FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What’s the point??
What’s the point??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this? |
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"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?"
I don't understand the question |
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Welcome to the reality of Fab Op
Don’t waste time on hear it’s full of time wasters
Get yourself out to clubs and meet the real swingers and learn about the lifestyle then you’ll have lots of fun
Either that or you join instashag but I think it’s fully prescribed at the moment
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We've had single males message us although we have specified it's not what we're looking for. We do respond back and let them know we are not interested. Some do carry on and have a normal conversation which is fine but then there's so many pests that don't take no for an answer so they get blocked.
But I know what you mean with a sudden conversation / communication ending abruptly with no explanation. Quite ignorant of some do do that.
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're probably putting people off by giving times you're available...kinda sounds like you're booking an appointment for sex?"
I only say when I am available when asked so I doubt it’s that
But on a positive note I have had one woman message me back explaining my message was deleted in a mass message clear out and another say she isn’t looking for hook ups at the moment |
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"Yeah this site is pointless 
I pretty much agree!  "
I wouldn’t say that ever
If guys use just for messaging to get a shag then it’s next to useless however if used correctly to find out what’s going on where and when with whom it’s really useful and effort in the right areas will up the fun levels.
That said there was a black guy on here with about 500 veris who posted on a thread that he was willing to help people struggling and guess what he got very few replies . |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah this site is pointless "
Really? I'm sure the ladies who verified you 6 times wouldn't be happy with that comment. I only hope they aren't reading this, otherwise it will be even more pointless for you! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"If you guys think this site is pointless, you need to take a look at yourselves as well. No one is forcing you to stay.
Nail head and hit come to mind"
Thankyou. It's not the sites fault for people's lack of success. They need to put the effort in themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Looks like I kicked up a bit of a hornets nest here sorry I didn’t mean to do that
My OP was just to get feedback whether this was a common problem and if there might be genuine reasons people send a friend invite and message you and then go cold and I got two good reasons why today off the ladies who messaged me
I will keep at it I am a decent guy and I will find the right people for me for sure also someone gave me a piece of advice,”think of it as a filter for the wrong ones”
I was already thinking of joining the Townhouse so thanks for the suggestion |
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"If you guys think this site is pointless, you need to take a look at yourselves as well. No one is forcing you to stay.
Nail head and hit come to mind
Thankyou. It's not the sites fault for people's lack of success. They need to put the effort in themselves. "
I know there’s a few of people like yourself who have given advice on such things but as I keep saying who listens?
While I’m sometimes willing to get on my white horse to defend the persecuted single men species other times I think why bother? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Looks like I kicked up a bit of a hornets nest here sorry I didn’t mean to do that
My OP was just to get feedback whether this was a common problem and if there might be genuine reasons people send a friend invite and message you and then go cold and I got two good reasons why today off the ladies who messaged me
I will keep at it I am a decent guy and I will find the right people for me for sure also someone gave me a piece of advice,”think of it as a filter for the wrong ones”
I was already thinking of joining the Townhouse so thanks for the suggestion"
Probably just because they want to see your friends only pics OP. I don't add people I haven't met to friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention"
Well that pretty much sums up the attitude of the majority of fems, thats why i normally dont even bother to contribute |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"If you guys think this site is pointless, you need to take a look at yourselves as well. No one is forcing you to stay.
Nail head and hit come to mind
Thankyou. It's not the sites fault for people's lack of success. They need to put the effort in themselves.
I know there’s a few of people like yourself who have given advice on such things but as I keep saying who listens?
While I’m sometimes willing to get on my white horse to defend the persecuted single men species other times I think why bother?"
I do try to help a lot of newbies with advice on my profile and pm's if they need, I'm rapidly beginning to wonder why I'm bothering at all tbh. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
Well that pretty much sums up the attitude of the majority of fems, thats why i normally dont even bother to contribute "
Actually it doesn't. I think people are getting a bit fed up with helping people who refuse to help themselves but feel fab owes them meets and should do all the work for them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention"
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!! "
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets. "
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me on finding my feet on Fab check over my profile etc |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets.
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me on finding my feet on Fab check over my profile etc "
Your profile looks fine to me, nice pics and a good bio. Maybe a few more torso or bum shots in public ones would help. Keep smiling and I wish you the best of luck. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oooooooo I say  nice profile ... I just peeked xx
I know! Ding dong
Why thank you Kitty "
I wouldn’t kick you out of bed! Might tie you to it and keep you there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets.
