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Messages from hidden profiles
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In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the time babe! Winks. Looks. Fabs. Especially on our couple profile. What's the point? If you have hidden your profile it looks to me that you are having a break or something....don't wink, fab or look at me from a hidden profile! Lol.  Cath Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? "
You did the right thing. Alarm bells would ring for me if somebody refused to let me see their profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? "
Why message somebody if your profile is hidden? Surely you know the person or couple you email is going to want read your profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had my profile hidden but only been going on the forums. If its hidden surely its coz your having a break? Would make no scence to message anyone with a hidden profile.
Bit odd if you ask me. X |
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it?
You did the right thing. Alarm bells would ring for me if somebody refused to let me see their profile. "
Yes me too but they’ve both come back insisting profiles tell you nothing that you can’t ask. Maybe but wtf should I have to ask?!! I want to read a profile to see if I want to give someone my time first. I told them both it’s creepy and both have chosen not to unhide. Got something to hide imho and now both blocked. Just really weird!! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it?
You did the right thing. Alarm bells would ring for me if somebody refused to let me see their profile.
Yes me too but they’ve both come back insisting profiles tell you nothing that you can’t ask. Maybe but wtf should I have to ask?!! I want to read a profile to see if I want to give someone my time first. I told them both it’s creepy and both have chosen not to unhide. Got something to hide imho and now both blocked. Just really weird!!"
Not only weird but a touch arrogant IMHO!! The assumption that you'd engage with them to find out more without the benefit of reading a profile first suggests either they can't be bothered putting the effort into a profile or they're so far up themselves you'd not want to know anyway - avoiding was the best course of action.
Sure people hide all the time and for all sorts of reasons, but if they expect someone to engage with them they should at least be prepared to unhide even temporarily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it?
You did the right thing. Alarm bells would ring for me if somebody refused to let me see their profile.
Yes me too but they’ve both come back insisting profiles tell you nothing that you can’t ask. Maybe but wtf should I have to ask?!! I want to read a profile to see if I want to give someone my time first. I told them both it’s creepy and both have chosen not to unhide. Got something to hide imho and now both blocked. Just really weird!!
Not only weird but a touch arrogant IMHO!! The assumption that you'd engage with them to find out more without the benefit of reading a profile first suggests either they can't be bothered putting the effort into a profile or they're so far up themselves you'd not want to know anyway - avoiding was the best course of action.
Sure people hide all the time and for all sorts of reasons, but if they expect someone to engage with them they should at least be prepared to unhide even temporarily."
Those bells make my ears ring! If they unhid their profile for you, then maybe. But it does sound odd.
The opposite happens too. I’m Hidden but people message... why!? Baffles me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it?
You did the right thing. Alarm bells would ring for me if somebody refused to let me see their profile.
Yes me too but they’ve both come back insisting profiles tell you nothing that you can’t ask. Maybe but wtf should I have to ask?!! I want to read a profile to see if I want to give someone my time first. I told them both it’s creepy and both have chosen not to unhide. Got something to hide imho and now both blocked. Just really weird!!"
Stupid, entitled arrogant people who think they don’t have to play the game because they are different, or better.
Plus, if they are putting themselves forward as dominant, they are trying to set the power dynamic early.
Nonsense like this is why I haven’t found anyone with whom to explore power exchange. Even I know that there is more to you than this profile states, so they are badly informed and making assumptions too. |
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I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons. |
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"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons."
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons.
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled."
I think there's a world of difference between what you describe and the kind of thing the OP was referring to - especially given the D/s angle too.
And for what it's worth from what I have seen around the forums etc I don't for one minute think you're either arrogant or entitled and that's partly because you have a forum presence that in some ways reduces the need for your profile to be visible all the time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons."
this is an example I was thinking of whereby a hidden profile may contact. If I contact someone I would show my profile quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons.
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled.
I think there's a world of difference between what you describe and the kind of thing the OP was referring to - especially given the D/s angle too.
And for what it's worth from what I have seen around the forums etc I don't for one minute think you're either arrogant or entitled and that's partly because you have a forum presence that in some ways reduces the need for your profile to be visible all the time. "
Thank you for typing it so I didn’t have to. My post was specifically about the OPs situation, not a general comment on people who hide profiles.
I really think that the OP’s messages were from individuals establishing an information and power differential from the off. Had she engaged she would have only been able to elicit information they chose to give her, with the ‘Dom’ retaining control of the information flow. What these individuals don’t seem to realise is that anyone with any nouse won’t waste time with these kind of games at the very beginning of an interaction so they are left only with the very naive or the fatally curious. The whole mode of operation shows just how little value some ‘Dominants’ actually put on establishing trust and respect. |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
I always check profiles before reading messages and if they are hidden i just delete these days as iv had extreme abuse before from them who cant understand why i wouldnt want to communicate with a hidden profile. Cant work out why hidden profiles would even bother! |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
My Profile is active at the moment as I am heading to a club at the weekend, and I want to connect with others going... However 95% of the time my profile is hidden.. I like to do my own hunting, and I will always unhide my profile if I am chatting to someone so they can take a look... I will always explain this too in my first message to someone....
