FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Being harassed
Being harassed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc 
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to go to the police. This is harassment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take a deep breath and go to the police
You won't be judged..... they are used to this.....it their job
If it may help....ask if you can speak to a female officer
Good luck |
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By *iss Ash42Woman
over a year ago
somewhere nowhere near you.... |
Went through something on here and went to the police,they take it very serious!dont let someone make you feel this way.
Honestly phone them and explain,i had to tell my folks..not great but the police were in constant contact.
If you need any advice glad to help.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He’s persistent which suggests he won’t stop.
You may need to call his bluff; if he thinks you’ll do nothing he’ll continue. If you don’t want to involve the police could you contact his wife and explain what’s happening?
Otherwise... change your phone number, delete all social media which he could find you on and block everywhere. I suggest you evidence everything just in case the police do need to be involved. They take this behaviour very serious and you should go to them if you feel in anyway threatened or in danger. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take a deep breath and go to the police
You won't be judged..... they are used to this.....it their job
If it may help....ask if you can speak to a female officer
Good luck"
I know I should but it's so hard the female police officer thing seems like a better idea though maybe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He’s persistent which suggests he won’t stop.
You may need to call his bluff; if he thinks you’ll do nothing he’ll continue. If you don’t want to involve the police could you contact his wife and explain what’s happening?
Otherwise... change your phone number, delete all social media which he could find you on and block everywhere. I suggest you evidence everything just in case the police do need to be involved. They take this behaviour very serious and you should go to them if you feel in anyway threatened or in danger. "
No all the online arrangements where done through him. I've searched everywhere online and on social media to find her as pretty sure that she has no idea as he's been suggesting 1 on 1 meets.
It was pretty bloody stupid of me to meet adhoc like that without knowing who or what the hell I was letting myself in for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a deep breath and go to the police
You won't be judged..... they are used to this.....it their job
If it may help....ask if you can speak to a female officer
Correct
Good luck"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh God I feel for you!!....go to the police,I had to and they're very professional and totally understanding (I was stalked by an ex fwb/FB)it was a very frightening and threatening experience which was only stopped when I went to the police about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just tell his wife what he is up too
That should sort him out |
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Due to my job I’ve worked with a lot of ex Police Officers, honestly they won’t judge you. He is trying to force you into a unconsenual sexual act with harassment. Try and phone the non emergency number first, discuss with them and hopefully it will encourage you to take it further. I truly hope this is sorted out for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to go to the police and do not be embarrassed. The police deal with this sort of thing all the time and never name the site. They call it a dating site. They normally go down the malicious communications route. They won't inform your workplace either. Make the call now incase he gets any worse. |
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We had a harrasing ex threatening all kinds of stuff and we went to the police. They honestly didn’t care about us being swingers. They just wanted to help . And they did . No problems since and it gave us confidence to show our selves in full here and not be ashamed .
Ring 101 and speak to them through the non urgent switchboard. The operator will put you through to someone that can help immediately though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He’s persistent which suggests he won’t stop.
You may need to call his bluff; if he thinks you’ll do nothing he’ll continue. If you don’t want to involve the police could you contact his wife and explain what’s happening?
Otherwise... change your phone number, delete all social media which he could find you on and block everywhere. I suggest you evidence everything just in case the police do need to be involved. They take this behaviour very serious and you should go to them if you feel in anyway threatened or in danger.
No all the online arrangements where done through him. I've searched everywhere online and on social media to find her as pretty sure that she has no idea as he's been suggesting 1 on 1 meets.
It was pretty bloody stupid of me to meet adhoc like that without knowing who or what the hell I was letting myself in for."
We trust people and some let us down; this can be strangers or friends and partners. Lesson learnt but now you need to keep yourself safe. That’s all that matters!
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Omg..why are people like that..I really do hope you get it sorted out asap. |
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Get it to the police.
If you don't you'll have to live with the constant threat that if he fades away he may be just biding his time.
They may even ask you to bring him to a second meeting, who knows?
If he turns out to be just an idiot having a perverted idea of fun a brush with the law will shake him.
If he's not that kind of idiot then you def need the police on your side.
Now, apologies for a bit of preaching but when the hell are people on here going to learn the basics of personal info security?
