FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No responses to messages

No responses to messages

By *ob1262 OP Man over a year ago

newmarket

Why is it that people can’t even be bothered to send a polite message back saying no thanks or not what we are looking for ? I always send a polite first message saying a little about myself offering pictures and I always only send messages to profiles that are compatible rather than those that you have no chance with. I understand people get loads of messages and it can be a pain but when you can see they have been read and then nothing I think is just rude I see so many complaints of sending rude messages and cock pictures yet when you respond as asked still nothing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because we get hundreds

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By *ade and VanessaCouple over a year ago

Central Scotland

FAQs do say that no reply should be taken as a polite no thanks.

From experience, taking the time to send an actual no thanks will often end in some kind of abusive response from the original sender.

Just because you've read a profile and you think you match what they're looking for, it doesn't mean they think the same from what you've written in your message or profile or that they're going to like what they see in your pictures.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because we dont have to, noone asked you to message them do you reply to all the spam messages you get through your letterbox??

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By *ob1262 OP Man over a year ago

newmarket

I understand about getting loads of messages and also about not being compatible but I see so many complaints about rude or pasted messages it’s just frustrating when you take the trouble every time to write an individual message to get no response at all even if it’s a no !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I understand about getting loads of messages and also about not being compatible but I see so many complaints about rude or pasted messages it’s just frustrating when you take the trouble every time to write an individual message to get no response at all even if it’s a no ! "

Would " no thanks" msgs make you feel better?

How?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Don't take it personally, OP. Assume it's a no and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised.

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By *ob1262 OP Man over a year ago

newmarket

I also get you don’t have to and you don’t ask for everyone to respond was only saying see so many moans on here and when someone try to do it the right way still same result ! Wish I had never started this lol

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's OK, it happens a lot.

From my perspective, I never know if a polite refusal will result in abuse or threats. (or whining or negotiating) You may not be the type, but I don't know that from just another message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Problem is the time it takes to reply. Then the message back asking why or the abusive one saying to were to fat for me anyway

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By *ittlesub4uWoman over a year ago

Manchester

I get more nasty messages when I reply saying I’m not interested than I do for just not replying. A lot of people on here seem to struggle with rejection...

I know someone mentioned it earlier but here’s the full response from fab’s FAQs:

It's not rude not to reply.

Some women and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

All the best x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't take it personally. It is what it is. If you're a guy on a dating website you need to send say thirty well written emails and have a great profile to get say ten replies. If you're a woman you open the account and get a hundred emails in an hour.

I would imagine that couples here get lots from single men if they haven't blocked them in their settings.

Even getting tens of messages is dispiriting when you don't feel like replying to every one.

I would suggest you write a very good individual email to make you stand out from the spam, and have a very well written profile.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Why is it that people can’t even be bothered to send a polite message back saying no thanks or not what we are looking for ? I always send a polite first message saying a little about myself offering pictures and I always only send messages to profiles that are compatible rather than those that you have no chance with. I understand people get loads of messages and it can be a pain but when you can see they have been read and then nothing I think is just rude I see so many complaints of sending rude messages and cock pictures yet when you respond as asked still nothing "

How would visitors to your (current) profile decide if they were attracted to you or not?

Best advice I ever saw, delete your sent mesages the second they're gone. You'll never look at them in forlorn anguish and despair again.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The majority of times we say no thanks, we get abuse back so now very rarely reply unless we interested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No reply is so so much better for the ego....why would anyone want an inbox full of formally written rejection notices?

I don't get this fascination with needing to see point blank rejection staring at you in black and white

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You could out in your profile that a polite rejection is apriciated over a no response. Don't know if it will make a blind bit of difference.

I do respond to all messages we get even if it's a no from us. We are here just as much to get to know new people as we are swinging.

I don't tend to get any abuse when I respond but we do block single guys as we just got way to many messages and lack of understanding that we only meet in clubs. Single female and couples do seem to be more graceful with rejection from my own experiences.

