FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I'm in a catch 22 problem.
I'm in a catch 22 problem.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Again OP, you’re looking at it the wrong way. Using a club isn’t paying for sex. You’re paying to use facilities where like minded people meet.
Going in with the attitude that “it’s not guaranteed” has one guarantee. You won’t have any fun at all.
Nobody owes you sex. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
You're looking at using fab to get your dick wet (that's how it's coming across). That's your first mistake.
Second mistake is thinking that you've 'wasted' your money if you don't get laid at a club.
Swinging isn't only about sex, it's a community of people who share common interests that tend to be sexual. Most of us enjoy the social as much as the sex.
You don't seem to want to put any effort into this at all, you don't want to travel, pay to go to a club, you even say webcam's are not an option, what exactly are you expecting? |
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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Ultimately, are you here because you want to partake in the lifestyle or are you just trying to get a quick fuck? If the former, stop being so entitled, get yourself to a club or a social - where nothing is ever ‘guaranteed’ - and just enjoy it for what it is; a chance to meet like-minded people. That way you might meet someone willing to verify that you not only exist, but seem to be a decent human being.
If it’s the latter, you’re better off going down town on a Saturday night. |
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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"
You're looking at using fab to get your dick wet (that's how it's coming across). That's your first mistake.
Second mistake is thinking that you've 'wasted' your money if you don't get laid at a club.
Swinging isn't only about sex, it's a community of people who share common interests that tend to be sexual. Most of us enjoy the social as much as the sex.
You don't seem to want to put any effort into this at all, you don't want to travel, pay to go to a club, you even say webcam's are not an option, what exactly are you expecting? "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand that ..... Ideally I'd like to meet someone and do something other than sex first, have a drink or meal. But no one local wants to talk or do anything. |
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
No-one likes a tight-arse, pay the money and go to a club.
And... with reference to "paying for sex", just because you pay to attend a club, does not mean sex is on a plate, its an entrance fee, nothing else, the chances of having fun are dependent on how you are as an individual, if you are a friendly, polite, genuine, chatty, non-pushy guy you may get lucky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? " have a wank? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do?
You're looking at using fab to get your dick wet (that's how it's coming across). That's your first mistake.
Second mistake is thinking that you've 'wasted' your money if you don't get laid at a club.
Swinging isn't only about sex, it's a community of people who share common interests that tend to be sexual. Most of us enjoy the social as much as the sex.
You don't seem to want to put any effort into this at all, you don't want to travel, pay to go to a club, you even say webcam's are not an option, what exactly are you expecting? "
Could say it any better, you need to think about it again what is it you're really looking for. If you only want occasional shags without putting any effort in it then you probably need to pay a "professional" to do it for you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand that ..... Ideally I'd like to meet someone and do something other than sex first, have a drink or meal. But no one local wants to talk or do anything. "
Let me get my violin out gees your looking at it all the wrong way, this is a swing site try a dating site instead.. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I understand that ..... Ideally I'd like to meet someone and do something other than sex first, have a drink or meal. But no one local wants to talk or do anything. "
You are still expecting sex, though...
Havinv a meal with someone does not mean that sex is a foregone conclusion |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
£40-50 is a average night out now days and you don't need sex to get a verify try the social side and get out more and if you go in to clubs with I'm only here for sex attitude you won't last long and it will be a waste of money and rightly so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You seem like an honest bloke. I looked at your profile and although you’ve took the time to fill it in (unlike me), perhaps you’ve gone into a wee bit too much detail in parts. I’d maybe switch pics too as that one on the boat is a real good one. Perhaps your tag line could be more upbeat also.
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"I understand that ..... Ideally I'd like to meet someone and do something other than sex first, have a drink or meal. But no one local wants to talk or do anything.
You are still expecting sex, though...
Havinv a meal with someone does not mean that sex is a foregone conclusion "
This. It's about meeting people, not just knocking genitals together. |
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"Ultimately, are you here because you want to partake in the lifestyle or are you just trying to get a quick fuck? If the former, stop being so entitled, get yourself to a club or a social - where nothing is ever ‘guaranteed’ - and just enjoy it for what it is; a chance to meet like-minded people. That way you might meet someone willing to verify that you not only exist, but seem to be a decent human being.
