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Wife has potential FWB
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As per my thread on Thursday, L has had a date with a friend, who she hasn’t seen for a long time.
A few years ago they had a bit of a thing going on. It started with a bit of very discreet flirting at work, which led to a few dates and eventually they had sex. It would have become a semi-regular thing (every couple of months) but sadly he moved away.
L had a great time on Thursday, they enjoyed a nice meal and ended the night with a little kissing and fondling (a lot to be fair). She came home late, smiling and looking flushed, then we had a little fun ourselves.
Her friend told her he is moving back to the area, and he would like to see her again, and more often. He is aware I know of their friendship and understands I give L the freedom to do this.
We are currently discussing this as a couple, obviously we both have to be happy for this to proceed.
L is of course happy, obviously she is attracted to him, she knows him well and trusts him. He’s single, clean and reliable, importantly he’s career focussed and lives far enough away to keep it what it is, a date every couple of months with some hot sex.
Me?
I love letting my wife be free every now and then to enjoy herself. I know, not everyone gets it, or understands compersion.
Excited - I love having a naughty wife. I love her coming back to me afterwards, the sex and reconnection is amazing.
Fear - of the unknown I suppose. We have never been down this route before. Swinging - yes, same guy more than once - yes, a regular FWB - no.
Do any couples have a similar thing going on?
J
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has happened to us but sadly in the past now . Hotwife used to have liaisons with a ‘freind’ every now and again which I was fully aware of and supported her . She first met him at a social sports club and they both started flirting then the odd kiss in his office , then over time progressing to sex in his office and a few occasions at ours with my full knowledge and encouragement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can work. I'm on good terms with previous 'lovers' and I was having semi regular play dates with one, also non playing 'dates' - ie, he bought pizza over during the Christmas break and we watched films.
My partner's biggest priority is my safety and he's happy for me to have repeat meets with someone I trust. It's not like a mini relationship or anything, just safe fun with friendship of sorts. |
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"As per my thread on Thursday, L has had a date with a friend, who she hasn’t seen for a long time.
A few years ago they had a bit of a thing going on. It started with a bit of very discreet flirting at work, which led to a few dates and eventually they had sex. It would have become a semi-regular thing (every couple of months) but sadly he moved away.
L had a great time on Thursday, they enjoyed a nice meal and ended the night with a little kissing and fondling (a lot to be fair). She came home late, smiling and looking flushed, then we had a little fun ourselves.
Her friend told her he is moving back to the area, and he would like to see her again, and more often. He is aware I know of their friendship and understands I give L the freedom to do this.
We are currently discussing this as a couple, obviously we both have to be happy for this to proceed.
L is of course happy, obviously she is attracted to him, she knows him well and trusts him. He’s single, clean and reliable, importantly he’s career focussed and lives far enough away to keep it what it is, a date every couple of months with some hot sex.
Me?
I love letting my wife be free every now and then to enjoy herself. I know, not everyone gets it, or understands compersion.
Excited - I love having a naughty wife. I love her coming back to me afterwards, the sex and reconnection is amazing.
Fear - of the unknown I suppose. We have never been down this route before. Swinging - yes, same guy more than once - yes, a regular FWB - no.
Do any couples have a similar thing going on?
J
"
Glad you are both excited about it! It’s also about him too, not just you! Just be careful they don’t fall for each other as that could be disastrous and it can happen. Good luck  |
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Yes there are 3 people who need consideration.
That's my worry, feelings getting in the way and someone getting hurt.
Thanks for the replies, it has helped give me some perspective.
It is manageable at the end of the day, with communication and rules I suppose.
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By *erty21Man
over a year ago
Leigh |
Hi I would have a real good think about it as my wife did just the same thing... she wont a regular chap she felt safe with but it turned into somthing more and she left to be with him....
Sex with people does lead to fellings and meeting the same person is bound to bring feelings and emotions.... |
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Obviously this is one of the concerns. We have a very strong relationship and have ground rules in place to safeguard things.
Limits on frequency, time, no overnights etc. Transparency on communication (she tells me exactly what he’s saying on WhatsApp). Transparency on what happens when they meet.
Thankfully her friend will be living 80 miles away and can only realistically meet up every couple of months.
A big part of this is if her friend can control his feelings and understand the FWB dynamic. L has made it clear the minute he develops feelings or does anything to compromise her marriage, it ends.
L is confident she can manage this, she see’s it for what it is, but the minute she personally starts to feel it’s moving from FWB to more she will call it off.
I too have the right to call time on it if I become uncomfortable.
Hopefully this safeguards our marriage |
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By *erty21Man
over a year ago
Leigh |
Hi sorry to sound the voice of doom but thats exactly what we had in place.... all was good then wham she was gone...ive talked to differant people about seeing the same person a lot and they have voiced the same concern nice sexy meets with no life worrys allways date night etc will lead to feeling for each other my wife acted on them thats the prob....
