FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Etiquette for re-messaging
Etiquette for re-messaging
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
Interested to hear thoughts on this, particularly from female members of the forum.
In common with a lot of guys on here, only about half the messages I send are ever read.
Obviously If they’ve viewed my profile and then deleted or not responded, or simply deleted immediately without reading, that’s a loud and clear “no thanks”.
But what if they’ve simply not read the message - could this be because they’ve not seen it amidst the deluge - we know women receive 100 messages a day - in which case is it worth a polite follow up after a couple of weeks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally speaking I would look up their profile and have a gauge of whether they might be receptive towards re-messaging. There are some female profiles on here that do openly state that they do miss messages sent to them so you could resend them one. But as a rule of thumb, if they haven't read my message I'd probably give them a resend after a couple of weeks or a month at least. But if twice doesn't work then I'd just give up on them; clearly with competition that fierce there's no sense trying to compete with the crowd when there are so many more on Fab! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
A second one a couple of weeks later is OK, as sometimes messages disappear off the end of the page. If no response after that, don't message again. Some people will also block so they don't resend, also doesn't come up in searches either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't re-message, actually I don't normally message at all, but I have one unread message that was an answer to a specific PM I was sent, which has gone unread, I won't chase it up. It will get read one day, or I won't be doing the repair work the person wanted.
Fate is what it is... I am too lazy to try to change it |
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Sometimes you get inundated and you just can't be bothered to go through them. It one point I had 600 unread and went through them and found a lot were from guys complaining I hadn't read their previous messages then you go through ans some guys paste the same message again and again which also tell you a tail. I would suggest waiting at least a month though before mailing someone who hasn't replied though and if still no reply fond someone else to message. |
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People will have different ideas on this op.
Personally if i am interested I reply quite quickly.
It may be different for ladies who receive lots of mail,i use filters on my single profile to reduce messages.
Miss |
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
"A second one a couple of weeks later is OK, as sometimes messages disappear off the end of the page. If no response after that, don't message again. Some people will also block so they don't resend, also doesn't come up in searches either. "
Thanks that’s a good shout actually.
Thanks for the advice all ????. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"A second one a couple of weeks later is OK, as sometimes messages disappear off the end of the page. If no response after that, don't message again. Some people will also block so they don't resend, also doesn't come up in searches either.
Thanks that’s a good shout actually.
Thanks for the advice all ????. "
It does make life a lot easier.  |
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
"They could of looked at your profile in Ninja mode so you havent realised they have looked at your profile and decided you werent for them."
Ah ok I didn’t realise that was possible - might explain it!
Is that only available for gold supporters? I’m now meet verified silver and no sign of it in my privacy settings... |
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
"Keep messaging until they block you.
For the record, I don't get 100s of messages a day as I use my filters wisely.  "
Haha i was about to take you up on that, DENIED!
I’ve blocked single men as well as was getting some bloody strange messages.
Well played  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don’t always get time to read messages straight away , if we get the same message two days later we’re not keen on replying.
Some people like to take their time and read all messages then decide who to reply to, re messaging can come across as pushy unless very polite.
It’s a difficult one |
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OP; now that you're a site supporter, you can use the 'Private note' function on peoples' profiles. ONLY you can read what you say about someone, but it's handy to record things like "first messaged on xx-xx-18" or such like.
Also; if I message someone and they straight delete, I block them. Cuts them out of my local searches in future, and means I can then concentrate on people who are interested in me. The block button is your friend; block anyone who doesn't match what you're looking for, and any profile you're outside their criteria, it saves time and frustration |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"They could of looked at your profile in Ninja mode so you havent realised they have looked at your profile and decided you werent for them.
Ah ok I didn’t realise that was possible - might explain it!
Is that only available for gold supporters? I’m now meet verified silver and no sign of it in my privacy settings... "
Account
Privacy
Hide on looked at me
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get a grip of yourself, if the girls, ladies or whatever don’t get back to you , is mostly because they don’t want to, simples, who would agree or not agree? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Some people skim their messages or look at profiles before replying. I'd say a second message a couple of weeks after the first one is ok but anymore than that becomes annoying and comes across as needy or desperate. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
There's no real right answer.. there's definitely some wrong ones though.