Unless you are a 101% open swinger and your family/work colleagues etc etc know of it what on earth is anyone doing divulging personal info such as workplace etc that can be used by these nasties!
How many of you take your main phone/tablet to meets and never think twice that the other party just might get access to it?
Got a credit card with your name on it?
Any other primary identifying stuff? House keys/car keys (with reg no on the tag). All could hand info to a harasser.
Same when chatting on here. The number of times that "What do you do for a living/what are your hobbies/interests" has been asked of us is legion. We stay vague.
Our profile gives our location as "near Chester", which is true enough for those thinking of chatting/meeting to at least know if we are reasonably local. Even so we still get "where in Chester?". To which the reply is "nr Chester is good enough!".
Please people, think, even when the sex motor is on overdrive!
Keep the thread informed OP, esp if there's anything you can add that might help somebody id this clown. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was you I would go to the Police and report this guy. From what you're saying hes clearly not going to stop. Harassment is a course of conduct on more than two occasions hes causing you harassment alarm and distress. Even more so hes threatening to tell your employers. If you approach the Police they will not judge and will do all they can to help you.
X |
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Op I forgot. Just because he's deleted all his info from the other site doesn't mean he's untraceable.
Get in touch with them, explain the problem, give them whatever you have about him (esp if you have his user name and the dates/times you exchanged messages) and you just might find they have records still held. |
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I think I'm getting old.
Missed the obvious.
Where did your meet with these two take place?
Their place or a hotel?
If a hotel there is every chance of an electronic trail of credit card info. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely get in touch with police. As others have said they deal with stuff similar all the time, they won't make you feel ashamed or anything like that.
Asking for a female police officer also might help. It's very likely they would do that anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe get a man friend to give him a ring , let him know if it dosent completely stop that he will be reporting it to the police ...
he could be reading all these anyway.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for all your responses and PMs. Reassuring to know that the police are likely to be more understanding that I originally thought. I will definitely go to my local station tomorrow, it's not worth the stress anymore. I think I'd always be looking over my shoulder otherwise.
I'm just so angry that A, I got myself into this situation and B, the fact that some sad pathetic little man is getting the better of me like this! I would actually kick his ass face to face!
Thanks again x |
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"Thank you for all your responses and PMs. Reassuring to know that the police are likely to be more understanding that I originally thought. I will definitely go to my local station tomorrow, it's not worth the stress anymore. I think I'd always be looking over my shoulder otherwise
I'm just so angry that A, I got myself into this situation and B, the fact that some sad pathetic little man is getting the better of me like this! I would actually kick his ass face to face!
Thanks again x"
Don't be angry at yourself..in my opinion. You didn't put yourself into that situation as I doubt you thought it would turn out like this..he created the situation and for that..he needs stopping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why not do the 101 thing first , you can ask for a lady ,as already said its a non emergency police/helpline
24 hours ..
maybe you'll be more comfy ringing for a chat first...
can you block on linkdn and anywhere else your being stalked on ....... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I'm getting old.
Missed the obvious.
Where did your meet with these two take place?
Their place or a hotel?
If a hotel there is every chance of an electronic trail of credit card info."
A hotel. I did think about calling them but I know they won't divulge details to me. I know they'd co-operate with the police if asked but I was unsure if the police would even go that far as I assume they have way more extreme levels of harassment to deal with on a daily basis. I read online that unless he's directly threatened me with physical violence then the police are unlikely to do anything other than take a statement from me. But as other posters mentioned, he's probably breaking a few other laws here so fingers crossed x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why not do the 101 thing first , you can ask for a lady ,as already said its a non emergency police/helpline
24 hours ..
maybe you'll be more comfy ringing for a chat first...
can you block on linkdn and anywhere else your being stalked on ......."
 |
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OP as others have said above, you need to take this to the Police. They will not be shocked how you came to know this man. They are trained to deal with such matters.
Deep breath, glass of water by your side, pick up the phone, dial 101.
If you need to talk pm me.
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"Get it to the police.
If you don't you'll have to live with the constant threat that if he fades away he may be just biding his time.
They may even ask you to bring him to a second meeting, who knows?
If he turns out to be just an idiot having a perverted idea of fun a brush with the law will shake him.
