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Not the done thing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally I wouldn’t persure for the money. Just use it as an excuse for a dirty night out as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's crap but can't see how you would get anything from them. If they wanted to meet in a hotel then why did they not book the room? If we met in a hotel we wouldn't book it without it being refundable or it would be a meet where we were in a hotel anyway for something else, holiday, club visit etc.

I think its a case of take it on the chin, forget and move on sadly.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

No. Many reasons but mainly because it would be futile.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It does come across rude! Maybe they wasn’t feeling the original meet?

I personally wouldn't pursue the cost, more hassle than it’s worth imho

Move on and forget about them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How will you Perdue they will most likely just say no or ignore if no intent in meeting anyway judging by fact they cancelled you and went party instead it smacks of a better offer cane along. So I wouldn’t want to see these people .

I mean as you say one thing to cancel a week but then should have said we will pay towards hotel if you can’t refund .

Chalk it up as a bad egg block them and be done. V

Tbh it’s why I never really book things to far ahead and hotels I try leave literally to last minute

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

I understand your frustration and the principle...how exactly are you going to pursue them? Small claims court? I know the burden of proof is lower but I'm not sure they could be seen as entering into any kind of contract with you...I'm sure some more learned types will be along to debunk that theory for me...

I think it'll probably be learning going forward...never book an unrefundable room or ask for half the money up front. Did you make use of the room anyway? We'd probably have seen it as an excuse to have an overnighter somewhere different

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By *rickie-dickieMan  over a year ago

South Durham

No, I think it's a civil matter and although you could probably persue it in the small claims court it could be a long process and might not end the way you want.

I'm not a solicitor, it's just how it'd seem to me. I stand to be corrected.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

never book non refundable rooms ,booking.com offer free cancellation up to 4pm on day of booking ,this varies but go for that always

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman  over a year ago

sw London

Unless you have their name & address how would you pursue them for the cost.

Did you at the time of the booking actually make the booking for 4 adults in one room, as that would probably be the crux of any claim.

Finally, you've spent the money on the room anyway so just have a night of fun with your other half, you might even end up grateful they didn't show

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x"

it's more the fact they ignored you for a party but alas it's common people are always looking for the best offer available

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,"

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

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By *carlettxWoman  over a year ago

Essex


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?"

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

"

if you're a single guy not so easy I've had that that's how I learnt my lesson

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

"

Yes plenty of notice, but when you take it as good faith and they ask YOU to book the hotel,we think it’s just off for them to decide they’ve had a better offer and do something else, in over 5 years we’ve never done that or would even be tempted to, we stick to our word and do what we are going to do, we guess that’s why we get lots of meets because we don’t change our minds once something is set up, on the other hand we don’t expect others too either.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman  over a year ago

sw London


"

if you're a single guy not so easy I've had that that's how I learnt my lesson"

Your post makes no sense, had what? someone cancel 2 weeks in advance?

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

OP your profile says "honesty is the best policy. If you don't want to meet us just say". That's what they did, two weeks before the meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP your profile says "honesty is the best policy. If you don't want to meet us just say". That's what they did, two weeks before the meet. "

No that’s not, they said something had come up they couldn’t avoid and they would rearrange

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

if you're a single guy not so easy I've had that that's how I learnt my lesson

Your post makes no sense, had what? someone cancel 2 weeks in advance? "

I think he means that as a single guy he can't just go to the hotel and have fun anyway as a couple can?

Mr J

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

Yes plenty of notice, but when you take it as good faith and they ask YOU to book the hotel,we think it’s just off for them to decide they’ve had a better offer and do something else, in over 5 years we’ve never done that or would even be tempted to, we stick to our word and do what we are going to do, we guess that’s why we get lots of meets because we don’t change our minds once something is set up, on the other hand we don’t expect others too either. "

I think asking you to book then cancelling is the most annoying thing. Something we learned along the way is to avoid people who want you to make all the arrangements.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

"

my post was in answer to this ,if rooms booked with no refund possible how do I have fun anyway

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman  over a year ago

sw London


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

my post was in answer to this ,if rooms booked with no refund possible how do I have fun anyway"

But they're a couple so its irrelevant for a single man;, anyway porn channel, bottle of baby oil, box of tissues and your sorted

Or crazy thought you'd have 2 weeks to arrange another meet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

They’ll just block you. It’s a tough one that probably most of us have experienced and learnt from tbh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

my post was in answer to this ,if rooms booked with no refund possible how do I have fun anyway

