FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Reasonable to ask for photos together?
Reasonable to ask for photos together?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wanted a wider community view on this.
We've had a number of people contact us who never could provide a photo of themselves together (just a selfie) but had a small collection of pics of a man or a woman sometimes with no head or real fuzzy.
We wondered if it was a real profile or not because we get the feeling there are a lot of fake profiles on here.
We started to ask for a simple selfie of the couple together - nothing explicit just a regular photo. Some people really don't seem to like that. Are we being unreasonable? What are the standard things that people do to identify fake profiles?
Some help would really be appreciated.. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Many couple profiles only contain pics of the female, almost as 'bait'.
Makes sense that a couple's profile has photos of both, preferably together in some. You can't use the 'but someone has to hold the camera' excuse anymore with even phone cameras having timers.
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah that's good to know.
I upset someone thus morning and feel bad about it.
I admit I think my wife is more photogenic than I am. Her pictures are better. I've tried to balance it by putting pictures of both of us on there holding the card but I have this dislike of putting naked pictures of myself in public and the wife doesn't mind the underwear shots. Dors our profile come across as fake or bait? Hope not.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted a wider community view on this.
We've had a number of people contact us who never could provide a photo of themselves together (just a selfie) but had a small collection of pics of a man or a woman sometimes with no head or real fuzzy.
We wondered if it was a real profile or not because we get the feeling there are a lot of fake profiles on here.
We started to ask for a simple selfie of the couple together - nothing explicit just a regular photo. Some people really don't seem to like that. Are we being unreasonable? What are the standard things that people do to identify fake profiles?
Some help would really be appreciated.. "
Gets rid of the fakes fast. Some genuine couples won't like it but might be a price worth paying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We've got no problem sharing selfies of us both together indeed our friends area has several.. Wouldn't ask someone to do something that we wouldn't do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence. "
Fair enough. Personally I feel it's a sensible precaution to at least see a picture of the couple you're chatting with to make sure you're not chatting with a guy living in his mother's basement.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence. "
We do the same as you  |
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We ask for a direct photo to be attached. And also ask for a certain pose to be done to prove they are real. People may say that takes the fun away or is awkward and making people jump through hoops . But genuine people will be easily able to do it . And if they can’t then no need to waste time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence.
Fair enough. Personally I feel it's a sensible precaution to at least see a picture of the couple you're chatting with to make sure you're not chatting with a guy living in his mother's basement.."
I think you often get a feel from a profile if it’s genuine or not.
When we started I suppose we were more diligent, but it worked against us. The more work and effort that goes into a meet, actually the more pressure that gets piled on both parties. An expectation is built up and quite often, for some reason, at the end of the evening you feel a little disappointed for whatever reason.
We’ve found the best meets the ones where one couple contacts the other agrees to meet for a drink and it goes from there. No pressure, no drama and if they don’t turn up, we’ve not invested to much in it. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence. "
I agree with this, anyone who starts asking for certain pictures of me or both of us on my joint profile, would be immediately off putting.
It's not wrong for you to ask people for this op, if that's what you need to feel comfortable, but it's not unreasonable for people to decline either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ask for a direct photo to be attached. And also ask for a certain pose to be done to prove they are real. People may say that takes the fun away or is awkward and making people jump through hoops . But genuine people will be easily able to do it . And if they can’t then no need to waste time. "
A certain pose? Yeah....ok. No way am I posing with one leg off the floor and a marigold glove on my cock whilst my wife wears a paper hat made of the Financial Times! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We can appreciate the point about piling on the pressure and it's probably less hassle to just quickly chat and quickly arrange to meet.
I guess with us being new, and also with it being a lot of hassle for us to get babysitters means that we kind of want to be reasonably sure. I agree that it's a double edged sword though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ask for a direct photo to be attached. And also ask for a certain pose to be done to prove they are real. People may say that takes the fun away or is awkward and making people jump through hoops . But genuine people will be easily able to do it . And if they can’t then no need to waste time. "
We wouldn't do it. Could but wouldn't. If some see us as fakes because of it it's their opinion. Meet verifications is enough for us to believe people are who they say they are.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence.
