FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Married ??????

Married ??????

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not sure if this is just us and swinging isn't for us. But.......we are on here as a couple looking for both other couples and single men and ladies for fun. I (the male half) am getting frustrated with single guys mostly just chatting to MY wife as if she is a single lady. This makes my wife a little uncomfortable as we are really happily married and secure in our relationship. Just wish a bit of respect would be used to both of us and after all both of us need to be happy before any fun begins.

Any comments warmly welcomed even of you think it's my of our problem.

Thank you and Merry Christmas to you all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simple's block single guys if you want to meet them then just go browsing you can still email the ones you want and you won't get inundated with single guys.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Its not just you,its an easy way to seperate the good guys from the twunts...lots of idiots only talk to the woman,decent single guys talk to both

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You dont have to talk to them, either of you. A polite 'no thanks' works most of the time or block if they wont go away. You are in control!xxx

Sometimes we get a turn on from them talking just to me,it's what we come here for anyway, sometimes they're just plain boring or unimaginative, then its a delete or block. xxx

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By *imshardMan over a year ago

kirkcaldy

im a married guy but im looking for fun i know shock how can i just want to say if i get reply saying no i leave at that if you dont get reply then you wonder

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Block and select...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yip also have this problem best thing you can do is ignore if a guy or a couple for that matter can't respect the fact theres two of us and direct thier msg at both of us them we show the same respect by not replying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i agree just ignore them appreciate takes time for it to penertrate thick skulls but block who you dont want which allows you to sort the chaff from the corn good luck and have a kool yule xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for your messages.

We do block and are really selective and I agree that some times the chat can be a turn on, my hubby does like me to char as that is part of the fun, but surely there should still be limits, And even after the person/s know we are a couple and has been told that one of the things we ask for is a little respect of us both they (sorry to generalise as I'm sure it's not all) seem to slip onto alpha male who basically just wants to get in my pants and doesnt give a damn that I'm married.

Also with regards having a prominent couple profile on here to prevent that. Well we thought the words "we are a very happily MARRIED couple" should of done the trick. But as only a small percentage of people seem to read it anyway it's prob not been picked up.

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking! "

Exactly, how many couples have a pic of the GUY as their avatar? Don't think I'd need all my fingers to count them!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Possibly if you had photos of both of you on profile rather than just your wife??

Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol Alba ....great minds n all that lol

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By *essesCouple over a year ago

nottingham

But how are you meant to appeal to couples when the female half has no idea what your husband looks like? It always makes me feel that I will just have to be grateful and it's just the mans taste that is considered!

Lisa

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well we have pics of us both on our profile and honestly can't people read on here or is it too much to ask for people to have that ability.

This is basically a site to advertise yourself and the first in advertising is to entice so we use a pic of my wife. Having my ugly mug on the front page would probably have the opposite effect.

Still comes back to not having the brains to read a profile........

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By *essesCouple over a year ago

nottingham

But the pics of you aren't public, so a couple has to go to the effort of chatting and becoming your friends before getting any idea of whether you are for her! Most won't bother and so that's why you get mainly single guys replying and they are only interested in your wife and so will mainly chat to her. Plus you are right most will just look at the pics and not bother reading the profile.

Lisa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But the pics of you aren't public, so a couple has to go to the effort of chatting and becoming your friends before getting any idea of whether you are for her! Most won't bother and so that's why you get mainly single guys replying and they are only interested in your wife and so will mainly chat to her. Plus you are right most will just look at the pics and not bother reading the profile.

Lisa"

Couldn't have put it better myself!

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"Not sure if this is just us and swinging isn't for us. But.......we are on here as a couple looking for both other couples and single men and ladies for fun. I (the male half) am getting frustrated with single guys mostly just chatting to MY wife as if she is a single lady. This makes my wife a little uncomfortable as we are really happily married and secure in our relationship. Just wish a bit of respect would be used to both of us and after all both of us need to be happy before any fun begins.

Any comments warmly welcomed even of you think it's my of our problem.

Thank you and Merry Christmas to you all. "

yes, we do find the same here as we go in to chat a lot. We have two profiles and we do find that all the mail is sent to scouse's account, none to mine; this is even from other couples, and in chat i do find that very few want to chat to the male half,

On one occasion a male even told me to f**k off out of the conversation as it was the fem he wanted to shag, needless to say he was blocked,

But to summarise, the male does seem to be considered as the spare part to a lot

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By *r OreoMan over a year ago

Croydon

one of the best meets i ever had (who turned into a very very good friend) came about as i was chatting to her hubby - just banter.

