FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Very Few Messages From Couples
Very Few Messages From Couples
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re the same, get loads from single guys but rarely other couples. I guessed it’s because I’m not bi and it seems most other couples look for a bi female within a prospective meet. We have better luck in clubs
Inked x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’re the same, get loads from single guys but rarely other couples. I guessed it’s because I’m not bi and it seems most other couples look for a bi female within a prospective meet. We have better luck in clubs
Inked x"
Not having a bi female certainly does limit meets. We might need to think about clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx"
We understand this but if we sit passive then where are all the couples who go hunting and follow that advice? |
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"Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx
We understand this but if we sit passive then where are all the couples who go hunting and follow that advice? "
I think that advice applies both ways: if you seek or are sought, your profile can be (in general terms, I'm not talking about you specifically) a point at which potential meets fizzle out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx
We understand this but if we sit passive then where are all the couples who go hunting and follow that advice?
I think that advice applies both ways: if you seek or are sought, your profile can be (in general terms, I'm not talking about you specifically) a point at which potential meets fizzle out. "
Indeed as the sayings go "you have to speculate to accumulate" "you only get out what you put in" over the year and a bit we have been in this lifestyle we have spent a lot of time fostering connections putting it out there, through forums, messages, winks, socials, clubs etc. Ok we're not body beautiful and are over the 60 mark but we have made friends and generally had great experiences and some bazaar ones only fabbers can experience lol. So sorry passive don't cut it proactive does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab is a bit like a shop window you have to do your bit by going into the shop and talking to the people inside. Males will always try to connect to you but couples will need a bit of convincing so get into the shop and offer yourself to the other people and enjoy the banter. But banter dosent mean sex it's still a process of finding people who you click with. Male xx
We understand this but if we sit passive then where are all the couples who go hunting and follow that advice?
I think that advice applies both ways: if you seek or are sought, your profile can be (in general terms, I'm not talking about you specifically) a point at which potential meets fizzle out. "
 yep with you on that male |
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"We’re the same, get loads from single guys but rarely other couples. I guessed it’s because I’m not bi and it seems most other couples look for a bi female within a prospective meet. We have better luck in clubs
Inked x
Not having a bi female certainly does limit meets. We might need to think about clubs."
We are the same,i am straight and find most of our updates want bi fems or bi fem couples.
Factor in that many profiles have no male pics and getting a 4 way attraction when they do ,,is really hard.we tend to use this profiles for socials and clubs and have a single one each too.
Miss |
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By *ogNMuseCouple
over a year ago
Surrey |
We've a mixed lot, but mostly couples where its only ever the male messaging, and then only wanting to talk to the wife.
But the genuine ones have been worth the wait, especially looking forward to finally meeting up with a great couple in 3 weeks first time in 6 months that we've all been free at the same time. |
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Welcome to FABS have you forgotten what it's like?
Dont worry do your own seaching. Get to the clubs, and enjoy.
Fabs got a "new membership" and its becoming a sunday school forum. Too many pretenders, judge-mental idiots, letting their preduces flow forth.
Have fun and take care. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP I think you will be more successful if you do the chasing.
Personally, I also found your profile negative. Maybe say what you DO want rather than what you Don't want I a prospective meet.
Nita"
Thanks for the feedback. We’ve taken that onboard in our profile to see if that opens things up some more.
We can do the chasing and will but we have had so few message we thought either it’s our age, profile or we should be going to a club. If successful couples chase them surely their targets receive messages so we don’t seem to be a target. If our logic makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Welcome to FABS have you forgotten what it's like?
Dont worry do your own seaching. Get to the clubs, and enjoy.
Fabs got a "new membership" and its becoming a sunday school forum. Too many pretenders, judge-mental idiots, letting their preduces flow forth.
Have fun and take care. "
We have some people we meet from our previous profile and it has been discussed that Fab has changed but then we have all gotten older so is it just we’re not as appealing or has the site really changed ? Hard to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP I think you will be more successful if you do the chasing.
Personally, I also found your profile negative. Maybe say what you DO want rather than what you Don't want I a prospective meet.
Nita
Thanks for the feedback. We’ve taken that onboard in our profile to see if that opens things up some more.
