FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How important are verifications?
How important are verifications?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated. |
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I'll happily chat to a newbie or even someone that's been here a few months. Once you get back 6 months or so, you do start to wonder why someone hasn't got one though. It's a mix of profile, verifications and message content for me.
Photo verification and site membership help - not be all and end all but certainly suggest someone is more serious about using the site to meet. |
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Without any veris you are going to be struggling to get anything... as others will tell you. . Get yourself to a Social or Club to get your face known and even if you don't get to play you'll be putting yourself out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The type of veri is more important to us. Cam veri's are the lowest in the pecking order, then socials, then club meets. We don't need to know the details of any play but do need to know you would turn up when we have spent time and money sorting childcare, travel and possibly moving work around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet unverified men as we all started with none & if there's a mutual attraction, politeness & they're what I'm looking for then it doesn't put me off.
I dislike the profiles who think having a meet verification will open the floodgates though, all they show are you turn up on time, look like your profile photos, etc, not some golden ticket |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the replies so far, it is as I suspected that verifications are an important aspect of anyone's profile. I actually live within walking distance of townhouse but plucking up the courage to go on your own is another hurdle. Would much prefer a meet before or to go with someone so you don't look like a fish out of water. Will persist with the online chat for now and see where that gets me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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also worth noting some people will not meet you if you have verification by a friend or foe.
this maybe why some hide from one person but display others.
but what would i know. |
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"also worth noting some people will not meet you if you have verification by a friend or foe.
this maybe why some hide from one person but display others.
but what would i know."
I've had people tell me off for who I've met. I'm not sure how it's their business, and am glad to avoid the drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst verifications are important for a number of reasons I do also use my gut instinct with newbies. After all we were all new once. For safety reasons though I would only ever meet someone new and unverified in a club and after a decent time chatting. Townhouse is a very friendly club and you would be made to feel welcome. Why don’t you try a day time event and sit chatting at the bar? Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whilst verifications are important for a number of reasons I do also use my gut instinct with newbies. After all we were all new once. For safety reasons though I would only ever meet someone new and unverified in a club and after a decent time chatting. Townhouse is a very friendly club and you would be made to feel welcome. Why don’t you try a day time event and sit chatting at the bar? Good luck"
thanks for the good advice for going to a swingers club for the first time. Will consider this for sure. |
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"Thanks for all the replies so far, it is as I suspected that verifications are an important aspect of anyone's profile. I actually live within walking distance of townhouse but plucking up the courage to go on your own is another hurdle. Would much prefer a meet before or to go with someone so you don't look like a fish out of water. Will persist with the online chat for now and see where that gets me.
"
If you are soley relying on here for a meet I think you will be disappointed. You have one of the best clubs on your doorstep, it doesnt rip single men off and has events were single men are encouraged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're better off going to socials or a club to get verified. We wouldn't even reply to a message from you otherwise."
Ive seen some socials require you having a veri but worth checking em out.
Ive been to both clubs and socials. Can be quite cliquey but again, nothing ventured... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated. "
Depends on who's doing the judging. Ive met a few buthey haven't left me one., some women expressly adked me to NOT give them a veri because other guys pester them saying 'why didnt you go with me' messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the replies so far, it is as I suspected that verifications are an important aspect of anyone's profile. I actually live within walking distance of townhouse but plucking up the courage to go on your own is another hurdle. Would much prefer a meet before or to go with someone so you don't look like a fish out of water. Will persist with the online chat for now and see where that gets me.
If you are soley relying on here for a meet I think you will be disappointed. You have one of the best clubs on your doorstep, it doesnt rip single men off and has events were single men are encouraged. "
Think your right, might just have jump in the deep end and go one of their single mens night as you suggested. |
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"New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
Depends on who's doing the judging. Ive met a few buthey haven't left me one., some women expressly adked me to NOT give them a veri because other guys pester them saying 'why didnt you go with me' messages"
I like those messages. Culls the herd.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
Depends on who's doing the judging. Ive met a few buthey haven't left me one., some women expressly adked me to NOT give them a veri because other guys pester them saying 'why didnt you go with me' messages
I like those messages. Culls the herd. "
Gawd! Tell me about it. I opened the door of a room in a swongers club after sex, and a guy was standing there asking her why she didnt shag him! ffs! |
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"New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
Depends on who's doing the judging. Ive met a few buthey haven't left me one., some women expressly adked me to NOT give them a veri because other guys pester them saying 'why didnt you go with me' messages
I like those messages. Culls the herd.