Eski

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By *mber DextrousWoman over a year ago

Devon

"You could out in your profile that a polite rejection is apriciated over a no response. Don't know if it will make a blind bit of difference"

Don't do that, it just makes you look entitled and like you either can't be bothered to read FAQs or don't think they apply to you.

I try and reply to messages that show an ounce of effort but even the time it takes aside the problem is that if you put filters on later anyone you've swapped messages with bypasses them. Then there is the fact a polite no is more often a trigger for abuse than no reply at all.

Best advice is either delete or don't look at your sent messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We just ask that you delete the message as that what we do. Sometimes one half of the couple may fancy the couple and the other one not so keen. We normally respond if there has been a photo exchange.

We never get precious about rejection. We always thank them for their time and wish them best. We know we don’t have to but it’s something we like to do

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By *nvercoupleCouple over a year ago

Inverness

I reply to the mails that deserve a reply.

And for the record "I want to fuck you" does not deserve a reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In reality the men out number the Ladies be a lot to say the least and might sound harsh some guy can try as much as they want and will never get a meet.I have been lucky and last time i was on met a lovely Couple but i am not really tried this time as quite happy just chatting in the forums.

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple over a year ago

chester

Because all couples get inundated with messages and quite often replying, even to an originally polite message, starts a ping pong game of "why not?" followed by escalating childish abuse.

We for instance have a very clear no Bi or Bi-curious line on our profile.

Either they are all unable to read or they figure nothing ventured as it might as well not be there considering the number of them that message and some of them are very polite.

It's one of the reasons many fabbers would like an active "No thank you" button.

Oh and many messengers turn out to have ZERO pics in their public profile, even if they've sent a polite message. Zero pics means zero reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not rude if you don't reply.

Women and couples get many emails per day. If they replied to every email they got they would spend an hour or two each day just replying no thanks.

No reply = no thanks. Would getting an email saying no thanks make you feel any better? Either way you are not for them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No reply is so so much better for the ego....why would anyone want an inbox full of formally written rejection notices?

I don't get this fascination with needing to see point blank rejection staring at you in black and white

I also don't get

Who wants a load of email messages in your inbox syaing no thanks? I know I don't.

If somebody is no interested in me I much prefer to not get an email. I realise no reply = no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because all couples get inundated with messages and quite often replying, even to an originally polite message, starts a ping pong game of "why not?" followed by escalating childish abuse.

We for instance have a very clear no Bi or Bi-curious line on our profile.

Either they are all unable to read or they figure nothing ventured as it might as well not be there considering the number of them that message and some of them are very polite.

It's one of the reasons many fabbers would like an active "No thank you" button.

Oh and many messengers turn out to have ZERO pics in their public profile, even if they've sent a polite message. Zero pics means zero reply."

Fab used to have a no thanks button. People complained it was impersonal and it only takes a minute to type no thanks.

You can't win lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

same as ringing the doctors and not being able to get an appointment ... try another one

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Here you go OP, try reading this lot, it will tell you why.

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum-search/No%2breply

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By *inkycreamCouple over a year ago

manchester

Pick something out of the profile before sending, stand out don’t copy and paste, hard work but fingers crossed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People just don’t know how to take hints anymore....

Op would you like a inbox full of “ Ugh I would never shag a minger like you “ messages?

Would that make you feel better?

Sometimes the unknown is better.....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"No reply is so so much better for the ego....why would anyone want an inbox full of formally written rejection notices?

I don't get this fascination with needing to see point blank rejection staring at you in black and white

"
Exactly, just fuck em when you meet them in the club. That's what I have done on a few occasions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh and many messengers turn out to have ZERO pics in their public profile, even if they've sent a polite message. Zero pics means zero reply."

We just noticed that message filters allow you to filter out messages from people with no public photos. Another thorn in the side dealt with.

We personally prefer to get a 'thanks but no thanks' message specially when we replied to a wink with an email (another of our hates -

why wink us and get us to write an email and then not reply?) But after reading this we can see why some people just don't reply. We had an instance yesterday where a polite 'no thanks' from us turned into a 'why not' followed by us getting blocked.. and this from a person who contacted us.. So I can fully appreciate why some people just don't reply now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get a tonne of messages and can't always get through them all. Men don't get that !

