FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Making the First Move
Making the First Move
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Break the ice and have fun...
Mmmm... Let's put it this way... We are here on fab to connect and meet, the same thing as when we go clubs/attend parties...
We go out with intent to meet like-minded individuals, have a chat and have fun.
Please take my advice...
Take your pleasure seriously!
Mr Strokes  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
We have felt your pain! It is weird, sometimes we feel happy to go up to anyone, other times we wait and see. Maybe its the vibe of the club or not seeing someone we really fancy...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
Clubs with bar areas, either selling their drinks or serving you your own, are good for this.
Easy to have a bit of banter and test the water when getting a top up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
We totally understand you! Feel the same. And to make matters worse, neither of us can seem to pick up signals once we've walked through the door. One lovely couple last year went to the effort of finding us, and throwing someone out of a room so we could go in it. Even after they locked the door with them in the room with us, Her hadn't clicked that they were remotely interested in us! (you know who you are xxxx Thank you again!!).
So while we know we need to man up and get a grip, equally if others could also be quite up front with us, we'd be very grateful! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want""
This is pretty much our game plan  It leaves the door open for them to ditch us or to join us.
What also usually works for us is to just go and start playing and see if anyone takes a spot along side us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want""
A great line for a couple. That sounds classy and cool.
However
"I'm going to have a wank now. You're welcome to join me later if you want". Not quite the same is it?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.
That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.
That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision "
That is a great idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ediMan
over a year ago
Leeds |
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
Hmm when I visit clubs I’m generally quite friendly and not always looking to play with everyone I speak to, I’m pretty confident with singles and couples but I’m a bit more cautious with couples for some reason as I don’t always ls get the same friendliness back especially from the men, I’m not sure why nothing wrong with being courteous  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.
That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision
That is a great idea."
Of course it is, I'll use it next time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is quite an interesting topic, I talk to couples quite a lot at clubs and they all say then same thing... no one talks to them! I guess if one of the couples fails to initiate a conversation first then no ones going to talk!
As a single guy attending clubs, I mostly talk with no expectations. Sure I may fancy the female, but never expect anything! If they don’t like me, their soon move on or shut me down, either way I know where I stand.
Other times you can have a nice conversation, but it doesn’t lead to anything and it’s quite refreshing!
Fact is, if you like the appearance of a couple, single male / female.... talk to them! No ones going to be rude, as we’re all in the same position.
But No thanks is a no and as long as it’s consensual then all’s good! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."
That's interesting. I think we assumed that the ladies would be bombarded by both couples and men. I guess it's hard for a couple to judge whether a single female is open to couples or whether they are only looking for men (and vice versa). It's one reason we msg ladies in advance of going to a club.
I wonder if we should all wear colour coded labels! Left half what we are (M/F/Cpl) and right half what we're looking for!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
they are there for same reason as you just take the plunge select a couple and stay focused |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
More people should make the first move. If their not interested they will let you know. Old saying ( If you ask you don’t get).
I was blatant to one woman once. ( way out my league) 
And she only said yes. O boy what fun we had.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lots of people find it difficult (including us) we never know when to make the move, think everyone has a fear of rejection, we’d welcome ideas, clubs we struggle with |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."
Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.
Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time! "
Why would you presume that? Defo give it a try |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nRachCouple
over a year ago
Willenhall |
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."
Wow really, wasn't expecting it to be that way round. First time at a club for us tomorrow but we're definitely more interested in single ladies and will certainly be risking rejection to get one. After a drink or two anyway |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We rarely go to clubs because we have a perception that everyone there knows each other, and we know nobody. I suppose it's a self fulfilling perception really. It is a difficult barrier to overcome.
I also think that we are over concerned about our age, and expect to be rejected because of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have always had fun in clubs, sometimes we feel outgoing and approach others, other times we fancy being chased!
You never need to worry about age in a club. We put an age ranges on here as we generally prefer people in a certain age range, but when you meet people it simply comes down to attraction -a major advantage of a club! Time to go again we think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.
Wow really, wasn't expecting it to be that way round. First time at a club for us tomorrow but we're definitely more interested in single ladies and will certainly be risking rejection to get one. After a drink or two anyway "
I wish more people would. Couples complain they can't find single ladies yet don't bother to approach them in clubs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.
Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time! "
It's one of the main reasons I go to a club. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes we're a shy couple in a club too, we chat with people but we're terrible at picking up signals to progress it further. You can also throw us in the same boat as not talking to single ladies because we also assume she's getting enough hassle off others so we don't want to add to that or come across as unicorn hunters. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."
I need to hang out at the bar more!!! I’m usually in the jacuzzi!!! Obviously wrong place.... x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.
Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.
Anyone else feel this? Xx"
Yes we do that's why like the Jacuzzi at chams as things can start in there and move on to a room. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want"
A great line for a couple. That sounds classy and cool.
"
Does it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