But they're a couple so its irrelevant for a single man;, anyway porn channel, bottle of baby oil, box of tissues and your sorted

Or crazy thought you'd have 2 weeks to arrange another meet "

but I like the op out of pocket by pounds ,I sympathise with you op by the way but you've gotta mark that up as a really bad decision

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By *carlettxWoman  over a year ago

Essex


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

Yes plenty of notice, but when you take it as good faith and they ask YOU to book the hotel,we think it’s just off for them to decide they’ve had a better offer and do something else, in over 5 years we’ve never done that or would even be tempted to, we stick to our word and do what we are going to do, we guess that’s why we get lots of meets because we don’t change our minds once something is set up, on the other hand we don’t expect others too either. "

I wouldn’t do that either and have actually had it happen to me (as a couple) the very same day !

Sad fact of reality that it happens on here all the time which is why I tend to prefer to meet at a club especially when I’m already staying in a hotel to go there

All I can say is you probably won’t be the first they do that to and can only hope that it might happen to them one day

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"They’ll just block you. It’s a tough one that probably most of us have experienced and learnt from tbh "

We’ve already blocked them, just about to block there mobile too

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

We’ve already blocked them, just about to block there mobile too"

So you have decided not to persue them for the money ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do they use the forum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

We’ve already blocked them, just about to block there mobile too

So you have decided not to persue them for the money ?"

Don’t care about the money, we have texted them to say we think they are out of order and had no response, so we are leaving it, it’s the principle

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By *xtrafun4youMan  over a year ago

Dunstable


"Personally I wouldn’t persure for the money. Just use it as an excuse for a dirty night out as a couple. "
exactly this. Then block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen,

How is it non-genuine. They gave you 2 weeks notice that they were cancelling?

Rightly so - two weeks notice is very reasonable

It’s annoying but plenty of time to either arrange something else or make the most of a night out the two of you

"

This

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By *ustthe2ofusXXXCouple  over a year ago

coventry


"Personally I wouldn’t persure for the money. Just use it as an excuse for a dirty night out as a couple. "

Exactly what we used to do with every no show we had that let us down, best attitude to have, just move on block them and enjoy yourselves.

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By *evaquitCouple  over a year ago

Catthorpe

Wouldn't pursue at all, they gave plenty of notice. We use hotels but wouldn't book non-refundable for a meet as cancellations for whatever reason can and do occur. If they'd done that on the day for the party and it was impossible to cancel the room then that would be a different story.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish

They gave you 2 weeks notice. Time enough to arrange something else. It was your choice to book a non refundable room and not use it. It's their choice if they wanted to cancel for whatever reason. They were reasonable in giving you time to rearrange so owe you nothing.

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By *he Cheeky GirlsCouple (FF)  over a year ago

Dover and Benidorm

Shit happens, at least they gave you plenty of notice so be grateful for that.

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By *lixir of lifeMan  over a year ago

knob Creek

I’m shocked that you’re shocked that people on here have no principles!!

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan  over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"I’m shocked that you’re shocked that people on here have no principles!!

"

sadly... This

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd send them a Cunt of a final message. Block them and tell everyone I know about what cunts they are

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first. "

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it”

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'd send them a Cunt of a final message. Block them and tell everyone I know about what cunts they are "

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No, grubbing about money isn’t very classy.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it” "

Is it a lie though? Like I said,maybe you were the double booking.

Did you use the room?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it” "

Its fab, sadly most people lie and think they owe strangers nothing. As others have said, it was probably not ideal to book a non refundable room but its been done now, best to forget it and move on. Its not healthy dwelling on such things.

Mr J

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By *uliaChrisCouple  over a year ago

westerham


"Wouldn't pursue at all, they gave plenty of notice. We use hotels but wouldn't book non-refundable for a meet as cancellations for whatever reason can and do occur. If they'd done that on the day for the party and it was impossible to cancel the room then that would be a different story."

^^^^ This

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it” "

Is it acceptable in polite society to share your woes and whinges?

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x"

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Harsh but in my opinion id chase them for at least half of the cost they could have been upfront and told u about it but they didnt id be insanely fucked off if it was me and id block them after that shocking i mean surely they would have known there's a slim chance you finding out the real reason honesty is always the best policy

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x "

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

Sadly, I doubt if you would get anything out of them. It might have been a first, but perhaps the last time? Extremely irritating and would have had me screaming angry, but some people have no conscience. Just let it go and remember that there is karma and what goes around etc. One day they'll get theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same."