We can do the chasing and will but we have had so few message we thought either it’s our age, profile or we should be going to a club. If successful couples chase them surely their targets receive messages so we don’t seem to be a target. If our logic makes sense. "
Your logic makes perfect sense unfortunately fab doesn't do logic. Male  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to put in the groundwork and not expect people to contact you all the time try winking or fabbing a pic see what response you get
We have never had a mail from a single Male cas we ugly or maybe it’s because we have blocked them lol lots of fabbed pics though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
"
hya..
I remeber you from a while ago.
why not just visit cj's...lots of couples go
paddy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
hya..
I remeber you from a while ago.
why not just visit cj's...lots of couples go
paddy"
Got vanilla friends who live overlooking CJs so it’s too risky for us. We’ll need to travel to a club but with kids it becomes more difficult. Fab meets are more convenient .... if you can get them. Lol |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
"
If you realise you should be proactive.. why aren't you?
If this had been a single guy he'd have been told stop being lazy..if you don't make any effort on here you're likely gonna be lazy elsewhere.
It's often said effort in reward out.
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
"
I meant to type this on my other reply..
What were you expecting.?.you've been here 5 weeks.. you might want to lower your expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
If you realise you should be proactive.. why aren't you?
If this had been a single guy he'd have been told stop being lazy..if you don't make any effort on here you're likely gonna be lazy elsewhere.
It's often said effort in reward out.
"
To be honest since we’ve had our new profile we’ve been meeting old contacts we’ve played with before so for the first couple of months we’ve been arranging a couple of meets and getting veris again to build kudos before we get out there. We haven’t had time to meet so haven’t contacted couples but that’s changing.
However we were just thinking how few messages we have received from couples and wondered if it was us or the site.
Pretty sure age and not having a bi female limits our audience by 80% (made up stat). However in a club, without people knowing our preferences and with some dark lighting, we might do better
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
I meant to type this on my other reply..
What were you expecting.?.you've been here 5 weeks.. you might want to lower your expectations. "
Suppose we’re not sure what our expectations are on the site as we’re not sure how often couples get messages from other couples ? If it’s one message a month and we did stay passive, which we won’t, then it’s going to take a long time to get a meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
"
We get loads of messages from couples, but more from guys. Having said that, if yours was a single guys profile you would be getting told you hadn't made a lot of effort with the text or pictures. Maybe worth looking at. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’ve been back on Fab for a couple of months. We realise we should hunt down couples and contact them. We haven’t got around to that but we have literally had about 2 messages in as many months from couples. We’ve had about 200 messages from guys.
Is that usual or are we just too old now or do we have some other issue making our profile unappealing?
We get loads of messages from couples, but more from guys. Having said that, if yours was a single guys profile you would be getting told you hadn't made a lot of effort with the text or pictures. Maybe worth looking at. "
Are there too few pics and too little text ?
We don’t want to bore people with text as we feel many can’t be bothered to read. We thought we had enough pics but maybe we don’t. Always hard to judge when pics on profiles range from none to 100 and text from ‘Will fill out later’ to War & Peace. |
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"Suppose we’re not sure what our expectations are on the site as we’re not sure how often couples get messages from other couples ? If it’s one message a month and we did stay passive, which we won’t, then it’s going to take a long time to get a meet.
"
Not explicitly checked but I'd guess about once every 2 months on average in our experience from passive (as opposed to where we msg first). We do realise there are lots of things that will put other people off though. It does vary - posting a new story or picture seems to be far more effective than post a meet request bizarrely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would be nice to see a few pics with you both together. "
We generally struggle with that as we take pics of each other (cue the offers from single photographers to take some pics). We realise some people might think lack of pics together might mean ours could be a fake profile but we have veris from people who also have veris so hopefully that’s not the case.
