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Feelings v Fuck Friend ?
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Have met the same guy for several years I like him obviously, he has fallen for me, but I only keep real feelings for hubby. He doesnt understand my lack of feelings after all these years....
Any others had similar? |
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"I fully understand him yes but he cannot understand us. Sometimes I question myself if I am cold and unfeeling myself ?"
As I understand it fuck buddies are people who get together to have sex and no more. You've stuck to the initial agreement, he hasn't (I know he can't help developing feelings). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand him yes but he cannot understand us. Sometimes I question myself if I am cold and unfeeling myself ?"
No, he clearly knows your situation and that you are fuck buddies only, nothing more. I can certainly appreciate feelings can develop but if they will never be reciprocated then unfortunately it might be time to go your seperate ways and find new play friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand him yes but he cannot understand us. Sometimes I question myself if I am cold and unfeeling myself ?"
Why are you still meeting him now you know that he has feelings for you? It seems cruel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same thing has happened to me twice now. One fwb wanted a full time relationship with me and a recent regular fuck buddy broke off contact because she wanted a boyfriend.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have met the same guy for several years I like him obviously, he has fallen for me, but I only keep real feelings for hubby. He doesnt understand my lack of feelings after all these years....
Any others had similar?"
It happens to many people they live in hope that what the want will happen. We all do this at some point and grip to slim hopes that's why so many buy lottery tickets with the same long odds hope. |
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"I fully understand him yes but he cannot understand us. Sometimes I question myself if I am cold and unfeeling myself ?"
There’s nothing to question yourself about ..... The key word in your statement is US ,,,,, he obviously doesn’t get that concept . Feelings are only worth anything if reciprocated . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My swinging partner on here is my FWB and yes, I have developed feelings for him!! However, I like being single so I try to forget my feelings and just have plenty of fun. Feelings aren't a bad thing.. as long as you both know where you stand. It's not cruel that you are continuing to see him, he clearly knows the score. If anyone should stop the contact it should be him, if he's unhappy. I'll always loves my FWB.. and we'll continue to have plenty of fun together. |
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Too many spelling mistakes in previous message! Ha!
I love jon and I have no feelings for any guy we meet other than they are there to do a job. Sex and love two different things for me. May sound cruel I know but if I had feelings for another guy I know it would mean to me I didn't love my partner!
Jayne xx |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I don’t understand the fear of “feelings”. Feelings don’t mean that you have fallen in love with a new one and only. Feelings are a natural part of who we are. It is the basis of humanity.
Our ability for different feelings is immense.
We have our true loves, the people we commit to with all our hearts. We have the people we love as friends and these can be many or few. We have our love for family.
I like my FWB(s). I like them lots to different degrees. I share lots of fun times, stories and secrets. I sometimes turn to them when i need support. I’m not conflicted by these feelings. I have room in my life to feel this way, and I’m happy being very open and honest about it.
I’d hate to find myself so jaded with it all that I couldn’t be comfortable with many sorts of feelings in my life.
Sure sometimes we all get it wrong. We misjudge others’ feelings for us, or we can’t quite fathom our own feelings for others. And of course sometimes our feelings are hurt.
V x
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"I don’t understand the fear of “feelings”. Feelings don’t mean that you have fallen in love with a new one and only. Feelings are a natural part of who we are. It is the basis of humanity.
Our ability for different feelings is immense.
We have our true loves, the people we commit to with all our hearts. We have the people we love as friends and these can be many or few. We have our love for family.
I like my FWB(s). I like them lots to different degrees. I share lots of fun times, stories and secrets. I sometimes turn to them when i need support. I’m not conflicted by these feelings. I have room in my life to feel this way, and I’m happy being very open and honest about it.
I’d hate to find myself so jaded with it all that I couldn’t be comfortable with many sorts of feelings in my life.
Sure sometimes we all get it wrong. We misjudge others’ feelings for us, or we can’t quite fathom our own feelings for others. And of course sometimes our feelings are hurt.
V x
Totally agree.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t understand the fear of “feelings”. Feelings don’t mean that you have fallen in love with a new one and only. Feelings are a natural part of who we are. It is the basis of humanity.
Our ability for different feelings is immense.
We have our true loves, the people we commit to with all our hearts. We have the people we love as friends and these can be many or few. We have our love for family.
I like my FWB(s). I like them lots to different degrees. I share lots of fun times, stories and secrets. I sometimes turn to them when i need support. I’m not conflicted by these feelings. I have room in my life to feel this way, and I’m happy being very open and honest about it.
I’d hate to find myself so jaded with it all that I couldn’t be comfortable with many sorts of feelings in my life.
Sure sometimes we all get it wrong. We misjudge others’ feelings for us, or we can’t quite fathom our own feelings for others. And of course sometimes our feelings are hurt.
V x
"
  |
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I’d be bloody surprised if feelings of some sort didn’t develop after years of seeing the same guy . If you weren’t having sex , feelings of some sort would develop , so the fact that you are makes it all the more inevitable .
I’ve never understood the attraction of seeing the same person time after time over a long period of time , so perhaps I’m not qualified to pass comment here , but we are all different . If my wife wanted to see the same guy again and again , and was still seeing him after years and years of doing so , I wouldn’t be happy at all . Especially if he has feelings for her . I personally can’t see how that’s not just an affair with the cover of swinging being used as a foil , but as I said , we are all different .