Fair enough. Personally I feel it's a sensible precaution to at least see a picture of the couple you're chatting with to make sure you're not chatting with a guy living in his mother's basement..
I think you often get a feel from a profile if it’s genuine or not.
When we started I suppose we were more diligent, but it worked against us. The more work and effort that goes into a meet, actually the more pressure that gets piled on both parties. An expectation is built up and quite often, for some reason, at the end of the evening you feel a little disappointed for whatever reason.
We’ve found the best meets the ones where one couple contacts the other agrees to meet for a drink and it goes from there. No pressure, no drama and if they don’t turn up, we’ve not invested to much in it. "
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I get that - and currently have a guy that has quite happily shared a pic of the fem but refuses to send one of himself
Kept Saying meet me for a coffee and you can see what I look like
Now he’s finally admitted that he’d sent me a pic before and I said not interested (so obviously trying a different approach)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can appreciate the point about piling on the pressure and it's probably less hassle to just quickly chat and quickly arrange to meet.
I guess with us being new, and also with it being a lot of hassle for us to get babysitters means that we kind of want to be reasonably sure. I agree that it's a double edged sword though."
The point about babysitters I totally understand. My tip would be to go from a different angle. Try to make friends that you swing with, not just meets. You’ll then start to make a circle of people that you meet, but they also then introduce you to others. That way, you’ve a good idea that they’re ok. And even if you don’t fancy them, there’s no harm in being friends only. They’ll still introduce you to others that may take your fancy. |
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It's perfectly reasonable to ask for a photo of the couple together. There are a lot of fake couples on here.
I've had many messages from suspicious "couples", and you can tell it's gonna end up being one of those situations where you turn up, and there's just a guy there who tells you that his missus is "running late" but that we should "make a start" lol |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Wanted a wider community view on this.
We've had a number of people contact us who never could provide a photo of themselves together (just a selfie) but had a small collection of pics of a man or a woman sometimes with no head or real fuzzy.
We wondered if it was a real profile or not because we get the feeling there are a lot of fake profiles on here.
We started to ask for a simple selfie of the couple together - nothing explicit just a regular photo. Some people really don't seem to like that. Are we being unreasonable? What are the standard things that people do to identify fake profiles?
Some help would really be appreciated.. "
Nothing wrong with asking for a photo of both together if there are none in their profile photos.
You could also ask them to go on cam together.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You do what’s right for you OP and others will do what’s right for them.
Sometimes it’s a hit, sometimes it’s a miss, but both are a win, as you either meet those who are compatible or filter out those who aren’t.
The worst thing you can do is take this site too seriously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah that's good to know.
I upset someone thus morning and feel bad about it.
I admit I think my wife is more photogenic than I am. Her pictures are better. I've tried to balance it by putting pictures of both of us on there holding the card but I have this dislike of putting naked pictures of myself in public and the wife doesn't mind the underwear shots. Dors our profile come across as fake or bait? Hope not.. "
Your profile looks good to me. 
I just avoid couples profiles with dodgy looking pics, I certainly wouldn't waste time asking for a pic of them together. I think they should have one anyway. Otherwise it's just some bloke that stole female pics. |
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"We ask for a direct photo to be attached. And also ask for a certain pose to be done to prove they are real. People may say that takes the fun away or is awkward and making people jump through hoops . But genuine people will be easily able to do it . And if they can’t then no need to waste time.
We wouldn't do it. Could but wouldn't. If some see us as fakes because of it it's their opinion. Meet verifications is enough for us to believe people are who they say they are.
Mrs"
Everyone has their own ways of meeting people . We always prefer to make new friends at clubs or parties but on here there are so many fakes and people who may be in couples and may be swingers but still one half isn’t aware of the messages being sent . If we are gonna chat to a couple we want to know they are both there.
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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire East |
Even as a single I get asked to jump through hoops to appease couples. I always share a face pic, I'm quite happy to chat on the phone or whatever, but the second you start asking me to send pictures with certain poses or act like a performing monkey is when I stop replying.
I have been here for years, loads of experience. I am photo verified and verified by other members. Cba with nervous newbie couples who act like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even as a single I get asked to jump through hoops to appease couples. I always share a face pic, I'm quite happy to chat on the phone or whatever, but the second you start asking me to send pictures with certain poses or act like a performing monkey is when I stop replying.