If it’s the latter, you’re better off going down town on a Saturday night."
Agreed. And the volume of guys expecting this to be an easy route to regular casual sex is overwhelming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you view paying to get in to a club as paying for sex and simultaneously don't want to pay to get in to a club because sec isn't guaranteed you ate going to struggle. Not because you aren't verified, not because you don't want to go to clubs but because your sense of expectation and your sense of entitlement ate way out of line with the reality of this scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're the one putting barriers up to stop you from participating in the lifestyle. If you refuse to put any effort in, you'll get nothing.
You appear to not want to go to a club unless you're guaranteed a leg over, an attitude that will get you nowhere. You really do need to rethink your whole approach, or decide whether swinging is really for you or not. From the outside, you come across as someone that just wants to get their dick wet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nah not really.... I'm not bothered anymore .... Everyone just assumes I'm after sex but I'm far from it now ... I just want to have a good time now and just see it out .... I'm done I'm not bothered. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah not really.... I'm not bothered anymore .... Everyone just assumes I'm after sex but I'm far from it now ... I just want to have a good time now and just see it out .... I'm done I'm not bothered. "
You clearly are bothered or you wouldn't start a thread about it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah that was earlier but In that time I've changed my thinking and profile. I'm not even that interested anymore I'm just going to wait it out and see. In the meanwhile have fun.
Sorry to bother you all and waste your time. |
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It can be hard for a guy on here.
Just go to a club, or a social. it's not about the sex it's (in my opinion) just a great relaxed place to be.
I once passed up an opportunity in a club because I was already having a FAB time without playing.
I miss the lifestyle but not the playing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
How would you know the cost of it op ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP,
It comes across to me that you think it’s wrong to pay for sex, which you feel you’d be doing if you went to a club but It would be ok if you got it for free via a meet on here?
You have to put some effort in if you want success on the site. Nothing is guaranteed. Everyone of us started out as new and unverified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone. |
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By *inxy300Woman
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
"All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone. "
Arrrr couldnt put it better myself, glad too see someone has finally git some sense x |
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By *inxy300Woman
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
"All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone.
Arrrr couldnt put it better myself, glad too see someone has finally git some sense x"
I know i put git and not got pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you read the guys post properly you will see that he is against paying for sex i.e. with a lady of the night
Which is fair play off him to say that
But where you've fell down pal is mentioning that paying to get into a club and not getting it wet would be seen as a waste of money for you
Really really shitty attitude tbh
My advice if your really wanting some guaranteed sexy time is up there/\/\ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone. "
Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
Have a wank.
Guaranteed and completely free....
unless you do it somewhere inappropriate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do?
Have a wank.
Guaranteed and completely free....
unless you do it somewhere inappropriate "
racheal x |
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Ok here’s honesty for you!
- you’re pics are shit! Where’s the effort? And drawing on your cock n taking a photo??? Ermmm no!!!
- do some manscaping!
- change your attitude! Us ladies are free fuck machines! Just because you’re on here don’t mean you’ll get a fuck for free!
- get a personality! I think most of the others on here will agree that it’s the personality that attracts them most and first
- stop being a tight arse! If you’re into the lifestyle then take part properly
- if you’re only after a fuck then use the delete profile option!
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By *zamiWoman
over a year ago
LONDON |
"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? have a wank? "
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I go to a great club n Glasgow and I don’t play every time I go. I go and chatvto a lot of lovely people and sometimes arrange to meet another time. It’s never a wasted night.
I do agree with the comment about single guys not turning up. I get a few Fabbers for a pub quiz and many single guys don’t turn up.
Take some better pics for a start. No need to get your cock out. |
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"I understand that ..... Ideally I'd like to meet someone and do something other than sex first, have a drink or meal. But no one local wants to talk or do anything.
You are still expecting sex, though...
Havinv a meal with someone does not mean that sex is a foregone conclusion "
You mean he hasn't 'earned' a shag?
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And it's not a Catch 22 because it's not actually a real problem. People will use the 'you haven't got any veris' rerason for not meeting you because they are trying not to hurt anyone's feelings or don't want to get into to and fro messages about why they don't fancy you etc. etc.