I have a certain preference in men, and keeping my profile hidden also means it saves me from getting messages from guys I am not interested in and the abuse when you delete or don't read messages....
There are people who have genuine reasons for hiding their profiles... |
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Although I understand people's need for privacy I have no idea how anyone would think you'd be intrested when they are not sharing and information about them self. Not only do you not get any idea what their like, it also puts up a barrier and fails a base layer of trust. |
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"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons.
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled.
I think there's a world of difference between what you describe and the kind of thing the OP was referring to - especially given the D/s angle too.
And for what it's worth from what I have seen around the forums etc I don't for one minute think you're either arrogant or entitled and that's partly because you have a forum presence that in some ways reduces the need for your profile to be visible all the time. "
I didn't read the OP's profile, so I missed the d/s part.
Sorry for my twopence worth! It is a completely different situation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? "
I've had that a few times and always replied can't see what difference it makes you don't know anyone until you meet them |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I have had my profile hidden but only been going on the forums. If its hidden surely its coz your having a break? Would make no scence to message anyone with a hidden profile.
Bit odd if you ask me. X"
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing?
Anyone else getting it? I've had that a few times and always replied can't see what difference it makes you don't know anyone until you meet them "
I like to see who I'm chatting with and know a bit about who I'm potentially going to meet. Don't like blind dates!  |
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"I had someone the other night messaging with a hidden profile, so I just never answered them I don't see the point in it."
Been getting views from hidden profiles for a while now we normally block them but last week we had random messages from 2 users both of whom we blocked
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"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons.
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled.
I think there's a world of difference between what you describe and the kind of thing the OP was referring to - especially given the D/s angle too.
And for what it's worth from what I have seen around the forums etc I don't for one minute think you're either arrogant or entitled and that's partly because you have a forum presence that in some ways reduces the need for your profile to be visible all the time.
Thank you for typing it so I didn’t have to. My post was specifically about the OPs situation, not a general comment on people who hide profiles.
I really think that the OP’s messages were from individuals establishing an information and power differential from the off. Had she engaged she would have only been able to elicit information they chose to give her, with the ‘Dom’ retaining control of the information flow. What these individuals don’t seem to realise is that anyone with any nouse won’t waste time with these kind of games at the very beginning of an interaction so they are left only with the very naive or the fatally curious. The whole mode of operation shows just how little value some ‘Dominants’ actually put on establishing trust and respect."
Spot on both of you. I get hiding profiles, I hide my own often enough but if I messaged someone with a view to meeting and the possibility of a relationship, I’d damn well unhide it before messaging or if not when requested. How can you send a first message about a potential relationship and not even show your profile?! Neither unhid the profile even when requested and that’s a massive red flag to me, moreso the one who started ranting at me. He’s probably very offended I blocked him bless.
There are Dominants and there are domineering or arrogant people that act like a potential sub should just accept and do everything they say from the off even though there’s no power exchange agreed. These two both fell in the latter category and not the type of man I wish to be with! Some think submissives are weak but they’re the strongest and feistiest people I know! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I often hide my profile because I get tired of some of the messages I get (I can't filter up because I'm setting up a forum social).
I have messaged people (admittedly through the forums) and they have responded. I've also received messages through the forums. When I've explained why it's hidden, it's been accepted and we have continued chatting.
People don't always hide their profile for creepy reasons.
Oh, and I don't think I'm arrogant or entitled.
I think there's a world of difference between what you describe and the kind of thing the OP was referring to - especially given the D/s angle too.
And for what it's worth from what I have seen around the forums etc I don't for one minute think you're either arrogant or entitled and that's partly because you have a forum presence that in some ways reduces the need for your profile to be visible all the time.
I didn't read the OP's profile, so I missed the d/s part.
Sorry for my twopence worth! It is a completely different situation!"
No apology necessary at all, your points were still valid regardless even if they didn't apply to the OP |
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"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? "
No profile, no reply. Simples.
We wouldn’t trust anyone who messaged with a hidden profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I keep a deactivated profile much of the time as I'm largely overseas and it stops messages building up, but I still send the odd message if somebody seems interesting.
If explained it tends not to be an issue, but I can see how it would be offputting without any kind of explaining. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"In the last week I’ve had two people messaging wanting to chat with a view to meeting but from a hidden profile. Neither have unhidden it despite asking so I wouldnt chat.
Before this last week I’ve not come across this before but now twice - is this a new thing? Anyone else getting it? "
Had it happen a couple of times, the first time I messaged to say we only talked to profiles we could see and just got a "ok, no problems" response. Since then we just ignore hidden profiles if they send us a message. |
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