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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know for most people on here physical attraction is the most important thing in deciding on who you want to meet. You have to find the face attractive. It’s normal. We all do it. How you decide who you are attracted to is unique to you. We are all unique individuals in our looks, body shape, body size, height, mannerisms, thoughts, sexual desires, wants, needs, etc. How you decide who you want to meet is obviously 100% your right. At the end of the day to a certain extent we no control over who it is we find sexy and who it is we are attracted to. We all find some we people meet or see a photograph of sexy. On the opposite side of the coin we all find some people we meet or see a photograph of not sexy. You didn’t deliberately set out to find a certain person sexy or not your brain and subconscious mind did this naturally. We may not admit it but we all play the would I wouldn’t game when we meet somebody of the opposite sex. Maybe we do it on a subconscious level sometimes. However, when we meet somebody or see a photograph of them we quickly decide if given the chance we would have sex with them or not.
You should never feel hurt if somebody says you are not their type. We can't be attractive to everybody we meet. Nobody is attractive to everyone they meet and nobody is not attractive everyone they meet. Obviously the % of opposite sex who found you attractive will vary from person to person based on your looks. For example, some women on here say they don't find Brad Pitt or George Clooney sexy while millions of women do. One of my friends would chop his left leg off to have sex with Keira Knightley and personally, she does nothing for me. I am not attracted to her looks wise and think she is too skinny body wise. A woman should have curves lol. If we were all attracted to the same things/people life would be very boring. Sometimes I can see a super model and think yeah your really beautiful looking and have a great body but I am not attracted to you. Sometimes for want of a better phrase I can see a plain Jane and think wow you are sexy as hell.
We all want to fuck who we are attracted to. However, sometimes for some men and women it is not just about physical attraction alone. There are lots of other things that are connected to attraction. I am not saying for others it is just about physical attraction alone but as some people have said in other forum threadd if they are not attracted to the persons face nothing is going to happen even if their personality and or body is the world’s best. Luckily for us less gorgeous faced people personality can be a deciding factor in somebody finding you attractive. Sometimes it is about selling you and letting your personality shine through. I know it is a bit if cliché and not always true but personality does count for a lot. I know a few people in other posts have said you can have the world’s best personality and a great body but if I am not attracted to your face then it’s not happening. That is fair enough. That is 100% their right to do that. If you want to entice the other person to want to know about you and to get to know you then sending a decent message with an up to date full body and face pic will do help you do that. Making sure your profile is good will help. Forget the fact you may hardly ever get a reply to your well crafted messages. Just because other women or couples have not replied to your well thought out message should not mean future women get a one line “Hi how R U?” message. What I am basically saying is you don’t have to be a male model to get a meet. To get a meet you have to put effort in and be prepared to go months without getting a meet.
I have a good friend on here. He is a single guy in his early 50’s. To put it politely he is far from being good looking and is slightly overweight. He isn’t a virgin and has had proper relationships in the past. He will not mind me saying this as I am not naming him. As far as meets goes he does ok for his looks and quite a bit better than average for his looks. The reason he does ok is he has a great personality and is a very funny guy. He lets his personality, humour and sense of fun shine in both his messages and profile. He realises as he is not a very good looking guy he has to put more effort in than a good looking guy. Let’s be honest here a really good looking guy doesn’t have to put a lot of effort in his messages. His face does all the selling for him. I guess for my friend the old saying of you can laugh a woman into bed is true. I asked him a few days ago over a pint how he does so well in getting meets. He said I know I am not the best looking guy in the world so I let my personality help me a bit. This is what he said to me paraphrased in list form.
1. I realise how important your profile is. I also realise a lot of people when they get your message first read your profile. If they like your profile your message you sent them message gets read if they don’t like your profile the message gets deleted or left unread. First I spent a long time writing my profile. I tried to make it humorous so people can see my sense of fun and see the funny side of me. I wanted them to see I like to have a laugh and don’t take life too seriously. I did my best to let my personality shine through my profile. I also put what I am looking for and what I can offer to women and couples. I put my sexual turn ons and turn offs so people can also see if we are compatible on a this is what we like to do sexually level. I made sure my profile is my profile. I didn’t put a message up on the forums asking people what they think I should put in my profile. To be bit blunt strangers don’t know me and therefore don’t know what I should be putting in my profile. My profile is not going to be liked by everyone. Some people who read it may think my humour is crap. We all laugh at different things. Humour/comedy is subjective. Nobody will ever create a profile that is liked by everyone. Rule number one in Fab club is according to my friend put some effort into your profile. Sell yourself. Why should women or couples meet you? What can you offer that is different to the other thousands of guys on here? What is it about your profile that entices people to reply to your email or god forbid even make the first contact?