I have been here for years, loads of experience. I am photo verified and verified by other members. Cba with nervous newbie couples who act like this "
Nervous newbie couples?
3 cheers for the inclusive friendly Swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No it's not unreasonable to want to see photos of both,equally it's not unreasonable for some couples not to display photos of both,if that's what choose.
What is unreasonable is to criticise others because their profile doesn't match what you seek.
Just ignore those that don't meet your requirements,pass them by,they aren't for you.
You aren't compatible from the off.
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We’ve been on here a while now and must say that there’s been a disappointing influx of new users recently who are fake, catfish types. It’s safe to assume it’s not going to be women - men (no doubt) posing as couples or hot AF single women in an attempt to see your friends only pics and fantasise/wank etc. with some dirty chat. We have become wise to these users.
For us, alarm bells ring when a “couple” only has a handful of pics they can send and none of them together. My wife and I have thousands of pics together; many of which are dull and uninteresting of course, but the point is, as a couple in this digital age, we have lots of pictures.
We have had a few fakes we have found by finding their images online (models) and loads of single men with “fuck buddies” who, forgive our lack of faith, we assume would be poorly or something if we were naive enough to meet them for real.
In the case of verified users, we don’t ask but we go with the cautious approach and ask for a quick video chat or live pic to prove authenticity. With having kids, we’re not prepared to waste time getting babysitters and all dressed up to be messed around. We won’t ask users to jump through hoops, but if a couple is legit, has nothing to hide and is up for meeting us, they surely won’t mind.
NC31 X |
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"Even as a single I get asked to jump through hoops to appease couples. I always share a face pic, I'm quite happy to chat on the phone or whatever, but the second you start asking me to send pictures with certain poses or act like a performing monkey is when I stop replying.
I have been here for years, loads of experience. I am photo verified and verified by other members. Cba with nervous newbie couples who act like this "
Fully agree, we had one the other day asking for a picture of both of us holding a can in one hand and a pen in the other, get fucking real.
When we gave them our phone number and asked for a 4way chat they disappeared, strange as they must have been real to ask for a pose like that according to some posters?
We have pics of us together and separately in our friends gallery, showing faces and sexy underwear shots.
We verify with a call to determine if profiles are fake, we guarantee that the fakers either will not call or the 'wife' will always be unavailable, at this point delete and block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on here a while now and must say that there’s been a disappointing influx of new users recently who are fake, catfish types. It’s safe to assume it’s not going to be women - men (no doubt) posing as couples or hot AF single women in an attempt to see your friends only pics and fantasise/wank etc. with some dirty chat. We have become wise to these users.
For us, alarm bells ring when a “couple” only has a handful of pics they can send and none of them together. My wife and I have thousands of pics together; many of which are dull and uninteresting of course, but the point is, as a couple in this digital age, we have lots of pictures.
We have had a few fakes we have found by finding their images online (models) and loads of single men with “fuck buddies” who, forgive our lack of faith, we assume would be poorly or something if we were naive enough to meet them for real.
In the case of verified users, we don’t ask but we go with the cautious approach and ask for a quick video chat or live pic to prove authenticity. With having kids, we’re not prepared to waste time getting babysitters and all dressed up to be messed around. We won’t ask users to jump through hoops, but if a couple is legit, has nothing to hide and is up for meeting us, they surely won’t mind.
NC31 X"
Great advice. |
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"We’ve been on here a while now and must say that there’s been a disappointing influx of new users recently who are fake, catfish types. It’s safe to assume it’s not going to be women - men (no doubt) posing as couples or hot AF single women in an attempt to see your friends only pics and fantasise/wank etc. with some dirty chat. We have become wise to these users.
For us, alarm bells ring when a “couple” only has a handful of pics they can send and none of them together. My wife and I have thousands of pics together; many of which are dull and uninteresting of course, but the point is, as a couple in this digital age, we have lots of pictures.
We have had a few fakes we have found by finding their images online (models) and loads of single men with “fuck buddies” who, forgive our lack of faith, we assume would be poorly or something if we were naive enough to meet them for real.
