FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Absence of info about the male half on MF couple profiles
Absence of info about the male half on MF couple profiles
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By *LAndAJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas 
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm?  Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message  |
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message "
We totally agree! Both for personal meets and for events (on both our profiles) it's annoying when a profile focuses on their lady.
A lack of information and imagery of the hubby gives the impression that they believe the man to be less important, which reflects how they view other couples. We always want to see both, and read about both. |
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One of the many disappointments for us is that we nearly always have to ask for pics of the male half , then if we don’t fancy him after pictures are sent it makes it awakward.
We have stopped asking now and we generally only reply to people who have forwarded us a first message with pictures of both halves on .
It’s not hard to take photos these days. We aren’t models but our photos clearly show us both in all kinds of situations they are decent and not fuzzy and mostly all taken with a phone . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the many disappointments for us is that we nearly always have to ask for pics of the male half , then if we don’t fancy him after pictures are sent it makes it awakward.
We have stopped asking now and we generally only reply to people who have forwarded us a first message with pictures of both halves on .
It’s not hard to take photos these days. We aren’t models but our photos clearly show us both in all kinds of situations they are decent and not fuzzy and mostly all taken with a phone . "
I reckon that's exactly why they don't have pics of the man on their profile. They know he will put people off meeting them.
Once they've sent pics of him they hope the other couple will feel too bad to turn them down and meet them anyway. |
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"One of the many disappointments for us is that we nearly always have to ask for pics of the male half , then if we don’t fancy him after pictures are sent it makes it awakward.
We have stopped asking now and we generally only reply to people who have forwarded us a first message with pictures of both halves on .
It’s not hard to take photos these days. We aren’t models but our photos clearly show us both in all kinds of situations they are decent and not fuzzy and mostly all taken with a phone . "
Well said.  |
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By *LAndAJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Absolutely, we make our decisions together so we tend to look for signs that we might click with both people (and the couple as a whole). That's difficult to do at the best of times and it's even harder if there isn't any sign of some parties  |
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I wish more couples would have pics of the male half... although on our profile there aren’t many of Mr P as he hates having his picture taken . However we usually send pics within the first 1-2 messages ! |
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By *LAndAJ OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"The lady is the selling point so to speak.
"
That's true but it's also where it can get tricky for a straight couple. For "soft swing" or a "full swap" which is "played straight", the female half of a couple also has to be attracted to the male half of the other couple. It's not as tricky when it comes to a threesomes because only one person need to be sexually attracted to the third person, although all parties would still need to get along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have to admit to not having many pics on our profile of Jez. Simple reason is he doesn't tend to play at the moment. So tend to meet Bifem couples looking for 3somes. |
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We don’t have pics of mr because primarily we meet guys for mrs to have fun while mr either watches or is limited on how much he joins. Being str8 hubby and the other guy never get involved together. From what we have found on here mr looks are not too important as mrs is focus of attention. Would be different if meeting other couples was our focus though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to not to bother with those profiles. Neither of us 'need' to have sex with other people because we enjoy each other so much anyway. That means I don't have to settle for being a spare part or taking one for the team. It's really off putting for us.
Eve. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message "
Totally agree, massively frustrating. Especially on profiles with hundreds of pics, flick through the lot and not one of the guy. No matter how hot the female is, we still wouldn’t meet without seeing the guy first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message "
Completely agree. It is disappointing. We just say no thanks to such profiles now without going any further. Cat in a bag? - not for us.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let us cast a different perspective.
We are a couple looking for a long term straight buddy for the Wife.
Why would that "straight" male buddy care what the Hubby looked like??????? |
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"Let us cast a different perspective.
We are a couple looking for a long term straight buddy for the Wife.
Why would that "straight" male buddy care what the Hubby looked like???????"
Because the op are looking for other couples. |
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"Let us cast a different perspective.
We are a couple looking for a long term straight buddy for the Wife.
Why would that "straight" male buddy care what the Hubby looked like???????"
Your profile says looking for men only so they wouldn’t be mesagging you , and you wouldn’t be messaging them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make a point of avoiding one sided profiles.
So many just have pics of the female half. It’s the male I’m mainly interested in and the female is the bonus. |
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We are well aware of not having many pics of Mr. He’s always been camera shy & when starting this profile, we realised there was nothing really to add. We’re having a dirty few days away this week, so we’re going to fix that this week |
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I have no idea why so many couples who want to meet other couples, have virtually no photos of the man...worse only pics are of his cock.
Maybe use it as a good filter.