2. I have some decent up to date pictures up on my profile. I keep face pics for sending privately. I don’t have any photos of my cock. Women know what a cock looks like. I have never had a meet ask me for a photo of my cock.
3. I never send a one line message. I think one line messages show a lack of respect for the person or couple you are emailing. One line messages are lazy. One line messages don’t sell you. One line messages make me think “How many one line messages have they sent today? 40? 100?”
4. I am not disheartened if somebody says that I am not their type. We can’t all be everybody’s type and nobody is everybody’s type. I never send a why not reply or an abusive reply. I am an adult not child. Sending a why not message is not going to get them to change their mind. Sending an abusive message is definitely not going to get them to change their mind. I never send a thank you for your reply message in case it is seen as a way to carry on emailing. I am an adult I know when no means no. I see a no reply as a no thank you. I don’t think they are rude for not replying.
5. I am one of the rare men who read profiles and don’t just look at the pictures lol. I never play the any hole is a goal game. I only message people I am attracted to and find interesting. I only email people whose criteria I meet. There is no point in me emailing a woman or couple who wants to meet guys 6 foot plus when I am five foot eight. I know swinging is about sex but I also have to like the people I am meeting. Some men choose the people they email solely on the profile pictures. I don’t. Of course I look at pictures. Of course I find a lot of women on Fab sexy. There are some seriously sexy women on fab of all ages. However, for me it has to be more than just about a sexy woman/couple. Their profile also has to grab me. They can be sexy as hell but if their profile doesn’t grab me I will not email them. I also will not do things I am not into just to get a meet. For example, I would not be a woman’s sub just because I find her sexy as the dom sub thing is not for me. If a couple are into watersports I wouldn’t let them piss on me just to get a meet as I am not into watersports. I am not looking for another notch on my bedpost. Each message I send out is unique to the sender. I never send out a generic copy and paste message. Copy and paste messages are very easy to spot, very lazy, and insulting to the person you’re emailing. I also thinks one line messages are insulting and lazy. I always try to make my messages humorous as well as unique. Also try to let my personality shine in my messages. I tell them what I liked about their profile and why I think we would be compatible to get to know each other a little bit more. I never say meet as it is too early doors for me. I want to get to know them a little bit more first before we talk about meeting.
6. I have to like the woman or couple I am meeting and prefer to get to know them online first. It also gives them a chance to get to know me. It gives me another chance to sell me. I sell me by being me and not tying to be somebody I am not. I always give the women and couples I email the respect they deserve. If I email a couple I always remember they are a couple. I never just address the female half. I would never ask the female of a couple to meet me alone unless of course that was their thing and she proved her other half was ok with it. Sometimes you may be physically attracted to somebody face and body wise but as soon as you get to know them and their personality you are quickly turned off them. If a woman thinks she can get by on just her looks alone it puts me off her. I want to meet a woman who has more to offer than just her good looks or sexy body. I have often spoken to a woman or couple for a while online before we have met. As I have said previously I have to like the people I meet. I may not be the best looking guy in the world but that doesn’t mean I can’t have standards, needs, or desires. As well as liking the people I meet I am obviously looking to meet people who are into the same things sexually as me. A profile can only tell you so much about a person. Getting to know people online first really gives you time to get to know each other. It may be once you get to know a person/couple online your attraction increases. It may also be once you get to know them online you would never want to meet them and they put you off them. Getting to know people online hopefully s out the fantasists, single guys pretending to be a couple /woman, people looking for an ego boost, timewasters, weirdoes, psychos, etc.
7. There are a lot of timewasters and fantasists on fab. Lots of women and couples get let down by single guys. I have never done that and never would. Due to me spending time getting to know people, being funny, reliable, honest, genuinely single, and can accommodate I often find my meets turn into ongoing meets. They are not just one off meets. I like that as each meet gets better and better.
Another thing my mate said and I agree with is what we would do if we were a woman or couple on here. If I was a woman or couple on here I would take time getting to know somebody online first. If single guy emails you make him wait. Make him get to know you online first. It also gives you a chance to get to know him. It also gives you a chance to hopefully get rid of the guys who don’t respect you, the any whole is a goal guys, the “Fancy a fuck?” guys, the guys looking for a quick notch on their bedpost, the timewasters, the fantasists, the liars, the married/in a relationship guys, the idiots, the psychopaths, etc. If a guy is not prepared to get to know you as person and show you he doesn’t just see you as a sex object for his cock then why meet him?
I am sure somebody will call me a white knight. So be it lol. Anyway, numbers 1 to 7 are my friend’s words paraphrased not my words.
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