FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Better pulling power in real life?
Better pulling power in real life?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys, just wanted to share some thoughts about Fab (and online dating in general).
I've made many accounts here on and off for years. I have never met anyone and never had over 4 - 5 messages off the same person.
It got me thinking that on paper, I'm probably a 3 or 4 (Short, average size penis, slim/not big) bascially, I'm very average or bellow average in the swinging community.
But in real life, I have significantly more pulling power. Perhaps a 7 or 8. Do you know why this might be? Or are people online just more picky?
Your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because in person people can judge your general demeanor/aura right away.
Online you're just like a robot with stats and a profile where portraying personality is hard. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Completely different on here compared to the real world OP. Men dominate this site with their numbers, looking for casual sex and dont care half the time what the female looks like. Females get pick of the bunch. Im average looks, dated loads of really attractive girls and find its quite common for women to flirt with me in bars or clubs. On here, dont even get a reply back on 99% of messages  Its just how it goes really! |
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Yep exactly the same, i have no trouble getting girls and dates in the real world can and do pick up a nice girl in the supermarket, but in here nothing, the moans and wingers about let downs and none turn ups and time wasters, but they all go for the wrong types, so us reliable ones especially us older types get completely ignored, then there's the ones that never reply to ya message, even when they've tead it looked at ya profile but still cant be bothered as most are just simple minded |
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"Different selection criteria and methods of choosing people in different environments, plus the numbers skew heavily male here. I definitely choose differently in a club than on here. "
In a club you have only a handful of guys to choose from, and you’re more likely to be up for some fun at that moment, so it’s a case of which guy ticks most of your boxes at that particular point? Whereas, online you’re blitzed with messages, many from fake profiles, all times of the day, so don’t bother? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Online dating is initially based on your face, then the messages that follow (you get an insight into the person then). The market place is better balanced too so odds improve.
Fab is the opposite. Generally, users are looking for a specific thing, unfortunately for you, there’s many SM to search through for this. Often the personality side doesn’t initialy come into it.
Maybe you’d fair better at socials? |
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Well opposite here. This has been very successful for me whereas I am rubbish at pulling in pubs or supermarkets. If I was so successful in the “real “ world I probably wouldn’t be on here. Just saying. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Yep exactly the same, i have no trouble getting girls and dates in the real world can and do pick up a nice girl in the supermarket, but in here nothing, the moans and wingers about let downs and none turn ups and time wasters, but they all go for the wrong types, so us reliable ones especially us older types get completely ignored, then there's the ones that never reply to ya message, even when they've tead it looked at ya profile but still cant be bothered as most are just simple minded"
Interesting coin of phrase 'simple minded' because folk choose not to reply or engage with you.
I use this as an addition to my 'normal' life I expect nothing that way anything is a bonus.
As for the usual trotted out others have spoilt it for us genuine REliable older excuse  the problem often lies far closer to home. You make your own luck on here. |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"You're blending in instead of standing out."
 Spot on!
With so many guys on here OP you need to stand out though how you do that is down to you and learning to express yourself on line as you do in the outside world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Different selection criteria and methods of choosing people in different environments, plus the numbers skew heavily male here. I definitely choose differently in a club than on here. "
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"Different selection criteria and methods of choosing people in different environments, plus the numbers skew heavily male here. I definitely choose differently in a club than on here.
In a club you have only a handful of guys to choose from, and you’re more likely to be up for some fun at that moment, so it’s a case of which guy ticks most of your boxes at that particular point? Whereas, online you’re blitzed with messages, many from fake profiles, all times of the day, so don’t bother?"
My safety is less of a concern in a club. But I was more thinking, here I look for at least some connection, verbal repartee, signs of respecting me etc. Honestly the vast majority of people fall down at this point, forget mutual attraction or anything like that. |
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"Well opposite here. This has been very successful for me whereas I am rubbish at pulling in pubs or supermarkets. If I was so successful in the “real “ world I probably wouldn’t be on here. Just saying."
I'm similar to you mate; Fab has worked really well for me! Yes, I've had the occasional faker/timewaster, but they're easy to spot and block  In 'real life' I have no problem chatting with, and flirting with, strangers  The club scene, however, has been a big disappointmemt to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me. "
Why does them not being interested in you make them close minded? |
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"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me.
