FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to approach a couple friend
How to approach a couple friend
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. |
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"Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. "
So do they know about what you do and what's their thoughts on swinging in general. When you find the lata out then actually say oh we know of a site. Or they could stop talking to you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. "
strip poker |
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I think you need to do tgis step by step instead of going at it like a bull in a china shop.
I would first try an judge their openness to the scene. Maybe raise swinging in general (not say your swingers) in conversation.
Then if the signals are good you could raise that your swingers and show them fab.
Then if that goes down well try invite them to a club so they can see what it's all about without pressure to sleep with you guys.
Then if they like the swinging seen and turned on by the idea of playing with you both they will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t loose a friendship for a cheap thrill and a bit of fun ..
Simply not worth it .."
I would agree with that if they are good friends why potentially spoil it there are lots of couples on here who already swing to contact. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"I think you need to do tgis step by step instead of going at it like a bull in a china shop.
I would first try an judge their openness to the scene. Maybe raise swinging in general (not say your swingers) in conversation.
Then if the signals are good you could raise that your swingers and show them fab.
Then if that goes down well try invite them to a club so they can see what it's all about without pressure to sleep with you guys.
Then if they like the swinging seen and turned on by the idea of playing with you both they will."
Good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have a think about how you'd feel if they were absolutely horrified and told your entire town that you're creepy and tried to have sex with them even though they didn't want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a recipe for disaster. If you think the possibility of losing the friendship completely is worth the risjk then go for it. But I'd personally look for a couple on here or at a club that are far more likely to be receptive to your advances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Safest way is to be completely passive. Have a few drinks one night and tell them you once tried swinging. Make sure you put it in your rear view mirror and laugh it off. Sure it was fun. But it's in the past. If they ask if you'd try it again just look quizzical and say you hadn't really thought about it.
Then leave them to stew on that. If they start getting funny about it you can explain that it was just something silly you tried once and you didn't really like it i.e you can try to mitigate the damage if it causes any.
But they may find themselves thinking of you both in a more sexual light. They may be curious too and bring it up with you again. Don't instigate this. Let it come from them. But just take note of it.
If all the signs are that they sound like they may be up for getting it on with you both organise a big night around at yours and get d*unk. Then turn the conversation to their interest in swinging. If that doesn't lead to anything it probably won't ever
All the above... at least in theory haha  Don't blame me if it all goes completely pear shaped   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If all the signs are that they sound like they may be up for getting it on with you both organise a big night around at yours and get d*unk. Then turn the conversation to their interest in swinging. If that doesn't lead to anything it probably won't ever
"
I think anyone that sets out with the intention of getting people pissed to fuck them really needs to stop and consider what consent is!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If all the signs are that they sound like they may be up for getting it on with you both organise a big night around at yours and get d*unk. Then turn the conversation to their interest in swinging. If that doesn't lead to anything it probably won't ever
I think anyone that sets out with the intention of getting people pissed to fuck them really needs to stop and consider what consent is!! "
Hmm  Well now you put it that way. I was thinking about it more that everything would come from the other couple. I don't think the op should make a move at all. I said they should be completely passive. Just set it up so the other couple can instigate it. If they don't just leave it be |
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Do you want to continue your friendship indefinitely? If so, don't take it any further.
Do you not care one way or the other if your friendship continues? If so, just ask them outright one evening.
Have you considered how your friendship might continue if they do agree and how you will feel if they have sex with you once then don't want to do it again?
I think its quite easy to get a bit wrapped up in swinging and let the lines between that and "normal" life blur. Personally I don't feel that's a good idea. |
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Ask them around for drinks one evening and leave your laptop on Fabswingers then both leave the room firb5 mins to bring drinks
They accidentally see your profile
You say nothing and say whoops!!
Close your computer down and carry on as normal
If they are interested they will mention it after a few drinks
If they say nothing never mention the subject again xx |
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Difficult to offer advice as none of us on here know your friends like you do but I can tell you our experience.
Firstly, we have met a few couples who have got into the scene via friends so it definitely does happen.
We actually invited a couple to join us at a club although we made it clear it was a social evening as our play interests don't match.
I have to say that we'd always suspected these friends as swingers as they gave off a vibe that we picked up on.
We just asked them one night over drinks if they were swingers, and they were fine with it and were really interested to listen to our experiences.
Maybe you could suggest a visit to a club just as we did?
It's perfectly acceptable to make it a social visit and the analogy I use is that we visit the casinos for the atmosphere and free entertainment and never ever gamble.
Good luck! |
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"Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. "
Have you checked they aren't on here (. Or another site ) already ?