There are more of me, but we want to see what the guy looks like, so make sure Cal is well represented on ours too.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message "
We always try and keep a decent amount of detail about B in our profile, be it pics or our text which reflects both of us?
There's probably slightly more pics of P, but that's mainly down to the fact that B loves to wield a camera!  |
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By *ZcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Thetford |
Our profile shows neither of our faces. Not because we're ugly but because of my job. I could literally walk into somewhere and have someone recognize me and id be in deep utter shit. 
I have no problem sending a pm with face pics however.. but jo pics on a profile ruffles my feathers.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We now fall in to that category... I (male) no longer want face pics visible due to work so they are now friends only.
TBH we rarely meet via fab anyway so it doesn't really matter... would like to bin most of our pics but you cant multi-delete (which is piss poor).
I agree if this is your only means of meeting as a couple then pics of both parties is important |
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"Mr M doesn’t play with anyone else so we see no need to post pics of him.
It’s there in our profile.
But thats not the point of the OP lol. They are looking for couples. "
We are a couple but Mr M has no interest in playing with anyone else.
Doesn’t make us not a couple, we are and we play as such but he doesn’t have any interest in others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message "
Have a look at ours, we think it’s ok! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the many disappointments for us is that we nearly always have to ask for pics of the male half , then if we don’t fancy him after pictures are sent it makes it awakward.
We have stopped asking now and we generally only reply to people who have forwarded us a first message with pictures of both halves on .
It’s not hard to take photos these days. We aren’t models but our photos clearly show us both in all kinds of situations they are decent and not fuzzy and mostly all taken with a phone . "
We've met enough couples socially that do not have and to not send photos of the guy to know that a quick coffee and a no thanks is the only way its ever going to end.
We no longer contact couples where there isn't photo's of both parties, and unless photo's of both parties are on the profile or are sent with their first message we won't reply to couples that contact us first. I'd rather watch paint dry than waste our time meeting someone I could have ruled out with a quick photo, and if someone is anticipating sticking their dick in my personal space its the absolute minimum I expect. |
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As a male in a relashionship (we've also balanced our pofile best we can) I'd like to point out that men nowerdays also feel they have "body expectations" that we usually feel that we don't meet.
Also we've been bombarded by messages in the day to day that no one want's to see our bodies unless we have six packs and no one wants to see us naked, while women (and i'm not complaining here) usually get nothing but praise if they are willing to show their bodies off.
So we've split the difference, plenty of Gemma in and out of play and a few shots of me that are clear and hounest so you get an idea of what I really look like, but I can see why allot of other people would rather leave it until they've asked to save putting people off. |
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"As a male in a relashionship (we've also balanced our pofile best we can) I'd like to point out that men nowerdays also feel they have "body expectations" that we usually feel that we don't meet.
Also we've been bombarded by messages in the day to day that no one want's to see our bodies unless we have six packs and no one wants to see us naked, while women (and i'm not complaining here) usually get nothing but praise if they are willing to show their bodies off.
So we've split the difference, plenty of Gemma in and out of play and a few shots of me that are clear and hounest so you get an idea of what I really look like, but I can see why allot of other people would rather leave it until they've asked to save putting people off."
This is all completely true, but as a couple we feel that it is important that potential meets can see what is on offer. For us, Anita isn't even too bothered about seeing naked pics, as long as there are a few that give a pretty good idea of build and reletive "fattness".
Cal |
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We have a few of the hubby on ours. We also hardly ever find any profiles with the photos male half or any likes for the hubbys photos on our own profile.
Like mentioned above, we are both straight so the attraction when meeting another couple needs to be recripicated for all people involved.
It’s a woman’s world. |
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"We have a few of the hubby on ours. We also hardly ever find any profiles with the photos male half or any likes for the hubbys photos on our own profile.
Like mentioned above, we are both straight so the attraction when meeting another couple needs to be recripicated for all people involved.
It’s a woman’s world. "
I find that my pictures get a few fabs, and Anita does fab male photos too. I do only get about 10% of what Anita gets though.
Cal |
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"We have a few of the hubby on ours. We also hardly ever find any profiles with the photos male half or any likes for the hubbys photos on our own profile.
Like mentioned above, we are both straight so the attraction when meeting another couple needs to be recripicated for all people involved.
It’s a woman’s world.
I find that my pictures get a few fabs, and Anita does fab male photos too. I do only get about 10% of what Anita gets though.
Cal"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s interesting to read everyone’s opinions
We have a few of Mr P in public pics but happily share as soon as we’re chatting.
There are more of me as I have begun to enjoy rolling around and having pics taken of me. It’s quite an empowering thing for me right now- whereas Mr P isn’t bothered at all.