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me on finding my feet on Fab check over my profile etc
Your profile looks fine to me, nice pics and a good bio. Maybe a few more torso or bum shots in public ones would help. Keep smiling and I wish you the best of luck. xx"
Thanks for that and I will try to get some more pics on it’s hard when you’re the photographer and need to use a mirror
And a FFFM my luck seems to have changed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
Well that pretty much sums up the attitude of the majority of fems, thats why i normally dont even bother to contribute "
That just sounds even more defeatist and makes you get passed over even quicker. Having a laugh and a smile goes a long way in this world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oooooooo I say nice profile ... I just peeked xx
I know! Ding dong
Why thank you Kitty
I wouldn’t kick you out of bed! Might tie you to it and keep you there "
If you are ever in Wales that’s an offer I would be mad to refuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!! "
Its a bit sombre |
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets.
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me on finding my feet on Fab check over my profile etc
Your profile looks fine to me, nice pics and a good bio. Maybe a few more torso or bum shots in public ones would help. Keep smiling and I wish you the best of luck. xx"
More bum and torso shots just so you can perve them lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
Its a bit sombre "
I can imagine, lucky my tickets got lost in the post |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree!
Bottom lip hanging convention
You so funny and I don’t have tickets for that convention...bummer!!!
That's excellent news OP, you wouldn't want those tickets.
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me on finding my feet on Fab check over my profile etc
Your profile looks fine to me, nice pics and a good bio. Maybe a few more torso or bum shots in public ones would help. Keep smiling and I wish you the best of luck. xx
More bum and torso shots just so you can perve them lol"
Considering how nice she has been I am happy for the lady to have a perv |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oooooooo I say nice profile ... I just peeked xx
I know! Ding dong
Why thank you Kitty
I wouldn’t kick you out of bed! Might tie you to it and keep you there
If you are ever in Wales that’s an offer I would be mad to refuse "
I’ll hold you to that x |
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"Yeah this site is pointless
I pretty much agree! "
Really...actually found it very good. .provided u have your fake radar on.. after chatting for a while always good to test if they are interested in meeting..probably not ideal in first reply...  |
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What's the point? It's helpful to have reasonable expectations, so that you don't become disheartened etc - it takes a long time for you new single men to become established here. This inevitably means that a lot of new single guys give up, so established users often prefer people who've been around some time, as you'll potentially be more reliable.
Your profile's fairly good - if we were matched, I'd be impressed.
In the meantime you'll need to decide if you can stick it out, with lots of effort made, apparently for little short-term reward. As long as you're first messages are targeted well, your profile is top notch and you get known, you're largely doing most of what you can. Attending any Fab socials is a good move too: there are perhaps some before Christmas that would give you a chance to meet others. Having friends and support here is great, so that you don't potentially feel isolated. Other than that, swingers clubs are potentially valuable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's the point? It's helpful to have reasonable expectations, so that you don't become disheartened etc - it takes a long time for you new single men to become established here. This inevitably means that a lot of new single guys give up, so established users often prefer people who've been around some time, as you'll potentially be more reliable.
Your profile's fairly good - if we were matched, I'd be impressed.
In the meantime you'll need to decide if you can stick it out, with lots of effort made, apparently for little short-term reward. As long as you're first messages are targeted well, your profile is top notch and you get known, you're largely doing most of what you can. Attending any Fab socials is a good move too: there are perhaps some before Christmas that would give you a chance to meet others. Having friends and support here is great, so that you don't potentially feel isolated. Other than that, swingers clubs are potentially valuable."
Thanks Sophie I appreciate that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?"
If you're not comfortable with everyone seeing your private pictures why are you accepting friends requests from people of the slightest acquaintance? |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?"
If you really want to get rid of pic collector types put all your friends only pics to private.
S |
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"Welcome to the reality of Fab Op
Don’t waste time on hear it’s full of time wasters
Get yourself out to clubs and meet the real swingers and learn about the lifestyle then you’ll have lots of fun.
"
Completely agree.  |
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"If you guys think this site is pointless, you need to take a look at yourselves as well. No one is forcing you to stay.
Nail head and hit come to mind
Thankyou. It's not the sites fault for people's lack of success. They need to put the effort in themselves. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?
If you're not comfortable with everyone seeing your private pictures why are you accepting friends requests from people of the slightest acquaintance?"
I am just not comfortable with everyone seeing them yet as I am new to the site and as I had been speaking via message before accepting I thought it would be rude not to accept the request
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?
If you really want to get rid of pic collector types put all your friends only pics to private.
S"
Not a bad idea but I was happy for genuine friends to see the pics and still am maybe I shouldn’t be such a prude and shrug it off I have nothing to be ashamed of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op you will probably send a hundred messages to get 1 reply some days bit stick with it and be polite and you will reap the rewards for your efforts,those guys who say this site is a waste of time are doing it wrong ;hell of an ugly old got like me can get meets and regular ones then you know the so called handsome men are doing something wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op you have a really good profile there and have come across polite and approachable which shall stead you well here.
Putting you on our hotlist to watch your journey and ladies be gentle with him.
Enjoy darling.
Psyche  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Op you have a really good profile there and have come across polite and approachable which shall stead you well here.