Gawd! Tell me about it. I opened the door of a room in a swongers club after sex, and a guy was standing there asking her why she didnt shag him! ffs! "
Lol, I mean, guys who whine at me that I've fucked X but not them, join my block list. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But can you have too many veris?"
Depends on reasons behind each individual i suppose.
Can only surmise they think your an increased std risk with lots of veris but i am guessing |
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"But can you have too many veris?
Depends on reasons behind each individual i suppose.
Can only surmise they think your an increased std risk with lots of veris but i am guessing "
You can have fucked just as many people or more who haven't verified you. And be tested very regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But can you have too many veris?
Depends on reasons behind each individual i suppose.
Can only surmise they think your an increased std risk with lots of veris but i am guessing
You can have fucked just as many people or more who haven't verified you. And be tested very regularly. "
Well yes. You'll have to nab a genuine "too many veris" advocate but yes i agree. I think i have too many veris  lol |
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I do me!
What a total stranger has to say about another total stranger is pointless to me. Exchange messages, talk on the phone, meet for a social drink, arrange to fuck!
Wash, rinse, repeat!
In 15 years I can count on one hand the bullets I've dodged.
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Personally I dont mind if the member is meet verified or not. It's really much more to do with sexual attraction and compatability for me.
But yes I have seen many profiles where the lady states if you aren't meet verified your message will be deleted. It's a women's world here and they can afford to be picky. Good luck though OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no idea why people on a swinging website shame others for having more than a certain number of verifications.  "
I don't get that whole shaming thing either, but at least it is a good indicator on getting to know more about the people who feel the need to shame.
If someone regularly attends socials they won't have control over how many veri's they get because people can get 10+ from one event. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex |
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex "
I got a fair amount of stick, including my account being temporarily frozen, because I didn't have a veri for about a month. Something extremely serious came up and I didn't have a full meet until then. But I can well understand being more careful with female profiles, they're more "desirable" for fakes I guess. |
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Verifications mean squat to me. It’s obvious from message and profile content if someone understands what *this* is all about and is someone I want to meet.
I like having them because I like to remember stuff, like diary entries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Verifications can paint many pictures.
How long someone has had a profile often says a lot and whether they can accommodate.
Test it out - usually sorts the frauds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I hate is when you verify someone and then they hide it. Like are you ashamed that you just fucked me?"
I sometimes do this it has nothing to do with being ashamed and everything to do with the wording of the verification. So for example if they put a detail in there that I don't want the whole world to know then I don't display it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex
I got a fair amount of stick, including my account being temporarily frozen, because I didn't have a veri for about a month. Something extremely serious came up and I didn't have a full meet until then. But I can well understand being more careful with female profiles, they're more "desirable" for fakes I guess. "
I'm a bit confused are you are you saying your account was frozen because you didn't get a veri for a month? |
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex
I got a fair amount of stick, including my account being temporarily frozen, because I didn't have a veri for about a month. Something extremely serious came up and I didn't have a full meet until then. But I can well understand being more careful with female profiles, they're more "desirable" for fakes I guess.
I'm a bit confused are you are you saying your account was frozen because you didn't get a veri for a month?"
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I was frozen out until I photo verified. I suspect someone had reported me as fake. (the photo verification actually took some doing and several attempts to succeed. I was badly injured at the time and it was physically challenging. The two people who'd actually met me from Fab - but hadn't yet verified me because I didn't want to be hassled, because I was injured - also emailed admin).
Apart from that, I got an awful lot of rudeness through to abuse for being "fake". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex
I got a fair amount of stick, including my account being temporarily frozen, because I didn't have a veri for about a month. Something extremely serious came up and I didn't have a full meet until then. But I can well understand being more careful with female profiles, they're more "desirable" for fakes I guess.
I'm a bit confused are you are you saying your account was frozen because you didn't get a veri for a month?
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I was frozen out until I photo verified. I suspect someone had reported me as fake. (the photo verification actually took some doing and several attempts to succeed. I was badly injured at the time and it was physically challenging. The two people who'd actually met me from Fab - but hadn't yet verified me because I didn't want to be hassled, because I was injured - also emailed admin).