It's also a convenient handle for newbies to hang onto rather than deal with what might be the real issue.
e.g. If someone sends us a message complete with pics of a cock that looks like it's been through a mincer then, if they have no veris, then that is the easy answer to give them.
Likewise we won't arrange to meet men that are married so if they can't accommodate and have no veris it's a lot easier to use the veris as a reason than get into the whole 'but I live with my parents/sister/housemates thing. We don't care! By cutting out the men that can't accommodate we are cutting out 99% of the married 'single men' |
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
Woooaaahh hold on ! .... I think you are VERY mistaken if you think that paying to go to a club without play is the same as paying for sex ???
A club is a fun place to go to meet other swingers not a brothel
I go to clubs all the time , very rarely play but I have a great time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
so you don't want to pay for sex, but you also don't want to pay for a club unless sex is pretty much guaranteed...gotcha... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do?
Woooaaahh hold on ! .... I think you are VERY mistaken if you think that paying to go to a club without play is the same as paying for sex ???
A club is a fun place to go to meet other swingers not a brothel
I go to clubs all the time , very rarely play but I have a great time " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP ....I here what you saying in a round about way but here's my input in tge most constructive way I can put it..
1..Change your pics put some effort in lose all the dick pics it's not going to get you anywhere.
2..Rewrite your profile.
3..Try and take part in the forums with some fun chatty positive comments and get yourself known.
As for clubs until you have stepped foot inside one you really have no idea what to expect they are all different..but one thing in common your not paying for sex ..your not paying for the entitlement for sex but you are paying for a night out in the company of people in a swingers enviroment..get chatting be polite chatty friendly certainly none pushy and no expectations.You may be surprised this isn't all about the sex meeting people socially is the attraction how you come across.Respect and a good demeanour go a long way..
Hope this helps good luck.. |
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
I think you need to have a sit down and rethink what swinging and fab is all about
Not wanting to pay for club entry because sex isn't guaranteed is a crazy way to look at things.
You also talk about "earning" sex which again comes across as if the woman has to have sex just because you've done certain things, I'd advise you to stop thinking of women as a commodity and you might get more sex.
The more desperate you are the more it will show through and it's not a good look or attractive to ladies.
Go old school and chat to women off fab in your normal daily life, ask her for a coffee, have a giggle and you never know she might want fun as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's really not down to veri's. Sure, some people won't meet you without and it makes it harder but they're not the be all and end all. I'm getting pretty bored of listening to guys moan that they haven't had a shag after 10mins of trying.
I recommend you go and try the regular dating apps for a year or two. On them you'll get just as few replies but never know if your message was read or not, there's the fakes and window shoppers and adulterers and scams, there's no forum where you can display your character and chat before you message people, people disappear for no reason after you've chatted for ages, if you do get a meet there's almost no chance of sex until you've seen them several times. If you manage to get through all of those hurdles and meet someone they'll never veri you cos it doesn't exist so, if it doesn't work out with them, you'll be back at square one trying to meet someone new with no character reference in a world where women in particular are incredibly wary of meeting (possibly for good reason) and categorically state that they're NOT LOOKING FOR SEX.
Then come back to Fab and you'll see what an awesome place it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really not down to veri's. Sure, some people won't meet you without and it makes it harder but they're not the be all and end all. I'm getting pretty bored of listening to guys moan that they haven't had a shag after 10mins of trying.
I recommend you go and try the regular dating apps for a year or two. On them you'll get just as few replies but never know if your message was read or not, there's the fakes and window shoppers and adulterers and scams, there's no forum where you can display your character and chat before you message people, people disappear for no reason after you've chatted for ages, if you do get a meet there's almost no chance of sex until you've seen them several times. If you manage to get through all of those hurdles and meet someone they'll never veri you cos it doesn't exist so, if it doesn't work out with them, you'll be back at square one trying to meet someone new with no character reference in a world where women in particular are incredibly wary of meeting (possibly for good reason) and categorically state that they're NOT LOOKING FOR SEX.
Then come back to Fab and you'll see what an awesome place it is."