Mrs P x |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
We regularly say this too and the amount of threads about it show that it must be a bit of an issue!
I feel it just wastes time having to ask for pics of the M when it’s easy just to put at least one on. If the M is worried they’ll be put off after seeing pics of him then it’ll still be the same later on, difference being you’ve wasted our time by not having them on the profile in the first place!
I have to fancy both so why would any couple think I’d be happy to play without having seen them both first?!
TB |
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"We regularly say this too and the amount of threads about it show that it must be a bit of an issue!
I feel it just wastes time having to ask for pics of the M when it’s easy just to put at least one on. If the M is worried they’ll be put off after seeing pics of him then it’ll still be the same later on, difference being you’ve wasted our time by not having them on the profile in the first place!
I have to fancy both so why would any couple think I’d be happy to play without having seen them both first?!
TB"
we prefer profiles with pic’s of both. As we only meet at clubs, it is less of an issue in the end, but we always share pic’s of us both beforehand. It seems reasonable to at least have some shots of the guy though  |
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Our profile is mainly for Lucy and to find her playmates , but Ian does play sometimes but we have a few pcs of him on here , if we look at meeting a couple we would send pics of both of us with a message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s because the male half isn’t very attractive and for some reason they think by avoiding it it will be okay, sadly not. Not everyone is everyone’s taste and it’s even harder when In a couple I’ve experienced that myself that the female is nice but my partner says no about her and what she says stands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s because the male half isn’t very attractive and for some reason they think by avoiding it it will be okay, sadly not. Not everyone is everyone’s taste and it’s even harder when In a couple I’ve experienced that myself that the female is nice but my partner says no about him* and what she says stands."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish more couples would have pics of the male half... although on our profile there aren’t many of Mr P as he hates having his picture taken . However we usually send pics within the first 1-2 messages ! "
Yeah this....some of us guys ain't as photogenic as the other halfs are  kc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a few of the hubby on ours. We also hardly ever find any profiles with the photos male half or any likes for the hubbys photos on our own profile.
Like mentioned above, we are both straight so the attraction when meeting another couple needs to be recripicated for all people involved.
It’s a woman’s world.
I find that my pictures get a few fabs, and Anita does fab male photos too. I do only get about 10% of what Anita gets though.
Cal"
At 10% your doing a fuck load better then I ever did on any of our accounts 
kc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reckon if it’s all about the woman then swerve. We’ve more than once been approached by a “couple” which turned out to be a guy posting pics of his partner. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy. "
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
If he's not involved in any way, doesn't use the site or the forums then why not just have your own profile?
You'll show up in searches made by people searching for couples.
A |
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"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
If he's not involved in any way, doesn't use the site or the forums then why not just have your own profile?
You'll show up in searches made by people searching for couples.
A"
agree 100%...our view is a couples profile are for those couples that both play |
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"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
If he's not involved in any way, doesn't use the site or the forums then why not just have your own profile?
You'll show up in searches made by people searching for couples.
A
agree 100%...our view is a couples profile are for those couples that both play"
Agree too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reckon if it’s all about the woman then swerve. We’ve more than once been approached by a “couple” which turned out to be a guy posting pics of his partner."
Yeah. Then they ask to Kik message. When first message comes from male I ask all parties be in group chat. Slowly he disappears. Hmmmm |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
A"
Not if the man goes to the meets with her. |
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"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
A
Not if the man goes to the meets with her. "
what about a female profile but with profile text explaining accompanied with husband that does not play |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
A
Not if the man goes to the meets with her. "
Of course.
But if he doesn't then surely it's just a married/partnered person playing alone. There's plenty of those on site using single male/female profiles.
A |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Couples profile here but only I (female) play so no point having pics of my guy.
Playing devils advocate shouldn't it be a single female profile then?
A
Not if the man goes to the meets with her.
Of course.
But if he doesn't then surely it's just a married/partnered person playing alone. There's plenty of those on site using single male/female profiles.
A"
Her husband is a voyeur and watches the play
When we played the OH used to do that sometimes too, but it was still both of us meeting. He also never posts on the forum either .
If she had a single profile that says she meets with her husband then it would be reported as a couple profile and Admin would change it to a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our feeling is that a couples profile should be balanced and have pics and relevant information about both the male and female. In that way you can easily get a feel of what the couple are like and it's therefore a bit easier to determine whether there is that initial physical and mental attraction.
If a couples profile is mostly female-centric then we usually give it a miss no matter how hot the Mrs appears to be ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the many disappointments for us is that we nearly always have to ask for pics of the male half , then if we don’t fancy him after pictures are sent it makes it awakward.