If you want to be sure start a second profile and send a message from that one to the lady or couple suggesting they read your first message  if that goes unread start a third and repeat.
Op.. stop looking at your sent items it serves zero purpose . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people skim their messages or look at profiles before replying. I'd say a second message a couple of weeks after the first one is ok but anymore than that becomes annoying and comes across as needy or desperate. "
I know why you blocked me now |
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We don't get swamped with messages but we do have to be in the mood to reply or sift through them.
Unless we're both together one of us will read the message and then mark it unread so the other can read it. We'll then check out the profile and decide how we want to respond, if at all.
Sometimes it can take a week to get round to it, depending how we're feeling. We've been blocked by men, women and couples, when we go to reply, for taking too long but that's all part of it |
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"Get a grip of yourself, if the girls, ladies or whatever don’t get back to you , is mostly because they don’t want to, simples, who would agree or not agree?"
Either that, or they haven’t the time to read their messages. If they have no time to read messages, they’re unlikely to have time to meet......... |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
I have filters and my profile says I’m not looking for new meets but I still get a lot of messages. I tend to work from the bottom (oldest) up and look for messages that I want to reply to first. Some people send message after message and all that does is move the message thread up and it takes me even longer to get round to it. |
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
"They could of looked at your profile in Ninja mode so you havent realised they have looked at your profile and decided you werent for them.
Ah ok I didn’t realise that was possible - might explain it!
Is that only available for gold supporters? I’m now meet verified silver and no sign of it in my privacy settings...
Account
Privacy
Hide on looked at me
"
Thanks I’ll do that. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I don’t get hundreds of messages. I use my filters. I make very quick decisions on who I want to chat with and tend to ignore all others.
There’s a one way thread in my inbox right now. He’s on message 10. I’ve not replied or even read one. Sometimes a second message might be interesting but i think it would be unlikely, by the time the 3rd or more pippedxin my inbox, that I’d suddenly be interested.
Likewise I’ve sent a couple of messages to guys here. It’s not really worked so I wouldn’t message again. It is what it is.
It doesn’t cause me a moment’s thought. I just carry on as I desire.
V x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" There’s a one way thread in my inbox right now. He’s on message 10. I’ve not replied or even read one.
"
That sounds more like the boy you lost your heart to at junior school all grown up and ready to date now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep messaging until they block you.
For the record, I don't get 100s of messages a day as I use my filters wisely.
Haha i was about to take you up on that, DENIED!
I’ve blocked single men as well as was getting some bloody strange messages.
Well played . "
You would only have to message me once |
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By *hite1100 OP Man
over a year ago
Hither Green |
"Keep messaging until they block you.
For the record, I don't get 100s of messages a day as I use my filters wisely.
Haha i was about to take you up on that, DENIED!
I’ve blocked single men as well as was getting some bloody strange messages.
Well played .
You would only have to message me once "
I think there’s a compliment in there. Thanks  |
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We have a tendency to plan meets very last moment. At times (and on occasions have no idea why) we'll get loads of messages and other times very few.
We try & give a polite reply to most.
Where a message consists of hi, how are you, fancy a meet now, we will admittedly often just delete.
But we don't object to repeat messages. If we are not looking for a meet we say so. Maybe next time we get a message we will be. Who knows. Sometimes I think people read too much into things. We'll meet once every month or so. Get dozens of messages in between. So % wise it's small! Just don't message repeatedly every few days. And a bit more than, "hi", "I'm in town now", when you do.
And if we've posted a meet, don't bother messaging to say you can come round now when we've clearly stated we can't host - pay attention to what's posted and the profile info!!
75% clearly never read a profile at all!
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"OP; now that you're a site supporter, you can use the 'Private note' function on peoples' profiles. ONLY you can read what you say about someone, but it's handy to record things like "first messaged on xx-xx-18" or such like.
Also; if I message someone and they straight delete, I block them. Cuts them out of my local searches in future, and means I can then concentrate on people who are interested in me. The block button is your friend; block anyone who doesn't match what you're looking for, and any profile you're outside their criteria, it saves time and frustration "
Jesus! My record keeping isn’t this good at work! If I started doing it on Fab I think my boss would have a headfit... of course, they would have to be here as well and that would be another can of worms to explain in some situations haha |
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