But every relationship is differant and from my heart i hope nothing happens to yours... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As per my thread on Thursday, L has had a date with a friend, who she hasn’t seen for a long time.
A few years ago they had a bit of a thing going on. It started with a bit of very discreet flirting at work, which led to a few dates and eventually they had sex. It would have become a semi-regular thing (every couple of months) but sadly he moved away.
L had a great time on Thursday, they enjoyed a nice meal and ended the night with a little kissing and fondling (a lot to be fair). She came home late, smiling and looking flushed, then we had a little fun ourselves.
Her friend told her he is moving back to the area, and he would like to see her again, and more often. He is aware I know of their friendship and understands I give L the freedom to do this.
We are currently discussing this as a couple, obviously we both have to be happy for this to proceed.
L is of course happy, obviously she is attracted to him, she knows him well and trusts him. He’s single, clean and reliable, importantly he’s career focussed and lives far enough away to keep it what it is, a date every couple of months with some hot sex.
Me?
I love letting my wife be free every now and then to enjoy herself. I know, not everyone gets it, or understands compersion.
Excited - I love having a naughty wife. I love her coming back to me afterwards, the sex and reconnection is amazing.
Fear - of the unknown I suppose. We have never been down this route before. Swinging - yes, same guy more than once - yes, a regular FWB - no.
Do any couples have a similar thing going on?
J
"
To answer your question, yes this is exactly the situation me and my wife have. I'll be honest, it's been more difficult than expected (the emotional side more than the physical), however I wouldn't change it. I love seeing her experience a side of her personality which was previously hidden away.
Certainly added another dimension to our relationship.
As you can see from my profile, she loves it so much she suggested I give it a go too 
Key point though, you've gotta be solid in your relationship for it to work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A big part of this is if her friend can control his feelings and understand the FWB dynamic. "
His feelings and actions are pretty irrelevant tbh, your wife is responsible for her own actions. The truth is that there is no guarantee of what will happen, regardless of how open she is being with you. It may work out well for you, it may not, that is the risk you take. Best of luck. |
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"Hi I would have a real good think about it as my wife did just the same thing... she wont a regular chap she felt safe with but it turned into somthing more and she left to be with him....
Sex with people does lead to fellings and meeting the same person is bound to bring feelings and emotions...."
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I've got to say, a week on from the date I'm seeing things clearer and with more balance.
For every pro there is a con, and in honesty some of the comments over the last few days have made me a little nervous.
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"As per my thread on Thursday, L has had a date with a friend, who she hasn’t seen for a long time.
A few years ago they had a bit of a thing going on. It started with a bit of very discreet flirting at work, which led to a few dates and eventually they had sex. It would have become a semi-regular thing (every couple of months) but sadly he moved away.
L had a great time on Thursday, they enjoyed a nice meal and ended the night with a little kissing and fondling (a lot to be fair). She came home late, smiling and looking flushed, then we had a little fun ourselves.
Her friend told her he is moving back to the area, and he would like to see her again, and more often. He is aware I know of their friendship and understands I give L the freedom to do this.
We are currently discussing this as a couple, obviously we both have to be happy for this to proceed.
L is of course happy, obviously she is attracted to him, she knows him well and trusts him. He’s single, clean and reliable, importantly he’s career focussed and lives far enough away to keep it what it is, a date every couple of months with some hot sex.
Me?
I love letting my wife be free every now and then to enjoy herself. I know, not everyone gets it, or understands compersion.
Excited - I love having a naughty wife. I love her coming back to me afterwards, the sex and reconnection is amazing.
Fear - of the unknown I suppose. We have never been down this route before. Swinging - yes, same guy more than once - yes, a regular FWB - no.
Do any couples have a similar thing going on?
J
"
M here and I was exactly the same I love her being naughty and I openly tell her she is free to play with her FB as a 3 sum with me or on her own as we trust him ( which is the most important thing ) unfortunately he seems to of moved on so the search goes on.Just be careful not to push her closer to him that it turns into some more than just sex and fun there is a very fine line that could easily be crossed.  |
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Thanks M, I hear you.
Providing the frequency isn’t too often, I’m sure myself and L will be able to manage it. L has also suggested we regularly review it, eg after every couple of dates to ensure we are both happy.
I suppose it’s up to me to have a clear head and help keep the FWB dynamic under control just as much as L. It would be very easy for both of us to get carried away with the naughtiness of it, which of course may have a detremental effect on our relationship.
L has always asked and always will ask if it’s ok to meet, so I supppse a lot of responsibility sits with me to be honest with both myself and her, especially if I become uneasy.
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