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Looking for Swing Partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Want to go to a club but the thought of going alone isn’t the one. Definitely harder for men than women. If there are any women in the Northwest that would like to show me the ropes just message! |
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To be honest, a lot of guys are looking for this, and I don't think a lot of women are willing to oblige. I often go to clubs with guys, but it tends to be guys I know pretty well and who I know have my back. (everyone says they have my back. Talk is cheap)
I wish you luck in what you're looking for, but honestly, it's not that scary as long as you're respectful. |
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Put you big boy pants on op. 
I've been to clubs as a single guy. Just go to have a chat and a laugh and meet new people. And dont go with any expectations to play. If it happens its a bonus.
I know it can be nervr wracking at first but it really is just like walking in to a bar by yourself. Smile, chat and be courteous. Jack |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You make it sound easy Jack, like you say maybe time to put the big boy pants on ???? I wouldn’t go to the pub really on my own though, not that I’m shy, I’d have a laugh and the craic and not look for anything like you suggest. |
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"You make it sound easy Jack, like you say maybe time to put the big boy pants on ???? I wouldn’t go to the pub really on my own though, not that I’m shy, I’d have a laugh and the craic and not look for anything like you suggest."
Fair point. Everybody is different. I've never had a problem going to a pub or bar by myself but I did use to work away quite a bit so was often on my own. The thing is, if you dont do it you'll never know. If you let the staff in the club know its your first time, the good ones will give you a tour and maybe introduce to a few locals. |
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It's weird and scary at first. That's true. But at first, treat it a bit like a pub where people want to talk to strangers. Stay sober, but chat to people, see what happens. We're still people even if we might not be wearing very much. Have a wander, you'll see some things most likely. Have a read around the forum on behaviour that's annoying and try not to do it, but basically it boils down to, be respectful and don't pester people. |
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"i find the tour more embarrasing as everyones looking ...
just slipin get a drink take a seat..."
Each to their own. Never found a tour embarrasing and got introduced to some great people on them. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I've been up for this many times but the guys always expect sex with me so i stopped offering.
I agree go on your own or even team up with a guy you get on with."
The expectation of sex is probably why most women aren't keen to accompany someone they don't know to a club. |
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"Want to go to a club but the thought of going alone isn’t the one. Definitely harder for men than women. If there are any women in the Northwest that would like to show me the ropes just message!"
I'm not sure it's more or less difficult for men or women to go to a club alone.
When I decided to try the club scene I found one near me, looked at their website and read the reviews.
Must have sent half a dozen messages asking questions they'd probably heard a million times before.
Explained it was going to be my first club visit and they were really helpful.
When I rocked up they made me welcome, gave me a tour, told me the rules and introduced me to a few people.
I suspect most clubs will do the same and welcome you.
Go, try it, don't expect a shag, hope to have a laugh and a chat. Don't be a dick and you'll have a great experience.
 |
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The first time is a nervous journey but if you arn't looking for an outcome you usually find it more relaxing. Find a club with a hot tub that's a great place to talk and much more relaxing than in a bar. Enjoy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am too looking for partner but not to gain entry in reduced price as couple. I will pay my share as single. I just need lift and ready to share the ride cost, bit hesitant going alone. If anyone willing and near reading area please PM. |
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"I've been up for this many times but the guys always expect sex with me so i stopped offering.
I agree go on your own or even team up with a guy you get on with.
The expectation of sex is probably why most women aren't keen to accompany someone they don't know to a club. "
Probably.
Best one was a guy who wanted someone i know all to himself, she's very into the idea of swinging but new to it so wanted to try it out. They made the boundary that she would go with women and he'd watch because he didn't want her having sex with other men...first club they went to she had a play with 2 women and enjoyed herself, went for a wee and he was fucking one of the women when she got back.
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"I've been up for this many times but the guys always expect sex with me so i stopped offering.
I agree go on your own or even team up with a guy you get on with.
The expectation of sex is probably why most women aren't keen to accompany someone they don't know to a club. "
The expectation of sex, plus, I generally prefer to go with a wingman. I don't trust strangers to be able to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As noted above, why do guys never ask for a man to accompany them if the only issue is not wanting to go alone? "
Good point! It's such a shame single men aren't brave enough to go alone. I'm far too selfish to share my locker with a random  |
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"As noted above, why do guys never ask for a man to accompany them if the only issue is not wanting to go alone? as most clubs would refuse guys coming together entry.