Putting you on our hotlist to watch your journey and ladies be gentle with him.
Enjoy darling.
Psyche "
This. Nice pm's as well. Very polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i find it very difficult on here, shame really but dont think it cant be help. There an many great people on here that are genuine, but there are just as many timewasters. but dont worry, keep pushing forward |
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Op, your profile is good and makesyou seem very approachable, the will fill in later brigade could learn alot from you. The only thing that might hold you back is the fact that you can't accommodate. Accommodation doesn't need to be your home, could be a hotel for the night ect . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op, your profile is good and makesyou seem very approachable, the will fill in later brigade could learn alot from you. The only thing that might hold you back is the fact that you can't accommodate. Accommodation doesn't need to be your home, could be a hotel for the night ect ."
Once again thank you all for your feedback and nice comments |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Polite, friendly, sense of humour, fit, good profile and easy on the eye
I reckon you could do quite well and should get yourself to clubs.
Nita"
Thanks my male ego is getting a major boost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah this site is pointless
Really? I'm sure the ladies who verified you 6 times wouldn't be happy with that comment. I only hope they aren't reading this, otherwise it will be even more pointless for you!"
Word!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?"
Mate look at the other threads? Half of them are about how to get meets? Your in the same position as virtually everyone else? My advice join pof and match.com you will definitely get more action. Go to clubs is also much better. Your wasting your time on fab |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?
Mate look at the other threads? Half of them are about how to get meets? Your in the same position as virtually everyone else? My advice join pof and match.com you will definitely get more action. Go to clubs is also much better. Your wasting your time on fab "
Most on dating sites are on here in my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?
Mate look at the other threads? Half of them are about how to get meets? Your in the same position as virtually everyone else? My advice join pof and match.com you will definitely get more action. Go to clubs is also much better. Your wasting your time on fab
Most on dating sites are on here in my experience. "
Yep I see plenty of women on both as well, fab used to be great but not anymore, I'm just talking from experience? Not even close to getting a meet on here for weeks but last 2 weekends I've had dates with 2 absolute stunner, the one from last night is a definite keeper will be coming off fab again because of dating her but to be honest it's no loss and I can't see me coming back. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I am new to Fab but over the few weeks I have been on I have had replies to messages and friend invites sent to me which I accepted once we have chatted
Some just send messages which never go anywhere or after giving times I am available I don’t get a reply back etc
I have a few friends only pics I am not comfortable everyone seeing (yet) which they can see as I am giving them some trust but why bother sending a friend invite and going to the trouble of messaging? I don’t get it
Anyone else had this problem or can give me an insight into this?
Mate look at the other threads? Half of them are about how to get meets? Your in the same position as virtually everyone else? My advice join pof and match.com you will definitely get more action. Go to clubs is also much better. Your wasting your time on fab
Most on dating sites are on here in my experience.
Yep I see plenty of women on both as well, fab used to be great but not anymore, I'm just talking from experience? Not even close to getting a meet on here for weeks but last 2 weekends I've had dates with 2 absolute stunner, the one from last night is a definite keeper will be coming off fab again because of dating her but to be honest it's no loss and I can't see me coming back. "
Good luck to you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile could be improved - both photos and text. I don’t know what your level of written communication is like but keeping a convo going is a skill. "
How could they be improved?
And my written conversation skills are pretty good |
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"Your profile could be improved - both photos and text. I don’t know what your level of written communication is like but keeping a convo going is a skill.
How could they be improved?
And my written conversation skills are pretty good "
It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point. |
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OP give it 6 months and you'll understand that what you mention is normal here. It's finding the good in amongst the dull/weird/creepy/complicated that makes Fab worthwhile. And that does not happen overnight |
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"It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point. "
Hi Steve |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile could be improved - both photos and text. I don’t know what your level of written communication is like but keeping a convo going is a skill.
How could they be improved?
And my written conversation skills are pretty good
It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point. "
You make an excellent point I will see what I can do that
Thanks for the advice |
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"It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point.
Hi Steve "
Hello, light of Grantham  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile could be improved - both photos and text. I don’t know what your level of written communication is like but keeping a convo going is a skill.
How could they be improved?
And my written conversation skills are pretty good
It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point. "
Well I have done my best to present myself honestly and eliminated a ton of I’s have a look and see what you think
Constructive criticism is always welcome |
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"Your profile could be improved - both photos and text. I don’t know what your level of written communication is like but keeping a convo going is a skill.
How could they be improved?
And my written conversation skills are pretty good
It’s a case of Social Darwinism in some ways. Your profile starts each little bit with “I” - it’s very much about what you want. Nothing much about what you can offer. Why would a lady choose you and not me? Think about your unique selling point.
Well I have done my best to present myself honestly and eliminated a ton of I’s have a look and see what you think
Constructive criticism is always welcome "
It’s an improvement |
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