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First time at a club for a single guy.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So after a very vanilla marriage, now single and hoping to enjoy the less vanilla. I’ve tried the online dating thing but found it a little fake. I’d really like to make some new friends for social fun, ahead of any naughtiness. I’m thinking of attending a club night but a little apprehensive, as single guys seem to get a lot of negative feedback. Any advice on how to attend a club night without coming off creepy or annoying?
I’ve read all the rules and would be going without any expectations, just with the view of having a fun night out and meeting new people. |
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Then you're most of the way there really. it's about the attitude you turn up with.
If you're going be a mute all night who just walks round wanking under his towel, getting too close or touching without some sort of invitation, you'll have a dull time.
If you're chatty, respectful and show genuine interest in people - you'll do just fine! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Why dont you attend organised socials to star off with and then take it from there. "
This is a very good idea, maybe less daunting than a club for you. Socials are good for meeting new people and networking. What you do after is up to you! Good luck to you OP. By the way, lovely pics.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Follow couples around, lurk in the corner and if they start having sex, then wank yourself at them without speaking and hope they ask you to join in. standard. |
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Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
Good luck.
.
|
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"Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
Good luck.
.
"
Excellent advice!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
Good luck.
.
"
Excellent advice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy veteran of clubs if you follow the common sense advice as above you’ll do just fine-
I often go for just socials and it lays foundations for a subsequent meet next time. |
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"Clubs can be fun but you need to be determined to go about half a dozen times before you give up. If you go and you’re smiley and friendly and chatty (to men and women), people will get used to you and start to include you. Just like your local pub.
I would suggest a club with a hot tub. It's a great place to hang out. You can start conversations with the others (confident men in clubs chat to both men and women) and not seem like you're loitering. You'll get used to being naked around other people.
Remember to treat women as you would in a pub - be polite, don't crowd them, flirt lightly. If things are going well, you can say something like "I'd love to play with you". If she says no, keep chatting. She might become a friend and introduce you to others.
Don’t touch women as a way of asking whether it's okay to touch them. I've been touched fairly intimately without being asked and it's not ok. You might think that you're seeing guys do that but it's likely you're seeing men who the women already know. A friend of mine might walk in to the hot tub and put his arm around me without exchanging a word. It's because he knows me very, very well.
Lots of clubs do newbie nights.
Good luck.
.
"
Just wanted to say as someone also new hoping to dab gently into this world this was really instructive advice. Thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go without any expectation of sex, treat it as a social night and you will have more chance. Spend most of your night chatting at the bar and being genuinely sociable and intersted in people. If talking to a couple, engage equally with both. Don't join the 'hunting pack' and stay at the bar when the other single guys go hunting. Socialise in the hot tub. Treat people as you would on a regular night out in a bar. See who has posted about going on the same night as you and if you match their requirements make friendly contact in advance. In the past, as a single male, the best meets have been when I've thought it won't be happening tonight and have stayed at the bar being pleasant and socialble, which has resulted in an unexpected invitation to play. |
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An observation I have noticed, from my own club experience, is I receive more profile views, and messages along the lines of “Shame I didn’t see you in there”, and “Wish I’d known you were going, let me know next time you do”, when I post a club review, AFTER I have been to a club. People seem to ignore the ‘Club meet’ requests I post on my profile usually two weeks prior, does this happen for other guys? I wonder if it would work better to post a club review in advance of an actual visit? Something like “What a cracking night, this club and the people were amazing, can’t wait to go back again!”, might be worth a punt? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you do go to a club .. Like a few have suggested on here .. Go talk to the couples and talk to them both as equal not just the lady.. Also have a good read about club etiquette.. It's very important and also remember about asking before you touch .. It's very important as it's all about consent.. And
Finally remember No means No .. Don't be pushy .. Happy Swinging and have fun  |
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