In the case of verified users, we don’t ask but we go with the cautious approach and ask for a quick video chat or live pic to prove authenticity. With having kids, we’re not prepared to waste time getting babysitters and all dressed up to be messed around. We won’t ask users to jump through hoops, but if a couple is legit, has nothing to hide and is up for meeting us, they surely won’t mind.
NC31 X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even as a single I get asked to jump through hoops to appease couples. I always share a face pic, I'm quite happy to chat on the phone or whatever, but the second you start asking me to send pictures with certain poses or act like a performing monkey is when I stop replying.
I have been here for years, loads of experience. I am photo verified and verified by other members. Cba with nervous newbie couples who act like this
Fully agree, we had one the other day asking for a picture of both of us holding a can in one hand and a pen in the other, get fucking real.
When we gave them our phone number and asked for a 4way chat they disappeared, strange as they must have been real to ask for a pose like that according to some posters?
We have pics of us together and separately in our friends gallery, showing faces and sexy underwear shots.
We verify with a call to determine if profiles are fake, we guarantee that the fakers either will not call or the 'wife' will always be unavailable, at this point delete and block. "
If they're asking for a specific photo like that I'd assume they have a fake profile and need that specific pic to send someone else as 'proof' they are real. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seems then there are three schools of thought.
1. Those that won't send anything out of principle and don't feel the need to.
Have to say I don't understand this. Few people would even meet to see a car without seeing it never mind a prospective sexual partner.
2. Those that feel that it's OK to ask for a few photos of a couple together.
I guess we agree with this the most. We have thousands of selfies and can't see a problem sharing or asking.
3. Those that want additional security via posed photos or what not.
I can appreciate that. If someone asked us, I guess we would do it, but I wouldn't personally ask for posed photos.
We make sure all our photos are watermarked anyways to ensure they don't get re-used.
To the earlier posters who seemed to slam newbie concerns, thanks for making us feel so welcome. This was our first post.
Thanks others for the helpful replies they are much appreciated... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ask for a direct photo to be attached. And also ask for a certain pose to be done to prove they are real. People may say that takes the fun away or is awkward and making people jump through hoops . But genuine people will be easily able to do it . And if they can’t then no need to waste time.
We wouldn't do it. Could but wouldn't. If some see us as fakes because of it it's their opinion. Meet verifications is enough for us to believe people are who they say they are.
Mrs"
Couldn’t agree more.
We don’t have pics together. We take pics of each other and even then struggle to get pics we like.
People want us to talk or video cam but find it a bit awkward so don’t do it.
We just show face pic photos and ask for a social. We have veris from people who also have veris so have some strong evidence we’re genuine.
If people think we’re a single guy we say turn up for a social with us and see . How much is there to lose really by just meeting face to face?
If you turn up and it’s just a single guy then you can walk away. Really don’t see the point of people wanting everything including blood type before a social. Take a chance. You might not regret it.
Just our opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems then there are three schools of thought.
1. Those that won't send anything out of principle and don't feel the need to.
Have to say I don't understand this. Few people would even meet to see a car without seeing it never mind a prospective sexual partner.
2. Those that feel that it's OK to ask for a few photos of a couple together.
I guess we agree with this the most. We have thousands of selfies and can't see a problem sharing or asking.
3. Those that want additional security via posed photos or what not.
I can appreciate that. If someone asked us, I guess we would do it, but I wouldn't personally ask for posed photos.
We make sure all our photos are watermarked anyways to ensure they don't get re-used.
To the earlier posters who seemed to slam newbie concerns, thanks for making us feel so welcome. This was our first post.
Thanks others for the helpful replies they are much appreciated..."
I’m not sure you were slammed......
However, your summing up under number one comes across as you see this as a transactional process. You’re (hopefully) looking for a swinging meet where everyone gets something out of it. You sound more like you want a prostitute where you call all the shots. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's perfectly reasonable to ask for a photo of the couple together. There are a lot of fake couples on here.
I've had many messages from suspicious "couples", and you can tell it's gonna end up being one of those situations where you turn up, and there's just a guy there who tells you that his missus is "running late" but that we should "make a start" lol"
These guys are rife on this site......
That’s why I stick to female lead couples profiles ......
It’s cuts out the middle man and makes arranging meets much easier.....