If he's not that kind of idiot then you def need the police on your side.
Now, apologies for a bit of preaching but when the hell are people on here going to learn the basics of personal info security?
Unless you are a 101% open swinger and your family/work colleagues etc etc know of it what on earth is anyone doing divulging personal info such as workplace etc that can be used by these nasties!
How many of you take your main phone/tablet to meets and never think twice that the other party just might get access to it?
Got a credit card with your name on it?
Any other primary identifying stuff? House keys/car keys (with reg no on the tag). All could hand info to a harasser.
Same when chatting on here. The number of times that "What do you do for a living/what are your hobbies/interests" has been asked of us is legion. We stay vague.
Our profile gives our location as "near Chester", which is true enough for those thinking of chatting/meeting to at least know if we are reasonably local. Even so we still get "where in Chester?". To which the reply is "nr Chester is good enough!".
Please people, think, even when the sex motor is on overdrive!
Keep the thread informed OP, esp if there's anything you can add that might help somebody id this clown."
I have to agree with giving as little personal info away as possible. We thought we’d covered all bases on our first meet until we all went into the hotel room, we switched the tv on to play music and a welcome message appeared with my full name on! Thankfully the person we met wasn’t a psycho but you never know.
Best of luck OP, telling the police is definitely the way to go, you hear too many horror stories and if he’s becoming obsessed you never know what he’s capable of.
Lou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I'm getting old.
Missed the obvious.
Where did your meet with these two take place?
Their place or a hotel?
If a hotel there is every chance of an electronic trail of credit card info.
A hotel. I did think about calling them but I know they won't divulge details to me. I know they'd co-operate with the police if asked but I was unsure if the police would even go that far as I assume they have way more extreme levels of harassment to deal with on a daily basis. I read online that unless he's directly threatened me with physical violence then the police are unlikely to do anything other than take a statement from me. But as other posters mentioned, he's probably breaking a few other laws here so fingers crossed x"
i would imagine the police will ring him and have a quiet word..
or even trace his address from mobile phone if its not pay as you go .
they will sort it professionally and discreetly with zero embarrassment to you  |
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Call the Palladin National Stalking Helpline. They’ll be able to advise you in confidence. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
Go the Police. They will not care how you met. They know some people are swingers. They won't judge you.
Get the Police involved before he does something stupid. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Have you googled his phone no? I had an issue with a guy and doing that led me to his fb page. A friend sent him a message telling him to back off otherwise **insert name of wife and kids** will find out. It done the trick but it's probably best to go to the police in your case, he does sound quite full on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The police will have heard it all before and be able to give you some good advice. Do think about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
I once had something similarish. I met a woman on here. She was in a sexless marriage. Her husband gave her permission to seek sex elsewhere. She didn't want a string of one off meets. She wanted an ongoing relationship. I wanted that also.
We spent a couple of months getting to know each other via fab email. We then progressed to proper email and talking on Skype.
We than had a social meet and she took me home to meet her husband to prove he was ok with it. He wanted to meet me and check me out. He seemed a nice guy and did say to me he was ok with our relationship.
He was ok with it for about 6 months. The he started getting jealous. Abusive texts started. Then threatening texts started. He threatened to find out where I worked and tell them, threatened to come around and best me up as he knew where I lived etc. Due to all this his wife ended our relationship hoping he would stop. Despite that he carried on. In the end I texted him and said this stops now or I go the police. I told him I had saved all his nasty text messages. Luckily for me he saw sense and stopped.
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Stalking is a now a prison offence if proved .. |
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"I think I'm getting old.
Missed the obvious.
Where did your meet with these two take place?
Their place or a hotel?
If a hotel there is every chance of an electronic trail of credit card info.
A hotel. I did think about calling them but I know they won't divulge details to me. I know they'd co-operate with the police if asked but I was unsure if the police would even go that far as I assume they have way more extreme levels of harassment to deal with on a daily basis. I read online that unless he's directly threatened me with physical violence then the police are unlikely to do anything other than take a statement from me. But as other posters mentioned, he's probably breaking a few other laws here so fingers crossed x"
Whilst the police may be unable to spare the manpower to track him via the hotel once you've contacted them you will have a police contact name to enable you to call if you think of anything new.