Why does them not being interested in you make them close minded? "
Statistics are a thing to start with, which some people look at closely and others don't. But we use the tools we have to our advantage. Work with the environment you're in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys, just wanted to share some thoughts about Fab (and online dating in general).
I've made many accounts here on and off for years. I have never met anyone and never had over 4 - 5 messages off the same person.
It got me thinking that on paper, I'm probably a 3 or 4 (Short, average size penis, slim/not big) bascially, I'm very average or bellow average in the swinging community.
But in real life, I have significantly more pulling power. Perhaps a 7 or 8. Do you know why this might be? Or are people online just more picky?
Your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated. "
personality in a text message or in a profile write up difficult to achieve, pics also many guys don't make any effort and it all counts, it's a sex site supposedly but talking sex to a stranger is frowned upon many guys do this |
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"Well opposite here. This has been very successful for me whereas I am rubbish at pulling in pubs or supermarkets. If I was so successful in the “real “ world I probably wouldn’t be on here. Just saying."
Totally agree with you...
why I'm here then OP
if your unindated in real world..
cnt get into girls knickers straight away as in fab maybe you can...
As also you have to form a relationship??
just saying |
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On here your profile really has to stand out in order for you to be noticed. A few lines and a few crappy pics just isn’t going to cut it. It’s difficult for single men. Clubs are often much easier. I have met and played with guys in clubs and later come on here to look at the profile. If they had messaged me on here rather meet on the club scene, I would most likely have blocked them as often, the profile is so bad!
Don’t lose heart. If your swinging experience is solely online and it’s not working then give organised socials or clubs a try. If what you say is true then you’re bound to enjoy your experiences more |
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"Well opposite here. This has been very successful for me whereas I am rubbish at pulling in pubs or supermarkets. If I was so successful in the “real “ world I probably wouldn’t be on here. Just saying.
I'm similar to you mate; Fab has worked really well for me! Yes, I've had the occasional faker/timewaster, but they're easy to spot and block In 'real life' I have no problem chatting with, and flirting with, strangers The club scene, however, has been a big disappointmemt to me "
I can understand people thinking the clubs are not great. I’ve been unbelievably lucky. But could see myself finding getting involved in a club very difficult if that cirtain person hadn’t been there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s easier to chat someone up in a pub as a bloke, part of the issue on here is a lot wouldn’t approach some of the people on here in a pub, as their after sex though and the green tick standards change. |
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While ive had a nice little bit of success on here, its always easier in real life, because, and i can only talk about bars/pubs/clubs, like most have said and ive said before on here, on a night out your there, in person, in their face so to speak lol and if your attractive enough (like me  ) then youve got more than half a chance.
On here your probably the 100th message the woman has had that day and your no different to the other 99 and its easy for them to just skip straight past yours onto the next message, and thats if they even read it and it doesnt get lost down the list to another 10/20 messages!!
Imagine fab in real life, there would be one woman in a pub surrounded by 100 guys all trying say hi to her at the same time! Just like on here most of us would get nowhere!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey guys, just wanted to share some thoughts about Fab (and online dating in general).
I've made many accounts here on and off for years. I have never met anyone and never had over 4 - 5 messages off the same person.
It got me thinking that on paper, I'm probably a 3 or 4 (Short, average size penis, slim/not big) bascially, I'm very average or bellow average in the swinging community.
But in real life, I have significantly more pulling power. Perhaps a 7 or 8. Do you know why this might be? Or are people online just more picky?
Your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated. "
Presumably the first thing they see in real life is a fun person not a cock? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op, it's how you come over if your lucky and a lady replies to your message. I am talking to a few ladies on here. However I'm going to a club tomorrow, to get myself known on the scene and to meet new people. Also to establish links. |
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"Op, it's how you come over if your lucky and a lady replies to your message. I am talking to a few ladies on here. However I'm going to a club tomorrow, to get myself known on the scene and to meet new people. Also to establish links. "
I would agree with that and clubs or socials are a great way to meet new people for those who do better in person. |
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Sorry to hear someone else is having the same problem as me.
It's soul destroying and not nice at all. The ones being a bit dismissive or full of confidence are having a completely different experiences. They are popular and someone like me isn't. No matter what I try.
Nice decent messages aren't working. Being myself isn't. Being normal and nice isn't.
I guess it just boils down to your face either fits or it doesn't.
