FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Not been allowed to a social
Not been allowed to a social
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I’m not verified and for that reason (hopefully) people tend not to talk or arrange meetings which I can understand.
Since I can’t use my eBay feedback as a form of verification lol I thought I’ll go to a social near me next sat
Asked politely to be added to the list and was told it’s closed to single males as we have enough.
Ok can you let me know if anyone drops out please
Sorry there’s people already on a reserve list and you need to be verified to come anyway
Ffs that’s why I’m wanting to go  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not verified and for that reason (hopefully) people tend not to talk or arrange meetings which I can understand.
Since I can’t use my eBay feedback as a form of verification lol I thought I’ll go to a social near me next sat
Asked politely to be added to the list and was told it’s closed to single males as we have enough.
Ok can you let me know if anyone drops out please
Sorry there’s people already on a reserve list and you need to be verified to come anyway
Ffs that’s why I’m wanting to go "
It's called sods law my friend this is a very close knit community ya know and the more you want in it the harder it gets, that's irony for you  |
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Some socials fill up fast. Especially single male places. Often there is a limit for capacity reasons. Alot of hard work goes into planning these type of events. You are doing yourself no favours by whining about the lack of places. Instead look out for future ones to get your name on the list. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some socials fill up fast. Especially single male places. Often there is a limit for capacity reasons. Alot of hard work goes into planning these type of events. You are doing yourself no favours by whining about the lack of places. Instead look out for future ones to get your name on the list."
I'm all for wining and dining old boy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons "
My ex and I ran the local socials for a while, and it was my ideal that it was going to be all inclusive. We chose wheelchair friendly venues, arranged the chairs so that we were in a circle (nobody on the edges on their own) made sure everyone swapped seats every so often so everyone got a chance to mix and mingle etc.
We made the decision that anyone who wanted to come could, even if that meant more single guys than couples and women.
We had loads of positive feedback and some people even said it was the best social they had ever been too.
However we also had comments saying it was too male heavy and so they wouldnt be attending again.
When the list went up for the next few socials, couples and single ladies were saying that they would like to see the guest list before deciding if they were coming.
So, although not what you wanted to hear, the organisers probably didn't have a great deal of choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons "
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try a local club that allows single guys!
I’d happily couple up with you and go to a club with sadly too far away.
Try not to despair!"
Hey couple up with me instead I love coupling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid "
Sounds like you are not enjoying yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP.
Stamping your feet and moaning about your exclusion isn't going to make the organisers have a change of heart.in fact it may even hinder your inclusion to future events.
As others have advised,go to a club,mingle with others and get verified that way
You might even enjoy the club scene
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid "
Damn right  some are even downright.
That is such utter nonsense. Guys that font make the effort or send rude or poor messages, especially ones with attitude get a hard time. There are plenty of nice guys, a number of whom have played with us and verified that is just a proportion of them. Not one of them felt entitled or had an attitude problem, and none of them felt sorry for themselves before or after. |
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We used to organise some large socials and did allow some non-verified people (couples and/or singles) to attend but only after chatting with them for a while on line. The reason being, we had to make sure the people attending where attending for the right reasons and where genuine swingers. I know it sounds harsh the organisers not allowing you to attend but they do have to protect the others that are coming, by making sure only genuine people attend.
Dont give up, there are many other ways to get verified, and has others have said, clubs, other socials etc all work. |
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid "
With this sort of attitude it’s not surprising that you find couples and single ladies to be rude. Entitled people are NOT attractive! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some people put on coffee veries as in they will meet a few people for a coffee just to give the newbies a veri to help them out , seems a great way to meet and get veried |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep your eye out for other socials.
I live in south Somerset and have been to Manchester and London for socials. They have no entry requirements but the lists fill quickly.
They’re a real good laugh. If you can’t go though you must let them know or you won’t get on the list again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a FWB to a couple, i thought I may add my two pennies worth. It takes time on here and as someone said it is a close knit community. My adivce is to comment on forums go into chat and speak to people build up rapport with people and over time you will become known as ...yes a single guy...but one who is polite respectful and not pushy (hopefully).
That is how it worked for me but took time. I have been on here 6 years + and met some great people. I have even organised socials as a single male which have had a great attendance from couples (whom i have chatted with on forums) and singles...
Only my humble opinion but hope this helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not verified and for that reason (hopefully) people tend not to talk or arrange meetings which I can understand.
Since I can’t use my eBay feedback as a form of verification lol I thought I’ll go to a social near me next sat
Asked politely to be added to the list and was told it’s closed to single males as we have enough.
Ok can you let me know if anyone drops out please
Sorry there’s people already on a reserve list and you need to be verified to come anyway
Ffs that’s why I’m wanting to go "
We allow unverified men at the Bradford social on a first come basis. but do limit the numbers. We can have 60 or more single guys wanting to go. |
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It’s very simple really.