I agree if it was all organised then close to the day someone cancelled on me id be angry not like rage just ya know anyway its abit disrespectful to cancel something you've all agreed to and set up for something that sounds more appealing i think the op has a right to be annoyed with them no one can honestly say that they would be fine with it after paying for a hotel to have it all thrown away no one

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By *ade and VanessaCouple  over a year ago

Central Scotland


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it” "

No, you were not asked to book a non refundable room and pay for it up front. That was a bit of a daft thing to do and entirely your choice. You still had a hotel room booked for you both and 2 weeks to either decide to enjoy it yourselves or find someone else to join you. No need for sour plooms on the forum because someone decided to spare you/them a bit of embarrassment in saying they had decided they just weren't that in to you or they'd chnahed their minds and decided to take up a different offer.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it”

No, you were not asked to book a non refundable room and pay for it up front. That was a bit of a daft thing to do and entirely your choice. You still had a hotel room booked for you both and 2 weeks to either decide to enjoy it yourselves or find someone else to join you. No need for sour plooms on the forum because someone decided to spare you/them a bit of embarrassment in saying they had decided they just weren't that in to you or they'd chnahed their minds and decided to take up a different offer.

V x"

No sour grapes, it was to do with the principle, they chased us for a meet based on mutual friends recommendations (who have coincidentally expressed how out of order they feel they were) we tend to meet people who are attractive and nice people, but there behaviour would mean we wouldn’t touch them even if we ran into them as they are not nice people

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same."

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle

Did you use the room anyway?

Was it a flexi rate?

They gave you 2 weeks notice to make alternative arrangements.

Maybe they double booked themselves and forgot they'd say they'd go to the party first.

The point is that they asked us to arrange the hotel which we did, then to pull out saying something they can’t avoid is just plainly a lie, when in polite society did it become acceptable to lie? But if they’d been honest we probably would have said “you asked us to book the room, you’ve decided you’ve had a better offer, you should pay for it”

No, you were not asked to book a non refundable room and pay for it up front. That was a bit of a daft thing to do and entirely your choice. You still had a hotel room booked for you both and 2 weeks to either decide to enjoy it yourselves or find someone else to join you. No need for sour plooms on the forum because someone decided to spare you/them a bit of embarrassment in saying they had decided they just weren't that in to you or they'd chnahed their minds and decided to take up a different offer.

V x

No sour grapes, it was to do with the principle, they chased us for a meet based on mutual friends recommendations (who have coincidentally expressed how out of order they feel they were) we tend to meet people who are attractive and nice people, but there behaviour would mean we wouldn’t touch them even if we ran into them as they are not nice people "

If they were the ones chasing then why did you not let them book the room? Also, they probably had no idea you'd booked a non refundable room so in giving you 2 weeks notice they probably assumed you could just cancel with a full refund of any deposit payed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them. "

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan  over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I'm alright jack eh?

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh? "

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums."

Yep this. They cancelled 2 weeks in advance, regardless of the reasons,they gave you plenty of time yet you are here slagging them off. Just move on. Dwelling on shit like that is not good for your sanity.

Mr J

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums."

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

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By *ade and VanessaCouple  over a year ago

Central Scotland

You're missing basics of consent here OP. They could have been stood naked in the hotel room with you and still decided no, not for us, and went to the party instead. They gave you 2 weeks notice. You entirely missed the point of my previous comment that the issue if with your choice of hotel. YOUR CHOICE. you can't blame them or expect them to pay when you booked the hotel and paid for it in advance with no chance of free cancellation.

I'm waiting on a new forum post along the lines of:

We agreed to meet a couple based on friend recommendations. After chatting they booked a hotel room for us to meet with 3 weeks notice. 2 weeks before my mum took very ill and we weren't sure if we would make it as I was looking after her so gave them plenty of notice and cancelled the meet. A couple of days before the weekend my mum was much better and we had some time to ourselves. It seemed off to message them to see if they were still free after we had cancelled and a friend had said there was space at a party she was having. We decided on the party because it would be less pressure to play when I wasn't sure how I'd be after the last couple of weeks. Now they're bad mouthing us to all of our friends and posting shit about us on the forum because we went to the party. Are all people on fab this awful?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread....."

What is the point of this thread then if you had fun anyway and don't give a crap about it?