I'd advise sticking with it, but for me,it's knocked my confidence more and more. I don't know what to suggest,but I hope you know your not the only one.
I feel like a complete freak after trying this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear someone else is having the same problem as me.
It's soul destroying and not nice at all. The ones being a bit dismissive or full of confidence are having a completely different experiences. They are popular and someone like me isn't. No matter what I try.
Nice decent messages aren't working. Being myself isn't. Being normal and nice isn't.
I guess it just boils down to your face either fits or it doesn't.
I'd advise sticking with it, but for me,it's knocked my confidence more and more. I don't know what to suggest,but I hope you know your not the only one.
I feel like a complete freak after trying this.
"
No your just as I say a krill in very vast ocean. Us men are in abundance, ladies aren't. Couples can be even chioser. As they have each other. If your confidence is self lacking then your on wrong site, unless you can take rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op, it's how you come over if your lucky and a lady replies to your message. I am talking to a few ladies on here. However I'm going to a club tomorrow, to get myself known on the scene and to meet new people. Also to establish links.
I would agree with that and clubs or socials are a great way to meet new people for those who do better in person."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear someone else is having the same problem as me.
It's soul destroying and not nice at all. The ones being a bit dismissive or full of confidence are having a completely different experiences. They are popular and someone like me isn't. No matter what I try.
Nice decent messages aren't working. Being myself isn't. Being normal and nice isn't.
I guess it just boils down to your face either fits or it doesn't.
I'd advise sticking with it, but for me,it's knocked my confidence more and more. I don't know what to suggest,but I hope you know your not the only one.
I feel like a complete freak after trying this.
"
I feel you. Like I say, I don't do too badly in 'real life' but online dating/hooking up can be very demoralising.
Just try and take it on the chin. I got over it by not caring about dating/relationships or being with anyone.
Once you're happy with yourself and can accept being on your own. That's when you feel more in control. Because while you're desperate, you'll always seek attention from others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me. "
What has being open minded got to do with it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
As has been said many a time on here. Men are ten a penny on here. It's up to you as a man to make yourself stand out from the thousands of others. The first way to begin doing that is with a good profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Different selection criteria and methods of choosing people in different environments, plus the numbers skew heavily male here. I definitely choose differently in a club than on here.
In a club you have only a handful of guys to choose from, and you’re more likely to be up for some fun at that moment, so it’s a case of which guy ticks most of your boxes at that particular point? Whereas, online you’re blitzed with messages, many from fake profiles, all times of the day, so don’t bother?"
The single male profiles are by far the least likely to be fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well opposite here. This has been very successful for me whereas I am rubbish at pulling in pubs or supermarkets. If I was so successful in the “real “ world I probably wouldn’t be on here. Just saying."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep exactly the same, i have no trouble getting girls and dates in the real world can and do pick up a nice girl in the supermarket, but in here nothing, the moans and wingers about let downs and none turn ups and time wasters, but they all go for the wrong types, so us reliable ones especially us older types get completely ignored, then there's the ones that never reply to ya message, even when they've tead it looked at ya profile but still cant be bothered as most are just simple minded"
Some minded because they don't reply to you???????????????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While ive had a nice little bit of success on here, its always easier in real life, because, and i can only talk about bars/pubs/clubs, like most have said and ive said before on here, on a night out your there, in person, in their face so to speak lol and if your attractive enough (like me ) then youve got more than half a chance.
On here your probably the 100th message the woman has had that day and your no different to the other 99 and its easy for them to just skip straight past yours onto the next message, and thats if they even read it and it doesnt get lost down the list to another 10/20 messages!!
Imagine fab in real life, there would be one woman in a pub surrounded by 100 guys all trying say hi to her at the same time! Just like on here most of us would get nowhere!!!
"
Great analogy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
As has been said many a time on here. Men are ten a penny on here. It's up to you as a man to make yourself stand out from the thousands of others. The first way to begin doing that is with a good profile. "
Because not everyone in 'real life' is into swinging.
Also, to answer your question about open-mindedness.
Being open-minded to people who aren't necessarily your ideal height, weight, skin colour, body type etc... |
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"While ive had a nice little bit of success on here, its always easier in real life, because, and i can only talk about bars/pubs/clubs, like most have said and ive said before on here, on a night out your there, in person, in their face so to speak lol and if your attractive enough (like me ) then youve got more than half a chance.
