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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
Hi all so heres the thing. I’ve always known I was interested in both sex's. I think most people know what they want and how they fell buy the time they hit the teenage years. Just they don’t know or can’t get the support they need to make the best choices for them.
So I have a 25 year old niece I have watched her grow up and have seen her grow in the direction of trans f t m she has changed her name to a gender neutral and dresses in male to non gender type clothes. My sister says she is struggling with “ life stuff “ at the moment. Do I try it chat to her and help her if I can or just stay out of it all. Could I cause more problems than I help. Non of the family know I’m bi so I could tell her and hope that might help her feel less alone. The family in general didn’t take her name change well. So I can see she would be reluctant to announce anything more.
Ideas please. |
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I would just let them know you support them and that you're there for them. If you go in too hard it might have the opposite effect of them opening up and it could make things worse. A bit of love and support might be all they're asking for if the family has taken it badly. Anything else may come across as an interrogation. They have to be ready. Anything you reveal to them about your own life is up to you though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could google "psychiatrist Paul McHugh and click on the link to the Washinton Post as well as the others.
He is from Johns Hopkins University Medical School and has had transgender patients.
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I would show support, if they are willing to talk then maybe come out to h as they may open up to you more if you do.
I would start with a polite question about their pronouns now that they are presenting nuetral and if the they ever see themselves deviating so feeling more feminine or masculine on occasion.
Just try and relate.
Read up and show interest and support, it will be appreciated xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would show support, if they are willing to talk then maybe come out to h as they may open up to you more if you do.
I would start with a polite question about their pronouns now that they are presenting nuetral and if the they ever see themselves deviating so feeling more feminine or masculine on occasion.
Just try and relate.
Read up and show interest and support, it will be appreciated xx
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could google "psychiatrist Paul McHugh and click on the link to the Washinton Post as well as the others.
He is from Johns Hopkins University Medical School and has had transgender patients.
"
The UK system and support is massively different to the USA in this area of work so that might raise expectations beyond what is possible in the UK.
Definitely let them know you want to support them and that you won't judge. Giving your own experience might not be helpful for either of you though, but to listen and accept will be massively helpful.
UK organisations do exist to help and support but it is patchy, at best postcode lottery I'm afraid but googling will help, also the health authority they are working with should have a support network. Male  |
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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
Well thanks to all of you. I decided if the opportunity arose then I would talk to her. I did talk to her. She is none binary lesbian. She is delighted I spoke up. We chatted for ages I found out that she has struggled with all this for years. How my bits of the family have stood in judgement of her and how my sister her mum still hasn’t accepted her name changed after 3 years. She had been told that I was the least likely in the family to understand. How wrong was that. So we are going chat more and exchange notes so to speak. The best thing I’ve done for ages was speaking up. So thanks again for all of you as it gave me the confidence to talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also as a side note, I would stay away from anything to do with Paul Mchugh. He's done more damage for trans healthcare than good. He maintained a belief that trans people should be treated psychologically not surgically/medically. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
Glad you and your niece are communicating. At least she knows that someone who loves her is on her side.
It sounds as if she has a long road ahead, and will need lots of love and support. But do make sure you have support, too.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op my daughter is bi and I found it hard to get to grips with at first but having met her friends who are also hi or gay I came to realise as long as she's happy then that's the main thing,as a parent you have a preconceived ideas as to how you see your childs life heading and when they divert from our idea we find it hard to accept it's just human nature but hopefully your neices mum will one day come round and accept she's leading a happy life her own way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all so heres the thing. I’ve always known I was interested in both sex's. I think most people know what they want and how they fell buy the time they hit the teenage years. Just they don’t know or can’t get the support they need to make the best choices for them.
So I have a 25 year old niece I have watched her grow up and have seen her grow in the direction of trans f t m she has changed her name to a gender neutral and dresses in male to non gender type clothes. My sister says she is struggling with “ life stuff “ at the moment. Do I try it chat to her and help her if I can or just stay out of it all. Could I cause more problems than I help. Non of the family know I’m bi so I could tell her and hope that might help her feel less alone. The family in general didn’t take her name change well. So I can see she would be reluctant to announce anything more.
Ideas please. "
Have a look for an organisation called MermaidsUK...they support trans kids. She may be 25 but a lot of what they do could be of help, especially when having those difficult initial conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all so heres the thing. I’ve always known I was interested in both sex's. I think most people know what they want and how they fell buy the time they hit the teenage years. Just they don’t know or can’t get the support they need to make the best choices for them.
So I have a 25 year old niece I have watched her grow up and have seen her grow in the direction of trans f t m she has changed her name to a gender neutral and dresses in male to non gender type clothes. My sister says she is struggling with “ life stuff “ at the moment. Do I try it chat to her and help her if I can or just stay out of it all. Could I cause more problems than I help. Non of the family know I’m bi so I could tell her and hope that might help her feel less alone. The family in general didn’t take her name change well. So I can see she would be reluctant to announce anything more.
Ideas please. "
By all means talk to her, but being bi is nothing like being trans. |
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