Apart from that, I got an awful lot of rudeness through to abuse for being "fake". "
bloody awful people are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex "
So the point of a verification isn't only to prove someone is genuine? Would you honestly write a bad review about someone? Surely they can just delete it right?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex
I got a fair amount of stick, including my account being temporarily frozen, because I didn't have a veri for about a month. Something extremely serious came up and I didn't have a full meet until then. But I can well understand being more careful with female profiles, they're more "desirable" for fakes I guess.
I'm a bit confused are you are you saying your account was frozen because you didn't get a veri for a month?
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I was frozen out until I photo verified. I suspect someone had reported me as fake. (the photo verification actually took some doing and several attempts to succeed. I was badly injured at the time and it was physically challenging. The two people who'd actually met me from Fab - but hadn't yet verified me because I didn't want to be hassled, because I was injured - also emailed admin).
Apart from that, I got an awful lot of rudeness through to abuse for being "fake". "
Oh I see, now I understand.
Yes I had a message from a guy once staying if I didn't meet him he would " report me as fake and tell everyone I was a man". I just laughed, blocked and reported. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Verifications can paint many pictures.
How long someone has had a profile often says a lot and whether they can accommodate.
Test it out - usually sorts the frauds "
Ok, hit me! Does my profile hint of fake? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We meet guys without veris, we wouldn’t meet a single woman or couple without though because it probably means it’s a fake profile in our experience .. we are quite happy to give unverified guys a chance and if they can’t perform which doesn’t happen often , it’s not the end of the world it’s only sex So the point of a verification isn't only to prove someone is genuine? Would you honestly write a bad review about someone? Surely they can just delete it right?
"
I might be wrong but I don't think you can delete it, but you don't have to display it.
Obviously if its abusive it can be reported. Again I might be wrong but I don't think that would happen very often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally. I think veris. are a waste of time.
Ive received messages and seen forum posts from rude, arrogant arseholes.. With veris.
There are good and bad in all walks of life, including on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally. I think veris. are a waste of time.
Ive received messages and seen forum posts from rude, arrogant arseholes.. With veris.
There are good and bad in all walks of life, including on here. "
Why on earth people rely on verifications I really don't know. Perhaps they need babysitting in real life too. |
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"Personally. I think veris. are a waste of time.
Ive received messages and seen forum posts from rude, arrogant arseholes.. With veris.
There are good and bad in all walks of life, including on here. "
Fundamentally veris say that the people are who they claim to be on the basis of meeting or seeing on cam. So, if nothing else, my veris say that I am indeed a woman who looks about 33.
Anything else you want to read into them (I don't think anyone displays bad veris and not many write them) is up to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New to this site and one of the features I actually quite like are the verifications which helps indicate the genuine profiles from the fake ones, but as a single man looking to meet women without any verifications yet I'm wondering if this is really hurting my chances or is it something else? Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated. "
I've actually had a few day time coffee shop one on one socials with single men who had no verifications. We all need to start somewhere. After all, all of us were new once!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally. I think veris. are a waste of time.
Ive received messages and seen forum posts from rude, arrogant arseholes.. With veris.
There are good and bad in all walks of life, including on here. "
Cinsidering im a single woman, Verifications from in person meets mean everything. They show that person looks like their photos, actually turns up, is genuine and pleasant to be alone with or not.
So many on here have pics up whereas they look little or nothing like it in person. They lie about their age too.
You are most real from an in person meet compared to how a person is via messaging and as seen on the forum. People can be very different whilst hiding behind a screen chatting away.
In person verifications are a very usual tool. A tool to help establish whether I'd want to make the effort (at my time and cost) to go ahead and meet up alone with. No babysitter required!  |
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"Personally. I think veris. are a waste of time.
Ive received messages and seen forum posts from rude, arrogant arseholes.. With veris.
There are good and bad in all walks of life, including on here.
Cinsidering im a single woman, Verifications from in person meets mean everything. They show that person looks like their photos, actually turns up, is genuine and pleasant to be alone with or not.
So many on here have pics up whereas they look little or nothing like it in person. They lie about their age too.
You are most real from an in person meet compared to how a person is via messaging and as seen on the forum. People can be very different whilst hiding behind a screen chatting away.