Mr J

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You're missing basics of consent here OP. They could have been stood naked in the hotel room with you and still decided no, not for us, and went to the party instead. They gave you 2 weeks notice. You entirely missed the point of my previous comment that the issue if with your choice of hotel. YOUR CHOICE. you can't blame them or expect them to pay when you booked the hotel and paid for it in advance with no chance of free cancellation.

I'm waiting on a new forum post along the lines of:

We agreed to meet a couple based on friend recommendations. After chatting they booked a hotel room for us to meet with 3 weeks notice. 2 weeks before my mum took very ill and we weren't sure if we would make it as I was looking after her so gave them plenty of notice and cancelled the meet. A couple of days before the weekend my mum was much better and we had some time to ourselves. It seemed off to message them to see if they were still free after we had cancelled and a friend had said there was space at a party she was having. We decided on the party because it would be less pressure to play when I wasn't sure how I'd be after the last couple of weeks. Now they're bad mouthing us to all of our friends and posting shit about us on the forum because we went to the party. Are all people on fab this awful?

"

A good point and if this is what happened fair enough of course we’d understand that but that’s not what happened

As we said it’s the principle of changing there minds and lying to us after they chased us for a meet based on friends recommendations, if they’d been honest, no problem

Honestly it’s a slow day at work we don’t care about the situation just the principal and it’s interesting to see people’s opinions and what people see as an acceptable way to conduct themselves x

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By *eeleyWoman  over a year ago

Dudley

To be honest, this thread is kinda making you look bad. You keep saying you get lots of offers, are decent people etc, why didn't you invite one of the plethora of other couples wanting to meet you to stay in the room with you?

It really does sound as if you're feeling bitter about this, the reason they cancelled is none of your business, you have no right to judge them on their choices, they gave you plenty of notice, they are well within their rights to change their minds and it was kinder to tell you that something came up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

What is the point of this thread then if you had fun anyway and don't give a crap about it?

Mr J"

Because it’s interesting to see other people’s point of view and create debate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

What is the point of this thread then if you had fun anyway and don't give a crap about it?

Mr J

Because it’s interesting to see other people’s point of view and create debate"

True but as with most threads here, there is only one side of the story and the other party is not here to defend or explain themselves (not that they need to).

Mr J

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"To be honest, this thread is kinda making you look bad. You keep saying you get lots of offers, are decent people etc, why didn't you invite one of the plethora of other couples wanting to meet you to stay in the room with you?

It really does sound as if you're feeling bitter about this, the reason they cancelled is none of your business, you have no right to judge them on their choices, they gave you plenty of notice, they are well within their rights to change their minds and it was kinder to tell you that something came up. "

Oh we played with a couple last night, the idea was to open a debate and see other people’s point of view rather than just our own, some people’s opinions we’ve dismissed, some we’ve taken on board x

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By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Sorry OP but the simple fact that you posted such a thread, doesn't reflect well on you.

Whatever your reasons for doing so.

It's a bit of a harsh lesson, but we would never book a non-refundable room unless we were planning on using it ourselves anyway.

If someone was good enough to give us 2 weeks notice, it wouldn't even cross my mind to find out what they did do that night...and if I did find out, I wouldn't feel slighted. Lots of things can change in 2 weeks. The possible scenario given above is a great example.

Nita

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By *awpleasureMan  over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

Yep this. They cancelled 2 weeks in advance, regardless of the reasons,they gave you plenty of time yet you are here slagging them off. Just move on. Dwelling on shit like that is not good for your sanity.

Mr J"

You had plenty of time to find another couple. Two weeks notice is more than enough. I've had two minutes notice before. Noe that's annoying when it's too late to do something else.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread....."

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

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By *ndrew CareyMan  over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

Use the room yourselves and forget about them. Not something to worry about.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is it a random party or is it something one of thier friends is doing etc?

As if its a close friend doing it or many of thier friends attending they could be weighing up the differnce between annoying 2 strangers and close friends

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same."

For me it’s not treating people poorly to change your mind. Treating poorly would have been to ask for the hotel to be booked and then just not turn up. They contacted you with notice. They didn’t make up a huge lie but kept it simple with a “something came up”. I’m not saying it was a great outcome, it’s always a bit disappointing when plans change.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

"

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared "

Sadly, I always assume it's a no show until the person is there in front of me. It's madness to pay upfront for things especially if it's non refundable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared

Sadly, I always assume it's a no show until the person is there in front of me. It's madness to pay upfront for things especially if it's non refundable. "

theirs a saying ' no honour among thieves'

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

Three weeks is a long time in Fab Land.

