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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay so it’s been a year now since I last had sex. There I said it.
Now, that’s mainly been through choice. Had a rough time of it healthwise which recently resulted in an operation to remove a tumour.
Now I’m healing, I think it’s time to get back on the horse, the only problem is I don’t have the first clue how to do so.
I can’t even go to a club at the moment as I don’t drive right now, plus I’m worried my scar being on display (its rather big along my left side) might be a turn off for women there.
Any advice on how to get things going again? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Talk to local people on here message them use the chatrooms start up conversations and see what follows. "
Messaging women is easy, getting replies is where it gets difficult ha |
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Forums and chat rooms can be an awesome way of meeting people and making friends in the scene. Just join in with the general conversation, be polite, show your face not your cock if you cam and people will gradually get to know you. Maybe look and see if there’s an organised social in your area that you can get to on public transport too.
When you feel confident enough and ready, clubs could be the next stage. It’s very possible to get to a lot of clubs by public transport, I used to do it all the time as a single lady as I’ve only learned to drive since meeting hubby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just chat as much as you can and see if you can find someone you really get on with.. similar happened to me. Took over a year off for surgeries and had to take it very easy for a while. Still not rebuilt the confidence enough for clubs or groups but managed to build a few great friendships with people who understood my situation and were patient. Just be you..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, I’m still very self-conscious about the scar.
I never had the best of luck before anyways, but now there’s a little voice in the back of my head that says now the scar is there no one is gonna want to touch me, and I need to learn to ignore it I guess...
Baby steps for now.. |
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"[Removed by poster at 19/10/18 12:58:45]"
Just wanted to say that your scar may work for you. I’m sure some would quite possibly find it a turn on. Embrace yourself and your scars as much as you can! X good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 19/10/18 12:58:45]
Just wanted to say that your scar may work for you. I’m sure some would quite possibly find it a turn on. Embrace yourself and your scars as much as you can! X good luck. "
I guess I could always say I was bitten by a shark or something else equally macho |
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"[Removed by poster at 19/10/18 12:58:45]
Just wanted to say that your scar may work for you. I’m sure some would quite possibly find it a turn on. Embrace yourself and your scars as much as you can! X good luck.
I guess I could always say I was bitten by a shark or something else equally macho "
You should see the shark works...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 19/10/18 12:58:45]
Just wanted to say that your scar may work for you. I’m sure some would quite possibly find it a turn on. Embrace yourself and your scars as much as you can! X good luck.
I guess I could always say I was bitten by a shark or something else equally macho
You should see the shark works...
"
That’s better than saying I was in a knife fight.. cos it’d look like I lost ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're a good looking man, so no issues with attraction I wouldn't have thought.
Don't try and get back on the horse, aim for a pony first and build up.
Good luck."
Well thank you for compliment, but not many women round here seem to see me that way ha
Not quite sure what a pony would entail on here but I’m gonna take babysteps and see how we go x |
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"You're a good looking man, so no issues with attraction I wouldn't have thought.
Don't try and get back on the horse, aim for a pony first and build up.
Good luck.
Well thank you for compliment, but not many women round here seem to see me that way ha
Not quite sure what a pony would entail on here but I’m gonna take babysteps and see how we go x"
You're welcome.
What I mean by my pony reference is that rather than aiming for full on sex (ie the getting back on the horse as mentioned in your post) you aim lower (ie a pony  ). So chat to women in the forum, in real life, in the chat rooms. Flirt a little, date a little just enjoy womens company and gradually your confidence will return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks guys, I’m still very self-conscious about the scar.
I never had the best of luck before anyways, but now there’s a little voice in the back of my head that says now the scar is there no one is gonna want to touch me, and I need to learn to ignore it I guess...
Baby steps for now.. "
You’d be surprised how many of us women there are who don’t care about scars, stretch marks, and all the other stuff that may make us insecure!
I see where you’re coming from though, I don’t like my stretch marks and even know I feel funny when someone touches them, but I know mostly people don’t mind!
All you can do is be yourself, send nice messages and hope for a reply!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're a good looking man, so no issues with attraction I wouldn't have thought.
Don't try and get back on the horse, aim for a pony first and build up.
Good luck.
Well thank you for compliment, but not many women round here seem to see me that way ha
Not quite sure what a pony would entail on here but I’m gonna take babysteps and see how we go x
You're welcome.
What I mean by my pony reference is that rather than aiming for full on sex (ie the getting back on the horse as mentioned in your post) you aim lower (ie a pony ). So chat to women in the forum, in real life, in the chat rooms. Flirt a little, date a little just enjoy womens company and gradually your confidence will return. "
Ah right haha, yeah that’s what I was planning to do, I wasn’t gonna jump straight in ha. I’m just nervous about how they’ll react when the time comes and the scar is on show |
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"You're a good looking man, so no issues with attraction I wouldn't have thought.
Don't try and get back on the horse, aim for a pony first and build up.
Good luck.
Well thank you for compliment, but not many women round here seem to see me that way ha
Not quite sure what a pony would entail on here but I’m gonna take babysteps and see how we go x
You're welcome.
What I mean by my pony reference is that rather than aiming for full on sex (ie the getting back on the horse as mentioned in your post) you aim lower (ie a pony ). So chat to women in the forum, in real life, in the chat rooms. Flirt a little, date a little just enjoy womens company and gradually your confidence will return.
Ah right haha, yeah that’s what I was planning to do, I wasn’t gonna jump straight in ha. I’m just nervous about how they’ll react when the time comes and the scar is on show"
The thing is not one of us on here has a perfect, unblemished body. I have a scar on my back from spinal surgery and the most godawful feet. I always say if someone walked in on me in the shower I would throw a towel over my feet first. The things we focus on ourselves are rarely what others do.
A lot of women find scars interesting and rather attractive. They appeal to the nurturing side of their nature and they want to find out the story behind them. Say you got it protecting orphaned babies from a grizzly bear... |
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I really don't think you should worry about the scar. You might get the odd question but I imagine most women would be like me, might wonder and want to ask but not want to be rude. A scar certainly wouldn't be offputting for me. I do have a particularly ugly one myself from a minor surgery, no one has ever mentioned it. |
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