On here your probably the 100th message the woman has had that day and your no different to the other 99 and its easy for them to just skip straight past yours onto the next message, and thats if they even read it and it doesnt get lost down the list to another 10/20 messages!!
Imagine fab in real life, there would be one woman in a pub surrounded by 100 guys all trying say hi to her at the same time! Just like on here most of us would get nowhere!!!
Great analogy."
and 100 is a conservative estimate  |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I'll be honest when I first started my profile was dead, I got into forums (in particular the themed pics threads) and that's how I began to find my feet. The attire you have in your wardrobe and the way you incorporate that into a photo for a specific thread gives people some inkling as to your taste and effort. That's totally personal to me but it seems to have some effect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
As has been said many a time on here. Men are ten a penny on here. It's up to you as a man to make yourself stand out from the thousands of others. The first way to begin doing that is with a good profile.
Because not everyone in 'real life' is into swinging.
Also, to answer your question about open-mindedness.
Being open-minded to people who aren't necessarily your ideal height, weight, skin colour, body type etc... "
To be brutal, women don’t need to compromise on their preferences generally on here so they don’t need to be ‘more open minded’.
Try using the complete range of tools that the site gives you to make yourself stand out - that includes the profile, pics, status updates, meet requests, forums, event announcements and invitation threads. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
To be brutal, women don’t need to compromise on their preferences generally on here so they don’t need to be ‘more open minded’"
100% agree, although I find that because it doesn't affect women it's not seen as a problem.
Then again, if most men weren't so desperate for a whiff of pussy... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because sites like this are a bit robotic..a first glance at a profile and pics can be judged instantly..in real life you have a more natural way of coming across and more time too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
As has been said many a time on here. Men are ten a penny on here. It's up to you as a man to make yourself stand out from the thousands of others. The first way to begin doing that is with a good profile.
Because not everyone in 'real life' is into swinging.
Also, to answer your question about open-mindedness.
Being open-minded to people who aren't necessarily your ideal height, weight, skin colour, body type etc...
To be brutal, women don’t need to compromise on their preferences generally on here so they don’t need to be ‘more open minded’.
Try using the complete range of tools that the site gives you to make yourself stand out - that includes the profile, pics, status updates, meet requests, forums, event announcements and invitation threads. "
exactly this, women can move on they have so much choice, so make your profile your pics the best they can be otherwise you are dead in the water |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me. "
Open minded? As in meet for a social with those they initially feel they would have no chemistry with, because they are not attracted to someone's profile? In all honesty, my free time is scarce. I would prefer to spend it with someone I have a great feeling about. Real life is different. You can get your personality across off the bat. Feel the chemistry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me.
Open minded? As in meet for a social with those they initially feel they would have no chemistry with, because they are not attracted to someone's profile? In all honesty, my free time is scarce. I would prefer to spend it with someone I have a great feeling about. Real life is different. You can get your personality across off the bat. Feel the chemistry "
Sometimes you need to take a gamble though. Some of my best meets and most regular playmates (in the past) were women who decided to meet me just to see what I was like in real life. Mu online persona isn't welcoming at all, but when people actually meet me, they see a different side. Which they like.
I know we all can't do umpteen coffee meets, but sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.
(I'm not a Prince by the way, just a twat)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely have better pulling power in real life. Especially with women. It’s difficult to get talking on here sometimes - it’s like they have a barrier up and so I lose interest fast.
And, controversial opinion, I think there are quite a few women on here that definitely wouldn’t pull much in real life but get loads of sex on here (and of course loads of hot women on here too). There’s a strange sexual dynamic on this site: abundance of really oversexed men + a lack of women = power shift in ladies favour
PS on the 2nd point - I’m not speaking about anyone in particular that Ive chatted to. It’s just an observation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I definitely have better pulling power in real life. Especially with women. It’s difficult to get talking on here sometimes - it’s like they have a barrier up and so I lose interest fast.
And, controversial opinion, I think there are quite a few women on here that definitely wouldn’t pull much in real life but get loads of sex on here (and of course loads of hot women on here too). There’s a strange sexual dynamic on this site: abundance of really oversexed men + a lack of women = power shift in ladies favour
PS on the 2nd point - I’m not speaking about anyone in particular that Ive chatted to. It’s just an observation."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
As has been said many a time on here. Men are ten a penny on here. It's up to you as a man to make yourself stand out from the thousands of others. The first way to begin doing that is with a good profile.
