FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What are we doing wrong?
What are we doing wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful.  |
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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago
Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish) |
It may be the case that most of the people around you are looking for full swing but that would be a generalisation.
I think you have a nice profile and some great pics so I'd recommend waiting things out or making the first move yourselves. Oh and ORANGE (yes I did read through the profile).
Good luck and we wish you all the best. |
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Your profile looks great! I'd say the fact that you keep leaving the site and creating a new profile may be putting some off? It looks like someone who keeps getting removed from the site and making a new couples profile.
Visiting clubs would be a good way to proceed. We're very soft swap ourselves and have never had problems finding people to play with in clubs without exceeding our limits |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi. "
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may be the age of the female partner and perhaps your fairly large age gap which may mean you fall through the gap of what people are looking for at either end of the spectrum... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile looks great! I'd say the fact that you keep leaving the site and creating a new profile may be putting some off? It looks like someone who keeps getting removed from the site and making a new couples profile.
Visiting clubs would be a good way to proceed. We're very soft swap ourselves and have never had problems finding people to play with in clubs without exceeding our limits "
Thanks, yea we see what you mean.
We did visit a club on Sunday but wasn’t many couples there. Will have to try again on a couples only evening. |
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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago
wherever |
"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi.
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral."
Ok I know everyone has to try somewhere but this would put me off “willing to try” I’d be worried she really wasn’t into it at all |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol |
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"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol "
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of alot |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of alot"
We think it’s nice to go out and have a bit of banter in a bar before moving onto other things, sometimes difficult in a club to hear what people are saying and not always guaranteed a play room and time can be limited |
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"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of alot
We think it’s nice to go out and have a bit of banter in a bar before moving onto other things, sometimes difficult in a club to hear what people are saying and not always guaranteed a play room and time can be limited "
That's why Chams our favourite, always get on-site hotel room  |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of a lot
We think it’s nice to go out and have a bit of banter in a bar before moving onto other things, sometimes difficult in a club to hear what people are saying and not always guaranteed a play room and time can be limited
That's why Chams our favourite, always get on-site hotel room "
Never been Chams too far to travel |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
Nothing wrong from my point of view, we're not into the same things but that's not something to change it's your preference and plenty of people are into the same. I guess it's just a case of talking to more couples and finding some you click with, we must've spoken to hundreds in the last year (only meeting for 4months of that) and have met about 5 as a result of fab (some just socials) going to chams is far less labor intensive and we may switch to just that in the future. |
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"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of a lot
We think it’s nice to go out and have a bit of banter in a bar before moving onto other things, sometimes difficult in a club to hear what people are saying and not always guaranteed a play room and time can be limited
That's why Chams our favourite, always get on-site hotel room
Never been Chams too far to travel"
Its 15mins from West Brom. We often do 1 x night at Chams & 1 x night Xtasia- make a weekend of it as good 2hr plus drive for us xx |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"There doesn’t appear to be many couples that want to play this year, doesn’t matter if soft swap or full, we have it ok for parties and clubs but as for just meeting a couple on their own off here either home or hotel is a rarity this year, we don’t even look anymore lol
We're clubs only, looks like the preference of a lot
We think it’s nice to go out and have a bit of banter in a bar before moving onto other things, sometimes difficult in a club to hear what people are saying and not always guaranteed a play room and time can be limited
That's why Chams our favourite, always get on-site hotel room
Never been Chams too far to travel
Its 15mins from West Brom. We often do 1 x night at Chams & 1 x night Xtasia- make a weekend of it as good 2hr plus drive for us xx"
We usually have an early start for racing on a Sunday so don’t want to be too far from where we are, only really have the time to stay over from Christmas to mid March when going a club |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful. "
Profile looks good. Like has been said, clubs are your best bet a lot of armchair swingers on here now apparently. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A club may work well for you op?  "
We tried Chams on Sunday but kept being followed around by 3-4 creepy guys aged 50+ who just kept staring which made us feel quite uncomfortable.
We’ll have to try a couples only night and see how we get on. |
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"A club may work well for you op?
We tried Chams on Sunday but kept being followed around by 3-4 creepy guys aged 50+ who just kept staring which made us feel quite uncomfortable.
We’ll have to try a couples only night and see how we get on."
That shouldn't be allowed to happen in a club. If you don't want to ask them to stop then you should speak to the staff about them x |
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"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi.
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral."
What about the other guy is he just there to sit and watch. From what you have said here seems that your gf only wants to play with you and not the other couples man. That would put me off straight away but I do hope you both get what you want and have a lot of fun doing it the way you want it. |
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"A club may work well for you op?
We tried Chams on Sunday but kept being followed around by 3-4 creepy guys aged 50+ who just kept staring which made us feel quite uncomfortable.
We’ll have to try a couples only night and see how we get on.
That shouldn't be allowed to happen in a club. If you don't want to ask them to stop then you should speak to the staff about them x"
Agreed we went to our first club about 2 weeks ago and was told that if you say no that means no and the people/ person you have said no to should take it a go else where. We tested it with a single guy and he took the no and didnt bother us for the rest of the night. |
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Hello!
I would doubt that it’s been “real” women who you have been chatting to online, if it’s a genuine women then maybe have a phone conversation so you can put your minds at rest that it’s a real woman and not some bloke getting his rocks off!