"
OK, one goes in five minutes after the other. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"As noted above, why do guys never ask for a man to accompany them if the only issue is not wanting to go alone? "
It's not a team sport. Why bring competition with you. People might assume you're a couple as well. Entry fee wouldn't be cheaper either unless you were a genuine bi/gay couple. |
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"I'd be more than happy to buddy up with a fellow chap to walk them into a club.
I'd have be comfortable knowing they're not a complete cock though. 
Rules me out then. "
I'm taking the 5th on that one. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I'd be more than happy to buddy up with a fellow chap to walk them into a club.
I'd have be comfortable knowing they're not a complete cock though.
Rules me out then.
I'm taking the 5th on that one. "
It's alright, you might cramp my style. |
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"I'd be more than happy to buddy up with a fellow chap to walk them into a club.
I'd have be comfortable knowing they're not a complete cock though.
Rules me out then.
I'm taking the 5th on that one.
It's alright, you might cramp my style. "
Yeah, that's it.  |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"I'd be more than happy to buddy up with a fellow chap to walk them into a club.
I'd have be comfortable knowing they're not a complete cock though. "
Sure that idea is not half cocked tho? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been up for this many times but the guys always expect sex with me so i stopped offering.
I agree go on your own or even team up with a guy you get on with.
The expectation of sex is probably why most women aren't keen to accompany someone they don't know to a club. "
This is why I don't do it anymore |
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"I've been up for this many times but the guys always expect sex with me so i stopped offering.
I agree go on your own or even team up with a guy you get on with.
The expectation of sex is probably why most women aren't keen to accompany someone they don't know to a club.
This is why I don't do it anymore"
They might just be wanting to get in cheaper |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I never ask for ladies to come with me!!!!
I always go on my own and see what happens. For me if I want to play I will ask (well I will if I have got courage)
The club scene is actually now my preferred way of meeting people. I can chat and talk with others have a quiet drink. If I am lucky watch sexual fun and if I am really lucky have sexual fun
For me if I don’t play, I don’t play. This year been to club 3 times had not had sex. Ok I have had a play but not full sex. It doesn’t bother me to much |
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"I am too looking for partner but not to gain entry in reduced price as couple. I will pay my share as single. I just need lift and ready to share the ride cost, bit hesitant going alone. If anyone willing and near reading area please PM."
Ignoring the cost aspect I wouldn't want to rely on or be reliant on someone else for transport. What if one of you is having a great night but the other hates it and is desperate to leave?
I don't understand why guys don't just book to go as singles and arrange to arrive at the same sort of time or meet outside and go in together so you've got a familiar face and someone to chat to until you find your feet. Unless it is about cost and expecting action after all... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay, so from the above messages I have learnt something and would like to answer people’s questions
Wouldn’t want to go with a man as don’t want people to think gay or bi - or not let us in as we come as a pair.
No problem paying as a single.
Do you have to share a locker? Can I not just get my own.
Want to soak up the atmosphere - not have sex first time, just see if it’s for me and what goes on.
Want to learn about etiquette and do’s and don’ts - maybe this should be a sticky on the forum?
Generally love the sound of it but don’t know what to expect/rules if I did go?
Hope this helps you experienced clubbed to help me and anyone else for that matter. |
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I'm sorry but I find the thing about people thinking you're gay the most narrow minded excuse. Presumably you're planning on talking to people while you're there, it'd take about 1 sentence and ten seconds to explain it's to arrive with a friendly face.
And arriving with another guy isn't going to stop you enjoying the atmosphere.
You've been given a bunch of reasons most women are reluctant to be club buddies with someone who's not a friend so what's more important to you, going or waiting until a rare woman offers? |
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One more thought, ditch the idea of a club buddy and use the meet section. Often people who are going post a meet saying get in touch if you're going and have a chat. It gives you a chance to get to know others a little and often they'll swap face pics so you know who to keep an eye out for. Just don't think its a promise to play.
And post your own meet for the she sort of thing - first timer looking to chat to people beforehand to find friendly faces.
I go to clubs as a single woman and this has worked well for me. |
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or the same sort of thing (Not she, it's early!)