Accept the rules the organisers make without taking them personally- this is a good lesson to learn for swinging in general- dont take rejection personally. Just accept it with grace and dignity....
Get yourself verified - it’s easy - visit a club, be a social person and talk to people and get to know them a bit and ask them to verify you.
Dead easy. |
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I think the need for verification is a red herring. Unfortunately the driving factor seems you were just too late in the game (even for the reserve list). These things can fill fast with single men. Simply no room at the inn. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Try a local club that allows single guys!
I’d happily couple up with you and go to a club with sadly too far away.
Try not to despair!"
Kittykat
That's such a lovely gesture.
I'm still hoping to get my first verify soon. I have only done one club and have only been on FAB for a week or so. So I'm hoping that someone will remember me from that night.
If only more females were more hospitable. We all newbies once. Us single males pay the most (on the door) and tend to be filtered out of a lot of profiles.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try a local club that allows single guys!
I’d happily couple up with you and go to a club with sadly too far away.
Try not to despair!
Kittykat
That's such a lovely gesture.
I'm still hoping to get my first verify soon. I have only done one club and have only been on FAB for a week or so. So I'm hoping that someone will remember me from that night.
If only more females were more hospitable. We all newbies once. Us single males pay the most (on the door) and tend to be filtered out of a lot of profiles.
"
I have messaged and given several newbies a chance to meet for a coffee and a chat and get a veri. Only one turned up. I tend to message the guys that show up on my local list that have made the effort. |
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Many thanks to all who replied with some good suggestions.
Sorry if the post seemed like I was throwing my teddy out of the cot that wasn’t intended
Good news is
I am on the list for a social this weekend and hopefully will get to meet some nice people and (fingers crossed) get verified
Once again much love x |
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We’ve been to a few different socials. Honestly (and I’m sure I’ll get shot for this comment...) not the way to get veri’s!!! Most with the exception of the Bradford socials we’ve ended up leaving early because there’s a distinct clique that if you’ve come from outside and no one knows you, you end up pulling teeth to try to get folk to talk to you. Or maybe we are just mingers lol |
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid "
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been to a few different socials. Honestly (and I’m sure I’ll get shot for this comment...) not the way to get veri’s!!! Most with the exception of the Bradford socials we’ve ended up leaving early because there’s a distinct clique that if you’ve come from outside and no one knows you, you end up pulling teeth to try to get folk to talk to you. Or maybe we are just mingers lol"
That's for that. Next date to be posted soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try a local club that allows single guys!
I’d happily couple up with you and go to a club with sadly too far away.
Try not to despair!"
And then he has to pay a fortune to join and get in .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
"
really....... Do you bribe them? |
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In all honesty, you need to get out to some clubs a bit more. That will help widen your social network on the scene, and who knows what it will lead to? After all, I've had no complaints after 28 years on the scene.
Everything is what you make it. |
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
really....... Do you bribe them?"
Of course I do.
But shhhhhhhh, right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
really....... Do you bribe them?
Of course I do.
But shhhhhhhh, right? "
ok sorry nobody noticed....... Carry on |
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
really....... Do you bribe them?
Of course I do.
But shhhhhhhh, right? ok sorry nobody noticed....... Carry on"
Phew. My secrets safe..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
really....... Do you bribe them?
Of course I do.
But shhhhhhhh, right? ok sorry nobody noticed....... Carry on
Phew. My secrets safe....."
yes and the other three to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont go to these types of events due to restrictions on single males. I love a single man and they tend to be organised with only couples in mind. Go to a club. Weekdays are usually better for newbie singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you’ve got a webcam you could go in chat rooms and ask someone to verify you, failing that go to a club get talking to people (maybe get lucky at the same time!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not verified and for that reason (hopefully) people tend not to talk or arrange meetings which I can understand.
Since I can’t use my eBay feedback as a form of verification lol I thought I’ll go to a social near me next sat
Asked politely to be added to the list and was told it’s closed to single males as we have enough.
Ok can you let me know if anyone drops out please
Sorry there’s people already on a reserve list and you need to be verified to come anyway
Ffs that’s why I’m wanting to go "
You persevered, got on the list, turned up, (you looked very smart), you chatted to people, you got a verification.
Job done.
Welcome to Fab, you now know what to do.
Mrs |
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"Thought I’d joined fab not the fecking masons
to be honest as a single male on here u will find most people are arseholes and damn right rude I’m afraid that’s what these sites are like it’s all about couples and single females I’m afraid
Nonsense. I'm a single male, crap profile, rubbish pictures, dad bod.
But I do OK........
really....... Do you bribe them?
Of course I do.
But shhhhhhhh, right? ok sorry nobody noticed....... Carry on
Phew. My secrets safe.....
yes and the other three to "
You've only counted three?
*breathes sigh of relief.
Let's not mention the penny farthing and the chocolate tort again eh? |
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