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Would " no thanks" msgs make you feel better?

How?"

‘No thanks’ means they have read your message, and not interested, so you can block them and move on. Now your local search results are one profile less to scroll through

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I reply if I want to, not dependant on having 100s or 0 messages to read and respond to. It was your prerogative to message me, and it's my prerogative to reply.

If someone has a sense of entitlement for basic messages (and men should think about how that looks in a sexist world where women die for rejecting men), then what else is on that spectrum? Do you also expect women to have sex with you when you want?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Once a reply has been sent that individual will be exempt from any filters used in the future so it makes no sense to reply to everyone or the filters would be useless.

Also I like to put my time and energy into the people I think may be compatible not those who aren’t.

As others have said a reply usually generates a further message from them, whether it be abusive, asking why or simply thanking you for a reply, I have too many to read already without getting more replying to my replies

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By *inkywife1981Couple over a year ago

A town near you

We get so much mail and if we see no public pics we delete without reply.

We prefer guys to be direct, hi this is me, this is what I'm seeking and im play verified.

Hi, how's your day etc are not gonna cut it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got 363 unopened messages.

I didn't have a meet posted or say I was looking so there is no need for me to open them

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By *revaunanceCouple over a year ago

Exeter

"Why is it that people can’t even be bothered to send a polite message back saying no thanks or not what we are looking for ?"

Hello OP, your question is often asked and you have had a lot of informative replies already.

One reason that doesn't seem to have been mentioned is that by replying you open yourself up to further unwanted messages in future. If you look at the message filters section it does state at the bottom of the page 'Filters don't apply and people can message if you've mailed someone before (if you message someone you have filtered, they can reply), you have winked at someone, or you are friends'.

So what? Well in the nicest possible way, you are somewhat older than our upper age limit and we would not be looking to meet with you. But hypothetically if you were to send us a message and we replied with a simple 'No thank you' it wouldn't matter what filters we apply to future messages you would still be able to message us; even if we blocked men from contacting us! This would continue to waste your time and ours.

The only other option would be to physically block your profile, but blocking profiles has it's own limitations, for example you would not be able to message us again or look at our profile, but we could interact on the forum. Additionally, as we receive hundreds of messages a week, and you can only have five hundred people on your block list it would not be effective for long.

For us, it is far easier to delete the message in the hope that the act of deleting sends it's own message of 'no thanks' and that in our opinion should be sufficient enough for anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of times we say no thanks, we get abuse back so now very rarely reply unless we interested.

Yes that's true. I used to reply every time but got so much rudeness and arguing that I've had to stop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of times we say no thanks, we get abuse back so now very rarely reply unless we interested.

Yes that's true. I used to reply every time but got so much rudeness and arguing that I've had to stop"

that's exactly my experience. If it's a well constructed message and I've looked at the profile and I'm just not interested then I'm likely to say thanks but no thanks.

but when I get message after message that just says 'hi' or "meet now" I tend to just delete and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mainly because that's never enough and they respond with why or they can offer this that or the other.

I specify I'm not looking due single men in my profile. I still get messages from single guys.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mainly because that's never enough and they respond with why or they can offer this that or the other.

I specify I'm not looking due single men in my profile. I still get messages from single guys. "

*for

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Not aimed at the OP but single guys in general on here.

Firstly because of the number of messages. We have now managed to reduce the numbers we get but it is still a lot.

Secondly (and this applies to around 75% of what we get) people (mostly single guys) who just can't be bothered to READ THE FUCKING PROFILE!

We really don't give a flying fuck how polite your message is or how nice your pics are. If you haven't bothered to READ THE FUCKING PROFILE then we have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever.

So you will certainly be blanked and in all probability blocked as well.

Clear guys?

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"No reply is so so much better for the ego....why would anyone want an inbox full of formally written rejection notices?

I don't get this fascination with needing to see point blank rejection staring at you in black and white

Not I.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Because all couples get inundated with messages and quite often replying, even to an originally polite message, starts a ping pong game of "why not?" followed by escalating childish abuse.

