of order in a pub is acceptable here. Thus, you wouldn't go up to a random woman in a pub and politely ask her if she would like to come to your hotel room for sex, yet doing that here is acceptable (assuming the woman in question hasn't specifically said in her profile she won't do that). | |||
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"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners. The more we try the more you get shot down. You send message after message out to see that they have been read. And people can't even have the manners to reply. We are here all for the same reason. I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox. Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery "If we take our No Males filter off we’re inundated with messages, it’s relentless. It would be a full time job for couples to reply to all messages. So best take it as a polite no thanks. Certainly some messages get more chance of a reply rather than a “I will bang you good”.  | |||
"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort. You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc. Would you really. Screw manners give me shite you get it back To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy. Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly? No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub. Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply. I know but my point about the pub analogy is that behaviour that would be completely out of order in a pub is acceptable here. Thus, you wouldn't go up to a random woman in a pub and politely ask her if she would like to come to your hotel room for sex, yet doing that here is acceptable (assuming the woman in question hasn't specifically said in her profile she won't do that). " I have specifically said I won't do it. Some people need to go back to school for reading lessons. | |||
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"Someone approaching me via first message on here and asking me if I would like to go to their hotel room for sex is treating me like a free prostitute in my opinion. I'm here for the lifestyle, to get to know people connect and go to clubs, not to go to visit someone I've never spoken to before, hotel room for sex. " That's not swinging, that's a hook up. | |||
"Someone approaching me via first message on here and asking me if I would like to go to their hotel room for sex is treating me like a free prostitute in my opinion. I'm here for the lifestyle, to get to know people connect and go to clubs, not to go to visit someone I've never spoken to before, hotel room for sex. " And that's your choice, but my point is that, absent someone specifically saying they don't want that, such an approach is acceptable on here in a way it wouldn't be in a pub. | |||
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"Fab is not an efficient way of meeting women using the message facility alone OP. Women are inundated with decent men messaging them every day along with all the undesirable messages. It's to much of lottery whether you get read,replied to or bulk deleted read or unread. You have to look at the alternatives and the easiest is to go along to one of the many social events and chat to people." i would agree because there a lot more losers than winners on here i think | |||