Wow this fella can rabbit on...is your name Chas or dave |
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Paying entry to a club is in no way paying for sex
Imagine you met someone for a social and bought them dinner and drinks... That's far more like paying for sex to me and will probably be more than paying entry to a club.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Wow this fella can rabbit on...is your name Chas or dave
It's Sam. Was that too much for you to read as well?"
Only having a bit of banter Sam obvs
Tbh it was a well thought out and written post pal
Just hope for the ladies sakes you can fornicate as good as you can natter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Wow this fella can rabbit on...is your name Chas or dave
It's Sam. Was that too much for you to read as well?
Only having a bit of banter Sam obvs
Tbh it was a well thought out and written post pal
Just hope for the ladies sakes you can fornicate as good as you can natter "
Yep, no worries. I got it but I can give as good as I get
I fuck like I write: with style, proper punctuation, passion and at great length |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Wow this fella can rabbit on...is your name Chas or dave
It's Sam. Was that too much for you to read as well?
Only having a bit of banter Sam obvs
Tbh it was a well thought out and written post pal
Just hope for the ladies sakes you can fornicate as good as you can natter
Yep, no worries. I got it but I can give as good as I get
I fuck like I write: with style, proper punctuation, passion and at great length"
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"All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone.
Well said. "
Love how you guys are saying well said when its clear he came here expecting sex his attitude I believe has sealed his fate ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All,
I read the OPs message slightly differently. He says he’s against paying for sex, by which I understand him to mean prostitutes.
That might be why he feels a little “attached” by the comments about him being a tight arse or not getting the lifestyle.
For full disclosure I don’t know Atlas, but I think I understand what he meant. The Catch 22 is having the courage to jump into the lifestyle and hope you catch on.
I agree it does sound like he’s looking for a sure bet, but he’s tried to honestly ask for some help. Can we be a bit more of a supportive and caring group?
P.S. OP - I’m not verified and not had any meets either. Taking a while for me to reach a point in my life where I feel I can commit to the lifestyle more than just online, but I’m getting there.
Have fun everyone.
Well said.
Love how you guys are saying well said when its clear he came here expecting sex his attitude I believe has sealed his fate ... "
Maybe so, but he was honest and is clearly new to this. Perhaps it’s for him, perhaps not. He’s finding his way but attacking him is not helpful and is unnecessary - such as the comment about him needing to lose weight! What a pathetic thing to say to a person. So I agreed with the caring community sentiment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Paying to get into a swinging club is just like paying to get into a dance club nothing is guaranteed you dont pay to get in to a nightclub because your guaranteed a boink do you? Alot of fabbers enjoy the social aspect of fab as much as the sexual side if your treating fab as a quick fuck and go then i honestly dont think fab is for you i personally have been on more social meets then sexual meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try to see who is local and ask them to go for a coffee meet for say half an hour .. This is a good way to kick start your account .. Try to think outside the box and not just to meet for sex..
That will come in time.
I have varified a couple of new accounts on here to start them off.
Good things come to he who waits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you imagine telling a girl in a nightclub she has got to dance with you because you paid to get in "
Yes I could but I don’t know if it’d work as she paid too presumably and would probably just say she paid not to dance.
Worth a shot though
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed"
Oh the hypocrisy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear OP, no lady (and that's what we are until we tell you otherwise) is a guaranteed shag inside or outside a club. Sorry to break it to you. You are paying to meet like minded people and use the facilities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear OP, no lady (and that's what we are until we tell you otherwise) is a guaranteed shag inside or outside a club. Sorry to break it to you. You are paying to meet like minded people and use the facilities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you imagine telling a girl in a nightclub she has got to dance with you because you paid to get in "
Properly made me laugh. Thank you for that comment |
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
I think they were being kind and not mentioning the elephant in the room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
Why is webcam out of the question?
Takes 2 mins and you can be fully clothed and do nothing sexual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"prefer to earn it instead of paying" op ?
Sure some of the hot housewives would like there gardens pruning for a few hours.....