Its annoying, but they did give you two weeks notice, so you could possibly have found another meet.

Or used the hotel room yourselves.

Look at it as a learning curve.

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By *atcake1973Man  over a year ago

stoke on Trent

I would have to say something

You do all that only for them to go to a swingers advent

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

They asked the OP to book a hotel, presumably to pay half on the night. They then cancel, leaving the OP with the full cost?

To be quite honest, no matter how long the cancellation period, or the reason they cancelled, they should immediately offer to cover the full cost.

As it is, they’ve changed their mind for a better offer and ducked out of the financial problem it causes the OP.

To me that’s extremely shabby, selfish behaviour that really can’t be defended.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared "

Absolutely! We have both been around this scene for years. I have lost count of the number of times I (fem) have been let down over hotels and meets, lost money etc, so yeh we do what's right for us. We are up front about it and don't lead people on, but we are sensible and don't rely on anyone.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"They asked the OP to book a hotel, presumably to pay half on the night. They then cancel, leaving the OP with the full cost?

To be quite honest, no matter how long the cancellation period, or the reason they cancelled, they should immediately offer to cover the full cost.

As it is, they’ve changed their mind for a better offer and ducked out of the financial problem it causes the OP.

To me that’s extremely shabby, selfish behaviour that really can’t be defended."

How were they to know they chose to book a non refundable rate?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared "

Why would you use your annual leave for a fuck?

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester

Ignore, unfriend & move on. Book own room in swingers Hotel or club in future

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"They asked the OP to book a hotel, presumably to pay half on the night. They then cancel, leaving the OP with the full cost?

To be quite honest, no matter how long the cancellation period, or the reason they cancelled, they should immediately offer to cover the full cost.

As it is, they’ve changed their mind for a better offer and ducked out of the financial problem it causes the OP.

To me that’s extremely shabby, selfish behaviour that really can’t be defended.

How were they to know they chose to book a non refundable rate?"

Wouldn’t you send a message saying, ‘ We have to cancel do we owe anything for the room?'. Simple really isn’t it?

Perhaps in the initial conversation they should of said book a refundable room. The OP would of known then their might of been a possibility of being let down.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people in this lifestyle let others down, always have done, always will do. Not saying its right, its not but its life on here. Why some go to such great lengths to arrange a meet with a complete stranger I'll never know. Re arrange your day, annual leave, pay non refundable rates for hotel rooms, travel miles incurring petrol/public transport costs, its all mad, I learnt that years ago. This life has to fit in around your existing plans or you could find yourself very disappointed and out of pocket.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think this is a case where the private grapevine is all you can do. Tell your friends, privately. (yes it's like name and shame, but it is something people do)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously not going to pursue via courts etc, just a nudging text and then forget about it.

I guess in over 5 years this is the first non genuine cancellation but it had to happen, like we said it’s nit the money it’s the principal x

It is a genuine cancellation. They cancelled and let you know. I get that the you don’t like the reason but to be brutal, if the party was looking like more fun I’d probably have done the same.

But I would have suggested to not book a room in advance just in case either of us changed our minds.

V x

We don’t treat people poorly and wouldn’t change our mind for a party invite etc it’s selfish and indicative of lots of people’s attitudes to do what they want and f@&k everyone else.

Maybe because we don’t have that attitude, we think others should be the same.

People are not entering into a contract to fuck you. They have the right to change their mind. For whaever reason they decided the party was a better option for them, they gave you plenty of warning. We are all here for our own fun and as annoying as it maybe that will mean people go with what is best for them.

Like we said if we agree to meet people we don’t change our minds or go with a better offer later on, we are decent people and keep our agreements, we don’t agree with the adage “we are all here for our own fun” we believe swinging is about everyone having fun, people who are selfish and self absorbed we have no time for, maybe that’s why we get so many offers? As people realise we are decent people and won’t mess people around eh?

Self absorbed?? We are here for our own fun but that doesn't mean we are self absorbed. What it does mean is we go with what is best for us, with limited time to play we are going to do that rather than try to please everyone else, otherwise why are we here? Surely you could have took one of the many other offers instead of slagging them off on here. Let's hope they don't read the forums.

So let’s get this straight you’d pursue a couple to arrange a meet, ask them to book the room then a little later you get a party invite and decide to go to that instead and lie to the couple you chased and and arranged a meet, what lovely people you are you

Personally we don’t give a crap about any of it, we had fun with a couple we haven’t seen for a while, but it’s fun to see the attitude of some people on this thread.....