We for instance have a very clear no Bi or Bi-curious line on our profile.

Either they are all unable to read or they figure nothing ventured as it might as well not be there considering the number of them that message and some of them are very polite.

It's one of the reasons many fabbers would like an active "No thank you" button.

Oh and many messengers turn out to have ZERO pics in their public profile, even if they've sent a polite message. Zero pics means zero reply."

Fab had a "no thank you" button, but got rid of it, why? Because of the forums being full of "precious cunts sending automated no thanks replies after I spent a second on a personalised message" type threads.

The sooner people dropped the sense of entitlement and accept that the happier they'd be.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"No reply is so so much better for the ego....why would anyone want an inbox full of formally written rejection notices?

I don't get this fascination with needing to see point blank rejection staring at you in black and white

Not* I.

*Nor

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How can they tell you're compatible, no profile or public pics. You could send us war and peace, you wouldn't get a reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because all couples get inundated with messages and quite often replying, even to an originally polite message, starts a ping pong game of "why not?" followed by escalating childish abuse.

We for instance have a very clear no Bi or Bi-curious line on our profile.

Either they are all unable to read or they figure nothing ventured as it might as well not be there considering the number of them that message and some of them are very polite.

It's one of the reasons many fabbers would like an active "No thank you" button.

Oh and many messengers turn out to have ZERO pics in their public profile, even if they've sent a polite message. Zero pics means zero reply.

Fab used to have a no thanks button. People complained it was impersonal and it only takes a minute to type no thanks.

You can't win lol. "

No it didn't, well not in the last 8 years anyway.

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By *tace 309TV/TS over a year ago

durham

"I get a tonne of messages and can't always get through them all. Men don't get that !"
spot on

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman over a year ago

Swansea

"I get more nasty messages when I reply saying I’m not interested than I do for just not replying. A lot of people on here seem to struggle with rejection...

I know someone mentioned it earlier but here’s the full response from fab’s FAQs:

It's not rude not to reply.

All the best x"

This or the long conversation then, "but why don't you want to meet me" or, "give me a chance, let's have a social".

It never ends, I've actually told people they're not what I'm looking for and they've continued to still message me, blocked and they make new accounts "incase I change my mind".

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By *ain n MableWoman over a year ago

Milton Keynes

We state on our profile that if we are not interested then please take a no reply as a no thanks.

It also says if we want a single guy then WE will find them.

Might as well talk to a brick wall tbh, as soon as we open our filters the bombardment starts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

No profile pic is one reason and you really shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, think about all the junk mail though the post you get would you want to reply to all that day in day out.

I know it doesn't feel right mate and the rejection at times hurt, the best thing to do is to go to clubs and socials and don't hide behind sites like this for your needs you will never meet people using a laptop and a web site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy"

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here is the official site response to your question OP, as taken from the site FAQ's

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general."

Unfortunately the online world lives by different rules unlike the real world. We can be bitch nasty and rude and hide behind the terms and conditions or the rules when we face something we can't deal with and we run and hide or block and ignore.

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By *eglover82Man over a year ago

great yarmouth

I have been messaging a couple: they are sending me message.i am replying but my message show as unread and the couple is not getting them

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By *lice AgainTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

I used to reply to every message I received.

However, I finally got fed up of this when I put a list of 'no-reply' things in my profile.

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By *revaunanceCouple over a year ago

Exeter

"I have been messaging a couple: they are sending me message.i am replying but my message show as unread and the couple is not getting them "

Contact admin.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I have been messaging a couple: they are sending me message.i am replying but my message show as unread and the couple is not getting them "

How do you know the couple is not getting them ?

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By *utsidenakedMan over a year ago

Dorchester

No reply is better than a few ones I received with vile and offensive reply's and when you want to say why, then your instantly blocked for sending a nice message, now that's weird!

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS over a year ago

Cornwall

Simple.. don't send any, just wait for people interested to message you ...sorted ...innit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been messaging a couple: they are sending me message.i am replying but my message show as unread and the couple is not getting them "

Thibk you'll find you've been messaging a single guy.