If they aren't then maybe they aren't swingers |
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"Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. "
If we really had to find out , I think we would say we went to naturist beaches to test the reaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have non fab friends, we have fab friends we don't swing with and we have fab friends we do swing with, we keep it all seperate and it works for us. We don't blur the boundaries as it could be a recipe for disaster.
It would be a tad embarrassing to try to swing with non fab friends and then find your not sexually compatible the fallout for the friendship and your wider social scene could be immense, fantasies should really be left as that. Male  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, we have been friends with a couple for few years. We get on very well and we always meet for dinner, drinks etc.
we want to know if they are willing to take it further and join us in bed but we dont know how to approach them. Any advice will be appreciated. "
Maybe start a conversation off about Wanderlust. It was a recent BBC drama about swinging. It will still be on Iplayer. Ask them if they watched it. Then after a bit of a chat about Wanderlust ask them if they have ever personally thought about swinging. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Our advice would be "don't". There are plenty of attractive, like minded swingers out there without you having to involve your vanilla friends. If you value their friendship keep your swinging to yourselves. If you are happy to lose your friends for a quick thrill, go for it. |
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"Our advice would be "don't". There are plenty of attractive, like minded swingers out there without you having to involve your vanilla friends. If you value their friendship keep your swinging to yourselves. If you are happy to lose your friends for a quick thrill, go for it."
Also if you fall out as a result, the fact that you are swingers may well become general knowledge amongst your circle of friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't do it would be our advice, we had the same experiance with a woman not a couple, after 6 months of all 3 of us playing she had told a friend of a friend and this spread like wildfire until everyone knew, and like Chinese whispers it was blown out of proportion xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't do it would be our advice, we had the same experiance with a woman not a couple, after 6 months of all 3 of us playing she had told a friend of a friend and this spread like wildfire until everyone knew, and like Chinese whispers it was blown out of proportion xx"
I would tend to agree. |
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"Don't do it would be our advice, we had the same experiance with a woman not a couple, after 6 months of all 3 of us playing she had told a friend of a friend and this spread like wildfire until everyone knew, and like Chinese whispers it was blown out of proportion xx"
In part, its why we don't meet singles over here (the one good thing about living on an island) as particularly blokes, though as above acknowledged, not exclusively, bravado and indiscretion can happen. With couples we feel, that as a couple they will keep each other in check to a larger degree.
This isn't a fail safe by any stretch, but the dynamics over here do lend themselves to some degree of insecurity about what others know, so can work in your mutual favour if you sense the others have as much to lose as yourselves. We are certainly looking to develop a network on mainland UK for our fun tbh as the relaxed nature of meets there compared to home is on a different level for us.
We have meet and played great people here though and would regard them as having that mindset too. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"If they dont accept it are they really that good of friends? X"
Seriously! If they won't swing then they're not friends worth having?
Our advice op is to keep your swinging life separate from your day to day life, blurring it could cause a multitude of difficulties. Value what you already have with them and let that relationship grow. There's plenty of swinging couples out there for your pleasure without the need for it to spill out into the 'real world'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too have had fantasies of playing with a couple who have been friends with nearly 20 years now and we are open about almost anything (playing Cards Againt Humanity with them is great  ). But as much as i would like to do more with them i do not want to ruin our friendship on the off chance they weren't into it or did give it a try and then it's too awkward to go back to being friends after. All i would advise is be careful and don't try to force anything past where you are comfortable with things being.
I have had a couple of 3somes with a mate of mine but that was only because i bumped into him on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, great you see your friends as potential to fulfill one of your fantasies. Stop to think !
So you have both been on your relationship journey and are currently in swingersville...
What about their respective relationship journey where are they at ? How's thier sex life ? How's their relationship ? Behind closed doors where are they at as a couple as individuals ? Is their relationship strong, weak, indifferent ?
Maybe in fantasy land when you drop the swing bomb into their world, they'll be grateful and thankful you saved their marriage or maybe you'll completely destroy them. Who knows one of them might be really into the idea and the other won't, maybe one has latent sexual desires you'll unleash into their world, who knows....
You don't neither do they.
Ask yourselves do they deserve and have they asked for this to be bought into their marriage ?
Google a painting called The Arcadian Sheppards, decipher it's meaning and you'll have your answers. Thank us later.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignoring the should you/shouldn't you issue there's the are they/aren't they debate.
Easy way to check. Next time you all meet up go to the loo, go on see who's near. They should be at the top. If they are and see you've looked but then they say nothing there's every answer. Simples. |
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