As i was nice to him - sort of passed the first stage so to speak and made her more inclined to chat ... And then to meet - and the rest is history.

Pretty easy to see that those who are only chatting to the girlie are prob the ones u wanna block - if anything makes it easier for u guys to suss the good from the bad!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we have guys mainly chat to me (her) but we both read them and decide how to answer together. hubby is not in the least upset about this and we only ever meet together. we have no problems once we decide to take things further we often find the guys like a good chat with hubby about every day things. its what works for you that counts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get lots of messages that are directed at my master.. maybe for some reason when you add that dynamic people just expect to have to go through my master..

However as I am left to it till I'm impressed... Master rarely talks to people till we meet.

Cali x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On one occasion a male even told me to f**k off out of the conversation as it was the fem he wanted to shag, needless to say he was blocked,

That's just bang out of order to act like that. We went 50/50 on pictures from day one, and it's difficult for us to choose when there are couples profiles that only sell the lady - Devil also likes to get a look at the male half... y'know...

It doesn't bother us personally how anyone behaves, unless its disrespectful or offensive - we'll block people who misbehave. What certain behaviours do is influence our decision, and once we've decided what we will or won't be doing with someone, that is that...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lol Alba ....great minds n all that lol"

And we'll draw a veil over the next bit!! lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a bit much complaining about people not reading your profile when you yourself are not really reading the replies on here

You profile has been written by the female and points out you are looking for men and hubby is straight so stands to reason they would want to speak to the woman - they are looking for sex bit a chat about football !

And as quite correctly pointed out the pics in the public profile are all of her - god knows why couples do this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know a mum and daughter who go chams I also know of now this is a weird one a mum and dad and son and daughter in law that go but that's not the weird bit. The father has had work done and looks like the son and the mum and daughter in law have matching hair weird.

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By *xscotMan over a year ago

Kingston

is this not symptomatic of their attitude - some sigles are selfish - If I am talking to a couple I would try to ensure both are fully engaged - perhaps some of the singles think that id they are talking to a man - they might get pulled into a bit of bi - lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep very common in mails and in clubs

In a club when with my partner if I'm ignored by a male then he dosent get to play

In mail we have totally separate profiles anyway but if we did have a couples profile the same would apply

A lot of single males tend to overlook this piece of swinging etiquette to their peril lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Am i missing something here re pics ????

Our open pics for all to see, clearly have both of us on one of them and its a face pic ..so I must be missing something, as im getting people on here say there is only ones of me?

And for the record there is a reason we have pics of both of us!,as I dont like to find a surpise when I finaly see the male in other couples and do prefer to see profiles with both.

But again thank you for your replies

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yep very common in mails and in clubs

In a club when with my partner if I'm ignored by a male then he dosent get to play

In mail we have totally separate profiles anyway but if we did have a couples profile the same would apply

A lot of single males tend to overlook this piece of swinging etiquette to their peril lol xx

Exactly what we do and how we feel. Its only polite for me to speak to both in a couple, I never ever just chat to one, So don't understand why men find that talking to just me and as though im single is acceptable.xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to say it but you are hot and the guys are maybe just trying to push their luck. But its not just about you if the guys get on (not in a sex way) it means a better night for all and a better giggle

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Am i missing something here re pics ????

Our open pics for all to see, clearly have both of us on one of them and its a face pic ..so I must be missing something, as im getting people on here say there is only ones of me?

And for the record there is a reason we have pics of both of us!,as I dont like to find a surpise when I finaly see the male in other couples and do prefer to see profiles with both.

But again thank you for your replies

I can clearly see pics of you both on your profile, very nice they are too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you I genuinely thought I was going mad lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have to say it but you are hot and the guys are maybe just trying to push their luck. But its not just about you if the guys get on (not in a sex way) it means a better night for all and a better giggle"

Ohh thank you

lol... exactly what I think, it makes it more comfortable for me if the guys get on. its not all about me its about us all.. ( in a non Bi male way lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Am i missing something here re pics ????

Our open pics for all to see, clearly have both of us on one of them and its a face pic ..so I must be missing something, as im getting people on here say there is only ones of me?

And for the record there is a reason we have pics of both of us!,as I dont like to find a surpise when I finaly see the male in other couples and do prefer to see profiles with both.

But again thank you for your replies

I can clearly see pics of you both on your profile, very nice they are too

Thank you xxxx

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By *ea and SugarCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking!

Exactly, how many couples have a pic of the GUY as their avatar? Don't think I'd need all my fingers to count them!"

From a guy who's been on here over a year and doesn't have a picture on either public or private gallery

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By *essesCouple over a year ago

nottingham

There must be a glitch in the system because when I looked at your profile earlier there weren't as many photos showing and they were just of the female.