Armed with that name there is nothing to stop you contacting the hotel, telling them you understand they cannot divulge info to you but ask them to pass it directly to your police contact. Well worth a try. |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
I'd call the police. You won't be judged. |
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
Arrange to meet him and have 4 burly guys explain the error of his ways.
Option b, strip him naked and drop him off in the middle of the highlands |
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"Take a deep breath and go to the police
You won't be judged..... they are used to this.....it their job
If it may help....ask if you can speak to a female officer
Good luck
I know I should but it's so hard the female police officer thing seems like a better idea though maybe "
If you have a close friend take them with you for support |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get the police out to him.
I had a weird female stalker experience a few years ago. Very unnerving. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
Yes I have. I can’t message you. Message me if you want to. I don’t want to go into it here x |
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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Go to the police, we had something similar, but not quite as serious wlhen we first started on here. Threatened to out us to our friends - even managed to get our social media profiles - anyway they did not judge, and to echo everyone else took it seriously - you may not need to tell anyone as the police are becoming more used to dealing with these situations and are getting much more sensitive as well - we do hope you get it sorted xx l&p |
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Go to the police - I have helped victims of sexual abuse and harassment and the police won’t judge at all.
They even have specialist officers who can help |
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Type his mobile Number into Facebook or Twitter. If he has registered his number, he should pop up and you can find his name and go to the police.  |
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
So sorry this is happening to you but seriously the police are much better than they used to be, they know stalking is an indicator of a potential to escalate.
Polaris are an anti stalking charity, and victim support can also help. He clearly has issues which suggest he is a danger, contacting the police is the best option
Ms Icebreaker |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"I think I'm getting old.
Missed the obvious.
Where did your meet with these two take place?
Their place or a hotel?
If a hotel there is every chance of an electronic trail of credit card info.
A hotel. I did think about calling them but I know they won't divulge details to me. I know they'd co-operate with the police if asked but I was unsure if the police would even go that far as I assume they have way more extreme levels of harassment to deal with on a daily basis. I read online that unless he's directly threatened me with physical violence then the police are unlikely to do anything other than take a statement from me. But as other posters mentioned, he's probably breaking a few other laws here so fingers crossed x
Whilst the police may be unable to spare the manpower to track him via the hotel once you've contacted them you will have a police contact name to enable you to call if you think of anything new.
Armed with that name there is nothing to stop you contacting the hotel, telling them you understand they cannot divulge info to you but ask them to pass it directly to your police contact. Well worth a try."
As an experienced Hotel manager with specialist Front of House expertise, I can advise fully on what the hotel CAN and CANNOT do.
Even before the introduction of Data Protection Laws, Hotels, Inns with rooms, in fact any establishment offering room accommodation, cannot divulge any personal details of any guests to anyone.
Even the Police cannot ask for details UNLESS they are investigating & following up on a reported crime.
If the OP was to ring the hotel, asking them to pass on details of the individual male guest including his card details etc, to the Police, the hotel should rightly refuse to do so; it's illegal and the hotel could face serious criminal charges.
Even when I'm processing CC charges at work, I'm governed by hotel laws not to flout the many rules surrounding CC processes.
OP. Take this matter to the Police; only they as part of an investigation, can source any likely info from any hotel.
Good Luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Save any txt he sends u and txt u send back saying no and thretoning to get police . Then go to police or contact ur phone provider and ask them to trace his number and block it on ur phone |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Save any txt he sends u and txt u send back saying no and thretoning to get police . Then go to police or contact ur phone provider and ask them to trace his number and block it on ur phone"
Fine in theory, but if he changes and uses a different phone from before, the situation is back to where it was. |
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Had it with harrasment from an ex with photos, the police were non judgemental, jumped on it and she was scared off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of this advice about tracing his number, speaking to the hotel etc etc is completely unnecessary. You are not responsible for investigating it and bringing all of the details to the police. They have access to far more resources than you do and the chances are that they will be able to identify and trace him in minutes.
As has already been said, report it to the police, who will be completely non-judegemental. He is committing the crime, not you. You have done nothing illegal. You can report it via 101 and wouldn't need to mention the circumstances of how you met, just saying that you met casually via a web site and leave the detail to the subsequent meeting with the police officer. Alternatively, you could go to your local police station and report it at the front desk without giving too much detail and say that you would prefer to provide the detail in a private room with a police officer.