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By *corcherMan over a year ago

Loughborough

It can feel frustrating. You want to know why they're not interested. But really it's tough luck. I never expect a reply these days. It's not rude here, it's a different etiquette than real life.

As for abuse, why? You gonna make someone change their mind by being rude. Just don't get it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because most messages are from people who havent read the profile and don't meet the requirements so don't deserve a reply.

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By *urhamjayMan over a year ago

Durham

V x"

Good explanation.

People invest time in messaging a lot and get frustrated when it leads nowhere. It does feel like time wasted. That's no excuse for abusive behaviour.

I think people need to accept that the time invested may come to nothing and that no meetings does not reflect badly on them as a person.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Simplez dont send any messages, that way there wont be any to reply back to. That'll teach em

plus you wont be disappointed

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By *j48Man over a year ago

Wigan

If someone is interested they'll reply...

Works for me

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general."

So to be polite I take that you reply to every piece of junk mail that drops through your letterbox then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general.

So to be polite I take that you reply to every piece of junk mail that drops through your letterbox then.

No I don't because spam is computer generated and put out to the masses.

You are comparing real, genuine people with an actual interest in you (I don't mean the people who are just after a quick shag) who take the time to construct a message to get to know you, to an automated process that has no real target audience. It is not a fair, nor respectable comparison.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because we get hundreds"

Do really get hundreds. We are pretty active on here and get around one or 2 message a day on average. Around 10 if we post a new pic ..

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general.

So to be polite I take that you reply to every piece of junk mail that drops through your letterbox then.

No I don't because spam is computer generated and put out to the masses.

Not really genuine people when the vast majority that we get haven't even bothered to read our profile. To us they are exactly the same as spam.

Someone who puts together a decent message and has read enough of the profile to actually know where we are and where we only like to meet will get a reply, and more than likely a meet.

However a meet is only a meet so we don't care if it's George Clooney's better looking twin or Jabba the Hut's uglier brother. The former will probably get a fuck, the latter will still get a conversation.

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By *urhamjayMan over a year ago

Durham

Another problem is that some profiles make conversation quite a challenge.

"I'm a woman seeking men"

Where do you go from there?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Can you respond to every post on here please OP?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you read the number of threads similar to this you will see that a number of people on here are not nice once they get a no.

A number of our friends and ourselves have had an abusive message back after saying sorry not for us.

After a while you just feel it's easier to just delete.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general.

So to be polite I take that you reply to every piece of junk mail that drops through your letterbox then.

No I don't because spam is computer generated and put out to the masses.

Is your criticism of those after a quick shag a fair or respectable comparison?

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By *onnie and JohnCouple over a year ago

andover

"Don't take it personally, OP. Assume it's a no and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. "

This is just what we do, OP spend your time looking at your inbox. ccj

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Another problem is that some profiles make conversation quite a challenge.

"I'm a woman seeking men"

Where do you go from there?"

To be honest that sort of post is pretty easy to start a conversation from. And of course you don't have to message them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've never understood why a "no thanks" is somehow better than a no reply. The outcome is still exactly the same. Yes it's nicer than being ignored but the expectation of a reply just seems needy

For me it's just sociable. While not a simple comparison but if you had spoken to somebody in person and they ignored you I can bet the majority of people would be up in arms of being treated like.

I'm not somebody who needs a reply, I won't lose any sleep over it but it is just simply polite. I understand why most don't send a reply at all and is a fair reason, it is the nature of the beast.

The outcome is the same yes but for me the problem is (and that's just the Internet) a lot of people are just so rude and unsociable to others in general.

So to be polite I take that you reply to every piece of junk mail that drops through your letterbox then.

No I don't because spam is computer generated and put out to the masses.

Is your criticism of those after a quick shag a fair or respectable comparison?"

Fair point. I worded it incorrectly, and unfairly. My intention was more directed at those who make zero effort, with the copy and paste generic messages that get mass used on every person they view in the hopes that they will get lucky.

To me that is junk mail.

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By *oan of DArcCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

If it's any consolation the same often happens to us when we contact men who have all the qualities we're looking for.