Or perhaps unblock there drainpipes
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I would say there are lots of us who got their first verification through a one on one meet. So people do meet people with no verifications. Granted not all and some activity do not. But my point is no verification is not the kiss of death because we all started off without one. Many of us often don't/receive verifications for every meet. I'd not stress about no verifications and instead work on making the rest of your profile and pictures the best you can, that is your real sales pitch. Of course if you get the oppertunity to get out into the wider scene (socials, club, etc) do, it may help as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another lost soul..... this used to be a good site seems all the younguns these days don't know how to enjoy themselves in the normal life first then try a swinging club "
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? "
I think that this just shows that despite changing your profile you haven’t changed your attitude to women and sex in general. Whilst I disagree with the price solo guys have to pay to go clubbing (that’s a different story) the fact that you call it “throwing it away for nothing” just tells me you’d be better off paying for sex, at least you’d be guaranteed a fuck.
V x |
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do?
I think that this just shows that despite changing your profile you haven’t changed your attitude to women and sex in general. Whilst I disagree with the price solo guys have to pay to go clubbing (that’s a different story) the fact that you call it “throwing it away for nothing” just tells me you’d be better off paying for sex, at least you’d be guaranteed a fuck.
V x "
Nailed it as per.
OP the women here are not free sex workers and there are plenty of us that fork out to go to a club on our own and rarely play because of the calibre of people we are attracted to. However, most of us have a cracking evening and I for one can say it's the most fun I've ever had.
What happened on NYE (my birthday), I will save for a whole thread about fantastic evenings in clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do?
I think that this just shows that despite changing your profile you haven’t changed your attitude to women and sex in general. Whilst I disagree with the price solo guys have to pay to go clubbing (that’s a different story) the fact that you call it “throwing it away for nothing” just tells me you’d be better off paying for sex, at least you’d be guaranteed a fuck.
V x "
Tbh v think even a hooker would want a social first
Boom boom tish tish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been told/hinted no one will meet me because I'm new and not verified but to get verified I need to get a meet but I can't do that because I can't get verified.
So the only thing is socials and clubs and web cams is out of the option... .. Socials whenever they're on from where I live require me to travel quite far and the closest club is shhh..... Which is probably my only option but I need some convincing ... I'm highly against paying for sex I find it immorale and prefer to earn it instead of paying, also wasting money for something not guaranteed is another thing putting me off I don't feel like throwing £40-50 quid away for nothing. ..... What can I do? " don't pay for it matey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see alot of women saying your paying to meet like minded people and its not a waste if you dont get laid.
However when ever there is mention of men and women paying the same at a club for entry people say women wouldn't go if they had to pay the same as men.
So if your paying fir the ability to meet like minded folks and socialise why wouldn't women go if they paid the same price as men?
I personally dont go to clubs as i disagree with the discrimantory charging (i did go to jsne, shame it was closed down, but they were charging a set price per person). And no i did not go with the expectation of getting laid, i did go to meet friends from on here tho. |
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I a regular at VAs and without sounding disrespectful your going about it all wrong. Don't visit a club *expecting to play* but im sure if your well presented and a decent guy you will meet plenty who will leave you a verification. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m going to stick my 2p into this thread:
Fab is a hard place to get meets for a bloke, it’s hard for some couples too (like us) but do you see us moaning about it? Absolutely fucking not because we are here for the social side too, we know we are a very niche ‘market’ if I can coin that phrase, we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and we go along with the attitude ‘if a chance for a meet comes along..brilliant, if not we’re having a brilliant time chatting to likeminded people’.
We want to go to more clubs but with kids at the weekends and money tight sometimes we know that is against us but we make it work, we adapt around it, we’ve been to a club during the day and hell no! We didn’t get to play but we had a lovely time in a hot tub with others, chatting shit mostly but it was the company, if we go to a club and don’t get to play, we don’t go home crying about it, we’ve had a fun day out with pleasant pekple who made us laugh.
I’ve read quite a few of your posts and you do seem out to shock on a lot of them, like you want the attention but you know the great thing about these forums? You can just be yourself, sure some threads we get over looked but others we don’t, we don’t have to come up with some shocking revelation to gain attention (not saying whatever has happened in your life isn’t true but sometimes it does seem a bit far fetched), stop trying so hard and think is this really the place for you, because from where I am laying, I don’t think it is because it’s not a shag fest (for some it is) 24/7, if requires work, time and patience. If you just want sex I don’t really know where to suggest to guarantee a shag (apart from the obvious).
I hope you find what you are looking for, I really do.
Danish x |
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