Because not everyone in 'real life' is into swinging.
Also, to answer your question about open-mindedness.
Being open-minded to people who aren't necessarily your ideal height, weight, skin colour, body type etc... "
Being open minded to people who are not necessarily your ideal height, weight, and such like?
We are attracted to who we are attracted to. If a woman is attracted to men over six foot it doesn't mean she is closed minded for not considering guys under 6 foot. I will repeat again we are attracted to who we are attracted to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys, just wanted to share some thoughts about Fab (and online dating in general).
I've made many accounts here on and off for years. I have never met anyone and never had over 4 - 5 messages off the same person.
It got me thinking that on paper, I'm probably a 3 or 4 (Short, average size penis, slim/not big) bascially, I'm very average or bellow average in the swinging community.
But in real life, I have significantly more pulling power. Perhaps a 7 or 8. Do you know why this might be? Or are people online just more picky?
Your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated. "
I pull a lot more in clubs and bars than on here. It’s just barely ever for something casual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely have better pulling power in real life. Especially with women. It’s difficult to get talking on here sometimes - it’s like they have a barrier up and so I lose interest fast.
And, controversial opinion, I think there are quite a few women on here that definitely wouldn’t pull much in real life but get loads of sex on here (and of course loads of hot women on here too). There’s a strange sexual dynamic on this site: abundance of really oversexed men + a lack of women = power shift in ladies favour
PS on the 2nd point - I’m not speaking about anyone in particular that Ive chatted to. It’s just an observation."
The problem is even very ugly women, the plain janes, or very overweight women on here get many many many men telling them they are sexy and gorgeous. This then goes to their head and they only want guys who are 8 or 9 or 10 out of 10. Over the years I have seen many women fall into this trap on Fab. Blame yourselves for inflating their egos and making them slightly deluded.
That is why when a guy on here blows smoke up my arse I take it with a very big pinch of salt. I know where I am on the sexiness and gorgeous scale. |
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I’d agree with this.
Personally speaking I have only been in here a week or so, but it’s far harder going than conventional on line dating. I’m not saying I’m inundated with gorgeous women on there either(!), but on here it’s hard to get interest from women who, if I’m brutally honest, I wouldn’t message if I came across them on POF or similar.
I think the other problem facing straight single guys on here is that most attractive women who want casual sex can quite easily get that simply by going out to a bar.
Most in that category are on here, I suspect, because they are looking to experience a particular fetish, explore their bi side, have a threesome etc.
I’m going to try and get some verifications and see if things improve.... Fingers crossed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not just guys who have a problem on Fab. Unless you put in a lot of legwork it’s difficult to meet a couple and even more difficult to meet women.
We only ever receive messages from guys. Can’t remember the last time we chatted to a couple. Unless you’re looking for guys then it’s hard to get meets. Just our experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d agree with this.
Personally speaking I have only been in here a week or so, but it’s far harder going than conventional on line dating. I’m not saying I’m inundated with gorgeous women on there either(!), but on here it’s hard to get interest from women who, if I’m brutally honest, I wouldn’t message if I came across them on POF or similar.
I think the other problem facing straight single guys on here is that most attractive women who want casual sex can quite easily get that simply by going out to a bar.
Most in that category are on here, I suspect, because they are looking to experience a particular fetish, explore their bi side, have a threesome etc.
I’m going to try and get some verifications and see if things improve.... Fingers crossed! "
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Absolutely! I think it certainly creates an unhealthy environment where people are statistics on a profile. It's such ashame there aren't more open minded people on here. Or at least not local to me.
Open minded? As in meet for a social with those they initially feel they would have no chemistry with, because they are not attracted to someone's profile? In all honesty, my free time is scarce. I would prefer to spend it with someone I have a great feeling about. Real life is different. You can get your personality across off the bat. Feel the chemistry
Sometimes you need to take a gamble though. Some of my best meets and most regular playmates (in the past) were women who decided to meet me just to see what I was like in real life. Mu online persona isn't welcoming at all, but when people actually meet me, they see a different side. Which they like.
I know we all can't do umpteen coffee meets, but sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.
