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New non swinging partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? |
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Do you want to/intend to keep swinging? If so how important to is it to have the freedom to swing v maybe losing the potential relationship?
I would say if swinging is a deal breaker you need to tell them. No one wants to be in a relationship where they don't feel free to be 100% them self. |
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? "
I hope never to be in that position but if I was I would be truthful about my life as it was and is. I would also state my non negotiable criteria for a relationship and encourage them to do the same. What's the point in entering a relationship and finding six months or six years down the line that your requirements and expectations are different. |
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Had a similar conversation with a collegue who is openly bi at the start of her relationship.
Putting it mildly, if he cannot accept you for who you are then it should speak volumes about who he is.
The conversation then went on to "look, if you are there with a girlfriend and as he walks in you start kissing, if he doesnt want to join in..."
She just chuckled and agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation "
My thoughts exactly  |
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"Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation
My thoughts exactly "
I agree completely.
It's been said before, this place need an "Up Vote" or a "Like" button.  |
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Don’t keep anything in the closet, if you intend to carry on swinging then he/she deserves to know, if you intend on giving up the lifestyle they should be aware of the history, you never know what skeletons may come to life down the line
My opinions of course  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I would just leave it behind its the most sensible option."
Maybe sensible... Bit this person isn't very sensible. Loves the buzz of the lifestyle. ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be honest. If i care for a person I would rather not lie to them and lead them down the garden path. Even though it's what our bodies want culturally it's a big no no. This means the vast majority would not understand. Plus if they get on board could be the start of something beautiful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? "
I told my ex about how I'm into this lifestyle. You can guess the outcome as I'm back and within single profile again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove?
I hope never to be in that position but if I was I would be truthful about my life as it was and is. I would also state my non negotiable criteria for a relationship and encourage them to do the same. What's the point in entering a relationship and finding six months or six years down the line that your requirements and expectations are different."
Absolutely this! |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I tell people, (if I feel things could get intimate), about my lifestyle and sexual liberation. I'd rather be honest up front.
If I feel it would put them off me, then I probably would never get as far as that conversation because I wouldn't feel we are a good match. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is a guy who may get back together with his ex wife. But she hasn't a clue he's been swinging for the last couple of years...and would be horrified.
Does he carry on behind her back?
Does he stop and be vanilla forever more?
Or does he abandon all thoughts of a reconciliation and carry on having fun? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a guy who may get back together with his ex wife. But she hasn't a clue he's been swinging for the last couple of years...and would be horrified.
Does he carry on behind her back?
Does he stop and be vanilla forever more?
Or does he abandon all thoughts of a reconciliation and carry on having fun?"
Why is he getting back with her if they're not compatible? |
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"This is a guy who may get back together with his ex wife. But she hasn't a clue he's been swinging for the last couple of years...and would be horrified.
Does he carry on behind her back?
Does he stop and be vanilla forever more?
Or does he abandon all thoughts of a reconciliation and carry on having fun?"
Or does he have an adult conversation with her and say "look, this is me warts and all. To stand any chance of success we need to know each other properly"?
If she would be horrified by his activities to the point that she couldn't accept him they aren't right for each other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation
My thoughts exactly "
May see you in November in York |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? "
It depends on how important the relationship is
It depends upon how important swinging is.
If they disapprove then what is the point in telling them we don't tell our whole past to all new partners in general.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? "
I think it would depend on whether or not you were planning to continue swinging. More importantly, on how you want that relationship to evolve - do you want them to swing with you, are you prepared to be non-monogamous in that relationship without their knowledge, etc. |
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Speaking from a purely personal point of view if (god forbid) i Mr had to start a new relationship my mind and whatever other bits would be 100% in that relationship. If over time we grew together then i would if i felt appropriate venture the subject of swinging.
I certainly wouldn't jump in sharing a new partner the thrill comes to me from doing this with someone i love and care about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation
My thoughts exactly
May see you in November in York "
Ooo look forward to it x |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"Relationships are always based on honesty and as such a conversation needs to be had. Just think if someone outed you 4 years into the relationship, not a good situation "
.
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone, or rekindle an old relationship with a non swinger, do you tell them about your lifestyle? Or keep them in oblivion, if you know they will disapprove? "
So you start off cheating or you drop swinging? Definitely not the former. |
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