The chances are that the police would identify him very quickly, pay him a vist and issue him with a harassment warning notice, making it clear to him that if he does not stop, he will be committing an offence and liable for arrest. You never know, your reporting it may prevent him doing something to someone else.
Hope this helps and good luck. |
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What a horrible experience for the OP. I hope this a-hole gets his just desserts. Definitely don't let it slide, for the good of the next person he may try to latch into. This person needs to learn about 'Not OK'. Definitely get the police involved. |
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By *ayS2Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
The best course of action would be involve the police and learn in future that sharing private information is knowledge to some warped people.
Or invite them again to play, muster up some fellow willing attendees and ambush them, offering some friendly yet firm advice, leaving them in no uncertain terms that their course of action is not a sensible option.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Change your mobile number, it must be linked to LinkedIn. I am assuming they/he doesnt know your address? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
Only option is to go to the police. Don't wait for something to happen |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"All of this advice about tracing his number, speaking to the hotel etc etc is completely unnecessary. You are not responsible for investigating it and bringing all of the details to the police. They have access to far more resources than you do and the chances are that they will be able to identify and trace him in minutes.
As has already been said, report it to the police, who will be completely non-judegemental. He is committing the crime, not you. You have done nothing illegal. You can report it via 101 and wouldn't need to mention the circumstances of how you met, just saying that you met casually via a web site and leave the detail to the subsequent meeting with the police officer. Alternatively, you could go to your local police station and report it at the front desk without giving too much detail and say that you would prefer to provide the detail in a private room with a police officer.
The chances are that the police would identify him very quickly, pay him a vist and issue him with a harassment warning notice, making it clear to him that if he does not stop, he will be committing an offence and liable for arrest. You never know, your reporting it may prevent him doing something to someone else.
Hope this helps and good luck."
Spot on. Good luck OP, what a horrible situation. |
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He sounds seriously unhinged. Calling the police is your best option. Your safety and we'll being are paramount. If he's threatening to tell your work about your private life unless you give in to his demands that's illegal and another reason to call the police.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Originally replied about this under the Pyschopath post but probably better in here as I could do with some advice from anyone who has maybe experienced the same.
I met a couple in Glasgow via another site when I was travelling with work a couple of months ago.
Long story short the guy has been harassing me with abusive texts because I declined a second meet with them. He's gone from begging to threatening to tell my work what I've been up to if I don't give in (I stupidly told them where I worked although they didn't know my surname).
I ignored and blocked him then he started it again from a new number, this time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking it was me and putting his hands around her neck and squeezing etc
At this point I threaten him with the police. He changes his tune and says it's all just banter and when I was having none of it he then started saying that he's got a problem and he's going to have to kill himself if his family find out.
I ignore and block again calling his bluff, even though I'm petrifued!, but today I got a friend's request from him on LinkedIn, clearly under a fake profile as it doesn't have enough info for me to be able to identify him. No messages just a friends request! No idea how he found me but it's obviously his way of him telling me that he knows who I am now and it's really freaking me out!
I know I should go to the police but it's really hard to say to someone 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy wants more'. I know it's more serious than that but I just feel like I'm going to be judged and laughed at. Esp with all the victim shaming these days.
All I have is his first name, mobile numbers and a shady LinkedIn profile. He's deleted all their details from the original site too so I'm unsure if anything can even be done with the limited info I have "
Go to the police.
Everyone else, learn from this experience. Never give your phone number; it can link you to Facebook and LinkedIn - Kik is better than WhatsApp, for that reason. Don’t tell people where you live, or work, meet in a neutral, safe location, etc. Use common sense. And if all else fails, use the police, or other appropriate service. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, sorry for the delayed update - been a crazy few days.
So it's now with the police (they were lovely) who have confirmed that they are aware who and where he is. They were due to be speaking directly with him today but they haven't updated me on the outcome of that yet, although I expect to receive one soon.
Feel much safer now just knowing that the police are involved.
Thanks again all for all your help and kind words in this forum & in my inbox. It's crazy how common this is! it's definitely changed my outlook on a few things x |
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