But unfortunately 90% of couples profiles on the internet are run by the male half...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
However, your summing up under number one comes across as you see this as a transactional process. You’re (hopefully) looking for a swinging meet where everyone gets something out of it. You sound more like you want a prostitute where you call all the shots. "
It's not supposed to come across that way. We are just talking about the best way to out the fake profiles aren't we? We've been contacted now by getting towards a hundred 'couples' since we joined and reckon about 60 percent wetr not genuine. Without some sort of way of measuring, it's going to be an expensive and time consuming process getting babysitters and dressed up each time.
I submit to you that the chance of finding a diamond in the rough is a lot less than the chance that we will have our time wasted without some sort of basic check.
A basic check in my world means a photo together or a phone call or maybe even a Skype or kik call but it would be awkward as arse. A simple photo seems a common sense measure. I can't understand why the site doesn't require one.
I also feel that the sort of person who would dismiss the concerns of another couple so lightly probably don't care a great deal about the feelings or concerns of others - also not a good basis on which to build any sort of friendship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this the other day. They made every excuse under the sun why they couldn't send a photo of them together. With smart phone technology you can do a quick selfie there and then in the time it takes to argue why you can't send one. No excuse in my eyes and a perfectly acceptable request. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However, your summing up under number one comes across as you see this as a transactional process. You’re (hopefully) looking for a swinging meet where everyone gets something out of it. You sound more like you want a prostitute where you call all the shots.
It's not supposed to come across that way. We are just talking about the best way to out the fake profiles aren't we? We've been contacted now by getting towards a hundred 'couples' since we joined and reckon about 60 percent wetr not genuine. Without some sort of way of measuring, it's going to be an expensive and time consuming process getting babysitters and dressed up each time.
I submit to you that the chance of finding a diamond in the rough is a lot less than the chance that we will have our time wasted without some sort of basic check.
A basic check in my world means a photo together or a phone call or maybe even a Skype or kik call but it would be awkward as arse. A simple photo seems a common sense measure. I can't understand why the site doesn't require one.
I also feel that the sort of person who would dismiss the concerns of another couple so lightly probably don't care a great deal about the feelings or concerns of others - also not a good basis on which to build any sort of friendship."
What about verifications from people who have met others ? We have veris from people who have in turn 10s of veris from others. Do multiple veris mean nothing? We use them to suss out potential fakes but the network effect means that it’s easy to tell the really genuine couples.
Photos together or separate can be downloaded from anywhere on the Internet . That’s why people ask for poses in pics sometimes. |
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"Wanted a wider community view on this.
We've had a number of people contact us who never could provide a photo of themselves together (just a selfie) but had a small collection of pics of a man or a woman sometimes with no head or real fuzzy.
We wondered if it was a real profile or not because we get the feeling there are a lot of fake profiles on here.
We started to ask for a simple selfie of the couple together - nothing explicit just a regular photo. Some people really don't seem to like that. Are we being unreasonable? What are the standard things that people do to identify fake profiles?
Some help would really be appreciated.. "
Sounds like fakes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree. It makes me feel a lot happier when I see that. But it's just part of the spectrum.
Not everyone publishes their verifications. Is that a red flag?
I've also certainly seen profiles where it was possible to follow an elaborate ring of verifications that all basically verified each other..
Besides - we aren't verified because we are new - so it wouldn't be reasonable for us to only talk to people with bunches of verifications would it?
Accept the point on stolen pictures. There's certainly no better way than a physical meeting. Just wish i didn't get the feel that there were so many fakes on here.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree. It makes me feel a lot happier when I see that. But it's just part of the spectrum.
Not everyone publishes their verifications. Is that a red flag?
I've also certainly seen profiles where it was possible to follow an elaborate ring of verifications that all basically verified each other..
Besides - we aren't verified because we are new - so it wouldn't be reasonable for us to only talk to people with bunches of verifications would it?
Accept the point on stolen pictures. There's certainly no better way than a physical meeting. Just wish i didn't get the feel that there were so many fakes on here.."
Stay true to yourselves. Do what is right for you, not what others feel is right, that way will you will get the right experience for you |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
These are your rules if you want a photo of a couple together then you have the right to request and insist on it. If they don't want to provide that photo that is there right but they would understand that without that photo there will be no meet. Its your call.