Lisa

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"There must be a glitch in the system because when I looked at your profile earlier there weren't as many photos showing and they were just of the female.

Lisa"

me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get this occasionally too and it's a goodl opportunity to have a bit of sport when Mr replies thanking the guy for saying he's got nice legs etc! Ms

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By *essesCouple over a year ago

nottingham

"We get this occasionally too and it's a goodl opportunity to have a bit of sport when Mr replies thanking the guy for saying he's got nice legs etc! Ms"

lol, us too, when they asked "want to sit on my face". They didn't seem so keen when Matt sent the reply.

Lisa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We get this occasionally too and it's a goodl opportunity to have a bit of sport when Mr replies thanking the guy for saying he's got nice legs etc! Ms

lol, us too, when they asked "want to sit on my face". They didn't seem so keen when Matt sent the reply.

Lisa"

Don't half steady some up, don't it! lol

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There must be a glitch in the system because when I looked at your profile earlier there weren't as many photos showing and they were just of the female.

Lisa"

I think they've changed them as there weren't any of the male half!

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

Get the same in chatrooms, even though I type in blue and lots in the room use my name (Mart), we still get single male PM's asking, "Which one is typing?" I always reply "Does it matter?", that tends to fluster most lol!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree with this statement. If all people don't get along with each other socially, there is no way you are going to end up playing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would rather talk to both than just one and on several occasions it has been, the few that spoil it are those where only the guy speaks so either a single guy with a couples profile or its been a couple with single profiles, and that then makes me wary of them as the female funnily enough hasn't been around, much prefer a couple with a couples profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We find it more disrespectful when guys msg us and assume they are talking to mr. Bear in mind we clearly state on our profile we are just lookin for guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree with this statement. If all people don't get along with each other socially, there is no way you are going to end up playing!"

Sadly I strongly suspect that some single men do fail to grasp this.

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By *imshardMan over a year ago

kirkcaldy

i try my best to reply as tho im talking to both but no one listens any way

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There must be a glitch in the system because when I looked at your profile earlier there weren't as many photos showing and they were just of the female.

Lisa

I think they've changed them as there weren't any of the male half!"

no we did not ,, really pmsl

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"There must be a glitch in the system because when I looked at your profile earlier there weren't as many photos showing and they were just of the female.

Lisa

I think they've changed them as there weren't any of the male half!

no we did not ,, really pmsl "

you see now all credibility for a really nice thread offering genuine advice goes out the window.

there were not pics of the male when I looked early on in this thread... the pics have been added to

makes no odds to me but lets work on factually accurate statements.

either way... I wish you both the best of luck.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Any comments warmly welcomed even of you think it's my of our problem.

Thank you and Merry Christmas to you all. "

in a way i would say I hope they don't change a thing...

why.....

because at least this way you can tell who is for you and who isn't.... call it one of your deciding factors...

call it one of the things that seperate those who "get it" from those who don't so to speak....

if i am interested in playing with a couple i will talk to a couple... simple as... i assume they are both getting out whatever from the experience so in a way it is selfish to think of one but not the other......

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By *inktherapyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

And as quite correctly pointed out the pics in the public profile are all of her - god knows why couples do this

We do it because we're basically looking for single guys from here. The few occasions we've played with couples it's always been in a club, so they can see what he looks like anyway

(there are pics of him in our private ones)

To the OP, the bit in your profile about a single guy for MMF fun will lead many to message the female - ultimately it's the female shagging the other guy, after all, so they often (sometimes incorrectly) look to make all the contact with the female half.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking! "

Understand where your coming from (even tho youve left lol ) most couples profiles show pics of female only so would guess when someone mails its natural they would direct the content to the female as she is the identity of the profile....just a thought. I have a mate on here who is in a couple n she gets hacked off that there are few pics of the male of the couple.....pics there to interest both parties arent they?

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By *lexaWoman over a year ago

southampton

Good point about the profile pics just being of the woman. It prompts guys to think that the guy is in the control room and just putting his wife out there as bait to catch the prey. I totally agree that if that's not the case, then the profile should show you as a COUPLE. Other than that, block single guys who don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking!

we even have it on our profile that Richard answers all mail first and still get single guys thinking they are talking to me and when the realise its Richard they are talking to they block us just goes to show some single guys contact couples just to speek to the female

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wonder if couples that have pictures of BOTH of them prominent on their profile have the same problem?!!

Just asking!

Point still stands re: who is shown in the pics though and as was mentioned before there is an option to block random mail from single guys thereby giving you the control over contaact

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