Good luck, there are single women out there that meet couples, you just need to be patient |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful. "
Looks fine to me. Lovely photos. Wish we were 25 years younger!!
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"We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
Seems fine to us. We'd be happy to meet if we were in your age range, and we're just up the road
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful. "
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"We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful. "
Hi - your profile seems fine. It's very comprehensive, unlike ours and that doesn't seem to affect us. The only factor I can see which could be influencing your experience on Fab is the narrow age range which you have chosen. Obviously that's your decision, but most of the couples we have been in contact with on Fab are 40+ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for about a year now and have rejoined as we’d like to meet couples and singles females.
As you can expect, we had no issues finding single men but couples and females is proving hard.
We’re looking for soft swap only as we’re new so is this the problem?
If you could have a look at our profile and let us know any potential issues, we’d be grateful. "
Hi, not sure, soft swap puts some off, but pics are OK and we certainly wouldn't be upset to get a message for you.
Maybe that's the issue, we find most couples seem to sit around waiting to be contacted, or are very lazy with hi how's you messages. We had one couple send us 3 of them in a row. Maybe make your opening message more interesting.
Soft swap can be as much fun and more satisfying! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone for your input. Yea we can see the age range could be an issue. As a 21yr old female though, i’d prefer not playing with guys over 40. No offence meant, just my personal preference  |
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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago
Bridgwater, Somerset |
We are the same, looking for soft swap to start with or just girl on girl and are having the same issues. Have been to chams a few times but need to make the leap of getting chatting to other couples there. Think the comments about the age gap maybe the same for us too |
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"Thanks everyone for your input. Yea we can see the age range could be an issue. As a 21yr old female though, i’d prefer not playing with guys over 40. No offence meant, just my personal preference "
Maybe you should look at Killing Kittens parties if partner aesthetics are a priority. Be prepared to get your purse out as it’s a pricey night out. Still no guarantee of play and tbh it sounds as if the ladies are there to perform for the Male half and sort him out at the end.
Very few couples or single women will want that scenario. If the female half wants to meet ladies alone then I’m sure the response would be different.
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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago
Bridgwater, Somerset |
Though had a couple of messages today who said they weren't interested when I said we were only interested in a social and soft play to start with. The search continues, it's incredibly hard for newbies  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We thought some of the men were rude enough but couples should know better and at least be honest and say they ain’t interested instead of just ignoring and blocking us after sending our profile pictures.
It’s not like we’re super ugly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi.
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral."
‘Willing to try’ would not be for me. Your profile says straight so you’d be passed by. Sorry but I’d not be wanting to play with someone who just wants to see what it’s like.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi.
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral.
‘Willing to try’ would not be for me. Your profile says straight so you’d be passed by. Sorry but I’d not be wanting to play with someone who just wants to see what it’s like.
"
Yea we understand that which is why she changed it back from bi-curious to straight and removed that part of our profile text. |
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"We thought some of the men were rude enough but couples should know better and at least be honest and say they ain’t interested instead of just ignoring and blocking us after sending our profile pictures.
It’s not like we’re super ugly."
You look very nice. We tried to wink you but were out of age range |
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"Though had a couple of messages today who said they weren't interested when I said we were only interested in a social and soft play to start with. The search continues, it's incredibly hard for newbies "
Stick with it you'll get there. You're right near us by the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for your input. Yea we can see the age range could be an issue. As a 21yr old female though, i’d prefer not playing with guys over 40. No offence meant, just my personal preference "
I can’t see anything at all wrong with your profile!
It could just be that there aren’t many couples meeting!
You are well within your rights to meet who you like, so if under 40 is what you want, that’s fine.
There will be people who use the forums or their profile statuses who are older than 40, and will try to get your attention in hope you’ll message them and change your filters which can be annoying! A block is good for that!
I haven’t tried a club yet so I can’t recommend. I’d say stick at it, send messages yourself if you aren’t already & good luck!
Hope you get the experiences you want.  |
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"Thanks everyone for your input. Yea we can see the age range could be an issue. As a 21yr old female though, i’d prefer not playing with guys over 40. No offence meant, just my personal preference "
To be fair many over 40s would feel the same about you. Our children are both older than you and that just seems wrong from the perspective of NSA sex.
Given the age gap and your age, I do think that couples only club nights are your best bet.
In a club it is based on personal interaction and attraction rather that statistics. We find clubs work really well for us and rarely meet via Fab.
Nita |
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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago
Bridgwater, Somerset |
"Though had a couple of messages today who said they weren't interested when I said we were only interested in a social and soft play to start with. The search continues, it's incredibly hard for newbies
Stick with it you'll get there. You're right near us by the way"
I did check out your profile, exactly what I am looking for as well. Unfortunately we aren't in the right age range for each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious, how would soft swap work with a female? Esp if female half is not bi.
The gf is willing to try playing with a female at least once and going from there. It’ll involve the gf and I both playing with the female using mouths, fingers and toys. Then us playing with the gf and then them giving me oral.
‘Willing to try’ would not be for me. Your profile says straight so you’d be passed by. Sorry but I’d not be wanting to play with someone who just wants to see what it’s like.
Yea we understand that which is why she changed it back from bi-curious to straight and removed that part of our profile text."
But surely being bi curious is better because that’s what you are saying she is. Matters not really. Hope you find what you are looking for |
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Wondering about the same thing. 