FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Too fussy/ mental block - anyone had this?
Too fussy/ mental block - anyone had this?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right this is a serious question. Is there such a thing as being TOO fussy?
The reason I ask is because I’ve been frustrating myself. There are plenty of nice, attractive people that message me on here - but still I find myself not wanting to meet the majority them. And there’s no real reason to it, there’s just something in the back of my mind that puts me off people easily.
Has anyone else felt like this? And how can I overcome it? I’m wondering what the mental block is? |
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I think a little more detail is needed to understand your situation. Is it how they conduct themselves in their messages, their sexual desires, the kind of conversations or banter you have with them that turns you off?
What about when you meet random people on a social, club or bar?
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Right this is a serious question. Is there such a thing as being TOO fussy?
The reason I ask is because I’ve been frustrating myself. There are plenty of nice, attractive people that message me on here - but still I find myself not wanting to meet the majority them. And there’s no real reason to it, there’s just something in the back of my mind that puts me off people easily.
Has anyone else felt like this? And how can I overcome it? I’m wondering what the mental block is? "
I don't know you so wouldn't know your experiences, mood or reasons for being on here so couldn't say where that all stems from however, if you are having a hard time, take a break from the site and come back when you feel better. Don't force it, go with the flow  |
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By *emi2017Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
Is it has that I completely understand where you're coming from?
I am probably the fussiest person and there's not always a reason, just so much as a feeling. Can be perfectly polite or good looking but something just doesn't add up right and I'm not feeling it. Vibe has to be right for me |
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I have this alot but I don't think it's so much other people it's me & the way i think,I seem to be ok talking to people but when it comes to the crunch to meet it seems something always holds me back,it's like I fear things & one of them is i feel that I won't be up to people's expectations or theyll expect me to be someone im not,feel like im in a no win situaction,I should be out there having some fun but always holding back,i don't know how to overcome it either  |
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I am the same. I chat to some lovely men, swap numbers and get along great but just struggle to make that meeting commitment.
It's not so much I am fussy but have had a few not so good experiences on here and I always seem to come up with some reason in my head that stops me from meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have this alot but I don't think it's so much other people it's me & the way i think,I seem to be ok talking to people but when it comes to the crunch to meet it seems something always holds me back,it's like I fear things & one of them is i feel that I won't be up to people's expectations or theyll expect me to be someone im not,feel like im in a no win situaction,I should be out there having some fun but always holding back,i don't know how to overcome it either "
Same here. I can chat for a few days than the chat goes quiet and instead of messaging I just think ah well he's not interested and move on. So afraid to say hey I fancy you let's meet  |
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I'm the same but I don't see it as a problem. Some people are happy to meet loads of different people and some aren't, neither are wrong or bad, we're all different. I think its a case of wanting or feeling you'd like to behave a certain way that goes against your nature thats all.
I've accepted that I'm quite reserved and unlikely to ever be meeting loads of different people. |
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If you don't feel it for someone, that's ok. Meets aren't compulsory.
But sometimes that "fussiness" is used as a block because you don't really want to meet at all, for whatever reason.
If that's the case, be honest with yourself , and maybe Fab isn't the best place for you right now.
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When I'm having a mental block and am not open to meeting new people, it's because I've already met someone who, for want of a better phrase, is too hard of an act to follow. You have such amazing chemistry and sex that you end up holding them as the standard to which all others have to live up to, even in conversation, and it's rare that you'll find someone who does.
If it's not possible to keep meeting that person, I give myself a little break from it all and have a bit of a detox until I am open to meeting new/other people again. If it is possible to keep meeting that person I'm more than happy to do so until whenever that fucklust fizzles out and just don't bother meeting others (I wouldn't like anyone to think they were my Plan B or that I was settling for them because I couldn't meet the one I really lust after that day).
Have a think about why you feel closed off and blocked OP. You probably already know the answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right this is a serious question. Is there such a thing as being TOO fussy?
The reason I ask is because I’ve been frustrating myself. There are plenty of nice, attractive people that message me on here - but still I find myself not wanting to meet the majority them. And there’s no real reason to it, there’s just something in the back of my mind that puts me off people easily.
Has anyone else felt like this? And how can I overcome it? I’m wondering what the mental block is? "
Nothing wrong with being fussy, I don't get why you want to get over it like you want to just sleep with anyone.
Everyone sets there own standard there's nothing wrong sticking with it.
If you belive it's a mental block could it just be nerves. |
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I bother less about the why and more about the specifics of what I want. If others aren't for you, then it's pointless pursuing them for sex. Instead, work on finding those that could work for you and where there's a matching of interests. Most of us here just meet a minority of the people that we start to engage with, because we fine tune the filtering, so that we get quality meets, with people who are right for us.
If you're looking for something that's more than just very casual no strings, then consider whether other avenues may be alternative sources for people to get to know, in addition to fab, whether that's through people you know, other activities and interests etc. |
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