A profile which claims to be from a couple which can't provide a simple selfie of them together would start alarm bells ringing especially if it was not well verified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree. It makes me feel a lot happier when I see that. But it's just part of the spectrum.
Not everyone publishes their verifications. Is that a red flag?
I've also certainly seen profiles where it was possible to follow an elaborate ring of verifications that all basically verified each other..
Besides - we aren't verified because we are new - so it wouldn't be reasonable for us to only talk to people with bunches of verifications would it?
Accept the point on stolen pictures. There's certainly no better way than a physical meeting. Just wish i didn't get the feel that there were so many fakes on here.."
We’ve been on and off the site for over 10 years and never actually met a fake couple or turned up at a meet where the other couple didn’t turn up.
Everyone is super careful about fake profiles but how many people have actually met fakes and, if so, how many times have they met fakes? Pretty sure more genuine couples get filtered out through the various mechanism for filtering.
What we have found is that the more demands you make and the more you chat and the more pics you share with a couple then the less likely an actual meet will take place . We find getting in there, exchanging face pics and then arranging a quick social gets best results, for us anyway.
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Your profile, your rules! Play the way that suits you. If you want to ask people to provide x y and z before you consider meeting and it works for you then all is good.
However, don’t be surprised if people sometimes say bugger off. If someone asked for direct pics, in certain poses etc we’d refuse outright. We have more than enough photos of us together, one of which is a wedding photo. That combined with us being verified both as a couple and singles should be more than enough to show that we really exist. We would only ever meet for a social or at a club first time anyway so in our opinion, proving ourselves this way is a total waste of our time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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However, your summing up under number one comes across as you see this as a transactional process. You’re (hopefully) looking for a swinging meet where everyone gets something out of it. You sound more like you want a prostitute where you call all the shots.
It's not supposed to come across that way. We are just talking about the best way to out the fake profiles aren't we? We've been contacted now by getting towards a hundred 'couples' since we joined and reckon about 60 percent wetr not genuine. Without some sort of way of measuring, it's going to be an expensive and time consuming process getting babysitters and dressed up each time.
I submit to you that the chance of finding a diamond in the rough is a lot less than the chance that we will have our time wasted without some sort of basic check.
A basic check in my world means a photo together or a phone call or maybe even a Skype or kik call but it would be awkward as arse. A simple photo seems a common sense measure. I can't understand why the site doesn't require one.
I also feel that the sort of person who would dismiss the concerns of another couple so lightly probably don't care a great deal about the feelings or concerns of others - also not a good basis on which to build any sort of friendship."
I’m not sure I’ve dismissed your concerns, just take a different point of view. |
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence.
I agree with this, anyone who starts asking for certain pictures of me or both of us on my joint profile, would be immediately off putting.
It's not wrong for you to ask people for this op, if that's what you need to feel comfortable, but it's not unreasonable for people to decline either. "
I've been on here as part of a couple and now as a single and my attitude is that at some point you've got to make a leap of faith. I don't place a lot of store in pics, too easy to steal or doctor them in my opinion, so I won't jump through hoops. Also it's amazing how often the pics asked for make me suspect additional wank fodder collection (not suggesting that of you OP for the record)
However on my last profile and this one I'm verified by others who are in turn well verified and feel no need to prove myself. I don't mind people asking but if they insist I won't carry on chatting. |
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"We wouldn’t bother providing one. Or WhatsApp, video messaging, phone call between the ladies or anything else.
If you don’t think we are genuine, or have something to hide, that’s up to you. We find those that ask for this, that or the other tend to be a pain in the arse.
We don’t expect anyone to provide anything. We will meet firstlyat a club, or social and go from there. This is supposed to be fun, not an exercise in due diligence.
We do the same as you "
And us to. We are genuine. If people doubt it that's fine. We only meet in clubs so come along and find out exactly how fake we are.
People are obsessed with fakes. Use common sense. A well verified profile by well verified people, who have recent veris and pictures is unlikely to be fake.Just play your way with nothing to prove. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends, if they are well verified then you know they are genuine and i don't think it's necessary for a picture together.
Me and the hubby don't often get a picture we both agree on ha!
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