Anyway in answer to the ops original question , it’s never happened to us , and never will . |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I fully understand him yes but he cannot understand us. Sometimes I question myself if I am cold and unfeeling myself ?
No, he clearly knows your situation and that you are fuck buddies only, nothing more. I can certainly appreciate feelings can develop but if they will never be reciprocated then unfortunately it might be time to go your seperate ways and find new play friends."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This feels like a situation where it's all about what's happening off stage rather than on stage. You have a marriage and a family life to give you contentment. Maybe he doesn't have this or if he does he's unhappy with it. I wouldn't put your lack of feelings down to anything other than this imo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone ever had a fuck buddy relationship in which neither grew to have deeper feelings? "
Yes I've had a few. It is very possible. Feelings can be easily kept in check. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d be bloody surprised if feelings of some sort didn’t develop after years of seeing the same guy . If you weren’t having sex , feelings of some sort would develop , so the fact that you are makes it all the more inevitable .
I’ve never understood the attraction of seeing the same person time after time over a long period of time , so perhaps I’m not qualified to pass comment here , but we are all different . If my wife wanted to see the same guy again and again , and was still seeing him after years and years of doing so , I wouldn’t be happy at all . Especially if he has feelings for her . I personally can’t see how that’s not just an affair with the cover of swinging being used as a foil , but as I said , we are all different .
Anyway in answer to the ops original question , it’s never happened to us , and never will ."
Affairs 'hidden' in plain sight. |
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"I’d be bloody surprised if feelings of some sort didn’t develop after years of seeing the same guy . If you weren’t having sex , feelings of some sort would develop , so the fact that you are makes it all the more inevitable .
I’ve never understood the attraction of seeing the same person time after time over a long period of time , so perhaps I’m not qualified to pass comment here , but we are all different . If my wife wanted to see the same guy again and again , and was still seeing him after years and years of doing so , I wouldn’t be happy at all . Especially if he has feelings for her . I personally can’t see how that’s not just an affair with the cover of swinging being used as a foil , but as I said , we are all different .
Anyway in answer to the ops original question , it’s never happened to us , and never will .
Affairs 'hidden' in plain sight. "
Yep , exactly |
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Having 3 regular FB's it has been tricky the last 3yrs not to let feelings ruin what we have.
We all feel different things for each other.
We have fun we have a mental connection.
Can be trying at times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pre fab and internet days, (swinging magazines, remember those?) I met a couple and after the initial first few meets apart from the odd time, it was just her and myself. Not once did any feelings develop, that's not to say there wasn't a very strong friendship, we obviously liked each other, but I always knew the boundaries and it never crossed my mind even once to cross them. I would say it was long term, eight years before 'real life' got in the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I finished with a friend with benefits, who was also single. It started morphing into boyfriend, girl friend relationship and at the time it wasn't something I wanted. Didn't feel great about it, but had to be honest to save hurt further down the line. So I can see how feelings can get involved, we are only human after all.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d be bloody surprised if feelings of some sort didn’t develop after years of seeing the same guy . If you weren’t having sex , feelings of some sort would develop , so the fact that you are makes it all the more inevitable .
I’ve never understood the attraction of seeing the same person time after time over a long period of time , so perhaps I’m not qualified to pass comment here , but we are all different . If my wife wanted to see the same guy again and again , and was still seeing him after years and years of doing so , I wouldn’t be happy at all . Especially if he has feelings for her . I personally can’t see how that’s not just an affair with the cover of swinging being used as a foil , but as I said , we are all different .
Anyway in answer to the ops original question , it’s never happened to us , and never will ."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely agree with you. I'm single and have some married lovers. It's perfectly safe and boundaried, but I do care deeply for some. There all all sorts of different types of intimacy and love and care. It's nothing to be scared of but like all good things it takes personal work to get there and understand it. Not many bother. It's all part of the richness of the connections in Life. Just be crystal clear, open and honest.
"I don’t understand the fear of “feelings”. Feelings don’t mean that you have fallen in love with a new one and only. Feelings are a natural part of who we are. It is the basis of humanity.
Our ability for different feelings is immense.
We have our true loves, the people we commit to with all our hearts. We have the people we love as friends and these can be many or few. We have our love for family.
I like my FWB(s). I like them lots to different degrees. I share lots of fun times, stories and secrets. I sometimes turn to them when i need support. I’m not conflicted by these feelings. I have room in my life to feel this way, and I’m happy being very open and honest about it.
I’d hate to find myself so jaded with it all that I couldn’t be comfortable with many sorts of feelings in my life.
Sure sometimes we all get it wrong. We misjudge others’ feelings for us, or we can’t quite fathom our own feelings for others. And of course sometimes our feelings are hurt.
V x
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same thing has happened to me twice now. One fwb wanted a full time relationship with me and a recent regular fuck buddy broke off contact because she wanted a boyfriend. "
I had a wife want to be exclusive with me... I told her no way...
How can a wife expect a man to be exclusive with her , when she has a husband?
It seemed selfish to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband and I were having regular 3ways with a female friend. After about 6 months she started making it very clear she had strong feelings for my husband and I was in her way.
We ended the fwb arrangement with her because he only had feelings for me and vice versa. With her it was sex and nothing more. Carrying on knowing how she felt would have been cruel. |
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