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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, I have been on fab a while now but seem to struggle with my opening messages... They tend to be opened/read (although not all) but I very rarely get a reply and when I do, the conversation seems to quickly fizzle out (I know this indicates poor quality messages and I would agree this is most likely the case). I try to keep it polite and always include a face pic and where possible reference their profile to indicate I have read through it but not too sure what I am doing wrong so any advice would be welcome please!
Thanks, Aaron |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think it's just a problem us guys have in general. It only takes one dickhead to get angry when a woman or couple say he isn't their type and they will understandable just ignore messages from people that don't do it for them.
Plus they get like hundreds of mails a day. I'm glad I'm a guy or I'd have to hire a secretary to keep up with that workload |
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"Hi everyone, I have been on fab a while now but seem to struggle with my opening messages... They tend to be opened/read (although not all) but I very rarely get a reply and when I do, the conversation seems to quickly fizzle out (I know this indicates poor quality messages and I would agree this is most likely the case). I try to keep it polite and always include a face pic and where possible reference their profile to indicate I have read through it but not too sure what I am doing wrong so any advice would be welcome please!
Thanks, Aaron"
the recipient(s) will nearly always read your profile before even bothering with the message op, don’t assume it’s just your messages. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try joining in wigh the general forum conversations, then people will get to know you. Easier ghan going in cold.."
This!
I really do think that definitely helps, I've met with people that I've got to know from the forums but if I'm honest if they just popped up in my inbox I probably would have passed by. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do."
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness"
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover "
Very well said  |
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"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness"
And of course you want to have hundreds of "no thanks" in your inbox. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try joining in wigh the general forum conversations, then people will get to know you. Easier ghan going in cold.."
Thanks, I will have a look through the forums this weekend and try and get a little more involved... See if I can get to know some people that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover "
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself "
Equally as polite as the countless random friend requests we receive from people who either can’t be bothered to read our profile or decide to go ahead and do it anyway despite us politely asking them not to. It’s Fab, it’s a hook up site, don’t get so hung up on it. If they deleted it then they aren’t interested so why does it matter HOW they tell you that ? Just wipe your face and keep looking for someone who DOES wanna meet u |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do."
Absolutely spot on.
If they don't fancy you, what point is there in replying?
Think about it, would you really want an inbox full of 'No thank you's'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try joining in wigh the general forum conversations, then people will get to know you. Easier ghan going in cold..
This!
I really do think that definitely helps, I've met with people that I've got to know from the forums but if I'm honest if they just popped up in my inbox I probably would have passed by. "
I don't think that's always the case I'm afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself "
Moaning that people don't reply to your unsolicited message is not polite and also shows a sense of entitlement! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try joining in wigh the general forum conversations, then people will get to know you. Easier ghan going in cold..
This!
I really do think that definitely helps, I've met with people that I've got to know from the forums but if I'm honest if they just popped up in my inbox I probably would have passed by.
I don't think that's always the case I'm afraid "
of course it isnt always the case, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for someone else I was simply saying what worked for me and it might be worth a try! |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I get a lot of junk mail through my front door, double glazing, pizza, people wanting to cut my trees down etc, I really don't take the time to message each one individually and say thank you so much for dropping by and putting your paper to my letterbox but I'm really not interested in your services, I wish you all the best. I just put it in the recycling bin, pretty similar to on here really. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
If I actually reply to somebody who I'm not interested in, I feel like I'm wasting their time by having them open my message and read it. Just to find out that I'm not interested. I don't see the point in doing that, taking their time and rejecting them.
Even if I have done that on occasion, I've been got all kinds of replies from abuse to polite trying to generate a conversation, to even people saying 'you must be a little bit interested because you took the time to reply". There's no way of winning so I stick with what the site suggests in their frequently asked questions. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Also, if you feel that somebody is rude because they don't reply to your message, than that does help you, because you wouldn't want to meet people you feel are rude so it's filter for you anyway.
Even if you had originally wanted to meet them, if you now find that you feel they are rude, then surely you wouldn't want to meet them anymore anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself
Moaning that people don't reply to your unsolicited message is not polite and also shows a sense of entitlement! "
So if a guy paid you a compliment in real life you would think he was being rude and showing a sense of entitlement...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself
Moaning that people don't reply to your unsolicited message is not polite and also shows a sense of entitlement!
So if a guy paid you a compliment in real life you would think he was being rude and showing a sense of entitlement... "
That's a ridiculous thing to say!
The difference is the man paying me a compliment in the street is probably not hoping to have sex with me without putting any other effort in.
And also I don't get that up to 200 times a day and if I did yes I would ignore them. I don't understand why people get their knickers in a twist it is very clearly stated in the rules but deleting a message is perfectly acceptable.
I'm bored with people suggesting it is rude not replied when i do reply it's very rarely just left there.
you either get follow-up messages asking why you are not interested or are you sure or you get complete abuse.
Rather than suggesting people that delete messages are rude maybe you should just get on with your own fab experience and let everyone get on with theirs!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't reply,or delete your message it is just a polite way according to the site frequently asked questions of saying no thank you.
If you are reading their profile and referring to it, and including a face picture then probably there's not much else you could do.
i dont think not replying and deleting is a polite way of saying no thank you that is the last thing it is - i appreciate it isnt easy if you get hundreds of messages but it aint politeness
It is...there’s no time to send even a quick note to say thank you but no thank you. Or would a bald ‘No.’ in your inbox really be a politer way of doing it?
The way I always put it is...I get 30 mesaages an hour, so even if I didn’t focus on my job, relationship, house, friends, hobbies and fitness...I would still only have two minutes per message to reply. 120 seconds is a very short time. When you factor in reading the message and checking the profile...I probably have around forty-five to sixty seconds left to compose a response. So...about the time to type, ‘No.’ or ’I’m not interested’ or ‘My day is going fine but no.’
Bear in mind, that 90% of times I have responded politely, I’ve then had follow up mails to either try and convince me that they do meet my requirements/thank me/ask more questions/outright abuse...my inbox then spirals out of control.
Deleting them really is the politest way to say ‘Thanks so much for your message. I’m sorry, I’ve considered your message and looked at your profile and for various reasons decided that we’re not compatible and therefore will be declining to answer your question/meet with you. This isn’t a stance I’ll be changing. Have a great day and I hope you find someone! Cat x’
The FAQ’s clearly state that a delete is a polite response (which, given most of the messages I receive, is a darn sight politer than what I’d want to send back!). As such, just take it in that spirit. It’s a way to allow you to focus on people who will want to meet with you.
#minirantover
its fine but however you dress it up you are not being polite - stop kidding yourself
Moaning that people don't reply to your unsolicited message is not polite and also shows a sense of entitlement!
So if a guy paid you a compliment in real life you would think he was being rude and showing a sense of entitlement...
That's a ridiculous thing to say!
The difference is the man paying me a compliment in the street is probably not hoping to have sex with me without putting any other effort in.
And also I don't get that up to 200 times a day and if I did yes I would ignore them. I don't understand why people get their knickers in a twist it is very clearly stated in the rules but deleting a message is perfectly acceptable.
I'm bored with people suggesting it is rude not replied when i do reply it's very rarely just left there.
you either get follow-up messages asking why you are not interested or are you sure or you get complete abuse.
Rather than suggesting people that delete messages are rude maybe you should just get on with your own fab experience and let everyone get on with theirs!!!"
Ones Fab experience is conducted as one would conduct oneself in real life...attitudes on here say a lot about people in real life |
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