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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me and hubby are keen to experiment but keep changing our minds about how to initially introduce another person into our play.
We swing (  ) from visiting a club, to hiring an escort, to trying to arrange a meet, then back again, because of a million different reasons, thoughts and feelings.
We are sure we want to try something but just don’t know which way to go.
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks!
X |
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"Me and hubby are keen to experiment but keep changing our minds about how to initially introduce another person into our play.
We swing ( ) from visiting a club, to hiring an escort, to trying to arrange a meet, then back again, because of a million different reasons, thoughts and feelings.
We are sure we want to try something but just don’t know which way to go.
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks!
X"
Why do you keep changing your minds? You have to both want this 100% if you are going to play with someone else and it sounds like you have more talking to do. They are are human being and not just a toy for your pleasure. Nothing worse than a couple freaking out mid play cos they are not being honest wuth each other. At least if you go down the escort route she will be paid first for the inconvenience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs are a great way to dip your toe into swinging, there’s no pressure to play so just go along and see how you feel.
If either of you feel uncomfortable you can just leave and put it down to experience.
Good luck
Andy x |
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The club scene evolved from couples looking to meet other couples, and still is this way, in the main. Try visiting one on a couples-only night, and take in the atmosphere, see how you both find it. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything other than relax, chat, have a drink or two, and see how things go. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'd suggest taking a step backwards and discussing this between you more until You're both 100% sure that firstly you want to take this step in reality, rather than it being a lovely fantasy to spice up the pillow talk, and secondly what you think you are looking for.
Set boundaries that you both agree to and stick by them, no matter what, or discuss them if one of you would like to change them, but always be prepared to fall back to the original ones if the change isn't agreeable to both of you.
Once you have an idea that you do want to take things further, and what you want, and have set your boundaries - a club is probably the best way to dip your toe - there's no pressure to play with others and can just be treated as an erotic night out for the two of you - I'd recommend one of the larger ones (The Vanilla Alternative isn't that far from you) that has plenty of space and facilities that you can use just the two of you, while taking in the atmosphere and vibe of the club and getting comfortable with the idea - don't go with any expectations of anything happening, just treat it as a sexy night out, but of course if the opportunity arises and you are comfortable to do so, you'd be in a good place to take that step.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try blindfolding your wife..... invite a couple or single over.... record the playing then watch it together after.....
This is all with the wife’s consent.....
The reason I’m suggesting this alternative route is because it seems you have tried everything suggested in this thread... |
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Give a club a go, you can look around, choose to play or not, choose to let someone join you or not and just see how you both feel before progressing further. Once through the door it is a lot less daunting than you imagine - you have many choices not too far away  |
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"Me and hubby are keen to experiment but keep changing our minds about how to initially introduce another person into our play.
We swing ( ) from visiting a club, to hiring an escort, to trying to arrange a meet, then back again, because of a million different reasons, thoughts and feelings.
We are sure we want to try something but just don’t know which way to go.
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks!
X
Why do you keep changing your minds? You have to both want this 100% if you are going to play with someone else and it sounds like you have more talking to do. They are are human being and not just a toy for your pleasure. Nothing worse than a couple freaking out mid play cos they are not being honest wuth each other. At least if you go down the escort route she will be paid first for the inconvenience."
Yep , we agree with this |
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