(I'm not a Prince by the way, just a twat)
"
Why take a gamble on someone that doesn't match preferences? Surely better to meet someone who does, saves a lot of wasted time and potential aggravation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d agree with this.
Personally speaking I have only been in here a week or so, but it’s far harder going than conventional on line dating. I’m not saying I’m inundated with gorgeous women on there either(!), but on here it’s hard to get interest from women who, if I’m brutally honest, I wouldn’t message if I came across them on POF or similar.
I think the other problem facing straight single guys on here is that most attractive women who want casual sex can quite easily get that simply by going out to a bar.
Most in that category are on here, I suspect, because they are looking to experience a particular fetish, explore their bi side, have a threesome etc.
I’m going to try and get some verifications and see if things improve.... Fingers crossed!
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
"
It's human nature to desire the best you can aspire to only those with perception and a smidgen of reality choose the person within sensible grasp |
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"
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
"
Attraction has to be there of course but there are other factors, for instance age: there are lots of gorgeous women on here in their 40s (including you! ). As a guy in my 30s I wouldn’t necessarily approach them on POF with a view to starting a relationship and settling down.
Part of the reason I’m on here is that the vast majority of women on POF etc. are looking for a monogamous long term commitment. I don’t want that at the moment and I don’t want to mislead people on there in order to get sex.
I don’t blame women on here for being choosy, and I don’t mean to sound bitter, but it is a shame the numbers on here are quite so skewed against us men.
I only message people where I meet the requirements they list in their profiles and I try to send thought out, personalised messages, attach a face pic and yet at least half the messages I send are deleted without even being read. That gets pretty frustrating after a while.
Out of interest, as a female on this site, how many messages from men do you receive per day?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
Attraction has to be there of course but there are other factors, for instance age: there are lots of gorgeous women on here in their 40s (including you! ). As a guy in my 30s I wouldn’t necessarily approach them on POF with a view to starting a relationship and settling down.
Part of the reason I’m on here is that the vast majority of women on POF etc. are looking for a monogamous long term commitment. I don’t want that at the moment and I don’t want to mislead people on there in order to get sex.
I don’t blame women on here for being choosy, and I don’t mean to sound bitter, but it is a shame the numbers on here are quite so skewed against us men.
I only message people where I meet the requirements they list in their profiles and I try to send thought out, personalised messages, attach a face pic and yet at least half the messages I send are deleted without even being read. That gets pretty frustrating after a while.
Out of interest, as a female on this site, how many messages from men do you receive per day?
"
Ahh I understand where you are coming from a little more now . I get about 30 a day at the moment. I have strict filters up, preventing anyone out of my 15 year age range from messaging. I also have other filters up. It makes for a much better inbox haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
Attraction has to be there of course but there are other factors, for instance age: there are lots of gorgeous women on here in their 40s (including you! ). As a guy in my 30s I wouldn’t necessarily approach them on POF with a view to starting a relationship and settling down.
Part of the reason I’m on here is that the vast majority of women on POF etc. are looking for a monogamous long term commitment. I don’t want that at the moment and I don’t want to mislead people on there in order to get sex.
I don’t blame women on here for being choosy, and I don’t mean to sound bitter, but it is a shame the numbers on here are quite so skewed against us men.
I only message people where I meet the requirements they list in their profiles and I try to send thought out, personalised messages, attach a face pic and yet at least half the messages I send are deleted without even being read. That gets pretty frustrating after a while.
Out of interest, as a female on this site, how many messages from men do you receive per day?
Ahh I understand where you are coming from a little more now . I get about 30 a day at the moment. I have strict filters up, preventing anyone out of my 15 year age range from messaging. I also have other filters up. It makes for a much better inbox haha. "
When my filters were not strict, it would sometimes be in excess of 100  |
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"To all those moaning they do great in the real world but crap on here when are you on here? If I was you and found it much easier to get a woman in the real world I wouldn't waste my time on here.
"
Personally I’m on here because I want to meet women/couples to socialise with, have no strings sex with, and perhaps go to sex parties with.
Most women in the real world (especially women in their mid 30s) want commitment. That isn’t what I’m after at the moment. |
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"
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
Attraction has to be there of course but there are other factors, for instance age: there are lots of gorgeous women on here in their 40s (including you! ). As a guy in my 30s I wouldn’t necessarily approach them on POF with a view to starting a relationship and settling down.