Inevitably theyve developed an original approach to this lifestyle and create their profile accordingly which is reflected in their success here.

Consequently the exceptional individuals can pick & choose who they meet and I'd say we only receive replies from 25% of the guys who excite our interest and we've taken the time to send a bespoke message to, but that's absolutely fine, not receiving responses is an occupational hazard that we fully accept in order to improve our chances of finding the men we want to meet.

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By *eetmyfootTV/TS over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I have a lot of unread messages every day and it is impossible to answer all of them at once. My problem here is when some (men) become very angry when I don't answer them on time. Perhaps it is the fetish aspect which is not so common in the outside world and they become very pushy for this (this is my explanation). But the problem is when the same person sends one message after the other and then they become very insulting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a lot of unread messages every day and it is impossible to answer all of them at once. My problem here is when some (men) become very angry when I don't answer them on time. Perhaps it is the fetish aspect which is not so common in the outside world and they become very pushy for this (this is my explanation). But the problem is when the same person sends one message after the other and then they become very insulting. "

Indeed. Regardless of what I or others may feel about not getting a reply in the first place. This is not right nor acceptable in any way at all. It is on a whole other level of disrespectful and hate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The one makes me laugh is lady seeking real mad as opposed to what a lego one

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By *erts86Man over a year ago

Welwyn Garden City

The first thing you MUST DO is upload pictures.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I also get you don’t have to and you don’t ask for everyone to respond was only saying see so many moans on here and when someone try to do it the right way still same result ! Wish I had never started this lol "

With no pictures in your public gallery, what do you really expect? It's a competative market on here. What do you think someone is going to gravitate towards? A full profile with good pics and text, or one that is a shadow profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Many many ppl on here don't reply just a delete and sometimes even a block when you have been polite.

To many attention seeking wanting there egos stroked ppl on here quite funny n sad really.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always put at end of my message, if your not interested just delete this message. And guess what 8 out 10 don't delete the message

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By *ara MTV/TS over a year ago

Aberdare

How would visitors to your (current) profile decide if they were attracted to you or not?

Best advice I ever saw, delete your sent mesages the second they're gone. You'll never look at them in forlorn anguish and despair again....."

This was the best advice I’ve gotten since joining.

I’ve stopped stressing over rejection or self destructively checking if someone has read then deleted my message.

Fire and forget, a response is then a delicious surprise.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I always put at end of my message, if your not interested just delete this message. And guess what 8 out 10 don't delete the message"

Because deleting a message takes time. Easier just to ignore it.

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By *wazuluMan over a year ago

edinburgh

Simply supply and demand.

I'm loving this site, wish I had been told about it earlier!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Delete button is under the message when you read it, so you ignore it so sender then thinks you could be interested? don't take 5 seconds to use it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Replying in any form negatively gets you nowhere some get abusive some ignore and pester and even more plead or ask why not. Best just to delete and move on you get less abuse that way.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"Replying in any form negatively gets you nowhere some get abusive some ignore and pester and even more plead or ask why not. Best just to delete and move on you get less abuse that way. "

Pleading? Surly not, thats never an attractive quality.

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By *arah_kieran_ukCouple over a year ago

Greater London

"Replying in any form negatively gets you nowhere some get abusive some ignore and pester and even more plead or ask why not. Best just to delete and move on you get less abuse that way. "

We do try at times to reply to the polite messages but like above sometimes it can just encourage more messages which wastes their time and ours unfortunately xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because people's attitudes have changed so much over the years. It's everyone for themselves now days. Politeness, kindness and compassion went out of the window long ago. People will only reply or acknowledge you if there is something in it for them.....Shame isn't it.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because people's attitudes have changed so much over the years. It's everyone for themselves now days. Politeness, kindness and compassion went out of the window long ago. People will only reply or acknowledge you if there is something in it for them.....Shame isn't it."