We have stopped asking now and we generally only reply to people who have forwarded us a first message with pictures of both halves on .
It’s not hard to take photos these days. We aren’t models but our photos clearly show us both in all kinds of situations they are decent and not fuzzy and mostly all taken with a phone .
I reckon that's exactly why they don't have pics of the man on their profile. They know he will put people off meeting them.
Once they've sent pics of him they hope the other couple will feel too bad to turn them down and meet them anyway. "
Yep I reckon that how we got all our meets |
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By *venusWoman
over a year ago
London |
My wish would be for balanced pics from both M and F and also a picture of the couple together, and no dick pics! (I know some like it but it turns a lot of women off when all that’s offered in terms of images is a dick) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have pics of both but to be honest we dnt get a lot of couples contact us that i find attractive enough to meet or they arent interested in an interracial couple. My guy is very good looking and not afraid to show him but mo point if we dnt connect with a couple. Weve sent pics and its ended up as a waste of time. So we tend to meet single guys for me or bi fun. But if we get a couple we connect with we are more than happy to share both our pics. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It is always a difficult balance, we try to keep things even but as I like to take photos it becomes the norm for there to be more photos of Mrs than me. We tried to even things up this weekend with a few photos taken by Mrs T, the outfits were her idea. |
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"I reckon that's exactly why they don't have pics of the man on their profile. They know he will put people off meeting them.
Once they've sent pics of him they hope the other couple will feel too bad to turn them down and meet them anyway. "
Maybe we are screwed for other reasons then (namely Bob looks amazing naked, and is generally gorgeous to look at and I'm a minger ) |
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Had one recently from a "couple", no pix of the male at all on the profile and also not verified , when I queried this she said she had some in a "folder somewhere"...then was surprised when I said no thanks.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us (when we’re not hibernating like at the moment ) there is no point,since we’re looking for straight guys and nothing else"
Good luck with that on here then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We try and keep a balanced mix on here but it's not easy when he's not a fan of photos of his body and keeps saying it's not "perfect" enough to impress others.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't understand the point of not showing both members of the couple.
People can see both of us and decided there or then to message us or not xx
We are not everyone's cup of tea so why string people along xx |
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"Don't understand the point of not showing both members of the couple.
People can see both of us and decided there or then to message us or not xx
We are not everyone's cup of tea so why string people along xx"
Couldn't agree more, what you see is what you...Ah, the familiar sound of mass screaming to the hills! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have pics of both of us surely if you are playing and meeting as a couple looking to meet couples then you want to see both parts of the couple?
Just our view
T&L |
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"Don't understand the point of not showing both members of the couple.
People can see both of us and decided there or then to message us or not xx
We are not everyone's cup of tea so why string people along xx"
If we were everyone's cup of tea, we'd be mugs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi! We hope you've all had a lovely (and naughty) Christmas
We're fairly new to swinging and very new to swinging as a couple so we're still puzzling things out. One thing we've noticed is that there are often few (if any) details/pics for the male half of some MF couples even when they are hoping to meet other MF couples. We just wanted to ask if this is just the norm? Although we've tried to write a balanced profile, we're not sure how successful we've been in doing that!
Have to admit that it's a little disappointing for Em when a couple reach out but there isn't any info about the male half on a profile or in the message
We totally agree! Both for personal meets and for events (on both our profiles) it's annoying when a profile focuses on their lady.
A lack of information and imagery of the hubby gives the impression that they believe the man to be less important, which reflects how they view other couples. We always want to see both, and read about both. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't understand the point of not showing both members of the couple.
People can see both of us and decided there or then to message us or not xx
We are not everyone's cup of tea so why string people along xx
Couldn't agree more, what you see is what you...Ah, the familiar sound of mass screaming to the hills!"
No screaming here Grin xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't understand the point of not showing both members of the couple.
People can see both of us and decided there or then to message us or not xx
We are not everyone's cup of tea so why string people along xx
If we were everyone's cup of tea, we'd be mugs "
Lmao xxxx |
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Annoys the hell out of us. Yes, the female body is often more aesthetically appealing, but if you are running a couples profile (where both participate in meets) , then the male half should make an appearance in the photos (and that doesn't mean just a penis shot)!
Rant over! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a pet hate of mine!!!
A couples profile activity seeking another couple should show pics of both on the profile. We’ve tried to have a balance on ours. There has to be mutual attraction so how can I decide that if there are no pics of the Male on the profile we’re looking at just endless pics of the female? I appreciate some guys aren’t keen on having their pic taken but one or two (not just cock) would be fine
Inked x |
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