Just because you do not agree with you does not mean we have an 'attitude', but in answer to your questions

1. We would not pursue and definitely not chase a couple. We meet in clubs only, and do ok.

2. Wouldnt ask them to book a room if we did. We would book our own room with free cancellation. That would be a no brainer knowing that people cancel and life gets in the way.

3. If we had the offer of a party, we would consider it. After all we maybe let down so have to go with whats right for us. Why not? nothing is set in stone.

4. We dont make assumptions about how lovely someone is, but yes people who meet us say we are.

5. We wouldnt put up a post slagging someone who had at least shown enough respect to give two weeks notice.

so you're saying you yourselves would let somebody down if a better offer came up ,their you have it everyone nothing is honourable in this lifestyle ,so be aware always that setting a date in advance should be treated with absolute caution ,never book rooms unless you can cancel on the day ,don't spend money on travel expenses and don't waste your annual leave and if you do any of this know that that money will be wasted and that no remorse will be shown ,no sympathy or empathy will be shared

Absolutely! We have both been around this scene for years. I have lost count of the number of times I (fem) have been let down over hotels and meets, lost money etc, so yeh we do what's right for us. We are up front about it and don't lead people on, but we are sensible and don't rely on anyone. "

I can only be an honourable person I don't treat the next person badly just because the previous person wasn't good to me ,if you arrange a meet honour it otherwise the whole place will descend into chaos ,the op feels justly let down and to be honest deserves to be refunded because the couple who let them down could have made the meet ,he won't get the money back and he has learnt a valuable lesson in regard to booking hotels but not a good advert for the site really ,I've been let down many times in past and it's cost me money when I could ill afford it but I've had to suck it up but those that say still go and make a night of it doesn't really help the single people amongst us who get caught out in the same way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" ,I've been let down many times in past and it's cost me money when I could ill afford it but I've had to suck it up "

You say this as if you had met it wouldnt have cost you money?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How would you get the money ?/ Small claims court ?? lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So in over 5 years never had this happen

Arranged a meet with a couple they wanted to meet at a hotel, so we booked it 3 weeks in advance, paid fully by us, non refundable

A week later we get a text saying they are going to have to cancel as something has come up they can’t avoid.

Fair enough things happen, we of course don’t quiz them, however we find that the something they couldn’t avoid is a swingers party! Which they attend

The question is....

Would you pursue them for the full cost for the unused hotel room?

It’s not the money it’s the principle "

1- did they agree to pay half the cost?

2- did they agree to book the hotel so far in advance

3- Get another meet!

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"They asked the OP to book a hotel, presumably to pay half on the night. They then cancel, leaving the OP with the full cost?

To be quite honest, no matter how long the cancellation period, or the reason they cancelled, they should immediately offer to cover the full cost.

As it is, they’ve changed their mind for a better offer and ducked out of the financial problem it causes the OP.

To me that’s extremely shabby, selfish behaviour that really can’t be defended.

How were they to know they chose to book a non refundable rate?

Wouldn’t you send a message saying, ‘ We have to cancel do we owe anything for the room?'. Simple really isn’t it?

Perhaps in the initial conversation they should of said book a refundable room. The OP would of known then their might of been a possibility of being let down."

This is a good point. If i had cancelled I would have offered to pay my share (if I’d have asked them to book a room) but I wouldn’t have asked.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" ,I've been let down many times in past and it's cost me money when I could ill afford it but I've had to suck it up

You say this as if you had met it wouldnt have cost you money?"

lol well you took on board that point ,when you're spending money on something that you enjoy that's obviously a lot different to wasting it unnecessarily don't you think ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" ,I've been let down many times in past and it's cost me money when I could ill afford it but I've had to suck it up

You say this as if you had met it wouldnt have cost you money?lol well you took on board that point ,when you're spending money on something that you enjoy that's obviously a lot different to wasting it unnecessarily don't you think ?"

If you're spending it on a leisure activity its hardly money you can "ill afford" is disposable income

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London

If you've been doing this for five years I don't understand why you would book a non refundable room three weeks in advance. Everyone knows people cancel at short notice for shit reasons.

Only book hotels at short notice where the cost is refundable.

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By *ilth500Man  over a year ago

Merseyside


"Personally I wouldn’t persure for the money. Just use it as an excuse for a dirty night out as a couple. "

great answer!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is really a vent post and I seriously doubt the Op wants money...

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