I'm quite compassionate, thank you. But my body isn't a charity and I don't volunteer to take abuse. Sorry that doesn't work for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm quite compassionate, thank you. But my body isn't a charity and I don't volunteer to take abuse. Sorry that doesn't work for you. "

Erm, I wasn't saying that you have to jump into bed with everyone who messages you. I was merely commenting on the fact that people don't acknowledge the fact you have gone to the effort to converse with you. That's all.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm quite compassionate, thank you. But my body isn't a charity and I don't volunteer to take abuse. Sorry that doesn't work for you.

I take time and effort with every message I get. With most messages that effort will never be seen because they aren't what I'm looking for and/or haven't made the effort to engage me appropriately.

To claim anything on the basis of inbox management is unreasonable. I do what I can to allow myself to have a life outside Fab and avoid abuse as much as possible. If I applied my compassion here I'd be eaten alive.

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By *ngelina4uWoman over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"Replying in any form negatively gets you nowhere some get abusive some ignore and pester and even more plead or ask why not. Best just to delete and move on you get less abuse that way.

Pleading? Surly not, thats never an attractive quality. "

Some guys do plead even to some of us not so beautiful ones too it just makes you feel uncomfortable when they do.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Replying in any form negatively gets you nowhere some get abusive some ignore and pester and even more plead or ask why not. Best just to delete and move on you get less abuse that way.

Pleading? Surly not, thats never an attractive quality.

Some guys do plead even to some of us not so beautiful ones too it just makes you feel uncomfortable when they do."

Oh god yes. It's incredibly manipulative. Or sometimes very sad, but I can't tell the difference and I can't sort out other people's problems here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Replying to hundreds of messages with a "no thanks" isn't really plausible. Neither is trawling through every single message in the hope that someone has read your profile AND taken notice enough to be even remotely close to what you're looking for.

My advice, send your message then delete it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This may apply to some, but I can assure you definitely does not apply to all. I once thought the same. As I have said many times in other threads being polite and having manners is a huge deal for me. However due to the way things work here there are a few good reasons why it just does not work out that well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm quite compassionate, thank you. But my body isn't a charity and I don't volunteer to take abuse. Sorry that doesn't work for you.

I take time and effort with every message I get. With most messages that effort will never be seen because they aren't what I'm looking for and/or haven't made the effort to engage me appropriately.

Fair comment, and I appreciate what you are saying. People's attitudes tend to differ online than they do in reality.

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By *dam and slutCouple over a year ago

Manchester

Anglican Windows wrote a nicely worded letter just for you, they knew you were compatible 'cos you have Windows right ?

Yet you haven't responded, their letter included pictures .....

Anyway they even have you a phone number to make it easy for you ....

Ok you did ring and told Sandra in sales "Thanks but no thanks" but then they had your number and the sales team kept ringing to ask "why, why, for the love of God please tell us why you don't want triple glazing ?"

So you tell them "Well I already have safestyle and your Windows are bareback I want protection".

Sandra tells you their windows provide protection and that they just puts bareback in the brochure to sort out those who are really serious.

So you tell Sandra you can't deal with a company that lies and suddenly Sandra turns into Gordon Ramsay ripping you a new one....

How your house is too far and ugly for their windows

How you can't afford their windows 'cos your too cheap

And then (cos they're too cheap to subscribe they send another letter next week exactly the same as the last one).....

Repeat....forever

Just replying to threads titled "no response to my messages" is hard work and breath.

xslutx

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Anglican Windows wrote a nicely worded letter just for you, they knew you were compatible 'cos you have Windows right ? "

I know someone who's only just computer literate, who thinks email offers are just for her. They've got her name on them and everything!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am having the same trouble getting no replies and.the ones I have got are just saying no thank you

I don't know if it's my.profile.Or I am just to ugly but as.a single man its hard to get any action

Any tips would be great

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I am having the same trouble getting no replies and.the ones I have got are just saying no thank you

I don't know if it's my.profile.Or I am just to ugly but as.a single man its hard to get any action

Any tips would be great "

Just back up through this thread. There's plenty of good advice.

Or search the forums for "advice".

Doesn't really matter what advice thread you read, the advice is pretty consistent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can't win.

No thanks can lead to abuse.

Site faqs say no reply means no thanks x x

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