Part of the reason I’m on here is that the vast majority of women on POF etc. are looking for a monogamous long term commitment. I don’t want that at the moment and I don’t want to mislead people on there in order to get sex.
I don’t blame women on here for being choosy, and I don’t mean to sound bitter, but it is a shame the numbers on here are quite so skewed against us men.
I only message people where I meet the requirements they list in their profiles and I try to send thought out, personalised messages, attach a face pic and yet at least half the messages I send are deleted without even being read. That gets pretty frustrating after a while.
Out of interest, as a female on this site, how many messages from men do you receive per day?
Ahh I understand where you are coming from a little more now . I get about 30 a day at the moment. I have strict filters up, preventing anyone out of my 15 year age range from messaging. I also have other filters up. It makes for a much better inbox haha. "
Haha I can imagine it does! That’s bonkers.
So in a week you’d have 700 messages to wade through - it’s difficult for anyone to stand out from the crowd with those numbers! |
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"Personally I’m on here because I want to meet women/couples to socialise with, have no strings sex with, and perhaps go to sex parties with.
Most women in the real world (especially women in their mid 30s) want commitment. That isn’t what I’m after at the moment. "
Ha im kind of the opposite to yourself im actually looking for a girl to have solid relationship with atm, but at 22 its difficult to find that kind of girl (who would also likes me equally)
Im only on here for a bit of fun and intimacy with someone i can click with in the meantime..
A man can only dream though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Out of curiosity, why would you try and meet someone you wasn't attracted to enough to contact on pof, or in the real world? Surely you would still only be looking to meet those you fancy? The fact that you say say that, proves that if the roles were reversed and men got to decide on who to meet, because of ratios, you would be just as choosy yourself
Attraction has to be there of course but there are other factors, for instance age: there are lots of gorgeous women on here in their 40s (including you! ). As a guy in my 30s I wouldn’t necessarily approach them on POF with a view to starting a relationship and settling down.
Part of the reason I’m on here is that the vast majority of women on POF etc. are looking for a monogamous long term commitment. I don’t want that at the moment and I don’t want to mislead people on there in order to get sex.
I don’t blame women on here for being choosy, and I don’t mean to sound bitter, but it is a shame the numbers on here are quite so skewed against us men.
I only message people where I meet the requirements they list in their profiles and I try to send thought out, personalised messages, attach a face pic and yet at least half the messages I send are deleted without even being read. That gets pretty frustrating after a while.
Out of interest, as a female on this site, how many messages from men do you receive per day?
Ahh I understand where you are coming from a little more now . I get about 30 a day at the moment. I have strict filters up, preventing anyone out of my 15 year age range from messaging. I also have other filters up. It makes for a much better inbox haha.
Haha I can imagine it does! That’s bonkers.
So in a week you’d have 700 messages to wade through - it’s difficult for anyone to stand out from the crowd with those numbers! "
Yes haha. I've even had blocks off people I sometimes spoke to, because I missed their messages and they thought I was an ignorant cow |
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"Personally I’m on here because I want to meet women/couples to socialise with, have no strings sex with, and perhaps go to sex parties with.
Most women in the real world (especially women in their mid 30s) want commitment. That isn’t what I’m after at the moment.
Ha im kind of the opposite to yourself im actually looking for a girl to have solid relationship with atm, but at 22 its difficult to find that kind of girl (who would also likes me equally)
Im only on here for a bit of fun and intimacy with someone i can click with in the meantime..
A man can only dream though "
We always want what we don’t have, right?
At 22 you’ve got all the time in the world mate. Have fun while you’re young (Christ that makes me sound old).
Take it from someone who wasted their twenties in long relationships which went nowhere! |
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"Ha im kind of the opposite to yourself im actually looking for a girl to have solid relationship with atm, but at 22 its difficult to find that kind of girl (who would also likes me equally)
Im only on here for a bit of fun and intimacy with someone i can click with in the meantime..
A man can only dream though
We always want what we don’t have, right?
At 22 you’ve got all the time in the world mate. Have fun while you’re young (Christ that makes me sound old).
Take it from someone who wasted their twenties in long relationships which went nowhere! "
Yep exactly, lot of things i dont have right now which would be nice.. But as you say there im quite young and all but im kinda getting fed of the robotic "wham, bam, thnak you man" type encounters, i just want something alot more.. meaningful at the moment.