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Couples for couples are hard to sort sometimes being a four way thing. A couple may look at your profile, one may like you guys (or more cynically the side of the deal they get out of it), the other one may not. Your best to do your own hunting and then you'll know who is intrested or not. |
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This is coming from a guy who is part of a couple and also has a single profile. In my opinion,your profile wouldn't make my girl want to message you. Yes not being bi,or having on your profile would make a huge difference. But your pictures don't scream come and get us. In comparison to many couples on here. Your profile in general is very tame and again doesn't entice me. I'm not saying get your pum pum out,but as another said,what's there to make us want to come into your shop?. Your display has to make people want to enter without hesitation . For us. It's mainly to do with your picture's more than anything else. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is coming from a guy who is part of a couple and also has a single profile. In my opinion,your profile wouldn't make my girl want to message you. Yes not being bi,or having on your profile would make a huge difference. But your pictures don't scream come and get us. In comparison to many couples on here. Your profile in general is very tame and again doesn't entice me. I'm not saying get your pum pum out,but as another said,what's there to make us want to come into your shop?. Your display has to make people want to enter without hesitation . For us. It's mainly to do with your picture's more than anything else. "
That’s really interesting . What would ‘get us pics’ look like? |
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"This is coming from a guy who is part of a couple and also has a single profile. In my opinion,your profile wouldn't make my girl want to message you. Yes not being bi,or having on your profile would make a huge difference. But your pictures don't scream come and get us. In comparison to many couples on here. Your profile in general is very tame and again doesn't entice me. I'm not saying get your pum pum out,but as another said,what's there to make us want to come into your shop?. Your display has to make people want to enter without hesitation . For us. It's mainly to do with your picture's more than anything else.
That’s really interesting . What would ‘get us pics’ look like? "
Erm.. A variety of things. Lingerie pics,few best bits pics,no pussy pics lol. Maybe a couple action pics. Just have a nosey at a profile that would entice you. And compare it to yours |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is coming from a guy who is part of a couple and also has a single profile. In my opinion,your profile wouldn't make my girl want to message you. Yes not being bi,or having on your profile would make a huge difference. But your pictures don't scream come and get us. In comparison to many couples on here. Your profile in general is very tame and again doesn't entice me. I'm not saying get your pum pum out,but as another said,what's there to make us want to come into your shop?. Your display has to make people want to enter without hesitation . For us. It's mainly to do with your picture's more than anything else.
That’s really interesting . What would ‘get us pics’ look like?
Erm.. A variety of things. Lingerie pics,few best bits pics,no pussy pics lol. Maybe a couple action pics. Just have a nosey at a profile that would entice you. And compare it to yours "
Thanks. We are probably a bit boring as we like profile pics in nice hotels which leave a bit to the imagination. Suppose we can’t be what we are not but thanks for the advice. |
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"This is coming from a guy who is part of a couple and also has a single profile. In my opinion,your profile wouldn't make my girl want to message you. Yes not being bi,or having on your profile would make a huge difference. But your pictures don't scream come and get us. In comparison to many couples on here. Your profile in general is very tame and again doesn't entice me. I'm not saying get your pum pum out,but as another said,what's there to make us want to come into your shop?. Your display has to make people want to enter without hesitation . For us. It's mainly to do with your picture's more than anything else.
That’s really interesting . What would ‘get us pics’ look like?
Erm.. A variety of things. Lingerie pics,few best bits pics,no pussy pics lol. Maybe a couple action pics. Just have a nosey at a profile that would entice you. And compare it to yours
Thanks. We are probably a bit boring as we like profile pics in nice hotels which leave a bit to the imagination. Suppose we can’t be what we are not but thanks for the advice. "
I'm sure you're far from boring guys . But agreed,always leave something for the imagination to do . |
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We had a good few when we first joined but not so many since. Then again we've hardly been proactive due to moving house and "real life" getting in the way. Hopefully we should all be sorted in the next few days and get back in to the swing of things. |
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We've also had little luck, although one nice couple invited us for a social sadly we were not able to attend.
Nes actually meets singles alone so we get swamped with guys. It's a shame as it would be nice to chill, chat and message other like minded couples. Even if they are not close it would just be good to know some other like minded people. For us just talking sex is a turn on, but sadly it seems only guys are prepared to do that. |
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"We've a mixed lot, but mostly couples where its only ever the male messaging, and then only wanting to talk to the wife.
But the genuine ones have been worth the wait, especially looking forward to finally meeting up with a great couple in 3 weeks first time in 6 months that we've all been free at the same time."
We get the same. Lately it's been more a case of being messaged asking if we would meet just the male... something we have said on our profile we wouldn't do unless we had met them prior. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've a mixed lot, but mostly couples where its only ever the male messaging, and then only wanting to talk to the wife.
But the genuine ones have been worth the wait, especially looking forward to finally meeting up with a great couple in 3 weeks first time in 6 months that we've all been free at the same time.
We get the same. Lately it's been more a case of being messaged asking if we would meet just the male... something we have said on our profile we wouldn't do unless we had met them prior."
Usually if it's just the male asking to meet then it's a single male pretending to be a couple. |
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. No toilet pics mind you haha