In person verifications are a very usual tool. A tool to help establish whether I'd want to make the effort (at my time and cost) to go ahead and meet up alone with. No babysitter required! "
Quite. I use them to try to establish if the person is safe, among other checks I've established. Using my critical thinking and evidence available to me to take care of myself.
Obviously a very childlike thing to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without any veris you are going to be struggling to get anything... as others will tell you. . Get yourself to a Social or Club to get your face known and even if you don't get to play you'll be putting yourself out there "
i would agree as a social or club is the only way to get veris maybe some fun in life
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the comments people, was great getting your thoughts on this. Think it is better to have them than not though so need to get my first verification ASAP! Good luck Fabbers |
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It depends if you put much store in bullshit typed by one stranger about another one which is pretty generic mostly. In reality they are a bit of a waste of time as there are so many fake ones about. |
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"Thanks for all the replies so far, it is as I suspected that verifications are an important aspect of anyone's profile. I actually live within walking distance of townhouse but plucking up the courage to go on your own is another hurdle. Would much prefer a meet before or to go with someone so you don't look like a fish out of water. Will persist with the online chat for now and see where that gets me.
"
Go to Townhouse on a live lounge night. It will only cost you £10 and there will be loads there and you don’t have to dress down. But you can get a feel for the place and be shown round and told the rules. Well worth it
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A gave a chance last weekend to unverified guy to meet me... oh boy he wasted my time...no show. But having said that well verified people can be time wasters as well but in minority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A gave a chance last weekend to unverified guy to meet me... oh boy he wasted my time...no show. But having said that well verified people can be time wasters as well but in minority."
must of been gay you look amazing ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the replies so far, it is as I suspected that verifications are an important aspect of anyone's profile. I actually live within walking distance of townhouse but plucking up the courage to go on your own is another hurdle. Would much prefer a meet before or to go with someone so you don't look like a fish out of water. Will persist with the online chat for now and see where that gets me.
"
You've already failed at the 1st hurdle pal if your not prepared to even go to a club that's near bi
Trust me you will have an amazing night play or non play and it will give you an introduction to our world
In brief man up and get yourself to the townhouse
Things I've heard about this place and how good a club it is you couldn't have chose a better 1st club to attend
* always post in meets and on here the same when your going and you just never know it could be your lucky lucky night also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have veris but only last week messaged a localish fem, who replied that she wouldnt meet anyone who had met two of the members who had left me veris, i mentioned that veris are there to try and prove someone is genuine (clue is in the name lol)not to be used against or judge.
So its not all plain sailing, veris or not!
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"I have veris but only last week messaged a localish fem, who replied that she wouldnt meet anyone who had met two of the members who had left me veris, i mentioned that veris are there to try and prove someone is genuine (clue is in the name lol)not to be used against or judge.
So its not all plain sailing, veris or not!
"
Whilst for some, myself included, lack of verifications wouldn't preclude me from meeting, a verification from someone I considered "undesirable" would.
For example, if they had "safe sex always" on their profile but had a verification from BarebackgangbangSally stating how wonderful it was to feel his hot jizz...then yeah...he wouldn't be for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have veris but only last week messaged a localish fem, who replied that she wouldnt meet anyone who had met two of the members who had left me veris, i mentioned that veris are there to try and prove someone is genuine (clue is in the name lol)not to be used against or judge.
So its not all plain sailing, veris or not!
Whilst for some, myself included, lack of verifications wouldn't preclude me from meeting, a verification from someone I considered "undesirable" would.
For example, if they had "safe sex always" on their profile but had a verification from BarebackgangbangSally stating how wonderful it was to feel his hot jizz...then yeah...he wouldn't be for me. "
This is very funny
Bbgbs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have veris but only last week messaged a localish fem, who replied that she wouldnt meet anyone who had met two of the members who had left me veris, i mentioned that veris are there to try and prove someone is genuine (clue is in the name lol)not to be used against or judge.
So its not all plain sailing, veris or not!
Whilst for some, myself included, lack of verifications wouldn't preclude me from meeting, a verification from someone I considered "undesirable" would.
For example, if they had "safe sex always" on their profile but had a verification from BarebackgangbangSally stating how wonderful it was to feel his hot jizz...then yeah...he wouldn't be for me. "
You are not the only one that looks on them in that way they can tell you a lot but they are not a must have thing to meet. |
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met of here 