(Youre not old btw man, im just younger than you haha ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely have better pulling power in real life. Especially with women. It’s difficult to get talking on here sometimes - it’s like they have a barrier up and so I lose interest fast.
And, controversial opinion, I think there are quite a few women on here that definitely wouldn’t pull much in real life but get loads of sex on here (and of course loads of hot women on here too). There’s a strange sexual dynamic on this site: abundance of really oversexed men + a lack of women = power shift in ladies favour
PS on the 2nd point - I’m not speaking about anyone in particular that Ive chatted to. It’s just an observation.
The problem is even very ugly women, the plain janes, or very overweight women on here get many many many men telling them they are sexy and gorgeous. This then goes to their head and they only want guys who are 8 or 9 or 10 out of 10. Over the years I have seen many women fall into this trap on Fab. Blame yourselves for inflating their egos and making them slightly deluded.
That is why when a guy on here blows smoke up my arse I take it with a very big pinch of salt. I know where I am on the sexiness and gorgeous scale. "
You must be the most honest woman on this forum...
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" Yep exactly, lot of things i dont have right now which would be nice.. But as you say there im quite young and all but im kinda getting fed of the robotic "wham, bam, thnak you man" type encounters, i just want something alot more.. meaningful at the moment.
(Youre not old btw man, im just younger than you haha )"
It’ll come to you mate. Hope you have a good time on here.
And cheers for that, I’m still youngish for this website . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I’m on here because I want to meet women/couples to socialise with, have no strings sex with, and perhaps go to sex parties with.
Most women in the real world (especially women in their mid 30s) want commitment. That isn’t what I’m after at the moment.
Ha im kind of the opposite to yourself im actually looking for a girl to have solid relationship with atm, but at 22 its difficult to find that kind of girl (who would also likes me equally)
Im only on here for a bit of fun and intimacy with someone i can click with in the meantime..
A man can only dream though "
You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. Don't let anyone tell you that you're too young to want commitment or to settle down if you do meet someone worth it. That's in the same category as those who would demean you for being too young in their opinion to swing, aka utter bull.
Just be honest and upfront and don't play games with women. Even if they are the kind who like games: they're not the kind you'll get to keep with peace of mind even if you do manage to play games and woo them successfully. Swing whilst you can, but once you find a regular partner and relationship and it isn't a swinging one then take your out and enjoy attached life! |
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" Yep exactly, lot of things i dont have right now which would be nice.. But as you say there im quite young and all but im kinda getting fed of the robotic "wham, bam, thnak you man" type encounters, i just want something alot more.. meaningful at the moment.
(Youre not old btw man, im just younger than you haha )
It’ll come to you mate. Hope you have a good time on here.
And cheers for that, I’m still youngish for this website . "
Yeah I hope it does, just gotta smart and patient about it.
And you too mate, hope you find what you're after, good luck |
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"Ha im kind of the opposite to yourself im actually looking for a girl to have solid relationship with atm, but at 22 its difficult to find that kind of girl (who would also likes me equally)
Im only on here for a bit of fun and intimacy with someone i can click with in the meantime..
A man can only dream though
You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. Don't let anyone tell you that you're too young to want commitment or to settle down if you do meet someone worth it. That's in the same category as those who would demean you for being too young in their opinion to swing, aka utter bull.
Just be honest and upfront and don't play games with women. Even if they are the kind who like games: they're not the kind you'll get to keep with peace of mind even if you do manage to play games and woo them successfully. Swing whilst you can, but once you find a regular partner and relationship and it isn't a swinging one then take your out and enjoy attached life! "
Well you seem like a cool guy so thanks for that compliment
Yeah its a weird dynamic isnt it.. Most people on here (or in general) would say im too young to settle down with the right girl and yet they would also believe im too young to be taken seriously as a potential "swinger" whatever the hell that word is meant to mean lol
Yeah i know what you mean, I'm not the type of guy who enjoys playing those type of mental games with women infact i hate all that BS tbh, and i would never be with a woman who enjoyed or took pleasure in playing those sad games..
Yep i will enjoy my "free time" for as long as it lasts aha, then hopefully i will find the right girl to settle with and all this swinging business will be all but a distant memory |
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